Keeping Up Appearances

by Elizabeth Stevens

  “Oh, do I?” I giggled and his eyes found mine again.

  He nodded and kissed my forehead absently. “I’ll see you in a bit.”

  I shook my head and walked into the classroom, taking the random side chair I had for the rest of the week. Surprisingly, Miranda dropped into the seat next to me.

  “Uh, hi…” I gave her an uncertain smile.

  She gave me a wide smile. “Hi. How are you?”

  “Uh. Yeah, good. You?”

  She shrugged. “Fine. You coming to town with us on Friday night?”

  I blinked. “I wasn’t aware there was a town on Friday night…” I answered as two kids walked past us, muttering to each other.

  Miranda giggled. “You two are the talk of the school.”

  “What?”

  “You and Xand. People thought it was exciting enough that JT and Nancy got together? That was nothing compared to the talk going around about JT’s right hand girl going out with Xander Bowen!”

  I looked around and noticed that people were indeed staring at me even more obviously than they had the last two days. “Well, I’m sure they’ll get over it.”

  She snorted. “It’s like showdown of the century. Everyone’s just waiting for the bust up.”

  “What bust up?”

  She looked at me like I must have been an idiot, and to be fair I kinda sorta felt like one at that moment. “The one between JT and Xand. Everyone’s convinced JT’s going to try to win you back by fighting Xander.”

  I looked at her in utter disbelief. “They what?”

  “Right, class. How are we?” Mr Burnett called as he walked in, carrying his typical stack of books.

  “Morning, sir,” we all chorused as Miranda gave me a knowing smile.

  “Good. Roll. Holly?”

  I raised my hand and then just sat, feeling the urge to fidget, as Mr Burnett called out the rest of the roll. There were whisperings around the room and panic shot through me as I wondered how much of it was about me. I knew it was ridiculous; not everything revolved around me, obviously.

  After the roll had been called, we sat around and waited for the end of home group. Some kids went and talked to Mr Burnett about God knew what, while the rest of us chatted. Miranda started telling me all about what the Bows did on Fridays in town, and I did my best to concentrate while not focussing on the fact that apparently people thought Jason was going to fight Xander over me.

  The thought was ridiculous.

  Quite aside from the fact that Jason wouldn’t fight anyone over me, he’d already had a fight with Xander in Year 10. Well, that was the last fight he’d had with Xander and Jason had lost. Badly. So, I really couldn’t see anything that would be important enough for Jason to fight Xander over, let alone that thing being me.

  The complete waffle in my brain was interrupted when I saw Xander leaning on the lockers across from our classroom – they had convenient windows all across the walls to the hallways with rows of lockers along the other side – and he winked at me.

  Beside me, Miranda giggled and nudged me the way Nancy would have had any cute boy winked at me from outside the classroom. I was all at once touched by how nice she was being to me and saddened by the way my friendship with Nancy had gone sour. Mind you, there was a persistent voice in the back of my head that was warning me that Miranda’s niceness could have easily been a ruse and she was just lulling me in a false sense of security before she and the other Bows murdered me in my unsuspecting sleep.

  Then the bell for Recess rang and my worries were distracted.

  “All right, I’ve kept you long enough. Get out and I’ll see you lucky ones in class later,” Mr Burnett called and there was the great scraping of chairs that signalled mass student movement.

  “Well, hi,” Xander said as Miranda and I made our way out of the classroom.

  “Well, hi, yourself,” I answered, feeling a lot more chipper at the sight of his comforting smile than I really ought to have.

  He took my hand and Miranda and I followed him out to their table.

  “So, I asked Holly if she was coming to town on Friday, Xand. And she told me she didn’t know there was a town on Friday…” she said, a note of teasing to her accusation.

  Xander’s hand tightened in mine. “Ah, well. I didn’t know if Holly would be ready for that, Rand.”

  Miranda scoffed. “She’s ditched all her friends for you, the least you can do is act like she belongs with us.”

  Xander and I caught each other’s eye and I watched as his softened.

