Friends With Benefits

by Carver, Rhonda Lee

  Sweat beaded on his forehead and his shirt clung to his skin. They’d crossed a boundary into a subject he wasn’t comfortable with or even wanted to discuss at the moment. “Yeah, we once did, years ago. We’ve changed.” He screwed it up, he knew. Why couldn’t he just admit he had fallen in love with her? This was not the time, though. He needed to be sure she returned his feelings and would not run away. “Anyway, we’ve got a good thing going, right?”

  She moved her body and faced him straight on. “What does that mean? We’ve got a good thing going?”

  The evening settled, but he sure felt the blaze of a high afternoon sun. A cotton ball seemed to develop inside his mouth. “I’m just saying that we are best friends. We can talk to one another about anything. We can hang out without feelings getting in the way. Wouldn’t adding romance to the mix screw up the comfort level between us? And what if it didn’t work out?” He was ripping this conversation to verbal hell. He couldn’t control his words. He deserved a badge for being an idiot. The entire evening had headed the wrong direction from the start. Seeing the color change in her eyes, he definitely knew he’d talked himself into a corner.

  He started to open his mouth to explain in a better way, but she jumped up so fast it almost sent him over the edge of the chair. “You’re right. A romantic connection between us would ruin everything. You and I are only meant to be friends.” She stomped toward the French doors. “My mother is right. I’m ready to start thinking about my future. A husband. Kids. However, you’re still enjoying the bachelor scene. Before we know it there’ll be another flavor of the month.”

  “That is unfair–”

  She turned on him–a bull ready to strike at the red cape. “Is it unfair? I’ve watched you and your revolving door for years now. Just when you get to know a woman’s middle name, the newness wears off and you drop her like yesterday’s news. And you believe you have the right to question my romantic life?” She laughed, but it sounded harsh. Rover whined. “You’re not getting any younger either. There will come a time when the giggling ladies will stop admiring you for your looks. The only thank-you you’ll get is for the concoctions you create in the kitchen and not in the bedroom.”

  His heart sank. He wanted to say something. But what could he add that hadn’t already been said?

  She whipped around on her heel and vanished inside.

  He wanted to run after her, but he’d mess it up even more. How could he talk his way in circles around any other female but when it came to Cassie, his best friend, he always sounded loose in the head? Things were already changing between them.

  Chapter 4

  Work was tense the following day. Cassie had barely said two words to Sebastian since her outburst at her mom’s and he wouldn’t even look her way. She’d hurt him. She’d been intentionally cruel and her words hadn’t been accurate. After she and Sebastian had broken up, he could have been labeled a playboy. He’d changed, though. She’d thought about that as she’d lay in bed last night and strolled down memory lane. What she’d found at the end of that road hadn’t been a rainbow of perfection.

  Sebastian had always been there for her. She could count at least ten times she’d called him sick or sad while he was out on a date and he’d dropped everything–and anyone–to come to her rescue. She’d ruined many of his opportunities for a relationship. What woman would want a man who’d leave in the middle of a date to go and take care of his best friend, who just happened to be a female?

  Cassie shook her head. She’d been selfish over the years. She’d been jealous and had wanted Sebastian to herself. How could she have been so callous? She hadn’t meant to be.

  “Hello?”

  Cassie pulled herself out of her thoughts and turned to the brunette standing at the counter. “I’m sorry. Can I help you?”

  “Can I get a medium cafe mocha and one of those?”

  Cassie followed the woman’s pointed finger. Sebastian was coming out of the kitchen carrying a tray of his specialty cinnamon rolls. “You want Sebastian?” The words fell from Cassie’s lips.

  The woman laughed and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I wouldn’t mind a Sebastian but I’ll settle for a roll at the moment.”

  Cassie realized her blunder and attempted a smile of apology. “Of course, I meant it only as a joke. I knew what you meant.”

  “You’re a lucky woman.”

  “Lucky?” Cassie asked as she tightened the lid on the steaming cup.

  “To have a man like him.”

  “Oh, Sebastian and I aren’t together.”

