by Gini Koch
“Wow, you really must have done well on the verbal tests,” L.K. said. “Don’t worry, babe. It’ll all work out. It’s not time for everything to end yet.”
“Glad you feel so confident.” I looked around. Jack had a bulletproof vest on. Sure, it was made for humans and human bullets, but I had to hope it was going to work. The others could go to mist -- I heard Merc giving Sexy Cindy a fast lecture on how -- and Freddy, being a zombie, was reasonably safe as long as they weren’t shooting rock salt at him. “Freddy, put on a vest.”
He did as asked. “Victoria, if I may, what is your plan?”
“I have no plan other than storming in and shooting things. I don’t know what they’re doing, but spells of this magnitude can be disrupted by the tiniest things. I’m hoping we can all disrupt in more than a tiny way.”
“But, if you’re right and we’re facing Hitler, then he’s going to be thinking in a military fashion.” Freddy looked around. “You know….”
I waited, but he didn’t add on anything to that. “I know what? Right now, I don’t feel all that knowing.”
“Tanks.”
That was it. Apparently when he was under duress, Freddy went monosyllabic.
“Yes? Tanks? We have the Tour Bus.”
“There are all these cars here.” Freddy walked towards the nearest. “And this is the Estates. ‘Safe enough to leave your keys in the car.’ I wonder….” He pulled on the door handle and the driver’s door opened. “Sure enough.”
“Wow, people are really easily influenced. And, seriously, did you just memorize their advertising?”
Freddy shook his head. “I told you, Jerry quoted it. Not just these lines, every line about the Estates.”
A thought crawled up from the back of my mind. “Merc, L.K.”
They came over. “Nice car,” Merc said. “We borrowing?”
“Yeah, I think so, credit Freddy with our becoming a tank unit.”
“I see lots of big ones,” L.K. said. “Several Hummers and similar.”
“We’ll take those if we can. But I want you both to listen to Freddy recite every bit of Estates advertising propaganda he can remember.”
All three of them spoke as one. “Why?”
I headed off for the nearest Hummer. “Because I think they’re part of Hitler’s spell.” And while they weren’t warlocks, they were both musicians and undead proof that the right lyrics had magic in them.
Sexy Cindy caught up with me. “You want each of us driving?”
I considered. “If we can, yeah. Ralph needs to ride with someone, though.”
“I’ll take him with me,” she offered.
I almost said no, that I wanted him with Jack. But reality reared its head. Jack was a trained policeman, and Sexy Cindy wasn’t. “Sounds good. Ralph!”
He raced over. “You want me to go in first?”
“Bad dog. No, I want you to ride with Cindy.”
He glared. “Why is that?”
I opened the Hummer. Nice, keys were in it. How in the world anyone in the Estates kept a car longer than five minutes was beyond me, but I had a suspicion it was because this place was under a heavy spell we’d all missed for far too long. “I want you with Cindy because she’s new and I don’t want my only trained Enforcer shot down in the first wave.”
“You’re in charge.” Ralph and Cindy trotted off towards another humongous SUV. I hoped she could reach the pedals, but figured if she couldn’t, Ralph could do the highly trained pet thing and push them for her.
Jack grabbed me and pulled me into his arms. “Be careful.”
I leaned against his shoulder. “I’ll do my best.”
He kissed me. It was deep and urgent and far more arousing than the situation should have allowed. “You’re mine, I’m yours, no one in between -- right?”
“Right.”
“Promise me. No matter what happens, we’re together forever.” He looked worried and possessive and very masculine.
“Well, forever’s a long time.” I didn’t want to mention that if we failed, forever wasn’t going to last too long for any of us. And he was a human, meaning that even if we won, his forever and mine weren’t necessarily going to mesh.
Jack shook his head. “I don’t care. I’ll figure out how to last forever, okay? I just want to know that you’ll be with me, when I do.”
“I will be.” I leaned up and kissed him. “I promise.”
He hugged me tightly, kissed me one more time, then headed off for a nearby Suburban.
