“Then what would you do?”
He took my hand. “I would go to the woman I loved and ask her if she wanted me enough to leave with me. Power is fleeting. No matter how good it feels to have a kingdom, they are easily lost.”
“You would abandon your people?”
“People always die in battle, Sar. That’s cold, but it’s the truth. If I am not the king, it’s not my fight or my responsibility to protect them. And even then, there are conditions, such as did my fellow people bring this attack on themselves with some evil of their own. Say an unprovoked attack?”
“For arguments sake, your people didn’t provoke the attack. Given that, what if your woman had asked you to stay and fight and then to rule with her?”
“Then I would have stayed and done so to the best of my ability,” he said simply. “It’s a burden to rule, but at least you have a say in how things are done and the authority to stop atrocities from happening. Having power means you can protect the ones you love from those that would hurt them. I understand that a lot more now that I am a Vampire Ruler.” He kissed my hand tenderly. “Now why did you want to know this answer?”
I didn’t reply.
“A better question is what are you going to do, given your choices?” Danial continued. “Are you going to leave with Theo or become my lover again?”
“Become your lover again,” I whispered.
My words were soft, but Danial reacted as if I’d slapped him. “Come again?”
“I’m not leaving so some other vampire can stumble onto me in one of my moods and drain me dry of my summer-tasting blood,” I said angrily. “The question is, can you hold on to enough of your self-control to make sure you don’t give me any more of the virus while you’re sating me?”
“It’ll be difficult, but I’ll do my best,” Danial said, coming to sit next to me. He slipped his arm around me.
“I thought you’d take the idea well,” I said with a ghost of a smile. “Do you have any ideas of how to break it to Theo?”
“First, are you certain this is what you want? Your quickly made decision to return to my bed may prompt a divorce, or at the least, a separation.”
“I know I’m impulsive sometimes,” I replied, irritated. “So is Theo. But you aren’t, Danial. All of your decisions are thought out beforehand and then planned thoroughly. If there’s a way to take me through this safely and sanely, you’ll find it.”
Danial hugged me. “Your confidence in me is very flattering, Sar, but it’s also terrifying. I don’t know what’s happening to you. But I will do what I can to help you get through it—”
“Sure you will,” Theo growled from the doorway. His eyes were yellow. “After all, she’s the way she is because of you—”
“Don’t fucking fight again!” I shouted, rounding on him. “He didn’t do this on purpose.”
“Theo, I do have to apologize—” Danial began.
“And what might you need to apologize for?” Theo snarled, rage building fast. “Fucking my wife?”
“Yes, we fucked,” Danial said curtly, his eyes bleeding to red. “Now deal with it, because it wasn’t a fling or a good time. It was scary for the both of us.”
Theo blinked his eyes, his rage ebbing to confusion and skepticism. “How was it scary exactly?”
“I told you about The Lust,” I said to him, wishing hard for my flush to recede. “I felt the same today as I did then. Danial felt something similar. Terian says it’s because I’m close to turning. That Danial’s being drawn to me to make me vampire—”
“Then how does getting naked with him again lead you back to human?” Theo said sarcastically. “Did I miss something?”
“This is not her fault,” Danial interjected. “Stop acting jealous, and let her explain.”
I explained to Theo what Terian had suggested in terms of options. “He said in enough time I’ll go back to human, and this will stop,” I finished.
“When will that be?” Theo asked pointedly.
“He’s not sure,” Danial supplied. “Camlyn tested her blood. Sar’s blood is still at the virus levels it was last May.”
“So you’re saying months,” Theo said, his resentment and anger again building. “Maybe even years. But you don’t want me to consider taking her out of state to protect her—”
“There’s no place you can go in my territory that’s vampire free. Even the states out West have a steady population. It’s her life at risk if she leaves with you—”
“It is her life, and she’s my wife!” Theo shouted. “I don’t need you telling me how to protect her from vampires or anyone else!”