  It was interesting that Miranda saw it as me dropping my friends for him; it made me wonder what the rest of the school thought. Maybe if they all decided I’d dropped my friends for a grand romance instead of being a petty, jealous idiot that would make me look less like a bitch.

  “We have a standing thing of heading into town after school on Fridays…” Xander started, “it’d be great if you came?”

  Miranda snorted. “Sound less sure why not.” She jostled me playfully. “Just give him some time. None of us guessed he’d ever have a girlfriend, let alone someone not a Bow. He’ll adjust eventually.”

  “How long exactly have you been together, anyway?” Rachel asked as we arrived at the group and Daniel stood next to her expectantly.

  “About two weeks,” Xander replied unhesitatingly and I freaked the hell out.

  Rachel’s eyes narrowed. “That explains your behaviour on Saturday. And, I suppose she’s the real reason why you didn’t come to Teagan’s?”

  Cue a significant relax. Whelp, at least my fake boyfriend hadn’t been actual cheating on me at the same time my best friends had been hooking up. That was good to know.

  I felt Xander shrug. “I had better things to do.”

  “You could have invited her.”

  “Technically, she was invited. But, we felt kind of awkward.”

  “And, are you going to make it official, or just parade her around the school?”

  “Rach, what’s your actual problem here?” Xander huffed.

  Rachel crossed her arms, popped her hip, and looked between us. “I just don’t know, Xand. I feel like someone’s playing someone here and someone’s going to get fucked.”

  “No one’s playing anyone. You think I’m playing her? Like I have the energy to date someone just to play them? Fuck, it’s like you don’t even know me at all.”

  “Well… If you’re not playing her…” Rachel frowned at me with all the power of a territorial mother.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” Xander asked.

  “I mean she’s JT’s.” She shrugged. “Seems to me she’s playing you, man.”

  “She wasn’t and isn’t JT’s,” Xander said so forcibly even I believed it for a second.

  Rachel scoffed and looked me over like I didn’t impress her. I didn’t blame her, honestly; I didn’t feel very impressive on my best days, let alone on the days I was pretending to date a guy I hated.

  “Yeah, that’s not what the looks she gives him say. And, it’s mighty convenient she’s suddenly not one of his after she finds out he’s with Nancy.”

  Xander wrapped an arm around me like that was going to prove anything.

  “Look, I didn’t know about them and they didn’t know about us,” I said.

  “Oh, so now you jump in to your defence?” Rachel said.

  “I didn’t realise you needed my input to rag on me,” I quipped and Rachel’s snide glare was less disinterested annoyance and more dangerously provoked.

  “You watch it, Minion, or I’ll send you back to JT with more than a broken heart.”

  “Rach!” Xander yelled.

  “What? She’s always been one of his and she always will be.”

  “We’re not even friends anymore!” I cried.

  “Yeah, why is that?” she asked, suspiciously.

  “Loyalty’s obviously not her thing,” Daniel commented.

 
“The whole thing just blew up in our faces and I didn’t know how I was supposed to face them knowing we’d both been keeping secrets,” I answered, not really caring anymore what Nancy would do because I doubted she’d have been stupid enough to get herself into such a situation.

  “So, now Xand has to be a secret?” Rachel sneered.

  “Well, just look how well you’re reacting…” I said pointedly, raising my eyebrows.

  She opened her mouth and I expected her to have some witty retort. Instead, she closed it, frowned at me, paused, then said, “I’ll be watching you. One wrong move and I’m coming for you.”

  “Rachel, come on!” Xander huffed as she threw him a scowl and walked to the other side of the group. Daniel watched us for a moment longer and I was actually more afraid of him than I was of Rachel just then.

  “Well, wasn’t that fun?” Greg chirped and Xander glared at him.

  The rest of my day wasn’t much better.

  Xander went off to Music while I had History, and Greg was sent along with me almost like a protective detail. Rachel and like ninety-eight percent of the Bows may have looked on me in suspicion, but Greg and Miranda seemed to accept that Xander and I were dating with no issues. But then, Greg had been issueless for the past week. He was quickly becoming definitely good people.

