by Joanne Hill
“Maybe she went out the other exit,” the woman commented.
Jack froze. “The what?”
“The other exit.” She pointed. “It’s just around the corner.”
Jack took James’ hand and walked quickly around the corner.
He stopped and stared, and inside, nausea rolled in his gut. There was a second exit.
He stared at the people going in and out.
A second exit.
And there was no sign of Ruby. Anywhere.
Robyn was five minutes early but Eric had had enough of the horse jumping. What he wanted now was his own horse.
She didn’t think it likely his mother would be able to afford that kind of hobby but she knew little about her. Still, maybe Jack could help out, and they could go horse-riding while he was still here. She’d have to have a word to Jack about it.
She stopped in front of the hot dog pavilion, and her stomach grumbled. The smell of tomato sauce and mustard and onion and hot dog was delicious. She had muesli bars and fruit in her bag.
“What do you want to see next?” she asked Eric.
He screwed up his face. “I’m starving. I want something to eat.”
“I know what you mean.” She reached in her bag, and pulled out a muesli bar. “Have this.” He took it with thanks, they binned the wrapper and he munched away.
Suddenly, he pointed, “There’s my dad.”
She followed his pointed arm to see Jack walking quickly towards them, holding James as they both seemed to be searching. At one point, he stopped, then he moved towards them.
Robyn looked for Ruby. She was probably holding on to Jack’s jacket, following behind.
Jack reached them, took a deep breath, his pallor alarming.
Robyn frowned. “Is something wrong? You look-”
“I’ve lost Ruby.” His voice was thick.
“Sorry?” She glanced around. Ruby wasn’t here?
“She got lost in the toilet,” James put in. “She went out the wrong door.”
“We’ve looked everywhere. I’ve asked women to check. I can’t find her. There were two exits and I was waiting at the other one.”
“Okay.” Panic made her breathe faster. “Okay.”
She waited a second for her thoughts to clear, for the worry to subside. This had happened before but it was normally James who went missing. “Okay. We should split up to find her. She can’t have gone far. She’s probably sitting down somewhere...”
Jack said, “I’ll take Eric, you take James. We’ll go back to the toilet block and spread out from there.”
He led her, guilt ripping through him with every step; every child he saw safe and secure with a parent.
How was he to know there were two exits? How many other parents had suffered the same shock?
Or was it just him.
“That’s the toilet block,” he said as they approached it. He beckoned to the pavilion next door. “I’ll go that way to look.”
She nodded, her gaze skittering over the crowd. “I’ll head back.”
“We need to meet back here.”
“We’ll meet back here in twenty.”
He reached out and squeezed her shoulder. She felt like ice. Or was that just the feeling in his hand? “We’ll find her, Robyn. She can’t have gone far. No security guard is going to let a child walk out.”
“I know.” In spite of her words the color of her face said she was worried. The place was crowded and Ruby must be so scared, lost and alone. And unsafe.
“There’s a lost children’s area, I’m not sure where it is, over by the sheep shearing expo somewhere. I’ll check there, see if they can put an announcement out over the loudspeaker.”
He nodded, released his grip. “We’ll find Ruby.”
Jack had never felt so useless. So completely useless. It hadn’t eased when a voice over the loudspeaker announced a little girl was missing, and gave Ruby’s description. As he scanned the crowds, he realized just how popular denim jackets and pink skirts were with girls, and his hopes sunk.
“There she is,” Eric suddenly yelled, and Jack spun around to see a woman holding Ruby. Ruby was sobbing, her face red and wet.
Relief ripped through his body as he ran towards her, Eric in tow. She saw him and her arms went out as she cried, “Jack. ‘Ric.”
“I found her standing looking at the pictures,” the woman said, gesturing to a stand she was manning. “She wouldn’t tell me her name but I thought she fitted the description of the little girl that just came over the loudspeaker. I was waiting for my colleague to come back so I could take her over to the lost children shed.”