  “Really?” The woman’s chocolate gaze oozed with desire as she watched Sebastian behind the glass case. “I just assumed.”

  Cassie’s smile switched off , but she handed the petite brunette her cup and started to grab a roll from the container on the counter.

  Sebastian said, “Take one of these. They’re fresher.”

  “Thank you.” The brunette’s eyes twinkled as Sebastian packaged her cinnamon roll into a bag. “I’m new to the area. A co-worker said the rolls here are to die for. Once I tried one, I just couldn’t seem to stop. I drive three miles out of my way to grab one of these.” She held up the bag and shook it.

  “Then by all means, breakfast is on the house,” Sebastian said with an ice-melting smile.

  Cassie swallowed. She felt like the third wheel as the brunette returned her own toothpaste-commercial grin “Well, then, enjoy your breakfast.” Cassie forced a grin to her tight lips and stepped back from the counter, leaving Sebastian and the woman a sliver of privacy.

  In the kitchen, Cassie put her energy into kneading dough. She needed something to ease the tension in her muscles from the thoughts swirling in her mind.

  “Over-kneaded dough produces chewy rolls.”

  Cassie looked up. Robin stood in the doorway, a concerned expression marring her otherwise perfect complexion. Cassie wanted to argue, but it would be futile. Robin was right. Cassie reached for the steel cutter and moved on to the next stage.

  “When will you admit it to yourself?”

  “Admit what?” Cassie asked.

  “That you love him.”

  “Who?” Cassie lined the circles of dough onto the pan.

  “Don’t play stupid with me. You know who.” Robin grabbed two Latex baking gloves from the box, slipped them on and joined in filling another pan.

  “You’re talking about Sebastian.” Cassie laughed. “Of course I love him. Seb and I are best friends.”

  Robin scoffed.

  Cassie stopped and wiped her hands on a towel. “Spit it out, Robin.”

  The younger woman shook her head and said, “No.” Robin plopped the last roll down onto the pan and sighed heavily. She lifted her jaw and straightened her spine. “You know, I think I will tell you just how I see it. I’ve watched you and Sebastian skirt around each other like a rooster and a chicken for too long. You’re both too afraid to be honest with one another.”

  Throwing the towel onto the counter, Cassie crossed her arms over her chest. She couldn’t dodge the conversation. “Why would we be afraid of being honest? We can talk about anything.”

  “Everything but telling each other how you feel when it comes to emotions. Your feelings are as obvious as the hooker who stands on the corner of Fifth and Vine. You love him and I’d bet an eyetooth that he is just as crazy about you.”

  Cassie started to deny the allegation, but Robin lifted a hand to stop. “No, don’t tell me it’s friendship only. You’re both so pig-headed that you’re going to lose one another.”

  Cassie moistened her lips. Part of her still wanted to argue, but what would be the point? She finally managed to ask, “We’re going to lose one another?” These words made Cassie curious. “Do you know something I don’t?”

  Robin pulled off her gloves and tossed them into the trash bin. “I know that the cute brunette, the one who just moved to town, gave Sebastian her phone number.”

  Cassie shook her head. “Robin,
you’ve got to stop eavesdropping.”

  “You’re right. I shouldn’t have been listening in on their conversation. So, I won’t make you an accomplice by telling you what else I overheard.” Robin started for the door.

  “Don’t you dare walk another step. What did you hear?” Cassie couldn’t resist.

  Robin sidled up next to Cassie. “They made plans to see a movie together.”

  “Oh.” Cassie dropped her arms to her sides. Disappointment ate through her. She bit her bottom in contemplation. Isn’t this what she wanted for Sebastian? For him to start dating again? For him to move on with his life? Loving him meant allowing him happiness. “He deserves to find someone.” The statement was more for herself than Robin.

  Robin’s features softened. “Well, then be happy for him. This may be his one. She’s a charmer.” She turned and left Cassie alone.

  Cassie peeked out the swinging doors into the shop. The place was hopping. Two rows of people were lined up at the counter and several tables were full. Cassie knew she should help. Rolling off her gloves, she ran her palms down her jeans, took a deep breath and pushed through the door.