  After History, Greg then walked me to English to meet up with Xander. After which the three of us went to lunch, the boys scrapping over something as insignificant as who was playing on whose team in PE after lunch. Weirdly, I thought it felt like the most normal thing in the world, especially when Xander threw me a cheeky grin from Greg’s headlock like he was letting me in on the game.

  Lunch was spent in Xander’s arms in what was apparently becoming the usual. He talked over and around me, taking a few moments here and there to whisper something to me as I tried to fit in. I had to constantly remind myself that this was the guy I’d spent years hating. I’d hated everything about all the Bows, but especially their King. Sitting among them and blindly pretending I belonged, I saw they were just normal people like my group…my old group.

  Miranda had the same Free and then Math with me after lunch. We sat in the Study Room and giggled like thirteen year olds most of the way through. I couldn’t even remember what we’d talk about in hushed whispers, but I’d started to fall for the ruse that I could belong in the Bows. Sure most of them hated me, but they did nothing more than look at me suspiciously because they knew anything else would displease Xander.

  Who had his Free last lesson, so I didn’t see him before I jumped on the bus to head home. By the time I’d trudged through the door, I’d lost all sense of settled I’d told myself I’d had while hanging out with Xander and the Bows.

  “Hey, little sist– Hey! You okay?” Mark asked as I plodded up the stairs.

  “Eh,” I replied with a shrug.

  “That little bitch and his new girlfriend giving you trouble?”

  I shook my head and kept walking.

  “Is this one of those times I follow and make you talk to me, or not so much?”

  “Eh.” I shrugged again and he laughed. I heard his footsteps on the stairs, then he overtook me and was throwing himself onto my bed as I slouched into my room.

  “Okay. Spill the beans, sister,” he said, his hands lacing behind his head.

  I threw my bag against the side of my desk and dropped into my desk chair. “You remember the Bows?”

  Of course when Mark was at school, they were led by Rachel’s older sister Dee. But, Xander had been making a name for himself for a while.

  Mark shuddered. “Yes. Hard to forget when I have to see the great wankstain that is Xander Bowen at least three times a week. Why? What’s he up to now?”

  I opened my mouth to spill everything, but I just couldn’t find the words. Instead, I tried to talk about my feelings without going into detail.

  “He’s being a regular douche as always.” Which was sort of not really close to the truth at all.

  “Okay, so what does any of this have to do with him?”

  I sighed. “You ever do something really stupid?”

  “Yes,” he answered simply. “That’s my job as the big brother. I do the stupid shit so you don’t. Why? What did you do?”

  I frowned at his accusatory tone. “I didn’t kill anyone, for what it’s worth.”

  “Why does it sound like that’s the preferable option in this scenario?”

  “I just haven’t been able to talk to Nancy and Jason since last Monday…”

  “And…?”

  “And, I made friends with a Bow…”

  Movement from the corner of my eye caught my attention as Mark bolted up right. “You what?”

  I shrugged. “I…uh, made friends with a Bow. Miranda, nice chick. Anyway, we’ve been hanging out a bit and… I don’t know. It feels fake, but I tell myself it’s not. And other times it feels real and I have to remind myself it’s not.” I was pretty sure I was half-talking about Xander here.

  “Uh, it probably feels fake because it is. Keep reminding yourself that,” Mark replied like he’d just had to correct me that the sky looked blue.

  I gave him my best scowl. “Gee, thanks.”

  He shrugged unapologetically. “What do you want me to say, Doll? She’s a Bow and you’re JT’s–”

  I stood up suddenly, annoyed. “I wish people would stop saying that!”

  “Is that Rachel skank still the Queen Bitch?” He changed the subject only slightly.

  I nodded.

  “And, how does she feel about you suddenly hanging out with them?”

  “She thinks I’m a spy.”

  Mark snorted. “Sweet. You should use that to your advantage.”

  “What?” I asked. “How?”

  “Relay the information to JT on how to bring them down from the inside.”