“Thank you, thank you,” Jack repeated, as he took Ruby. His heart swelled. “Thank you, so much.”
“I got losted,” she cried, as she burst into tears. “I came out of the toilet and you were gone.”
Her arms went around Jack, her wet face buried against his neck as she sobbed, “I want Mommy.”
“I know, Rubes, I know.” He thanked the woman profusely, and made a mental note of her name badge, and that she was with the animal protection stand.
“Thank you again,” he told her.
She waved his thanks away with a smile. “Just glad she’s safely back with her dad.”
Her dad. “Stick close by, Eric,” he told his son, as they turned and went back to the pavilion where they’d arranged to meet. How did women do it, he wondered, his arms around Ruby, constantly checking Eric was still with them.
Ruby gradually stopped sobbing and he felt her look up and around. Her face was still red and tear stained. His neck was wet, too. She gave a last sob.
I did this to you, he thought, holding her tighter. She protested and wriggled to be let down.
He let her down, and grabbed hold of her hand tight. “Do not let my hand go and we’ll see your mommy in a minute.”
She hiccoughed and as they arrived at the stand, he turned, anxious for any sight of Robyn, anxious to not let her misery last a second later.
His thoughts raced in time to the frantic pounding of his heart. Ruby needed her mom, not some man who couldn’t keep tabs on her. Robyn had the mother thing down pat. His mind flicked back to the night Eric arrived and how natural it had been for her. They'd helped him unpack and at the bottom of his case had been a worn teddy bear he'd called Dudley. He’d been visibly embarrassed about having a soft toy, but in seconds Robyn had eased his discomfort by speaking to Dudley - it would never have crossed his mind to do that. With each second, Eric had dropped his reserve, until a smile had lit his face. It was an understatement to say she had a way about her but she did. A way that was calming, and it wasn’t just there in the words she spoke, it was her.
He heard her voice. “Oh, thank God”, and she bent down to hug her daughter. Ruby let go of his hand. After a second, he shoved it into his pocket. It was cold.
“Thank God you’re okay,” Robyn murmured, and Ruby burst into tears again.
“It’s not your fault Ruby,” Jack said, as Ruby looked up at him through teary eyes. “It’s mine, I’m sorry.”
“It’s no one’s fault.” Robyn stood up then, relief written all over her face. “It was a – a difficult situation. It happens to parents the world over, all the time.”
He rubbed his hand through his hair, frustration grinding into him. It was only going to the toilet for goodness sake. He oversaw a business, employed people who depended on him for their livelihood. It was only going to the toilet. And the stress had nearly killed him.
“It happens,” she told him. “There are six other parents over at the center who managed to lose their kids.”
She was trying to make him feel better. He had the feeling if she wasn’t holding her children’s hands so tightly, she’d have patted him on the back and murmured, “There, there, Jackie.”
And he wouldn’t have minded.
“I’m hungry,” James announced.
“I think we might all be,” Jack said, although the last th
ing he wanted to do was eat. A stiff drink, though... The last half hour had left him more exhausted than a gym workout.
“There’s a place out by the show jumping,” Eric suggested. “They had coffee.” His voice halted a moment. “My mom likes those kinds of places.”
Robyn gave his shoulder a quick squeeze. “He’s right. There’s a café there. Lots of tables, and the coffee smelt lovely.”
“Sounds perfect. How about you lead the way Eric? And it’s my treat. Whatever you want to eat.”
Robyn relinquished her hold on James so he could walk with Eric but they all stayed close. After a minute, Ruby ran to join the other two, trying to butt into their conversation.
“Back to normal,” Robyn said.
Color had returned to her cheeks, laughter to her face. But it had been a hideous moment.
How had she coped on her own?
She looked up to meet his gaze. “Stop worrying,” she said perceptively.
“It’s hard not to,” he said.
“I told you before, this kind of thing happens. It’s part of being a parent. Which you are now.”