The others ran for similar vehicles and we started off. It wasn’t too hard to maneuver, the parking lot was huge and orderly. As I barreled towards the front of the Little Church worry flashed a fang. What if I was wrong? What if they weren’t in here at all? What if I blasted in only to find nothing but nice, churchgoing, normal people?
There are times for prayer. I decided this was one of them. “Yahweh, could I have a sign that I’m doing the right thing?”
I waited, pedal to the metal, for some sort of clue that this wasn’t going to be a really bad idea. Just as I hit the front steps and worry that I was completely wrong washed over me, a bolt of lightning hit the doors, blasting them open.
“Thanks,” I murmured as I plowed through, the others right behind me.
Chapter 53
The first thing I noticed was that there were no people inside the building. That was nice in that I wasn’t going to run some innocent down. What wasn’t nice was likely to be the answer to the question of where all the people actually were.
The church wasn’t empty, however. There were a variety of beings there. I recognized most of them. I had no idea if being hit by a big Hummer would cause any of the major minions damage, but I was willing to give it the old college try.
I aimed for Hitler. He was unmistakable -- short, military garb, ridiculous little moustache, funky-ugly haircut, overbearing and supercilious attitude. Not only did he look exactly like he had when he’d been running the Nazi Party, but he was in the center of the dais, pretty much on the exact spot where I figured Johnson did his preaching.
Hitler had an eerie glow around him and he was waving his hands about. I was pretty sure he was in the middle of casting a huge spell. I wasn’t sure if it was part of the spell already cast or a new one, but decided not to care.
The Hummer rolled over the comfy stadium-type chairs this place had instead of pews. It was a bumpy ride, but I was sort of high on adrenaline, so I didn’t notice all that much. I took in the rest of the scene, though, just in case.
Apollyon and Abaddon were flanking Hitler. They looked similar -- huge no-longer-angelic wings, meaning they looked more bat-like than feathered. Their faces were beautiful, but distorted by eons of hatred and evil, so they were both compelling and repulsive at the same time. They stood a good ten feet high, and they glowed an ugly, dark red. Apollyon held a flaming sword while Abaddon had a Hellfired crossbow.
Abaddon took aim, but not towards me. I realized he was shooting towards the car Jack was driving. Well, that wasn’t acceptable.
I spun the Hummer so it skidded towards the three minions on the dais. It had the double advantage of clearly causing Hitler to stumble and messing up Abaddon’s aim. It had the disadvantage of landing my door right next to Apollyon, who took the opportunity to slice through the metal like it was butter.
Some things are instinctive, and some beings react more instinctively than others. As far as undeads go, you don’t get more instinct-heavy than a werewolf. Even daemon cats and hellhounds had more instinctive control, though not much. I was in danger, and I did the thing I knew kept me most unalive. I shifted into wolf form -- and attacked.
Apollyon and I went tumbling, mass of claws, wings, and teeth, snarling up a storm. He gave as good as he got, which was a pity. I didn’t feel so great after a few minutes of this, but the positive was he wasn’t doing anything to anyone else.
I caught Ralph and Abaddon in a similar roll around and kill each other si
tuation. So, we were fighting the big guys. But there were plenty more here who needed distracting, if killing wasn’t going to work.
I landed a really good chomp on Apollyon’s neck, and risked a look around. Interestingly, Sexy Cindy and Freddy were attacking Hitler and seemed to be making progress. Merc and L.K. were dealing with some of the other minions hanging around. But I didn’t see Jack or the Adversary, nor could I spot Nero. However, what I could see was the fact that I’d been wrong earlier -- there were indeed humans here, they were just floating up against the ceiling. I couldn’t tell if they were alive, dead, held in suspended animation, or worse. But I knew without asking that once the spell holding them was broken, they were going to tumble down the four stories and splat onto the floor.
Apollyon used my temporary distraction grab my stomach and start that horrible insides burning thing the fallen liked to do. It was boil like a cabbage or let him toss me off. I picked flying through the air, landed and scrambled to my paws. Apollyon had his sword in hand again, but he was backing away.
