Divinely Living (Surviving Series)

by Courtney Cross

  “Forgive me, baby girl, please forgive me,” he muttered into my hair. “God, I just need you to forgive me.”

  I pulled from our hold and held his face in my hands. “There is nothing to forgive. I’m not saying this isn’t hard to take in right now because it is. But where your actions are concerned, there is no forgiveness needed.” I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his clean shaven chin. “You’re my dad and you’re here. That’s all that matters to me.”

  “I love you so much, Ava,” he breathed. “I always have and always will.”

  I smiled through the tears. “And that makes me the luckiest woman alive. To have two men who love and protect me like you and Jonah do is more than I could have ever wished for.”

  I turned to Jonah, my heart swelling with love as he swiped tears from beneath his eyes. Fisting his t-shirt, I pulled him to me and buried my face in his chest. His arms banded around me, a sob echoed in his chest and twitched against my face. He had been right there with me, experiencing every emotion that I’d experienced, and feeling the pain and loss I felt, too. Easing back, sadness cut through the overwhelming happiness within the room as I realised he had lost someone also, someone important, someone that as a child he so badly needed. As elated as I was to find that special someone I had always longed for, I also knew how hard this must be for Jonah. His special someone, his mother, was god knows where, with god knows who. How any woman could leave her child, let alone a son so beautiful, so strong and capable of so much love, was incomprehensible to me. Glancing at my stomach, the same protective surge I experienced earlier in the day swelled inside me and in an instant my mind was clear. If I were pregnant, if Jonah’s son or daughter was growing inside me, I would view it as the most precious of gifts and one that would bind us for the rest of our days. I may suck as a mother, but with Jonah as a father any child we had, would want for and lack nothing. He or she would be raised surrounded by love, guided by love and thrive on the love they would receive. That is exactly what Jonah had been doing for me since the day we met. I only hoped I would prove worthy of his love and intended to ensure he never regretted gifting his love to me for a second.

  He leaned back slightly and shot me a small smile. Kissing the smile at the corner of his mouth, I rubbed my nose against his. “I know this is hard for you, baby. I wish you could have your happy ending too.”

  His brows pinched in the middle. “You are my happy ending sweetheart. There’s nothing more I want or need in my life.”

  “I meant your mother. We could look for her if you want to?”

  “Don’t you fucking dare,” he cursed. “My mother left me behind through choice,” he glanced over at Mason who was now stood in front of the huge living room window staring out into the darkness. “He didn’t have a choice. That’s why your dad deserves forgiveness and my poor excuse for a mother doesn’t.”

  “Our child will always know exactly who their parents are and that they are loved and wanted and safe. Because that’s how you make me feel, Mr Jacobson and for that reason, any child we have, will be the luckiest boy or girl in the world.”

  Jonah’s eyes widened as he gestured towards my stomach. “Do you know?”

  “No I don’t know, not yet, not for sure. But tomorrow we will. I don’t want to put it off any longer. A part of me is excited to know.”

  He planted a chaste kiss on my lips. “If you are pregnant I’m going to shout it from the roof tops. If you’re not,” he dipped his mouth to my throat. “I’m going to make love to you day and night until you are.” He licked the pulse point in my neck then motioned towards Mason with a nod. “I think Mason needs some more time with his daughter. As much as I want to take you to bed and start baby making, he has twenty two years of pain that needs easing. A few weeks without you were a living hell for me, I can’t imagine living a whole lifetime with that level of pain.”

  Rising to a stand, he kissed my forehead then walked across the room to where Mason still stood watching the world below from the window. His fluid, graceful movements were mouth watering and if it hadn’t been for the fact my newly found father was only a few feet away from him, I would have thrown myself at him, stripped him of his clothes and fucked him right there, right then. As it was, now wasn’t the time. Slapping Mason gently on the shoulder, he offered his hand to him.

  “You’re a good man, Mason. Ava is lucky to have found you at last. Welcome to the family.”

