by Joanne Hill
Silence drew out between them.
“Can we —” She stopped herself short. Be friends. See each other.
Of course not. How could she be around him with these feelings? She needed to be away from him, to give the feelings time to die down and go away, and she would do it. She’d lost her feelings for Edwin remarkably quickly.
She could do it with Jack.
Her insides felt as if they were seizing up. Did she honestly know what she was doing?
The look he gave her nearly broke her heart. He turned to his son. “Come on, Eric.”
“Can we get pizza?” Eric asked.
“Yeah,” Jack said in a low voice, “we’ll take some home with us.”
Robyn watched, dazed, as they walked to the door; Eric glanced back at her confused and tired.
Yes, she loved Eric, too, but it wasn’t about him, or Ruby and James. It was about her. Her ability to trust after she’d been belittled and hurt, to believe that Jack did love her. Her ability to be the woman she desperately wanted to be.
To prove to Kelly, her parents, and even Edwin that she wasn’t the failure they thought she was.
Had they ever said she was a failure?
Jack was looking at her and for a moment her mind went blank.
Who had ever told her she was a failure? The unsettling thought began to swirl around her.
“Thanks for seeing me,” he ground out.
An ache began in her heart.
Jack stepped out the door with Eric and he didn’t, not even for a second, look back.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Jack finished off his burger as he watched Eric race around the playground in the restaurant. Takeaways were getting to be a habit, which did not impress Mrs Parker at all. Pizza when they’d left Robyn’s yesterday and today hamburgers. Eric seemed to be okay for the overindulgence of junk good and had joined in with a group of other boys about his age. At least he didn’t seem to have a problem making friends. Maybe that was something to do with being an only child and moving around the way Val had. He couldn’t rely on much in the way of stability and he’d learnt to make his own fun because he had no choice. Jack took a few fries, dipped them in the ketchup. On the plus side, school holidays had started today so he had two weeks to get his son’s life sorted before the new term.
“Dad’s day out?” a female voice next to him said.
He glanced across at the woman nursing a baby in her arms. She was in her thirties, pretty but frazzled.
“Something like that,” he admitted. He screwed up his wrapper, and she said, “I’m sorry, you look vaguely familiar. Do your kids go to the Heights school?”
“No. I’ve got just one child, my son, Eric.” He was still getting used to saying that, knowing that it was the reality, that it was no longer a short term thing. He pointed Eric out, and added, “He’s just moved here to live with me, so I haven’t figured out the schools yet.” He held out his hand. “I’m Jack.”
If she recognized him, her eyes didn’t show it. She shook his hand. “Amanda.” She paused. “If your local school is the Heights, I recommend it. I’ve got two kids there. A lot of families around here go private but honestly, the Heights is great.”
A recommendation was good since he was doing this blind and while he could afford to send Eric to the best private school in the country, he didn’t want that. Normal was what his son needed. “I’m meeting with the principal this week and so far, I think it will suit Eric just fine.”
The baby began to fret and she jiggled him. “My husband Jeff is on the board of trustees, so if you want to know anything, his email is on the school website. Feel free to drop him a line.”
He nodded his appreciation. “I might do that. Thanks, Amanda.”
She smiled and turned away when she suddenly faltered. Her gaze zeroed in behind Jack and her mouth dropped open.
Ethan was striding between the tables and plastic trays and he gave a visible shudder as he approached. People stared. It never ceased to amuse Jack how a few more inches in height and on his shoulders made him stand out.
“What the hell is this?” he muttered under his breath.
Jack shrugged. “This is my new life.”
“New life.” Ethan sank down on to the table and buried his head in his hands. “You and me both. It’s doing my head in.” He shivered. “So where’s Eric?”
Jack beckoned to Eric as he waved.
Ethan nodded. “He looks okay.”
Ethan hungrily grabbed what was left of Jack’s fries. “So she turned you down, huh?”
Jack nodded. The heaviness was there. Grim and ready to pounce.
“I don’t know what else you expected,” Ethan remarked. “You come back with your boy and lay that on her. Hell, I’d turn you down, too.” He reached over for Jack’s drink, pulled off the plastic lid and gulped down the lot.
“You want another one of these?” He glanced back to the counter. “I’m going up to order. I’m starving.”
“One for Eric. He looks like he’ll need one soon with all that running around.”
“Done.” Ethan strode over to the counter, pulling his wallet out of his back pocket as he gave his order.
Jack pulled out his phone, his thumb hovering over Robyn’s number.
Ethan was right of course. He’d gone around it wrong, had figured just because he needed her, that she would want him.
He glanced over at Eric. To an extent taking Eric had been about helping Robyn make up her mind, that her seeing Eric, this poor child having to learn life all over again without his mother, would swing it. She might not love Jack completely for himself but the kids were the trump card.
It had backfired monumentally.
Had he wanted her because he’d got used to there being people and things and stuff in the house?
No. If it was just that, he’d throw a few pink stuffed toys around.
He wanted her because he loved her. Everything about her. He just had to find a way to make her believe that.
