Abound in Love

by Rosemarie Naramore

  She had finally realized, after finding a frantic message on her cell phone from her boss she’d missed previously, that it was time to head home. She suspected her job might be in jeopardy if she didn’t make it back soon.

  Fortunately, she had learned she’d have an opportunity to talk to Candace this evening. Candace had called Thomas as he’d driven them home from church and told him she wouldn’t be going out for the night. Laura had taken the opportunity to ask her if the two could talk, when she arrived at Thomas’ to pick up the kids.

  Laura dashed downstairs, and practically collided with Dalton at the base of the stairs. “Where are you off to?” he asked. “I was going to ask you if you wanted to join me for lunch.”

  “Are Thomas and Macy coming?”

  “No, they’re heading over to Macy’s folks’ place.”

  “Oh, okay, well sure. I’d love to go to lunch.”

  “What sounds good?” he asked.

  She glanced down at her jeans and sweatshirt and made a face. “Well, I’m a bit underdressed for anything nice.”

  He smiled. “I’ll tell you what. I’ll go change into something less stiff and uncomfortable, and we’ll grab a burger. Does that sound all right to you?”

  “It sounds perfect.”

  Soon, Dalton came down the stairs, wearing jeans, a t-shirt with a soft drink logo on the front, and tennis shoes. A fleece jacked capped off the ensemble.

  “Ready?” she asked.

  “All set,” he replied with a smile. “Shall I drive? I’d like to, if you don’t mind.”

  “Actually, that sounds great. I’m so excited to see the sun, and I’d like to do some sightseeing.”

  Together in Dalton’s truck, Laura acknowledged to herself that she had a better view of the scenery around her from the height of the truck’s cab. It was also nice to actually relax and allow someone else to do the driving. She didn’t have the luxury of someone chauffeuring her around at home, and she found herself enjoying the slower pace of her hometown.

  When Dalton left Battle Ground and headed for Vancouver, Laura grinned. “Are we driving into Vancouver, since your occupation is well known in our hometown?”

  He acknowledged her words with a smile. “Well, no, but now that you mention it…”

  “Surely people in Battle Ground love you, and wouldn’t consider tampering with your food.”

  “I really would like to think so,” he said dubiously. “But the truth is, there’s a great burger joint just ahead, and it happens to be my favorite place. Best burgers on the West Coast,” he told her.

  “Well, considering that recommendation, I really can’t wait.”

  Inside the restaurant just awhile later, Laura glanced around, taking in the gleaming establishment that featured car-themed décor. “I can see why a man would like this place,” Laura observed with a mock-appreciative nod.

  “Okay, the décor is geared more toward men, but…” He raised a finger. “The food is excellent.”

  When they’d ordered, and their food was quickly put in front of them, Laura’s eyes widened. The burger was huge, thick, and looked delicious. Her mouth watered.

  “Dig in,” he urged, and then watched her face. When she closed her eyes, savoring the delicious burger, he smiled. “I told you.”

  “I may never go back to Georgia,” she teased.

  He fixed his eyes on her face. “Do you really have to?”

  “I don’t have to do anything,” she answered with a smile, which fled her face when she saw Dalton’s expression had grown intensely serious.

  “No, you don’t,” he agreed. “So why don’t you stay? Your family is here. Most of them anyway.” He leaned across the table, bracing his muscular torso with equally muscular arms. “We miss you,” he said softly. “We worry about you.” He sat up and flashed a smile. “Turns out, with good reason.”

  Laura took a deep breath, lest she say something she might regret. She didn’t need Dalton’s, or anyone’s, protection. Her Father in heaven kept a watchful eye on her.

  She met Dalton’s eyes and saw that he was watching her with a challenging gleam in his eyes. “Well?” he prompted. “Why don’t you stay? Lord knows, your brother and sister need you?” He ran a hand through his hair. “I…”

  She didn’t permit him to finish the thought, since she was reeling from frustration. “Is that it, Dalton? Is that why I’m wanted here? To pick up the slack when Candace doesn’t do her job as a parent again?”