I would have congratulated myself on being totally badass, but I knew he’d hurt me more than I’d hurt him. I also spotted Abaddon backing away from Ralph. I risked a look around. Our troops were arriving.
The momentary relief washed away as I looked around some more. The minions were still backing away -- all of them, Hitler included. But they didn’t look worried or defeated. They looked smug.
Smug minions is never a good thing. Risking a look upward, I saw a variety of angels covering the floating humans. Okay, so it wasn’t that. I looked behind again. Nope, our guys were filling the Little Church right up. So, why the happy looks on our enemies’ faces? Something was wrong, and I had to figure it out fast.
A fact reared up. The Adversary was nowhere around. If this was the big battle, then the Adversary was supposed to lead it. If he wasn’t with us, then what was really going on?
The base of my tail wanted a word. Just one word. It shared the word and I knew it was right. “It’s a trap!” I bellowed. “All Enforcement personnel clear out!”
Sadly, this didn’t have the effect I was hoping for. The minions continued to smirk and my side didn’t turn and run. Nothing for it.
I leaped and landed on the podium where the microphone was. “Clear out! That’s an order!”
The mic was on and I’d been shouting at the top of my lungs. Anyone who missed that was deaf, because I was loud enough to raise the dead. Some of the Enforcement side started to do as they were told.
The angels, in particular, didn’t. I knew they were trying to save the humans. But a thought occurred. “They’re an illusion,” I broadcast. “All the humans are tucked away in their homes, waiting for whatever automaton orders may be coming. But those aren’t real.”
Jack made it over to me. “Are you crazy? Retreat? We can stop them.”
“It’s a trap. We need everyone out.”
“How so?” Ralph and the others were with us now.
“Illusion. It’s all illusion, like the Hellfire was. It’s not the start of Armageddon. It’s a trap to get rid of all of us.”
I heard a horrible rumbling sound, like the depths of Hell were coming out through the bowels of the Earth. The doors that had been blasted off the front of the church reappeared and slammed shut. I reminded myself that the bad guys knew how to fake a being into thinking they were getting Godly assistance when they really weren’t. The windows and glass all went black. I didn’t need to ask if they were covered with something we couldn’t get through. I heard a great deal of slamming, indicating that any and all exits were now firmly shut.
As I was wondering just what was coming next, a voice I knew well but sure didn’t want to spoke up.
“You were always too smart for these creatures.”
I turned around. Sure enough, there he was, in all his so-called glory. Twelve feet tall, looking like some sort of cross of every horrible, icky thing in all the planes of existence. Dear old Dad. And, lucky me, there was the Mother of the Ages, standing with him. Family reunion time. I couldn’t wait.
Chapter 54
The Adversary shifted -- now there was what looked like a man in front of me. It always interested me that, when using human form, the Adversary went for a Big Harp likeness more often than Little. By all accounts, they looked enough alike that it probably didn’t matter, but I figured he liked being larger because it was more intimidating.
My mother beamed. “Eudora, time to come home.” She took the Adversary’s hand like they were normal beings. “Your father’s been very patient with you, but you must stop this foolishness.”
“He’s not my father, and you’re not my mother.”
She shook her head. “You know that’s not true.”
The Adversary patted her hand. “Now, dear, you know how stubborn our little girl is.”
I managed not to gag. “I am stubborn, but I’m not your little girl. Get out of here, before we destroy you.” Hey, I was good with the false bravado.
He laughed. “You and all your personnel are trapped. Easily, I might add.” The Adversary leaned closer to me, and I managed to hold my ground. “Did you really think we’d make it this easy for you?”
“Well, you’re all none-too-bright, so, yeah, I did.” Right now, none-too-bright was running in the family but I figured any stalling I could do would be a help.