  They shook hands then shared a quick hug. With a wink in my direction, Jonah left the room leaving me alone with my dad. My dad, God that was going to take some getting used to. But I was so looking forward to saying it relentlessly and to a point where it rolled off my tongue with ease. Joining him at the window, he slipped a tentative arm over my shoulder, sighing deeply as I welcomed the gesture and settled contentedly at his side.

  “I still can’t believe this is happening,” he said while still gazing through the window. “It seems completely surreal to be stood beside my daughter. I’ve dreamt of this moment since the day I found out Gina was pregnant with you. Now it’s happening, I’m afraid of waking up and finding this was all a wonderful dream.”

  “You’re not dreaming,” I replied. “And don’t hold me on too high a pedestal. I’m cranky in the mornings, a total bitch without warning and an all round pain in the ass when the mood takes me.”

  “And I will still think you’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever met. Do your worst baby girl. Now I have you, nothing and no one is taking you from me again.”

  The feeling of contentment was surprising as we stood together. A peaceful calm hummed quietly through my body and I was exactly where I wanted to be.

  “Do you want to stay over?” A glance at the chrome wall clock showed it was approaching eleven pm and although I wasn’t known for early nights, I had to admit to myself how exhausted I felt, but that didn’t mean I was willing to let go of my dad just yet. “I’d really like it if you did.”

  “Whatever you want, Ava. At least if I fall asleep here, I’ll know it’s not a dream when your face is the first thing I see in the morning.”

  “There is another reason why I want you to stay.”

  “Oh,” his brows arched as he looked down at me.

  “I want you to do something with me in the morning.” I had been fighting the urge to do something since first arriving in Chicago. It felt right now to share that urge with the one person who would benefit from it as much as I would.

  “I’ll do anything you ask, baby girl. Whatever it is, consider it done.”

  “I want to visit Gina.”

  He smiled broadly, his brown eyes oozing love. “I want to visit Gina too,” he replied.

  Chapter Twenty Two

  Scorching heat enveloped my body and a familiar male scent seeped into my nostrils rousing me from sleep. My mouth tingled as a warm, skilful tongue traced the curve of my bottom lip before dipping between the seam. With my eyes still unopened, I allowed the tongue access and a throaty, feral groan reverberated against my chest. Desire flooded my groin, my nipples hardened and my sex muscles tightened in delicious anticipation of being filled. Passion exploded across my lips as the kiss intensified. A hand fisted in my hair, angling my mouth to the correct ascent, as lips ate, nipped and sucked at my mouth and tongue. Two fingers slid across my breast, down the flat plains of my stomach, my pubic bone and sank into my sex. I moaned and opened me legs wider seeking a deeper penetration.

  “Even when you’re asleep you’re ready for me, Ava. You’re always so wet and so damn willing.” Jonah’s groans coaxed open my eyes. A pair of the deepest blue ones gazed down at me, scorching hot and full of desire.

  “Morning, sleepyhead,” he smiled. Dropping his head to my breast, he plumped the firm flesh in one head and ran his tongue across the hardened point before nipping at the base with his front teeth. I felt the twinge of pain pull in my groin. The soothing suck as he drew the whole of my nipple into his mouth made me groan and arch my back, pressin
g my breast further into his illicit mouth.

  “Where’s Mason?” I asked quietly, suddenly aware we had a guest who, after talking with me until the early hours, ended up falling soundly asleep on the living room sofa.

  “He left to shower and change. I had to assure him that you would still be here when he returned.” Rubbing the tip of his nose against my nipple, he lashed it with his tongue before moving inhaling across my cleavage and lavishing the same attention on my other aching breast. “Don’t worry, sweetheart, I’m not disrespectful enough to make you scream my name while your father is in the adjoining room but having to wait, to fuck what’s mine, seriously pisses me off.”

  “God,” I groaned as Jonah’s fingers began to pump inside of me slow and deep while his mouth continued to worship my breasts. His thumb rubbed in gentle circles against the sensitive flesh of my swollen clit applying firm pressure.