  “This is high school, Marco. Not the Cold War.”

  He shrugged again. “Much of a muchness.”

  I gave him a conceding nod on that one; some days, high school did feel like a cold war, especially when you had groups like the Bows against Jason’s group.

  “Ha, even better! Try to date King Douche and break his poor little heart.” He was laughing to himself until he looked at me. “What? Jesus, don’t tell me you hooked up with him?”

  I shook my head. “Uh, no. No, of course I didn’t. I have taste.”

  Mark snorted again. “Yeah, ‘course you do. I don’t want to know. Right,” he lay his hands on his knees and pushed himself to standing, “Mum wants a Skype date tonight. What’s the homework front look like?”

  I looked at my bag like it held all the answers. “Uh, get an early start on the next History assignment and some Math stuff I think.”

  “How’s the stats study going?”

  “Terribly, and we shall never speak of it again.”

  Mark laughed. “Burn it in a fire?”

  “Burn it in a fire,” I agreed.

  “I’ll get the acid for the ashes.”

  “Much appreciated, good sir. Now, kindly vacate my abode so I can try to wrangle Charlemagne into something worthy of a pass mark.”

  “You’ll be fine, little sister. You got all the brains after all.”

  “Oh, is that why you’re not a uni?”

  We both knew he didn’t have classes on Wednesdays.

  He huffed a laugh and came over to ruffle my hair before kissing it. “You’re a comedienne, you know.”

  “I’m brillo-pads, brother.”

  “Yeah, you are. I’ll come check on you later. Study hard.”

  “Will do.”

  And that was Mark, more parent than our dad.

  As he left, I felt a slight pang of guilt; I couldn’t remember the last time I’d lied to my brother. Actually, no…scrap that, I’d lied the day before when I told him I hadn’t eaten the last chocolate biscuit – not that he’d believed me. Oh, yeah, and the slight
mistruth about what I was talking to Xander about the week before. But, I’d never lied to him about anything that felt big. Maybe fake dating your ex-best friend’s nemesis wasn’t all that big a deal in the grand scheme of things, but it certainly felt like it just then.

  Chapter Ten

  On Thursday morning, I woke up minutes before my alarm was set to go off as the heat of Xander’s sinful smirk from the library the week before rudely hit me like an express bus up the Freeway. I sat bolt upright in bed and tried furiously blinking it out of my head. But, no luck.

  Told you I’d get to it eventually.

  It just took a little longer than usual.

  I spent the whole day pondering it and what the hell Xander and I were doing.

  Thursday was a day Xander and I only had our first double together. Miranda and Greg both asked me what was wrong in classes I had with them. But, they seemed happy to let me sit in contemplative silence after I’d smiled and told them I was just tired after not sleeping well.

  Which wasn’t entirely a lie.

  I just couldn’t believe what I’d got myself into. Everything in my head was telling me I was an idiot and to just get out before it was too late, back-peddle rapidly, make a slow exit from the room keeping your eye on the enemy. The enemy which, in this case, was Xander of course.

  But, I couldn’t stop myself waiting for his smile or looking forward to the way his hand fit in mine. I knew it was all for show, my head had no trouble remembering that Xander Bowen was the epitome of bad news. But, my heart could be found doing those stupid little skips and my lips turned up to match his smile whenever he flashed it my way.

  I had to hand it to him, boy was a good actor.

  His eyes were always warm and welcoming, they didn’t wander and Greg had told me he’d refused the advances of three different girls point blank because of me – although I hadn’t been named by name at the time – the week before. Which I thought was mighty suspicious considering we hadn’t come to any sort of agreement until Sunday. Still, I sort of understood the madness in doing something to save face.

  I was rearranging my locker after History before heading home – a last lesson Free meant I was free from school for the day – when I felt hands on my hips and a nose against my neck. I jumped, but the increasingly familiar scent that was Xander enveloped me. I still felt a little weird about it, but I remembered we were doing a thing here. Still, there was doing a thing and taking said thing to the extreme.