Had to figure out a way to show her because, man, he missed her like he’d never missed anyone in his life.
Have faith in yourself Jack. You don’t need your wealth or your kid or anything else. All you need is to make her believe in you.
Ethan suddenly slid into the seat, and ripped the foil wrapping from his burger and pushed a large soda towards Jack.
“I can’t stay long. Got a date with Sage.” He chomped into the burger and groaned with pleasure. “We’re going out for dinner.”
Jack stared at the huge burger and giant fries. “Sounds civilized.”
“There is nothing civilized about it. The place is vegan.” He spat the word out.
Jack did a double take. “How did she manage to get you to agree to that?”
“It’s called compromise, my friend.” Ethan grinned as he reached for his drink, and a fierce light gleamed in his eyes. “We’re going in the Hummer.”
The function had dragged miserably and by the time her colleague had dropped her home Robyn’s feet were aching.
She had worked hard all night, but her mind hadn’t been on the job. As she’d cleared tables and washed wine flutes, her mind had been on Jack.
And her own stupidity.
Because if anyone was accusing her of being a failure it was her. She was the one.
Yes, her parents had moved overseas to be with Kelly. And could she blame them wanting a better climate for their retirement years? Yes, Kelly had said she thought Robyn was crazy starting up her fashion business, but then, Kelly had never shied away from giving an unwanted opinion.
But even then, why did she let her older sister’s opinion matter so much anyway, and wasn’t Robyn being crazy starting this business? She had little behind her to make anyone think this could work except her own dreams and determination.
Her parents had never said blatantly they thought she was a failure. Unlike Jack’s folks who had told him over and over and over again.
Y
es, her parents were disappointed.
She shoved her hands despondently in her coat pockets as she walked up the drive to her house. Well, sheesh, if it was Ruby, wouldn’t she be absolutely gutted for Ruby that her dream had gone up in smoke?
She grimaced at the surge of grief that ripped through her. On top of that, the whole night had been one monumental reminder of Jack. The meal had been identical to the one on the menu at the charity auction, and there had been familiar faces from that night as well. Every time she walked through the hall, she zeroed in on the table where Jack had sat.
She loved him. She wanted to be with him.
He had offered her that chance.
He had said he loved her and she had thought he was just saying it because of Eric. And maybe he was.
Could she live with that?
She set the key in the lock and turned it.
She pushed it open and stepped inside.
Her heart stilled as she saw Jack on the couch. She blinked rapidly to clear her vision.
He glanced at his watch. “You’re late.”
“What...” She almost stumbled as she closed the door behind her.
She half expected him to get up but instead, his gaze settled on her with an intensity that made her squirm. He leant further back, and clasped his hands casually behind his head.
This is a dream. She’d just been thinking about him. Moping over him like a lovesick teen. Clearly a dream.
She bent down, untied her laces, and slipped off her shoes. The relief was bliss, even though twinges of pain still shot through her feet. The night had not only been long but they’d been short staffed and her feet had taken a real battering.
She glanced warily up. Jack was still there in his black t-shirt and his jeans, and that flat stomach and all those muscles on that tall physique. Not dreaming after all. She could barely think and she said, “Where’s Harry?”
He beckoned down the hall and she realized there were muted voices. “She’s in the twin’s room. Eric, too.“
It had gone midnight. “Are they all awake?”
“They are.” He stood up, and walked towards her. “Harriet squealed. Or maybe it was a scream. Whatever it was, it woke them up.”
“Why did she scream?”
He stopped in front of her but he was taking up her space, taking up the oxygen, making it hard for her to breathe.
It was as if he was touching her, but his hands were in his trouser pockets. “She screamed because I told her I wasn’t leaving here until I had you promise me that you would at least think about marrying me because I love you.” His voice lowered, his eyes glittered. “And because you love me.”
Her throat had gone painfully dry. Was he really giving her a second chance? She hadn’t blown it and he was asking her again? “You told her that?”
“I said you’d turned me down once already, and Harry said, “She didn’t,” and I assured her that in fact you had. And then she screamed.”
The door suddenly opened and Harriet thrust her head out. Her eyes widened at Robyn and she said in a loud whisper, “I thought I heard voices.”
She gave an exuberant thumbs up to no one in particular and the door shut.
A smile, a wicked smile, curled Jack’s mouth but there was still the hint of nerves there, still an edge that said he wasn’t sure what she was going to say.
Silence sat between them, heavy and charged and so thick, she could almost touch it.
“So.” She cleared her throat, suddenly nervous.
“So,” he repeated.
She was convinced he could hear the thumping of her heart. “I guess you don’t take no for an answer.”
“I guess not,” he said.
She swallowed down hard. “It’s pretty obvious I made a mistake last night. Saying no.”
He didn’t utter a word but there was a flicker across his eyes. Relief?
“A big mistake,” she added.
His eyebrows arched but still he said nothing. Seconds passed. He hadn’t asked her the big question again, either. No “will you marry me?” which meant...
“You’re deliberately making this hard on me,” she accused.