He focused ahead trying to ignore the fruity scent of her perfume, the heat of her body alongside his.
That was the point. He’d been a parent all of one week and lost a child that wasn’t even his.
It only made him understand just how he wasn’t cut out to be a father. Not now. Not ever.
CHAPTER TEN
By the time they got home, they had forgotten all about Ruby going missing, and the focus had moved on to Muppet and whether they could all live on a farm.
The conversation drifted over to the following morning, but for Jack, the incident over Ruby was still there, lurking, tormenting him. The look on her face when he'd found her; his own panic at losing her. Robyn trying not to blame him for what had happened.
At work, he found himself struggling to concentrate and was grateful for a brunch meeting he and Colette had arranged with the managers of his out-of-town branches.
They were running late as they walked out of the building onto Broadway, Newmarket's main road, and Colette didn’t help by announcing, “You look like crap.”
“It will please you to know I feel it.”
“A tough night at the Fletcher family residence?”
He shoved his hands in his pockets as they walked down Broadway towards the retail and café area. In two minutes they were due to meet the managers who’d traveled up to Auckland for what Jack hoped would become an annual event for them. They would talk shop over a big breakfast and coffee, the men and their wives would spend the day touring Waiheke Island, a thirty minute ferry ride away, and later tonight they'd all meet up for dinner at the restaurant at the Hilton. When the trip had been arranged, Charlotte had been his partner. Now he was going solo. No doubt his managers had gotten over the disappointment, though it struck him as interesting the wives had been the ones keen to meet Charlotte.
He focused back on Collette. “It was a tough day.” He didn't mention Ruby, although no doubt Collette would recount parental horror stories designed to make him feel better.
“So how is Eric doing?” They paused at lights and she added, “You realize you don't talk about him much?”
Yesterday's outing had broken more ice but there was still a barrier there, a reserve. On both sides. “I think he's okay. Misses his mom a lot.” He let out a deep breath. “On the plus side, getting a live-in nanny was a terrific idea. He likes the twins and they seem to like him.”
She gave a short laugh. “May it last. Two's company, three's a crowd you know.” They crossed the road and he sighted the café up ahead. She went on, “You often get two ganging up against one. Happened with me and my siblings all the time.”
He shook his head. “I haven't seen it. But then I'm hardly around. That's kind of the idea of hiring a nanny.”
“What about your family?” she said.
He glanced sideways at her. “My family?”
“Your family. You have parents. Brothers and a sister? They live up north in Kopane? Remember?”
If she was trying to be funny, it wasn't working. “What about them?”
“For starters, wouldn't they like to meet their grandson? You could take him up there, and show him parts of Northland along the way.” They sidestepped a couple of chatting Remuera ladies. “Sounds like a good bonding exercise all round.”
Bonding. The word made him squirm. “I don't think so, Collette.”
“Why not?” She looked perplexed. “They're Eric's family, too. Jack. If I found out one of my kids had a long-lost child, I'd want to meet him or her.”
They'd reached the café and he saw two of his branch managers were already inside, a waitress setting two cups of coffee between them. Good.
He was about to walk inside when Collette touched his sleeve. There was a quizzical look on her face and he registered the confusion in her eyes. “I'm serious, Jack. Don't you think it would be good for him to meet this new family of his while he's got the opportunity?”
Her green eyes were looking straight at him, as if daring him, as if knowing full well he was going to say no.
“No.”
“But Jack...”
“Collette. No.”
She removed her hand. “Most people would want to know their grandchildren.”
And there it was. Most people.
Because his folks were not 'most people'.
They were his people. And while he'd alluded to his upbringing, he had never come close to telling Collette the truth. She didn't need to know. Nor did his staff need to know beyond his classic rags to riches story.
So, yeah, dragging an innocent seven-year-old kid to witness for himself what kind of blood he had running through his veins was not going to happen.
