Macarons at Midnight

by Suzanne Nelson

  “Yes,” I acknowledged, “but if they turn out to be jerks, it’s not worth it in the end. Which is why I need to find out more about Raj. So … will you do it?”

  Viv smiled. “Sure. I guess it’ll be fun.”

  But as Kyan and I said good-bye to Viv and headed for our lockers, Kyan kept his head down, frowning at the floor.

  “Are you okay?” I asked. “ ’Cause you look miserable.”

  “I am,” he said. He rubbed the top of his head so fiercely that I started to worry he might make a bald spot. “Like a cockroach sprayed with Raid.”

  “I … don’t really get that,” I said. “But it sounds bad.”

  He gaped at me. “It’s horrible. All those bug nerves exploding in agony.” My face must have been blank, because he gave up, sighing. “Never mind.”

  “Is this about Viv?” I asked as I grabbed my books from my locker.

  “Of course it is!” he growled.

  “I’m sorry. I should’ve checked with you to see if you’d mind before I asked for her help with Raj.”

  “No,” Kyan said. “This isn’t your fault. I’m the one who’s been telling you all along that she can’t ever be mine.”

  “That’s true,” I said. “The impossible alien insects thing, remember?”

  “Well, of course I have to say that!” he cried. “It’s how I protect myself. I mean, she sees every guy as potential dating material. But not me. Never me.” He shook his head. “It’s a hopeless case.”

  “No, it’s not,” I said. “You could tell her how you feel.”

  He rolled his eyes. “So she can do what? Laugh at me? No thanks. We’re friends again for the first time since preschool. I can’t ask for more.”

  “As long as you’re okay with that,” I said.

  He nodded firmly. “I just forget every once in a while that I have to be.”

  I offered up an encouraging smile. “Hey, at least she’s done with Holden. And you know nothing will ever happen between her and Raj. She said that already.”

  But Kyan still looked glum, and a worried crease appeared between his eyebrows. “Are you sure about this, Lise? What if your plan doesn’t work the way you think it will?”

  “Don’t be such a doomsdayer,” I said, slugging his arm as the bell rang. “What could possibly go wrong?”

  “He’s not coming,” I said, double-checking my watch for the hundredth time as I wobbled unsteadily on my skates. I’d asked Kyan and Viv to meet me at Revere Rink a half an hour early, just to be on the safe side. I scanned the snow-covered park with its charming white gazebo and ice-tipped trees. A dozen skaters were already on the pond, their scarves whipping merrily behind them as they spun on the ice. New England charm wasn’t something I saw much of back in Boston, although it was tough to enjoy it now with my nerves strung so tight.

  “You said noon,” Viv said distractedly, her head bent close to Kyan’s over his smartphone screen. “Omigod, this YouTube video on termites is unbelievable. Do you know they eat through wood twice as fast if they’re listening to Pink Floyd?”

  Kyan beamed proudly. He lit up every time she showed an interest in his world of bugs. And, surprising as it was, her interest seemed legit.

  “No, I didn’t,” I said, trying not to get annoyed that neither one of them seemed worried that Raj was still nowhere to be seen. But after another five minutes of them tête-à-tête-ing over termites, I was officially annoyed. “Hey, guys!” I said. “A little moral support, here?”

  Viv glanced up. “Okay, okay, sorry,” she said, nudging Kyan to get him to pocket his phone. “We’re a hundred percent here for you.” She smiled encouragingly and bent to pull on her ice skates. “It’s only twelve-oh-one, Lise. Trust me, he’s not going to give up the chance to meet his soul mate.”

  “Yeah, which one of you is playing that part again?” Kyan mumbled sarcastically.

  I was about to give him a scolding glance when I caught sight of Raj cresting the top of the hill. I grabbed Viv’s arm. “He’s here.”

  His curls were tumbling out from under his dark-green newsboy cap, and his untucked shirttails peeked out from under his corduroy barn jacket with a disheveled artistic charm. I smiled, my breath quickening, then immediately checked myself, remembering how he’d behaved in the pressroom.

  Who will he be today? I wondered.

  “He’s cute, Lise,” Viv whispered. “I never noticed before.”

  “Tell me about it,” I said. Then, with a drumming heart, I waved to him. He stopped midstride as he recognized me, confusion passing over his features.