  “Tell me Mason isn’t going to change things with us, Ava. Tell me that I’m still the first, last and only one for you.”

  “You own me, Jonah,” I breathed. His tongue ascended my stomach, shooting licks of fire across my skin. Pausing at my shaven mound, his nose sank into the flesh there and inhaled in my feminine scent.

  “Christ, you smell so fucking ready,” he growled. Using his elbows to give him full entry to my wet sex, he parted the fleshy folds covering my clit with his thumbs. Sweeping a teasing flick of his tongue across my swollen nub, he groaned loudly and me into his mouth.

  “God, yes,” I moaned, my back arched off the bed, my fingers laced in his silky hair holding his mouth against me. “Just there baby, fuck, yes Jonah.”

  His tongue darted inside my inner walls, tasting the juices of my arousal. I thrashed beneath him, his strong arms pinning my lower body to the mattress. He opened my folds wider, his tongue licking around the inside, his lips suckling each fold into his mouth. Two fingers stretched my walls, their fucking motion hardening and deepening with each push. He was fucking me with his mouth and fucking me with his fingers. I closed my eyes, the sensations within my groin overwhelming. Familiar pulsations stepped up in my core, the first sparks of orgasms igniting through my veins and spilling downwards.

  “Come in my mouth, Ava,” Jonah ordered, his voice muffled by a mouthful of my clit. “Let me taste you, baby, I need to fucking taste you.”

  One last pump of his fingers and lick of his tongue sent me crashing over the edge of restraint. The orgasm slammed into me with violent force, my entire frame shaking with the intensity. Screaming his name, warm juices spilled from my sex and onto his waiting tongue. Removing his fingers and sealing my entrance with his mouth, he drank me in, his tongue lapping every last drop of orgasm and choking his loud, feral groans as he swallowed me down. As the waves of ecstasy began to subside and the room came back into focus, I propped my upper weight on my elbows and gazed through drooping eyes at the waves of dark hair between my thighs and the satisfied face of the man who just brought me to orgasm.

  “Who owns you, Ava, tell me again, baby,” Jonah murmured as he pressed a lush kiss against my clit then raised his head.

  “There’s no-one but you, Jonah. You own me,” I breathed hoarsely, my chest rising and falling with rapid succession.

  Straightening on his knees and standing at the foot of the bed, he took his hard, large, thickly veined cock in his hand and started to ease back his foreskin.

  “You own me too, Ava. Come and claim me.” His voice was heavy with lust and his erection pulsing in his hand.

  Shuffling down the bed, I clasped my hands around the base of his cock and graze the wide purple crown with my lips. Tipping back his head, he thrust his hips forward, the tip pushing further into my mouth. Wrapping my lips around him and gripping his thick shaft with my hands, I drew him into my mouth and slid my lips downwards towards my hands. His balls lay full and large beneath his cock, tempting me with their fullness. Withdrawing my mouth, I bent my head further down and ran my tongue across the seam of his sac, the skin hot and soft on my lips. Sucking lightly on each side of his scrotum, his groans of encouragement heated my blood and watered my mouth with the need to suck him dry.

  “Suck me,” he muttered, his hands tugging my hair at the roots as he lifted my head and directed my mouth to his cock. “Suck me hard.”

  Sealing my lips around his foreskin, I began to draw and withdraw him into my mouth. His hands hips began to undulate, the rhythm of thrusts quick, his penetration of my mouth as deep as he could go. My eyes bulged and throat burned but I slid my hands up and down his shaft with a tight grip while sucking his crown tightly. His choked groans and gut wrenching growls spurred me on, his cock frantically fucking my mouth as he chased his own orgasm. Thick drops of pre cum shot from his tip, the taste of salty tang and Jonah, lubricating my tongue. Holding my head still and in place, he thrust twice more, the head of his swollen erection almost my penetrating my throat. With a loud grunt, his body jerked, his cock throbbed in my mouth and scorching, dense semen flooded my mouth. Unable to move for Jonah’s hands pinning my mouth to his cock, he threw his head back and continued to pump his hips, endless amounts of cum puffing out my cheeks. Jonah was wildly fucking himself, his eyes closed as he milked every last droplet of cum from his cock and deposited it down my throat. Breathing loudly, he pulled me to his mouth. Our sweat slickened bodies clashed, his tongue plunging into my mouth as he kissed me fiercely. I could smell the musk of my sex on his lips and taste our combined cum on his tongue. The combination was intoxicating. I needed his scent on me and inside me, marking me as his own. Delirious with desire for the man I loved, there was one last place I ached to be filled and one last place left for Jonah to claim. Now was the time.