“I’m not leaving,” I said to Theo flatly. “It is my life, so it’s my decision. I’m going to try Terian’s suggestion with Danial.”
Theo gave me a furious look, then stormed out, slamming the front door hard.
“I’m sorry that went so badly,” Danial said, taking me in his arms again.
I pushed him away gently. “So am I. But there isn’t another choice I’m comfortable with.”
Danial kissed my cheek gently. “Me either. So how do you want to work this?”
“I don’t know how much we can plan,” I said, grimacing. “I was fine with you for three weeks after being with Devlin, but he and I were intimate many times. I’d guess we’ve probably got a week of normalness until I flip out again and bring you with me.”
“Nice description,” Danial said, rolling his eyes. “But we’ll try that span to start with. As you get more and more human, we likely can increase the span of time between being intimate. I’m not sure how you want to work that part either. I propose you just stay over once a week on the weekend. We’ll need to keep it from Elle, of course.”
“Yes,” I said, nodding once. “That sounds fine. Saturdays would be best.” That would give us a week to prepare and me a week to try to convince Theo this was the best option.
“For me also,” Danial said, then kissed my cheek. “Then I’ll see you next Saturday. Bring a change of clothes and whatever else you’ll need for the night. I’ll arrange the rest.”
I nodded and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. “Thanks. I feel odd to be thanking you, but it’s right to. What you’re going to have to do with me isn’t going to be the lovefest Theo’s envisioning.”
“I’ll manage to sneak some in somewhere. Don’t worry,” Danial said seductively. “Now go after him and try to talk some sense into his thick head. You and he are done with work here until Monday.”
I nodded and went to go, but he grabbed my arm. “Sar.”
I turned back to him. “What?”
“If he won’t come around, I’d like you to come back here to live,” Danial said, biting one lip with the edge of his fang. “We got through The Lust together. We can get through this, too.”
“I hope it won’t come to that,” I said slowly, looking into his eyes. “But if it does, I’m going to.”
Danial’s lips parted in relief, though his fangs grazed his lip, keeping his face serious. “I can live with that.” He leaned down and kissed me lightly on the lips. “I’m going back to bed downstairs. You’re welcome to use my bedroom shower if you want to. The workmen are long gone. Leave your clothes outside the door. Mary can wash them tomorrow.”
Maybe that was best. Smelling sex on me wouldn’t make Theo more receptive to my plan. “Thanks,” I said, heading into the bedroom as Danial went to the basement.
The shower improved my mood. Oddly, I didn’t look like any more of a harlot than usual in the bathroom mirror, even after putting on Monica’s purple satin robe to venture outside the bedroom door to leave my clothes for Mary. There was a change of clothes waiting on Danial’s bed. Everything was new. Relieved, I put on the clothes, threw out Monica’s robe, left a note of thanks for Danial and then went looking for Theo.
He was not at the werefox compound or the firing ranges. No one had seen him since he’d returned with Hans and Warren from getting armor two hours earlier. De
ciding he was working things out for himself in the forest, I went back to Danial’s house to wait for him. Since I had no idea how long he’d be, I got some ice cream I’d made a few days before and went in to spend some time with Theoron.
He was awake when I came to his crib, reaching for me eagerly with a smile. “You look about two,” I said, picking him up. “Must be all the good things you eat. Want some ice cream?”
I slowly fed it to him. He loved it, licking the spoon, trying to bite it with his fangs occasionally. He didn’t understand yet that he didn’t need to grow his fangs to eat this kind of food. When he was done, I put the empty dish and spoon aside and began to sing to him.
“Love is touch. Touch is Love.
Love is living, living love.
Love is needing to be loved.
Love is you, you and me
Love is wanting to be free
Love is knowing we will be.”
I kissed him gently. “You like that? You’re not going to tell me I need voice lessons, I hope.”
Theoron watched me, rapt.