“Possibly. But then I’ve been wounded by rejection. It takes time to bounce back from something like that.” He said it lightly but she saw that deep down, it had hurt him. It had really hurt him and that knowledge left her stunned. It honestly hadn’t occurred to her. Because she’d thought it had been a purely practical proposal. Not one from the heart.
She shut her eyes. “So what do you want me to do? Declare my undying love for you, say that I’ll marry you till death us do part?”
She opened them. He said, “You could. But I think the till death us do part thing is the wedding, not the engagement. And I’m not even sure they say that these days.”
“I’d say it,” she blurted.
He inhaled deeply. “Which bit?”
“All of it. The love you to my dying day and death us do part, I’d say all of it.”
His gaze was noncommittal. “Before we go any further, I need to clarify for my own peace of mind. You are telling me —”
“Oh for goodness sake.” She linked her arms around his neck, and pulled him closer to her, and she kissed him.
She kissed him long and deep and he kissed her back as that feeling, that sense of peace poured through her. Love.
“So what changed your mind?” he murmured against her mouth.
She pulled back a fraction. “Just...thinking.”
He held her even closer, kissed her again, and she said, “I needed to think. To know that it wasn’t that you wanted me to be a nanny to Eric, that you wanted me — for me.” She breathed in deep. “I was hung up on my folks and Edwin but it was me who felt like I’d failed everyone. It was all just something within me that was wrong.”
Thinking that way for so many years...why had she thought that?
“I know Edwin’s attitude never helped, and my sister can be very cutting, but all this time I’ve taken their criticisms so personally and I...I didn’t think I’d ever been good enough. Which was crazy because you’re the one with the father who told you to your face what he thought and I never had that kind of roughness.” She shook her head at her own sensitivity. “I’ve been a self-obsessed idiot.”
He cupped her face in his palms. “No. You have been a woman determined to do everything and prove to the world who you are, and it’s that independence that I like — that I love — about you.”
His mouth hovered over hers again, and he said, “You should know I figured I’d have to work to get you to change your mind so I devised a plan.”
“What was this plan?”
He took her hand then, and led her to the couch. “Sit.”
Maybe he was going to seduce her, maybe that was the plan? But surely not right here with the children just down the hall. “Will this be x-rated?”
His eyebrows arched. “It could be.”
She gestured to the bedrooms. “Because, you know, children and an impressionable teenager.”
He grinned. “When we get married,” he said as he went out to her kitchen, “we are going on a honeymoon.” He ran water into the sink and clattered what sounded like pans, and what sounded very un-romantic. “Wherever you want to go. Anywhere in the world. Just the two of us, the honeymoon suite in every single hotel, room service and champagne. While we are on this honeymoon, Harriet and Sage are going to come over and stay at the house and watch our children.”
“It impresses me you’ve arranged the honeymoon before I’ve even agreed to marry you.”
“I like to be prepared.”
He came over carrying a bowl of water, and a towel slung over one arm. He set the bowl on the ground and she sniffed. Fragrance rose in the steam, a divine fragrance, the kind she smelt when she walked by the soap shops in town.
He knelt in front of her, and lifted her feet on to his thighs.
Then it hit her.
“Jack?”
Anticipation began to build and she said in disbelief, “I don’t believe you’re doing this.”
“Before I begin, is there any foot problem I should know about? Just so I’m prepared.”
She swatted him.
“I had to ask,” he grinned.
Slowly, he unpeeled a sock and slid it off her foot, then did the same to the other. Carefully he put both her feet in the warm scented water, cupped her heels in his hands and began, slowly and firmly, to rub them.
She shuddered, managed to breathe, “Oh. My. Gosh.” She closed her eyes and fell back against the couch in pleasure. Aches and twinges were being eased away with each touch and she nearly stopped breathing.
“It’s magic,” she said thickly as his fingers and thumbs moved over her feet, her heels, her toes, the aching balls of her feet, easing away the night’s discomfort. “It is so good.”
“I can tell,” he mused. “It’s very sexy.”
She could barely speak. She’d never had her feet rubbed, not even by Edwin. One woman at work was the envy of her colleagues because her husband would rub her feet when she got home from work each night, but most ended up sticking their feet in a bowl of water with bath salts and it wasn’t the same thing.
She swallowed down hard as the fragrance wafted to her. “It smells so nice.”
“Harriet borrowed something from Sage,” he murmured as he massaged away all the aches of the night. “You have the sexiest feet. I bet they look amazing in high heels.”
She bit down on her lip as he pressed along her insteps.
Then suddenly, he put the towel across his thighs, and lifted her feet out of the water and she rasped, “Do you have to stop?”
He placed them on the towel and began to pat them dry.
“Yes, I do.” He beckoned and she turned and saw Ruby, James and Eric standing in the hallway watching them anxiously. Harriet stood behind them.
“Is Jack going to be our boyfriend?” Ruby suddenly called out.
Harriet guiltily shooshed her as Jack moved the bowl out of the way, stood and pulled Robyn into his arms.
His eyebrows were arched in amusement and question, and she slung her arms around his neck. Love shone in his eyes. Love, contentment, desire, and it was all for her.