  * * * *

  After a hectic morning, Cassie found refuge in her office. She was doing paperwork when Sebastian came in and sat down in the cushioned chair across from the desk. He sat there in silence, watching her, frowning. His gaze was shining. Her anger dissipated. “What’s wrong, Seb?”

  He shrugged a shoulder and lowered his gaze. When he looked back up, he seemed sad. “Still mad at me for what I did at your mom’s?”

  She pushed away the papers and dropped the pen back into the holder. “No, I’m not.” His mouth curved at one corner. “But what you did annoyed me.”

  “I get that, Cass. I’m sorry.”

  Any remaining hurt dissolved. Sincerity turned his eyes warm. She sat back in the leather swivel chair and rested her head against the top. “I hear you have a date.” Best they just threw it out there.

  His eyes widened. “Wow, that was fast. Robin?”

  She nodded.

  “Yes, tonight. Her name is Lila.”

  Her blood froze, yet she dared not let him see her discomfort. Planting a smile that she hoped belied her turmoil, she said, “Good for you, Seb.”

  His mouth opened, as if to say something, but shut. The tension crawled between them like invisible baby roaches.

  That was not what she wanted. “Do you need to tell me something?”

  His fingers threaded through his hair, his jaw tightened and his hesitation appeared in his body language. “No, nothing. But I do want to thank you. You’ve helped me realize I’ve been turning my wheels but getting nowhere.”

  She swallowed with difficulty. “I’m sorry, Seb. What I said last night at Mom’s, it wasn’t fair or true. I lashed out.”

  “An eye for an eye.”

  She stiffened. Is that what they’d become? Acting in revenge? Her stomach turned. “I–”

  “I–” They both started at the same time. His chuckle was tense. “You go ahead.”

  “No, you go,” Cassie offered.

  “I wanted to let you know that I’m leaving early.”

  “Really?” Sebastian never left early. She itched to ask why, but if he wanted her to know, he’d tell her. “Okay, Robin and I will be fine.” She knew her tone lacked in sincerity. She wondered if he’d catch it.

  “And we’re fine, too?”

  “We’re fine too.” As Cassie said the words, she knew they were untrue. Change had come between them. She could feel it in her bones. A wall formed. Could it be stopped?

  Chapter 5

  Cassie sat in the dim lit living room. She checked the wall clock. It was ten PM. She’d called Sebastian ten minutes ago–she shouldn’t have. He was probably out with Lila. Where else would he be? He’d been with the pert chick every other night this week.

  She heard the chime ring on the front door seconds before footsteps came up the stairs. Sebastian rounded the corner into the living room of her apartment. She looked up at him from her position on the couch, where she sat nursing a cup of tea, and set the cup on the table. She wiped tears from her eyes with the moist tissue, hoping she could stop now that he was here.

  “Cassie? What’s wrong, baby?” He dropped onto his knees on the floor in front of her and placed his hands on either side of her hips. Concern etched lines around his eyes. His musk scent reached her nostrils and she felt an immediate comfort. “I came as soon as I got your text.”

  “He stood me up.” The words passed her trembling lips.

  “Who, sweetheart? Who stood you up?”

  Sniffing back a sob, she wiped her nose with the back of her hand. “My admirer. He left me a note saying he would be here tonight and he didn’t show.”

  His olive tone turned pale. “Maybe he’s just running late?”

  Cassie shook her head. “Two hours late? Who is two freaking hours late for a date?”

  He shrugged. “It’s possible something came up.”

  “Are you defending him?” Realizing the harshness in her tone, she took a deep breath and attempted to stop the trembling in her voice. “I’m sorry. I can’t take it out on you.”

  Sebastian reached over and slid her moist hair away from her cheek. He took the mucky tissue from her hand and tossed it onto the table. “Sweetheart, I’m on your side.” He grabbed another tissue from the box next to her. Instead of handing it to her, he gently wiped the wetness from her eyes.