“We could put on one of Elle’s new DVDs,” I offered. “You like the one about the black horse. Or we could watch the one about the last unicorn. That has songs you like, too.” I had told Theo no more Saw movies until Elle at least looked thirteen. She and I had sung often together, sometimes off key, all through her growing up. She liked to sing as much as I did. Maybe she would want voice lessons herself soon...
Drop that thought, Sar. “Want me to sing the Love song again, Theoron?”
Theoron looked at me and concentrated. “Luv?” he said softly.
He’d finally spoken! I stared at him in shock, afraid to move.
“Luv?” he said again, studying me.
“Love,” I said, smiling encouragement. “Love.”
“Luv!” he said loudly.
I kissed him excitedly. “Ah! You spoke! Ah!”
He laughed delightedly.
Maybe I could get him to say other words. “Mom,” I said, then repeated it twice.
He looked at me. “Mum?” he said questioningly.
I shrieked in joy and triumph. He shrieked back at me, laughing again.
Danial came in, my dirty clothes in one hand. “What’s wrong? Why are you—?”
Theoron looked at Danial. “Mum?” he said questioningly.
My clothes fell out of Danial’s hands to the floor as he stared at us.
“Dad,” I said to Theoron, holding him so he could see Danial. “Dad.” Theoron looked at Danial, then at me. Danial came closer, and Theoron reached for him. “Dad,” I said again. “Daddy.”
“Day,” Theoron said.
“Yes,” said Danial with a sigh of happiness. He brought Theoron into his arms.
“Daddy,” I said one more time.
Theoron looked at me, then back at Danial. “Day-dy,” he said finally.
“Ah!” Danial cried, then a wide smile split his face, and he hugged Theoron tightly. Danial looked up at me. In his eyes was the most intense love I’d ever seen. It said without words that Theoron was his greatest joy, and I, the giver of his happiness, was his greatest love. He shifted Theoron to one arm and opened the other to me.
I went to him, put my arms around Theoron and him and then kissed them both. Danial trembled slightly as he held the two of us.
“Day-dy!” Theoron said, laughing and wriggling. “Day-dy! Mum! Luv! Day-dy!”
I laughed gleefully despite my eyes were wet. So did Danial, still hugging us fiercely.
Epilogue
It was more than an hour later when I emerged from Danial’s house. Theo was waiting for me in the truck, the engine off. I went to the passenger side and climbed in.
“I was beginning to think you’d never come out,” Theo said darkly. “I was going to wait another hour and then leave.”
“Theoron said his first words,” I said coolly. “You should have come in instead and seen him.”
“I’d just have been in the way, wouldn’t I?” Theo said bitterly. “I’m in the way now of you two. Just tell me go, and I’ll go, Sar. You can have your vampire back. Hell, you can turn if you want. But I need to know right now where I stand with you.”
“Did you see Terian?”
“Of course, I went there first. He told me just what you did. It’s like a knife in the side.”
“I have to try this,” I said, taking his hand carefully. “You weren’t here to see The Lust. Things with me might get bad. I need to know you can handle it. Because if you can’t, as much as I do love you, it might be easier if you left.”
“I’m not leaving,” Theo growled low, squeezing my hand. “I’m not leaving you or Elle behind. Much as I hate it, Danial’s right. There’s no place I know of without at least a couple vampires living nearby. And I’m not a match for a sorcerer. We determined that years ago.”
His old bitterness over Terian saving me when he hadn’t been able to alone. “This isn’t your fault. I told you I’m not leaving anyway. Now can you handle me going to Danial every week for all of Saturday night?”
“What exactly is going to happen?” Theo said, looking over with yellow eyes. “Tell me.”
“Danial’s going to have sex with me, protected sex,” I said quietly, flushing. “He’s not going to bite me or exchange blood. I’ll likely do everything I can to provoke him into biting me and be a bitch in general when I don’t get my way. He’ll do this every time. Over time, I’ll grow less and less wild as the urge to turn lessens. Then we’ll stop getting together Saturday nights.”