  He leaned toward her again and pinned her with his eyes. “As I was trying to say…”

  She shook her head. “I can’t stay. I will talk to Candace and I will try to get to the root of whatever is bothering her, but that’s the best I can do right now.”

  Even as she said the words, she felt selfish. The faces of her niece and nephew popped into her mind’s eye, and her heart broke. She didn’t want to leave them. She wanted to be an aunt to them. She wanted be there for her siblings. But she couldn’t, since staying here would mean seeing Dalton on a daily basis, watching him living his life, and potentially falling in love with someone. And that someone wouldn’t be her. He would likely get married and have children, when she couldn’t even imagine herself with anyone but him.

  She shook her head. “I can’t stay, Dalton. I’m sorry, but I just … can’t.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  “What is going on with Dalton?” Thomas asked. It was evident to everyone that he wasn’t himself, as he stormed around the house, apparently in search of some misplaced item.

  Laura, who was sitting on the sofa and reading a book, shrugged in response. She just couldn’t tell her brother that Dalton was angry at her, because he considered her selfish and self-absorbed. He was furious that she wouldn’t remain in Battle Ground, in order to alleviate some of the family’s stress.

  On some level, she could understand his frustration. Perhaps she was being selfish. But her heart couldn’t handle seeing him on a day-to-day basis. Of course, he wouldn’t always be sharing a home with her brother, but would soon be buying his own place.

  He was only a year younger than Thomas. It was certain he would be looking for a wife with whom to start a family. He was simply too good with children, and too loving a person, to not want those things.

  And she wanted them too. With him. She gave herself a mental shake. Here she was, back home, and still as fixated on Dalton as she had been when she was a kid. She was pathetic.

  Lord, please take away these feelings for him, she prayed. Please help me to move on.

  If only she could do that and remain in Battle Ground. The errant thought startled her. Did she want to move home? Did she miss her family and friends enough to precipitate a move home? Could she live here and somehow subdue her feelings for Dalton?

  Oh, Lord, what did she want? She was overcome with misery, and was actually grateful when she heard Candace drive up. Now she would be forced to focus on someone other than herself.

  Dan had yet to drop off the kids, but that was probably a good thing. Laura didn’t want to risk them hearing her talking to their mother. Kenny was so sensitive, he could be hurt if he were to overhear something he might misunderstand.

  She soon heard a soft knocking on the front door. She rose to answer it, just as Dalton entered the room. He saw Laura had it covered, and spun on his heel and left. But not before he’d given her a look she hadn’t been able read. She’d seen some emotion there. Was it sadness? Remorse? Anger?

  She watched after him, but gave herself a shake. Buck up, she told herself. She needed to be composed enough to have a conversation with her sister—provided she would listen.

  When she asked her to step outside to talk, Candace nodded. She walked alongside Laura, a look of resignation on her face.

  The two sisters walked together to the old barn at the back of the family’s property. Glancing up and taking in the dilapidated structure, Laura thought better of going inside. But Candace surprised her when she walked in without fear
.

  Laura followed. Candace sat down on a bale of hay and watched her with questioning eyes. “You wanted to talk to me?”

  Laura nodded and swallowed hard. She didn’t know how to begin.

  “It’s okay, Laura. I’m prepared to listen to everything you have to say.” She gave a small smile. “If you want to call me every name in the book, that’s okay. I deserve it.” She gave a tremulous smile. “You can even hit me if you want to.”

  Laura shook her head, uncertain what Candace was thinking. “I’m not here to…” She stared at her sister’s face. “You thought I wanted to...?” She shook her head. “You thought I wanted to … cuss you out? Beat you up?” she said incredulously.

  “I deserve it.”

  “You apologized to me,” she pointed out. “You asked for my forgiveness.”

  “How can you forgive me? I was so horrible…”

  “How can I not?” Laura said, her voice barely a whisper. “You’re my sister. I love you.”