  Breaking our lip contact, I stared intently at him and spoke with sincerity. I craved this, wanted this. Jonah was the only man who could replace the bad with the good, eradicate the evil and leave behind only love. “Fuck me,” I whispered, my teeth nipping at his jaw. His cock was still hard and primed as it prodded my stomach.

  “Satisfying your needs is my job, sweetheart. Lay back, spread your thighs and show me that wet, dripping pussy,” he ordered.

  “No, not like that,” I shook my head.

  “Tell me how you want it then.” His teeth tugged at my earlobe and hands roamed the clammy skin of my back.

  “I want you in my ass,” I said seductively. “It’s the last piece of me you have to claim.”

  Jonah’s body stiffened but the desire in his eyes shone brightly. “Do you know what you’re saying? Yesterday was hard for you; emotionally you’re all over the place right now. If I do this and you reject me for it afterwards I won’t be able to take it.”

  I placed my palms on his cheeks and fluttered my lips over his. “Don’t over analyse this Jonah. Stop thinking and just do.”

  I asked for entry to his mouth with my tongue and moaned as he granted me access. The earlier animalistic passion was replaced with smouldering, heart aching love. The emotional attachment we shared bound us together, moulded our flesh into one and our kiss sealed the deal. Pushing me gently onto the bed, our hands and limbs tangled, our pants of hunger mingling into one. Resting his sweat covered forehead on mine, he laced his fingers with mine and raised our joined hands above my head.

  “If I do this, promise me you’re asking for me to fuck you anally out of love and not because you want to use me as a form of therapy.”

  “I’ve told you, I don’t believe in facing your fears to overcome them,” I replied.

  He paused in thought, and then kissed me again. Releasing my hands, he reared up on his knees, gripped my hips and helped me from the bed. Nervous excitement beat in my heart and anxiety swarmed in my stomach. I turned and positioned myself on my hands and knees, my ass opening as I spread my thighs. Yanking a pillow from the top of the bed, I tucked it under my chin and rested my head sideways on top of it. I was vulnerable, exposed, and absolutely terrified. Clenching my teeth, my entire body tensed as the heat from Jonah’
s groin rubbed against my rear. To give myself to him completely meant leaving the fear and memories behind, replacing them with new ones. I just didn’t realise that doing so would prove so difficult or so hard to see through to the end.

  An intense shudder rocked me on my knees as Jonah’s tongue swept along the sensitive flesh from my fleshy mound to the puckered hole of my ass. Every nerve ending rose to high alert, every muscle encased in my body tensed painfully. His cock slid between my two fleshy cheeks, his torso pressing against my back. I held my breath, preparing myself for the pain. Instead, his hands fell to the side of my head and his lips to my ear.

  “You’re potentially carrying my baby, the mother of my child and the woman that provides the sustenance I need to live. You’re not some cheap lay whose ass I fucked just because I could. This is not what we’re about, Ava. My cock belongs in your pussy; it makes love only to your pussy and will not be inside you in any other way.”

  I heaved a silent sigh of relief but was slightly irritated also. “Is my ass not good enough for you?”

  He rubbed his face against my cheek. “It’s too fucking good, that’s the problem. I cherish every inch of your body and can never have my fill of it. But I can’t put you through what he did a second time. And as soon as I push my cock inside you, it will only be him you feel and see not me. You’ve come too far to be taken back to that place again.”

  “I want new memories. I need you to erase what he did to me,” I said quietly.