  “Lise?” He walked closer. “Hi. Um, what are you doing here?”

  My spirits sank. He didn’t seem pleased to see me. Not even close. Was it because he thought I was the princess, and I wasn’t anything like he’d hoped I would be? A quiver of pain shot through my chest, but I pushed it away with a smile.

  “Hey,” I said. “Viv asked me to come with her to meet you.” I took a deep breath. “She’s …”

  “Your princess!” Viv said, giving a playful curtsy. “Surprise!”

  Raj’s expression morphed into a pleased perplexity. “Wow.” He gave a nervous laugh. “Viv? I never guessed, I mean …” He smiled. “You’re not who I expected.”

  “I hope that’s a good thing.” Viv smiled, putting a hand on her hip in a scolding, flirty gesture.

  “No, I mean, yes,” Raj stammered. “Yes, it’s a good thing.” He tilted his head quizzically. “Your hair looked so much darker that night at Swoonful.”

  “Of course.” Viv’s laugh was lilting and musical. “I forgot I was wearing a wig that night.”

  “Oh,” Raj said haltingly. “And your voice …”

  “She had a cough,” I blurted, remembering my hoarse throat on Valentine’s Day. “All better now!”

  “Right.” Raj fell into a stilted silence, glancing awkwardly at me and Kyan.

  “I asked Lise and Kyan to come skating with us,” Viv said smoothly, following his glance. “I was a little nervous about seeing you again.”

  “Really?” Raj said. “You don’t seem nervous at all.”

  Truthfully, she didn’t. She was exuding so much confidence that I could easily see where her modeling talent came from. She joked with him as he put on his skates, then slipped her arm smoothly through his to lead him onto the ice. She spun into the center of the rink, performing a flawless figure eight. Then she grabbed Raj’s hand and swooped under it in a twirl that made him laugh and spin her faster.

  “Come on, you two!” she called to Kyan and me as she and Raj breezed past. “While the pond’s still frozen!”

  Kyan gave me an uncertain glance, but I smiled to show him that I was fine with everything. Things were going exactly like I planned. Of course, that was until I slid onto the ice.

  Or fell onto it, rather.

  Ouch.

  “Are you okay, Lise?” Kyan asked, skating up next to me. He looked sort of like a scrawny scarecrow balancing on stilts.

  I planted my hands on the ice to hoist myself up to a standing position again. “I’m okay!” I said, embarrassed and praying that Raj hadn’t seen. “Just a little rusty.” I tried a simple glide and immediately landed on my backside.

  Kyan helped me up. “Just how rusty are you?” he whispered.

  I shrugged. “I haven’t had much practice on skates. Like … no practice, actually.”

  “And I thought I looked ridiculous.” He sighed, nodding his head toward Viv. “Just look at her. She would even be gorgeous picking her nose.”

  I wanted to argue with this declaration for the sake of cheering him up, but I glanced at her and knew he was right. Half the people on the pond had moved to the outskirts, admiring Viv’s graceful movements on the ice. She was laughing and talking with Raj while he skated beside her. He still looked slightly surprised, as if he couldn’t quite believe that she was actually the princess. But he was behaving like the perfect gentleman, holding her hands as they skated together, smi
ling as she playfully skated backward on the ice. And Viv was doing a fantastic job playing the role of princess. In fact, I couldn’t have done it better myself.

  A smidge of uncertainty nagged at my mind, but I pushed it away and shoved off across the ice. “Let’s catch up with them,” I called over my shoulder to Kyan, gaining confidence as my skates found a tentative rhythm. I gained speed as Raj and Viv grew larger in my sights. Maybe I could do this.

  I … I couldn’t stop!

  “Look out!” I screeched a second before I slammed into Raj.

  “Whoa there,” he said, catching me around the waist as my feet flew out from under me. I opened my eyes to see his smiling face, inches from mine. There was absolutely nothing jerky about his face right now. Nothing but … sigh … total dreaminess. “Are you all right?”

  “Um, yeah,” I said when I found my breath, straightening with a nervous laugh. “Sorry. I think my skates are broken.”

  “Yup, that must be the reason,” he said jokingly. “Here.” He held out his hand. “Follow me. You and your two left feet.”

