Then There Was You

by Mona Shroff

  Annika grabbed what she could with her good hand and found herself clinging to a whole lot of biceps. Or steady rock, because that was what it felt like. Daniel pulled her up to standing, where she avoided the green gaze by checking her sari and all the surrounding area as if her very life depended on it.

  “Are you okay?” Sajan was at her other side.

  “Yes. I’m fine—just tripped over my own sari.” She flushed. “Not used to bhangra in a sari.”

  Sajan’s brow furrowed. “Maybe skip the dancing for a while? Until you’re healed.”

  “I’m fine.” She tried not to sound irritated, but really, she was a grown woman.

  “Sajan!” A hushed male voice called out to him, grabbing him and dragging him toward the groom. “We need you to guard the shoes.” Sajan nodded and left, leaving her alone with Daniel.

  The jaan had moved past them; the music changed to a more subdued yet still festive tune as the bride’s mother approached the groom to greet him.

  A tuxedoed server approached with deep-fried fritters as a snack, and Annika gratefully reached for one. Naya was standing next to her and reached for one, too. The girls looked at each other and automatically moved their heads from side to side. “Hot-hot.” They proclaimed and burst into giggles.

  Daniel took a fritter and raised it to them. “Garam-garam,” he said, and both girls promptly stopped their giggles to stare at him, astonished. He took a bite, then pointed to the door where Auntie approached and circled the groom’s smiling face with an herb packet.

  Annika finished her fritter and leaned toward Daniel. “She’s warning him. Giving him the option to leave now, with no further ramifications.” She started to explain, still looking at the groom. “It’s equivalent to ‘speak now or forever hold your peace.’ Because—”

  “Because if he crosses the threshold, he’s committed to marrying her daughter. There’s no turning back.” Daniel turned toward her.

  “That’s right.” Annika finally looked up at him, forcing her jaw closed. Who was this man? He was staring down at her the way he had right before he kissed her that night. She should look away, but he held her with his gaze as sure as if he’d been holding her in his arms.

  Cheering from the crowd snapped Daniel’s head around. “We’re going in.”

  They followed the procession of the groom with the bride’s parents leading him to the four-poster mandap, where the wedding ceremony would take place. The bride would enter once the groom was seated and blessed.

  They approached the mandap and the groom paused.

  “He’s going to have to take off his shoes,” Daniel whispered.

  “Yeah. I know.” Duh. How did he know?

  The groom would have to remove his shoes before entering the mandap, and someone from the bride’s side—usually a cousin or a sibling—would try to steal them in an effort to get the groom to pay up to get them back later. Members of the groom’s side were tasked with not letting that happen. It was one of many games played at weddings. Annika loved how the fun always balanced the solemnness of the occasion. It was like saying that, yes, marriage was a serious business, but don’t forget to enjoy life, too.

  “How do you know—”

  But before she could finish, he had grabbed her hand and taken a few steps toward the groom’s back. Sure enough, the groom stopped and slipped off his fancy slippers, and as he did so, two little girls no more than seven years old popped in from nowhere and made a grab for them. A teenage boy wearing the groom’s colors beat them to it and snagged the coveted shoes. But before he could tuck them away, another teen boy made a grab for them. He got ahold, but the groom’s boy did not let go. Both boys from opposing camps held strong to the shoes, their faces filled with determination, and pulling and shoving ensued.

  Annika’s heart jumped. The boys were starting to create a scene, which was not the purpose of the game. She started toward the boys to break them up before it escalated any further. Daniel got to them before she did.

  He laid a firm hand on each boy, towering over them. They froze.

  “Boys.” He spoke in a low whisper. “You know it’s way more fun if they get the shoes.” Daniel smiled at them, and the boys handed over the shoes, which Daniel promptly handed to the two little girls. They grabbed the shoes from Daniel and quickly flittered away just in case he changed his mind.

  “Thanks, Uncle!” The girls squealed in delight as they took off with the shoes. When they were far enough away, they turned around and stuck their tongues out at the boys who had been fighting.