I jumped down from the podium and went to human form, during which process I took a quick look around. We had a lot of Enforcement personnel in here, but not all. The injured members of my team weren’t around, as far as I could tell. Whether that meant they’d been held at the hospital or if it meant we had more than one mole, I couldn’t guess.
Our angels were down from the ceiling and behind me, creating a barrier between the minions and the rest of our troops. Angels were also into the self-sacrifice thing, if it was the only option. I didn’t like that it appeared to be the only option.
“So, just what are you hoping to accomplish here?” I figured questions might get answers and any extra time was going to benefit our side more than theirs.
“Extermination of most of Necropolis Enforcement,” the Adversary replied like it was obvious. Well, it was, but it never hurt to see if there was more going on.
“That’s it? All the pretty pre-Armageddon displays were just to lure us? You’re not really bringing about the Apocalypse?”
“Oh, we are.” The Adversary let go of my mother’s hand and stepped closer to me. “But there are certain…things we…need first.” He put his hand out toward me. “Certain beings we wish to…protect.”
In human form Big and Little Harp had murdered every sibling I’d had, so I was quite clear that they didn’t have a truly paternal bone in their horribly creepy shared body. Ergo, they wanted me for another reason. But I had no clue what that reason might be.
“I’m good here, thanks.” I backed up a step, keeping the distance between us so the Adversary couldn’t just reach out and grab me. “I chose my side a couple of hundred years ago, remember?”
He shook his head. “It was chosen for you. By that creature.” He spat the last word.
“Black Wolf wasn’t a creature. He was a hero.”
“You gave him your fealty, your love. A werewolf! The lowest of all the undead creatures. You became one of them, for no reason other than childish pique.”
I heard someone snort behind me. “Werewolves aren’t the lowest,” I heard Merc say, presumably to Sexy Cindy and Freddie. “Far from it. Wonder what his game is.”
Merc had spoken loudly enough to carry, so I knew he’d wanted me to hear it. And he had a good point. Werewolves weren’t up to angelic standards, but then, neither were vampires. But we were by far the most adaptable and versatile of all the undeads.
Black Wolf’s pack had slowed the Adversary down long enough for me to become a werewolf. There were several of them, yes, but I tried to think -- had any other undeads actually engaged the Adversary in hand-to-hand ba
ttle? And even if they had, did it matter? The Adversary could be killed, and had been killed, over and over again. Each Adversary was different, based on the being who took over the position. So, each one had different weaknesses.
Hoping he was listening, I spoke low and without moving my mouth. “Sic him, boy.”
Ralph leaped, fangs bared, as I did the same, changing in midair back to werewolf form -- might as well test whether wolf or werewolf did the most damage, after all. We hit at the same time. There was a boiling of evil undead ick and werewolf fur and fangs. But I could tell -- we were hurting the Adversary.
I heard someone who sounded like Jack shouting orders to attack. There was a lot of activity around us, but Ralph and I were pretty busy. I felt someone slamming something against my back.
“Bad girl! Get off your father!” Great, my darling mother was adding in.
“Yo, bitch, get off our girl.” I heard a thwack and no one was hitting me any more. As we rolled around I caught a glimpse of Sexy Cindy and my mother in a total girl fight. Happily, Sexy Cindy still had enough street in her to really have the upper hand.
I got the Adversary’s neck and chomped down hard. He did the shake and bake thing, but if Slimy hadn’t been able to shake me off, Daddy Dearest wasn’t going to manage it.
However, Apollyon and Abaddon decided to get involved. One grabbed me and one grabbed Ralph -- both pulled hard. This was almost helpful, in that we both had our jaws locked and they were essentially helping us take chunks out of the Adversary. However, it wasn’t good for either one of us to be held by a major minion -- I could feel my skin and insides starting to get hot. Soon they’d be boiling, and it was hard to make that stop once started.
Ralph and I let go at the same time, which sent the Adversary flying backwards. I changed to full wolf, bit and clawed, and managed to get Apollyon to loosen his hold enough that I could scrabble away. I slammed into Abaddon which gave Ralph the opportunity to escape as well.