Sage had offered to take the children – all three of them – to the zoo since they were still talking about Muppet and the other animals.
She was bored, she told Robyn. Harriet was away for the weekend on a study trip and the house was so quiet, she was going crazy.
She pulled up just after ten, a basket of food and drink on the seat beside her in the van.
Jack had followed Robyn out, but he paused on the steps with Ethan. Ethan had dropped in and the two had spent much of the past few minutes deep in conversation. Sage inhaled sharply at the sight of Ethan and Robyn glanced back at Jack. She'd caught snippets of the conversation, and had gathered that Brad had gone around to see Emily and Emily had taken a step backward. They were worried.
Jack has also overestimated the time he had planned to spend with his son and there was now less time than she'd imagined to work on her collection. On the plus side, she had a professional website close to completion, and the photos taken of Ruby and James modeling the collection looked professional, thanks to digital photography - and bribes to go to McDonalds.
“That guy,” Sage jerked her head towards Ethan. “He's the one who tried to run me over with that disgusting truck.”
“That’s Ethan.”
Sage narrowed her gaze at him. From the porch he made eye contact with her then rolled his own eyes. “I wouldn’t trust him. His eyes are too close together.”
“They're not, and you're nuts. You don't even know him.”
“Oh, I know the type.” Her gaze narrowed further as Ethan laughed at something Jack had said then just as quickly, they became serious.
Robyn called Ruby and James, who were arguing on the step, and said, “Ethan's been a good friend to Jack over the Charlotte and Brad thing.”
His only friend, she saw now. He'd drop by, throw his keys on the counter, threaten Mrs Parker with romance, and chat with Eric about his ice hockey team. In fact, he talked to Eric more than Jack did.
The twins finally came down the porch and Sage shepherded them into the van. “Where’s Eric?”
“Phoning his mum.” Robyn glanced up behind them. “Here he comes now.”
Eric walked slowly out of the house a
nd down the steps, right past Jack and Ethan, quiet, contemplative. Maybe a little too quiet.
“Is everything okay, Eric?” Robyn asked him as he approached.
He nodded, but his body language told a different story. There were moments he was homesick, and others where he was just a normal kid, enjoying a holiday.
She glanced up as Jack joined them, hands in his jeans pockets.
Eric climbed into the van, and inside James announced, “Sage’s more cooler than my mom,” which progressed into a yelling match between James and Ruby over who Eric got to sit next to. She buckled them all in and Jack said, “Sage, I've got some cash for food.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out some notes.
“No.” Sage shook her head. “Honestly, I’ve got tons of food, a family pass to get in to the zoo, bread to feed the ducks at Western Springs so we’re sweet.”
She shot a final glance at Ethan who was leaning against the house, talking into his phone. Then she hopped into the van and slammed the door.
With a few toots on her horn, she was off down the drive, and away down the street.
The sound of the van's engine faded, and Robyn remembered the look on Eric's face; she said to Jack, “Did you speak to Val?”
“Yeah.” Worry lines creased his forehead. “She’s got the flu, she didn’t sound like her normal self. Eric sensed it.”
Ethan came down to meet them, and said, “I'm heading back home to check on Emily. She needs more groceries.” He jerked his head at Jack. “And you are long overdue to do a shop.”
“She's still not getting out?” Robyn said suddenly.
Jack crossed his arms over his chest. “Her mother took her for coffee when she was here but they were back half an hour later. She's just so paranoid people are talking about her. This whole thing...” He shook his head but the concern was etched across his forehead. “Anyway we're taking it in turns shopping.”
Ethan said, “Neither of us like shopping, especially for a pregnant woman. I'd online shop but they don't deliver to the boondocks.” He threw her a quizzical look. “Say, Robyn, why don't you come out with Jack? Come out to my place now, while you're kidless. Meet Emily.” His eyes gleamed with inspiration. “Seeing another female might be good for her. Heaven knows she's getting sick of us.”