  Daniel returned to her side. People who had been watching the spectacle returned their attention to the groom. Annika knew her mouth was open, but she couldn’t shut it. This man just kept getting more and more fascinating. “How do you know that?”

  “What?”

  “How do you know that it’s more fun when they get the shoes?”

  Daniel crooked a half smile at her. “Come on. You’ll miss the wedding.” He turned and waited for her.

  The priest had started his blessings for the groom. It would be a few minutes before they called for the bride. The man she’d come to know and just observed was not a creepy stalker. If he’d been in her room, there was a reason. Maybe it was time she found out. She caught Daniel’s eye and moved to the back of the room and out into the lobby as more guests entered the wedding hall. She found a small alcove with relative privacy and stepped into it. Daniel followed.

  She tilted her head up to him, her gaze sweeping over his mouth and landing on his eyes. She wasted no time getting to the point. “What happened that night, Daniel?”

  Daniel stared at her a moment, a war waging in his eyes. He shook his head and started to leave. “It doesn’t matter.”

  She reached out and grabbed his arm. “Yes. It does.” This time she gripped his eyes in hers. “It matters to me.”

  Once more she found turbulence in the flick of his eyes, the set of his mouth. He fidgeted, clearly having a disagreement within himself. He shook his head at her, and fear flickered in her belly. Had she lost him forever without an explanation ? His gaze landed on her hand on his arm, and he stilled and softened. She withdrew her hand, worried she’d overstepped her bounds, but his gaze lingered for a moment where her hand had been, and she considered for a moment replacing it. But the moment was gone.

  “Do you remember being carried to the wheelchair?” His voice was low and gravelly. She was forced to step closer so she could hear him, and she was instantly within some warm protective force of his. It was not unpleasant. “When you tried to check in?”

  She remembered being lifted and feeling secure, but the pain and her fear had been her main focus. She nodded, unable to stop looking at him.

  “That was me.” He sighed and looked away at something she could not see, as if asking permission to continue talking to her. “You told me your fiancé was parking the car.” He met her eyes again and continued.

  “My colleague Amy was assigned to you, but...I couldn’t stop checking on you. I heard the asshole break up with you right there in the ER as I was coming to check on you. I heard you scream, and I started to come in and see what had happened, when I saw you throw your engagement ring at him. When he emerged from your room clutching his eye, I was proud of you—which was very odd, because I didn’t even know you. But you were so strong, even in this horrible moment. It was incredible.”

  His eyes widened and he studied her face, and she knew the hardest part was yet to come. “I peeked in and saw you kneeling on the floor, your phone in your hand. You must’ve texted Naya. And then you crumpled into a ball. On the floor.” He stopped and fixed his eyes on hers, begging her to understand. “I couldn’t leave you there. I wasn’t even really thinking. I just knew I couldn’t leave you alone.” He took a deep breath and continued. “I picked you up to lay you in the bed, but you clutched my scrubs in your han
d and cried, as if letting go of me would undo you. I know how it sounds, but I just stood there, holding you, until you fell asleep in my arms. I couldn’t leave you. I didn’t want to leave you. Once you fell asleep, I laid you down on the bed. I was covering you with a blanket when Naya came in. She assumed I was your nurse, and I didn’t correct her.” He stopped and swallowed, his eyes never leaving hers. “I lost someone—”

  “Didi!” Annika started as Nilay stopped in front of them. He glanced at Daniel, then back at her. “Sorry, but, uh, the bride’s on her way.” He looked from one to the other. “Okay. Well, thought you’d want to know.” He made a hasty retreat.

  She gave Daniel a small smile. “You were saying?”

  He shook his head. “Never mind.”

  Silence floated thick between them.

  “How did you find me?” It was a whisper. He had taken care of her that night. He—his arms—that was the moment of peace and comfort she remembered. It was real. And it was him. She moved closer to him, her heart racing in her chest.