  Candace began to cry and dropped her face into her hands. She wept for a moment, but lifted her head when she felt Laura’s arm across her back.

  “It’s okay,” she soothed. “I’m not angry at you. Not anymore.”

  “But I hurt you…”

  “Yes, but it’s okay. I forgive you.”

  Candace took a shuddering breath and sought Laura’s eyes. “How do you do it? Forgive someone who’s done such awful things to you?”

  “Candace, we were kids when…” She sighed. “Besides, how can I expect God to forgive my sins, if I’m unwilling to forgive others?”

  She considered Laura’s words and finally nodded. “You’re a far better person than me,” she said softly.

  “No, Candace, I’m not. According to everyone, you changed. You’re no longer a…”

  “Pompous little pill?” she supplied with a humorless laugh.

  Laura answered her words with a smile. “I wasn’t going to say that. But what is important is that you aren’t that person anymore. I’m told you’ve been a wonderful mother to your kids, and a terrific wife to Dan. He loves you, you know.”

  “And I love him,” she said with an agonized cry. “So, so much.”

  Neither woman was aware that Dan had walked out to the barn, needing to find Candace, in order to connect with her about something related to the kids’ schedule the next day. When he heard Candace say she loved him, he felt as if he’d been punched in the gut, and he pulled back, his feet frozen beside that old barn…

  “I don’t deserve him,” she continued. “I never did.”

  Laura laid a gentle hand on her sister’s arm. “Candace, talk to me, please. I want to help you. Tell me, why do you think you don’t deserve Dan?”

  Her face fell and she began crying. “I lost his baby,” she moaned. “His baby boy…”

  “Candace, miscarriages happen. We don’t know why. Only God knows why some couples experience that heartbreak, but you have to trust that…”

  “I trust God!” she cried. “It’s not that…”

  “Then, Candace, what is it?”

  “His baby…” she sobbed.

  Laura didn’t have a clue how to soothe her sister’s pain. She prayed for the right words. “Thank the Lord that you two have two beautiful, healthy kids together. Candace, Dan loves those kids. He’s a wonderful father who knows he’s blessed. Trust me on that.”

  “But, that’s just it,” she moaned. “Kenny isn’t … his.”

  It was as if a dam burst. She began explaining, the words tumbling out, about how at age eighteen, during her senior year, she’d been at a party and had accepted a soft drink from a friend. She had no memory of the events after taking that cup, but had awakened to discover herself alone on a bed, with her clothing askew.

  She told Laura she had no recollection of having been raped, but knew something had happened from the condition of her clothes and body. She cried as she described the terror of the experience, of the unknown, wondering if she’d been subjected to a horrible disease. She said she hadn’t considered the possibility of pregnancy, until she’d actually missed a period.

  “Laura,” she cried, “I was an awful, awful girl. I admit that. My arrogance then astonishes me now, but… My body was my temple. I wasn’t going to…” She began crying again. “When I realized I was pregnant, my beliefs prevented me from…” She took a shuddering breath. “Laura, I was so scared and so alone. I didn’t know what to do.”

  “Oh, Candace, I can only imagine what you went through.” Laura felt her own tears begin to fall and her heart broke as she contemplated the misery Candace had experienced without her family beside her to offer support. Thankfully, she had retained her faith in God through it all.

  Candace watched her and reached for her hand. She pulled Laura close and held her hand against her heart. “Some boy did something awful to me, but then, I did something terrible in return. I…”

  She paused for a moment, as if the words she was about to speak were too painful to say. Laura nodded, encouraging her to unburden herself.

  “You see, I knew Dan loved me. Really loved me. Not long before that night, he had told me that he’d loved me since we were kids, and I…

  “What?” Laura prompted softly.

  “I took full advantage of that love.”

  Laura didn’t speak, but waited for her sister to continue.