“How is this going to help you if he’s not giving you what you want?”
“It’s going to hopefully stop me from looking for other vampire company to finish my turning,” I said angrily. “Even so, I’m going to have to be escorted by you everywhere when I’m not here. Really, I’m guessing until this passes, I shouldn’t go out anywhere even with you as escort, except maybe in the daytime. It’s going to suck.”
“Actually, it isn’t,” Theo said with a sardonic smile.
Play this very careful. “Remember, too, I’ve given blood to Devlin recently, and he healed my wounds, both from the assassin’s bullet months ago and from Al’s whip man a month ago. That likely affected my blood. But there won’t be any more of that, so the reversion may happen quickly.”
“You aren’t happy about this,” Theo murmured. “You’re scared.”
“Of course I’m scared,” I said exasperated. “I hate not being in control. I’m not looking forward to being with Danial. I’m not going to be me with him.” I wiped away a tear. “I almost lost my mind when this happened before, Theo. That was for only three months. This might be longer.”
Theo drew me into his arms. “I’m sorry I got angry. A lot of my anger is that I want to help you, and I can’t. This isn’t something I know how to fix. But Danial can, of course. That you’re going to have sex again just makes it that much harder to take.”
“I understand that,” I sighed. “You have a right to be angry, just not at me or him.”
Theo didn’t reply for a few minutes. “I sent Ivan to our house to watch over it when it began to get dark. He said he’d walk the dogs and get the cats in for the night. Do you still want to go out?”
“Do you?”
“Yes,” he said. “I want to be with you out where people can see us together. Put your seatbelt on.”
Theo drove us to our favorite local restaurant. Today being Friday, a musician was singing sixties and seventies songs as he strummed his guitar. A lavish seafood buffet was spread across two long tables. The place was busy, many couples and families having a late dinner.
Theo had his usual four helpings, but I was strangely not very hungry. Even so, we stayed longer than usual, listening to the music and holding hands. I couldn’t shake the thought that this was going to be one of our last times together, and I didn’t want the night to end.
“Your hands, they are so cold, Sar,” Theo said, worried. His
were warm, like an oven as they rubbed mine. Then he began rubbing my wedding band and the diamond ring he’d given me with his fingers. His wedding band shone in the low light from the candle on our table.
Part of me wanted to say I was sorry again, but I was too worn out and exhausted. The wine I’d drunk had relaxed me, but it had made me sad again in the process. The musician was singing one of our favorite songs, “Fire and Rain.” It was almost over.
Been walking my mind to an easy time, my back turned toward the sun
Lord knows when the cold wind blows it will turn your head around
There’s hours of time on the telephone line, to talk about things to come,
Sweet dreams and flying machines in pieces on the ground.
I began crying again softly. Theo said nothing, just squeezed my hands in his and handed me a tissue from his pocket. I wiped my eyes.
“Let’s go,” he said when the song ended.
We said good-bye to everyone as we left. “Thanks for the great food and music!”
“Come back soon,” said the manager, beaming at us.
I hesitated in replying, looking at Theo and then he said, “We will.”
The musician began singing his next song, “Desperado,” as we walked out into the night. I shivered, the words seeming somehow portentous of something bad to come.
“Sar, get in the truck,” Theo said, unlocking the door. “I’ll put on the heater for you.”
Theo helped me in, his hands so warm against me that I didn’t want to let him go to drive.
“You’re so cold, Sar,” he repeated, worriedly. He pushed back his seat, got out a polar fleece blanket and tucked it around me. He reached over and held my hand. “Better?”
I brought it to my face, trapping it between my neck and my shoulder and held it there with my hands. “Yes. Thanks.”
As we drove home, Theo touched me gently with that hand, the touch of his fingers comforting and caressing me. Somehow during the journey, I fell asleep.
* * * *
Later, we sat before the fire and watched the flames dance.
Taken For His Own Page 31