  “I did have the address to the bar—you put it on your intake form—but I didn’t come looking for you until we had that call that night. The truth is, I would have eventually, because I couldn’t get you out of my mind.” He sighed. “I’m sorry. I should have told you from the start. There’s no good reason for not having told you that.”

  She searched his face for the lie, but it wasn’t there. He opened his mouth as if he had something more to say, but he snapped it shut, as if a decision had been made.

  She had gone home with a vague feeling of having been safe for a time. It was because of him. He hadn’t told her, because it was outside of what his duties were. He had been there for her in her most dire time of need, in that moment of absolute despair, when she had been completely alone. But what had he suffered that he could recognize her anguish so clearly? He was so close, and he smelled of the outdoors mixed with traces of cologne.

  With her heels on, the top of her head was just above his chin. She tilted her chin up at him, searching his features for his secret, but all she saw there was the same struggle she’d watched him have earlier. The same struggle she’d had, as well. Time to put an end to it. Sajan might be the more practical choice, but her heart was choosing Daniel.

  A small voice told her this was not the place, but she ignored it. She shifted her gaze from his eyes to his lips, and she could have sworn she heard a small groan. Whether it came from her or from him she couldn’t even be sure. Their breath mingled in the scant space between their mouths. Before she could change her mind, she gave in to what she wanted, and placed her lips on his.

  That was all it took. Daniel seemed to lose his battle, and he pressed against her, his body already familiar to hers, as if they belonged together. He opened his mouth to her and kissed her with abandon. She melted into him, and thankfully he wrapped an arm around her, because she was certain she could not stand on jelly knees. She might have kissed him forever in that little alcove had not the sound of the dol startled them both back to reality. She jumped away from him again, as if she had been doing something wrong. But there had been nothing wrong with that kiss.

  She bit her bottom lip, still tasting him, and gave him a small smile. “Where’d you learn to dance like that?”

  His lips were swollen from her kiss, and maybe he wore a hint of her lipstick, but his smile was relaxed, if far from satisfied. Amusement colored those green eyes; mystery framed his smile.

  “What are you doing next weekend? I’ll show you.”

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  DANIEL

  BALLOONS FLEW FROM the mailbox, a clear indication that a party was happening. Annika refused to ride on Daniel’s bike, so they had taken her car. As she parked in the street in front of the house, a huge bouncy castle in the backyard came into view, and loud music blared from somewhere. Daniel’s stomach clenched and sweat formed on his upper lip. He inhaled deeply and reached over to squeeze Annika’s hand. Her smile sent instant ripples of calm through his body, settling his stomach, his heartbeat returning to normal.

  They exited the car to an unseasonably warm afternoon for late November. It was as if the weather gods had decided to gift Daniel’s nephew, Charlie, a warm day for his birthday party.

  Daniel took Annika’s hand again as if it were the most natural thing in the world. He was light with feelings he had suppressed for the better part of five years. Annika was about to meet his family, and he couldn’t think of anything he’d rather be doing. Except for maybe being alone with her. Hopefully there’d be plenty of time for that in the future. He almost laughed out loud at himself. He hadn’t thought about the future in the last few years, either.

  A small voice in the back of his head nagged him, threatening to ruin his light feelings: he hadn’t yet told Annika about Sara. Among other things. It wasn’t time yet, he told that voice. He didn’t want her to be with him because she felt sorry for him. Her feelings had to be real.

  She seemed to have forgiven him for the ER, but at the sight of the balloons and the bouncy house, her face became panicked.

  “Daniel, I know you said we were meeting your family.” She swallowed. “But I was thinking a casual coffee, maybe lunch.” Her eyes were wide as she turned to face him. “But this looks like a family function—a party.”

  “It is.” He nodded. “I thought it would be easier—you know, the focus would be spread out.”

  She inhaled deeply, weighing this. “Yes. Okay. Makes sense.” She nodded vigorously. “Let’s do it.”

  “It’ll be fine.” He pulled her closer to his side. “You’ll see.”