  We slid a few feet from Kyan and Viv, my hand tingling as he eased me across the ice. “See?” he said. “You don’t need to try so hard.”

  “I’ll fall,” I said as he sped up a little.

  He grinned. “Then I’ll catch you.” He glanced down at my feet. “Smooth out your gliding, so it’s not so—”

  “Clunky?” I quipped, raising an eyebrow. “Like my writing?”

  A cloud of embarrassment passed over his face. “That may have been a little harsh,” he admitted quietly. “But I expect my writers to do their best work.”

  “You must have pretty high standards,” I said.

  “I do,” he said. “But I’m guessing you do, too.” He studied my face. “I read your other writing samples after your interview. There wasn’t a single typo in any of them. Maybe you’re a little bit of a perfectionist?”

  “Maybe,” I said grudgingly.

  “Then we’ll make a good team,” Raj said. “As long as you can handle my constructive criticism.”

  “I can,” I said staunchly, then added, “As long as there’s a valid reason for it.”

  “If it makes you feel any better, I’m my own worst critic. I’ve tossed tons of my own work before.”

  “Your articles?” I asked.

  “No. My artwork.”

  “Oh, yeah,” I said. “Viv told me how much you love art. So … why would you throw your work away?”

  He shook his head. “Sometimes I worry I’m not good enough to be able to really do something with it.”

  I gaped at him. “That’s ridiculous!” I cried. “Your art’s incredible!”

  He looked puzzled. “You’ve never seen it.”

  Oops. “No,” I said cautiously, hating that I had to lie. “But … from what Viv told me, I’m sure it is.”

  “Some people I know think it’s a waste.”

  “Really?” I said. “Who?”

  His brow furrowed, and he opened his mouth to say something else, but then Viv swooped in between us, laughing, with Kyan at her side.

  “Hey, guys, we’ve been out here forever,” she said. “How about we break for hot chocolate? My fingers are going numb.”

  “Here.” Raj took her hands, cupping them in his own, then gently blew on them. “Better?”

  My stomach dropped.

  “Yeah,” she said quietly, her voice lifting in surprise at the gesture. “Thanks.” She looked at him with a sudden shyness I’d never seen in her before, her cheeks blossoming into a blush. I felt a pang of jealousy, but just then my cell phone rang. When I saw Destry’s name on the caller ID, the jealousy was replaced by panic. I didn’t even need to pick up the phone to know why she was calling.

  “Oh, no!” I said, checking the time. “I forgot I’m supposed to help Destry paint the nursery. I’m an hour late!” I clumsily lurched off the rink with everyone following. “We’ll have to save the hot chocolate for another day.”

  Viv hesitated. “Or … the rest of us could stay,” she suggested, glancing at Raj, who was nodding enthusiastically.

  “I’m up for more skating,” he said, a little too quickly.

  “I’m out,” Kyan said, his face pinching. “I think the skates gave me blisters.”

  Raj looked at Viv, smiling bashfully. “It’s the two of us then.”

  The two of them. My heart gave a confused lurch as I watched them smiling at each other. It was tough to tell if Viv’s smile was part of the show she was putting on, or if she was genuinely happy. Suddenly, the last thing in the world I wanted was to leave the two of them alone together. But then Viv gave me a subtle nod and wink, as if she were saying, Go on. I’ve got everything under control.

  “Okay,” I said, reluctantly slipping into my boots and turning to Viv. “Call me later?”

  “Sure,” Viv said, but she and Raj were already waving as they headed for the snack shack at the edge of the pond.

  Kyan and I started for home together, but he couldn’t walk as fast as I needed to because of his blisters, so I finally said good-bye and took off at a jog, hoping to get home before Destry completely freaked. I didn’t think the odds were in my favor.

  My chest ached as the frigid air blew in and out of my lungs, but I wasn’t sure it was from the cold. Every time I thought about Viv alone with Raj in full flirt mode, the ache got stronger. I’d been so sure nothing could go wrong, and on the surface, nothing had. Viv and Raj had gotten along great. No, perfectly. And that, I thought with a sigh, could be a perfectly awkward problem.

  “You’re late!” Destry snapped when I walked into the nursery, out of breath and stripping off my coat and hat.

  “I lost track of time,” I said, picking up a paint roller.