  “How can I trust someone I don’t even know? I’ve been a fool.” Sliding her clammy palms down her legs, she tugged at the fringed hem of her jean skirt. “You always told me a man who shows up late for a date is not worthy of seeing me in the first place. This must be a sign.”

  He nodded. “Yes, that’s true. A man should never be late. But this circumstance is a bit different.”

  “How is that?”

  “You’ve never met him.”

  She cocked an eyebrow. “You don’t call what we did a few weeks ago a meeting?”

  He rubbed his eyes. “No, not really. But things happen and you don’t know why he didn’t show up. Maybe he got stuck at work. It’s possible he forgot, or even got eaten by a pack of wild wolves–”

  “You’re defending him again,” she snapped.

  “I’m not defending him.” He laid one palm on her knee. The other, he used to lift her chin. Their eyes met. “Cass, maybe your relationship with him isn’t meant to be. After all, what do you know about him besides his ability to write attention-getting letters?”

  Cassie wiped away one last tear. What Sebastian said made sense. What did she know about the stranger who had come into her life through letters of infatuation and desire? All they’d had was a night with her blindfolded while he’d remained a mystery guest. “What would I do without you, Seb?”

  “I imagine you wouldn’t have gray hair.” Sebastian stared at the top of her head.

  “What?” she reached up and touched her hair. Seeing the corners of his mouth curve into a smile, she grimaced.

  He broke out into laughter.

  Laughter bubbled up inside her. She definitely felt much better. “That’s not right. You know better than to ever tease a woman about aging.” She poked him in the chest.

  “When is it a bad thing to joke with my best friend?” He tickled her side and she squirmed.

  The next thing she knew, Sebastian’s lips were on hers, and he kissed her with the urgency of a man in need of satisfaction. She wasn’t sure how simple banter turned into touching, which then turned into much more, but she couldn’t deny him. His tongue tangled with hers, evoking hidden desires. Every cell in her body puckered and weaved its way to her core. Insanity slithered through her bloodstream. She dug her fingers through his thick hair and tugged him closer. He moaned. He was into it, too.

  * * * *

  Sebastian lifted himself so he could see Cassie. He stared down into her glistening eyes. Her mouth was red and swollen from his kis
s. He’d seen the many faces of Cassie but this look was different. She gazed at him in abandonment, mirroring his own need for release. Whatever happened, he couldn’t stop now. He had gotten a taste of her and it was useless to fight the urge to bury himself inside her love.

  He brought his mouth down upon hers again. She tasted like a mixture of cherry Chapstick and chamomile tea. Her fingers were deep in his hair until she lowered them to his back. She dug her nails through the material of his shirt and pulled him closer. She slid onto the edge of the couch and spread her legs wide until her inner thighs connected with his cock-stretched zipper. Her heat penetrated his clothes and seeped into his skin. His nerve endings came alive, wanting body-to-body connection.

  “Sebastian…” Her eyes were closed as she called to him.

  How many times had he fantasized he’d be here, like this, hearing his name fall from her moist lips? He’d know what she liked, because he knew her as well as he knew himself. He’d laughed with her. Held her when she was sad. Spoon-fed her when sick. With each day, he’d fallen deeper in love with her. She’d clutched his heart and had never let go.

  “Wait...” Cassie reached down, grabbed the hem of her shirt and tugged it over her head. He soaked up her partial nudity like a sponge absorbing water. From the curve of her collarbone, to the lacey red bra holding her small breasts, to her flat stomach, she was beautiful. A sexy smile curved her lips and enticed his manliness.

  “I don’t see that often,” he said.

  “What? I smile at you all the time,” Cassie’s voice turned husky.

  Sebastian ran his fingertip along the plump arc of her bottom lip. “Not swollen and pink from my kiss.”

  She caught him by surprise when her tongue came out and licked his finger, then she took his digit fully into her mouth and sucked. His breath left his lungs in a whoosh.

  Removing her mouth from his finger, she said, “Take your shirt off.” Unabashed in her demands.

  He liked this new Cassie, so he lost his shirt and tossed it over his shoulder, hearing the tinkling and then the breaking of glass.