  This didn’t seem the right time to tell her that he hadn’t brought a girl home since Sheila. The truth was, even though he didn’t have any idea what he was doing with Annika, the only way to explain himself was for her to meet his family. Not to mention if he was going to see his nephew, it would help to have Annika at his side. He was already calmer just having her here.

  Hmm.

  “About time we saw you, live and in person.” Emma walked out of the house before he reached the door and trapped him in a hug.

  “Yeah, sis. I missed you all, too,” Daniel whispered. Guilt, sharp and intense, shot through him when Emma finally let him go, her eyes shiny with tears. “Aw, Em. Don’t.”

  She waved him off and turned to Annika. “Emma,” he said, “this is Annika. Annika, my big sister, Emma.”

  Annika smiled at Emma and held out her hand, but Emma pulled her in for a hug. Shock sprang to her face, but she seemed to recover quickly and returned the hug. His sister’s eyes were still wet when she released Annika. “I’m sorry,” she sniffled. “But Danny hasn’t been to a birthday in—well, a long time.”

  Daniel rolled his eyes and shoved his hands into his pockets. “Jeez, Em. Can we not do the ‘Danny’ thing?” He looked around. They still stood on Emma’s front porch. Clearly, she had wanted a minute with him before everyone else got to him. “Where is he, anyway?”

  As if in answer, a dark-haired blue-jeaned blur whooshed up and stopped in front of Emma. “Hey, Mom. When are we cutting the cake?”

  Daniel’s heart was beating too fast; he felt the blood drain away from his head. This—this grown-up little boy could not be his nephew. Had that much time passed? Annika leaned toward him, probably because he looked like he was going to pass out. But when he looked at her, her concern was laced with confusion.

  “Emma’s right. I haven’t been to a birthday party in a while.” That was all the explanation he could muster right now.

  There had been an incident. It was the first birthday after Sara. Emma had made him come to the party because it had meant a lot to young Charlie to have his uncle there. A little girl who looked just like Sara—at least the brown curls and blue eyes part—had asked Daniel to cut her a piece of cake and Daniel had frozen. Emma had had to convince him that the li
ttle girl was not his Sara. Ever since then, he avoided groups of children. Until this birthday party. Until Annika.

  Emma was talking to her son. “Soon, don’t worry. Charlie, I have a surprise for you.”

  Charlie’s eyes lit up, and he did a little jig. “What?”

  “Look who came to your party.” She turned him to face Daniel. “Uncle Danny is here.”

  Charlie narrowed his eyes as if trying to place Daniel, but, as Daniel had anticipated, recognition never lit up his face.

  The young boy held out his hand and plastered a polite smile to his face. “Nice to meet you, Uncle Danny.”

  Daniel’s heart broke a little more. He had changed this boy’s diapers, stayed up nights with him. He had played with him, given him his first soccer ball, and here he was, ten years old, offering to shake his hand as if he were a stranger. What had he done, staying away for so long? Not that he hadn’t seen his sister and his parents. It was Charlie he avoided.

  Daniel’s hand shook even as he offered it to Charlie. Considering the furtive glances from his sister, and the continued quizzical look on Annika’s face, he wasn’t doing a good job of hiding his anxiety. “We’ve met before.”

  “I’m sorry, I don’t remember.”

  “Well, it’s been a while, and I’ve been away.” Daniel forced out the words as he studied his nephew. “The last time I saw you, you were five. And only about this big.” He held his hand low to the ground. “Not nearly the grown-up boy I see here.” Tears pricked at his eyes, but he forced them back. “I hear you’re a pretty good soccer player. Maybe we could catch a game?”

  Charlie’s eyes lit up. “That would be awesome!”

  Daniel grinned, finally feeling the warmth of the sun. “It’s a date. I’ll get us tickets.” Annika placed a hand on his shoulder, offering support, though she couldn’t even know why. He relaxed under her touch.

  “Can I go, Mom? Huh? Can I?” Charlie nearly bounced with excitement.

  “Of course. Now go see to your friends. Cake in ten minutes.”