  “I asked him out,” she said with a sad smile. “I … set him up. I figured, well… My virginity had been stolen, so why not?” She snared Laura’s gaze, her eyes moist with tears. “But Laura, I had to do something. I knew Mom and Dad were going to be so disappointed in me. I knew how people were going to look at me. I just … couldn’t bear it.”

  Laura nodded, understanding dawning. She squeezed her sister’s hand.

  “Anyway, I later told Dan he’d fathered my baby. I insisted he ‘do the right thing’ and drive us to the courthouse.”

  At the time, Laura remembered her parents talking about that trip to the courthouse. They had discerned the reason, as well, but hadn’t told Candace as much. Laura remembered being shocked that her sister wasn’t marrying in a huge ceremony, surrounded by friends and family, as had always been her plan. But then, she too had accepted the reality of those expedient nuptials. But as per usual, no one had been willing to confront Candace.

  “Laura, I love him so much. When I married him, I really didn’t know him well, and I was so messed up mentally from what had happened to me, that I didn’t know what love was. But Laura, it didn’t take long for me to fall deeply in love with him.” She smiled. “He’s the best man I know, and he loves our children with everything in him. He loves me with everything in him.”

  “So talk to him, Candace. Tell him what you just told me.”

  “I can’t.”

  “Candace, give him a chance.”

  “But don’t you see? I am giving him a chance—a chance for the life he would have had had, had I not stolen it from him.” She began to cry again. “Someone stole something precious from me, and I stole something precious from him. His freedom. His ability to choose a woman better than me. Someone who can give him a son. I love him so much, I have to set him free.” She gave an agonized cry. “He deserves better than me.”

  “There’s no one better than you,” a masculine voice said from the doorway. “And you’ve already given me the best son a man could ask for. I wouldn’t trade him for another son. Do you hear me, Candace? For any other boy.”

  Both Laura and Candace gasped.

  “Laura, may I talk to my wife, please?”

  She nodded and made as if to leave, but Candace held firm to her hand. “Please. Can Laura stay?”

  He hesitated, but nodded, and moved to stand several feet away from the sisters. He looked heavenward, as if looking to God for the right words. Finally, he spoke, “Candace, I know Kenny isn’t mine. I always have.”

  Her eyes widened in shock. She sunk even lower onto the bale of hay. Laura squeezed h
er hand, attempting to infuse her sister with strength.

  “You knew?” she said in a small, childlike voice.

  “Honey, if you’ll remember, I’ve always been good at math.”

  “But… I told you Kenny was premature…”

  He smiled sadly. “Sweetie, even back then, as a stupid kid, I knew it was unlikely a preemie could weigh in at over eight pounds. I’m afraid a nurse confirmed as much to me at the hospital, when our son was born.”

  Candace turned to Laura, her features locked in an expression of dismay. She turned back to face her husband. “Why didn’t you say something?”

  He gave a shrug. “Because it didn’t matter. Candace, I was beside you when my little boy came into the world. He was so precious, so perfect, and I just figured he completed our family. Besides, I loved you so much, that’s all that really mattered.”

  “You did?”

  “I still do.”

  He sighed, and shifted his feet, as if remembering something and bracing himself to say it. “And honey, I knew what had happened to you. I had heard a rumor and tracked it all the way to…” He paused, but gave himself a shake. “Anyway, I did find out who…”

  Candace squeezed Laura’s hand again and she squeezed back. They both watched Dan, each holding her breath in stunned anticipation.

  His body stiffened and he clenched his hands at his sides. “I have a confession to make.” He paused, searching Candace’s face. “I went after him, to make him pay.”

  Candace cried out. She had never known who had hurt her, and hadn’t known if she wanted to. She had always told herself if she didn’t know who had fathered her son, then he couldn’t show up and demand anything of her or him.

  “Oh, Dan. What happened?”

  “I showed up at his house. I guess I was going to…” He gave a shrug. “Well, I was going to beat him senseless for what he’d done to you, but you have to understand, it was a catch twenty-two. You see, I already loved our baby so much, and I was afraid of what his biological father might do. What if he demanded to see Kenny?”