  “Yeah, well, we’d better be finished by five.” She handed me a tray of paint. “I’m supposed to go bowling tonight with Jake, but your dad says I can’t until we’re done with this stupid project.”

  I nodded in agreement. The less time I had to spend in a confined space with Destry, the better. I headed for the corner of the room farthest from where she was working and began rolling the paint onto the wall. It fanned out in a pretty pale teal, and I smiled to myself. Gail had gone with my color suggestion after all. No wonder Destry was so grumpy.

  “Not like that,” she said, shaking her head at my work. “You’re using too much paint. See? It’s dripping down the wall.”

  I stepped back, my temper flaring. “I don’t see any drips.” I so did not need a lesson in room painting from her right now.

  She gave a disgruntled sigh. “Let me show you. Give me the roller.” She reached for it, but I instantly jerked back, and a thin stream of paint dribbled off the roller and onto Destry’s jeans.

  “Omigod!” she shrieked. “Look what you did! These are my favorite pair of jeans!”

  I stared at her, seeing red. Forget brushing it off. It was time to let her have it.

  “So what?” I said. “Your wardrobe could use a little downsizing anyway.” I flicked my wrist, and a spray of paint flew off my roller and splattered across the front of her shirt. “Oops.”

  Her mouth dropped open as fury purpled her face. “You,” she seethed, dipping a paintbrush in her bucket, “did that on purpose.” She flicked a fountain of paint from her brush, hitting me squarely in the face.

  I felt a moment of shock before I acted again.

  “And I enjoyed it!” I cried, grabbing my own brush and boldly slathering paint across her cheek. “I’m so sick of the way you treat me!” I added as she slapped her paintbrush down my arm.

  She screeched as I tossed the paint from my tray in a wave over her hair. Now we were both flinging paint blindly, splattering it across each other as fast as we could.

  “I never asked you to move in,” she cried, wiping paint from her eyes. “I never asked you to share my room. I never had a say in any of it! I hate it! I hate—”

  You. That was the word teetering
on her lips, I was sure. But she never got to say it, because Dad walked in.

  There was a clatter as Destry’s paintbrush dropped from her hand. Or, maybe the clatter was Dad’s jaw hitting the floor. I couldn’t be sure, but my bet was on Dad.

  “Ay meu Deus! What are you doing?” It wasn’t a question so much as a roar.

  The room looked like a paintball war zone.

  “It’s her fault!” Destry sputtered, turning on an impressive display of waterworks. “I was painting by myself because she was out with her friends. She forgot all about it, and then she finally shows up and dumps paint all over me!”

  “That is a lie!” I cried.

  “Stop!” Dad held up a hand, glaring at us. “I don’t care who did what. Both of you need to start thinking less about yourselves and more about your family.”

  “This … is not my family!” I cried, hurling my roller onto the floor as all the built-up frustrations of the last few weeks erupted. “It’s yours! And … and I don’t belong here! I never will!”

  A stricken look hit Dad’s face. Destry stared from me to him, the fury on her face deflating in awkward silence. I felt tears welling up in my eyes. I hadn’t meant to hurt Dad.

  “You’re both grounded until you fix this,” Dad finally mumbled wearily. “This nursery is going to look beautiful, and you don’t leave this house again until it does.”

  Dad left the room without another word, and before I gave Destry the satisfaction of seeing a single tear fall, I ran out, too.

  That night, I punched my pillow and flipped over, trying to get comfortable. The sad fact was that some couches were made for sleeping, and Dad’s and Gail’s wasn’t one of them. I sighed and burrowed deeper into the blankets, my stomach twisting as I replayed my fight with Dad in my head … again.

  After sitting through an abysmal dinner in which the only sounds were of silverware scraping plates and food being swallowed, Dad and Gail had left to go to a birthing class at the hospital. Then Destry and I had retreated to separate corners of the house.

  I’d set up camp on the couch in the den, because there was no way I was sleeping in the same room as Destry after everything that had happened. There was only one thing keeping me from calling Mom to beg for a ticket on the next plane to Switzerland: Raj. Every time I thought about his hands on my waist, catching me before I fell, a thrill went through me. I’d caught a glimpse of the same sweetness in him I’d seen that night at Swoonful. But he’d slipped into his know-it-all routine a few times, too. Even after skating, I was no closer to figuring him out than I had been before.