President isn’t ‘Mary Sue’

by He Han

  Ruan Yan became dumbfounded then and there.

  Wait a second, the president’s plot he thought of in his head seemed to be more exciting.

  What was with a pair of pants costing ten thousand dollars, was this some opportunistic behavior?

  And what was with Alipay, why was he so simple and rude?

  Where was the gentle, generous gentleman?

  Where was the promised ‘Mary Sue’ president *sob*…

  Seeing the other looking dumbstruck again, Li Han scolded, “What are you dumbly spacing out for?!”

  Ruan Yan shrinked his head back and said, “P-president Li, I only have $256.80 in my Alipay account…”

  Li Han shouted angrily, “Are you mentally retarded? Who cares how much money you have in your account!” He gave the other person a card, “Go grab a suit from the lounge in the inner room and clean up the table! Oh, and don’t forget to finish organizing those two stacks of information in one hour and fifty minutes! What are you still spacing out for?!”

  Looking at mess on the floor as well as the stack of printed information that was at least half a meter tall, Ruan Yan got to work after getting scared shitless.

  Li Han didn’t really want him to pay money, but after being cruelly tormented, Ruan Yan finally woke up from his dream of the other being the ‘man of his dreams’. With shattering sounds, a few cracks also appeared on the ‘Mary Sue’ written in caps lock in his heart.

  After a week, Ruan Yan fully understood that the president of his dreams wasn’t just a tad hard to serve!

  His office had to be completely free of dust, but when he ate bread he would always leave bread crumbs everywhere. There was nothing Ruan Yan wanted to do more than stuff a vacuum cleaner in his mouth. His demanded that all the books and information have to be put neatly in order of their serial number, yet every time after he flipped them open he would just randomly throw it somewhere. There was one occasion where Ruan Yan actually found two sheets of statistic reports on the water tank of the toilet in the bathroom. He wanted Ruan Yan to organise his daily schedule orderly, even the time he spent in the toilet must be precise right down to the very second, however he never did things according to the schedule. He was so wayward that it made other people want him to eat his own work schedule.

  Ruan Yan was now suspicious that Assistant Cheng broke her leg on purpose.

  Even a needle dropping on the floor could be heard in the office, Ruan Yan stood in front of Li Han’s desk with his head hung low and got ready to receive his thirty-second criticism of the week.

  Li Han coldly laughed and threw the project plan at his face, “You think you’re so amazing now that you’ve succeeded in getting TianZhong Electronics’ order? You think you can just randomly give me some trash plan? You can just go straight to planning the project and not do a background check on the client? How is this loss going to be calculated, huh? It’s a loss of three hundred thousand! You have to compensate for it, pay up now! Pay the money through Alipay!”

  Ruan Yan said that same sentence again, “President Li, I only have $256.80 in my Alipay account.”

  Li Han replied, “Who cares how much money you have in your account! You don’t know how to do anything, why should I keep you?! Go clean the entire building!”

  Ruan Yan left in sadness, he grabbed the mop and rag and started washing and scrubbing without any complaints. The ‘Mary Sue’ written in caps lock in his heart had already withered down to a single ‘S’.

  After a month, Ruan Yan got marginalized by his colleagues for no apparent reason.

  Some secret admirer of Assistant Cheng spread the rumors saying that Ruan Yan planned for Assistant Cheng to get hurt and then recommended himself to take her place. He then showed great attentiveness in front of President Li to the point where even though Assistant Cheng had recovered by now, she still couldn’t return to her original position at work. There were even worse rumors that said he didn’t have the abilities to work and must have used some dirty methods to stay by President Li’s side. There were all sorts of rumors and in conclusion, they all described him as a deeply scheming pervert who would use unscrupulous divisive tactics.

  At first Ruan Yan didn’t know what happened, he just felt like there were people constantly talking behind his back. It later developed into someone purposely giving him the wrong file or pretending to forget to notify him of a meeting time.

  Due to frequent mistakes, Ruan Yan got scolded many times. He had reached the end of his forbearance and argued that it was because his colleagues marginalized him and deliberately made things difficult for him. Yet as a result, Li Han mocked him, “Ha, everyone else is fine but it’s just you who’s getting excluded? Maintaining good interpersonal relationships are basic social skills, you should go fix the problem you caused yourself! Is there any use in telling me? Am I your father? Who’s got so much free time to worry about your shitty issues!?”

  Ruan Yan was speechless.

  He just changed his job and came across all this. His bonus this month just went down the drain. After he paid the rent and water and electricity bills, he even needed to bargain with the old man selling grilled sweet potato on the streets.

  Ruan Yan didn’t know whether to laugh or cry from the rumors, he knew that it was useless to refute them. It was a fabricated crime in the first place, the more he touched on it the blacker it would get, and so he decided to put things straight with his actions.

  What shit assistant job was this? He didn’t want to do it anymore even if he got paid money, he wanted to fill in an application to get transferred to another department!

  Ruan Yan handed in a transfer application.

  President Li ripped it and didn’t approve it.

  Ruan Yan handed in a transfer application through the HR Department.

  President Li put down the reason of rejection as: Too young, too simple.[1]

  Ruan Yan proposed the application for a department transfer face to face.

  President Li signed the file in his hands and gave it to him, “You either work or get lost.”

  Ruan Yan gave up. He resculpted the ‘S’ letter in his heart into a middle finger.

  * * *

  [1] Too young too simple; Please note that this was originally in English.

  Chapter 3

  * * *

  Ruan Yan lived through the three months of probation in all sorts of torment, stress and defiance. The mysterious thing was that after bearing with the journey, he felt as though he seemed to have gotten used to it. Recently, he got scolded at less, work went smoothly and his ability to judge problems and solve issues also grew a lot.

  Thinking back, he didn’t receive any substantial blows from Li Han, it was just that the other’s personality was a bit annoying and irritable.

  With this mentality, Ruan Yan’s anger wasn’t so fiery anymore.

  Friday night, Li Han had to go to engage in social activities but he had temporarily sent his driver out to run errands. Taking into account that he had to drink alcohol at night, Li Han got Ruan Yan to drive him to the hotel.

  Ruan Yan felt very baffled, “President Li, this isn’t part of my job right? Plus, wouldn’t you be degrading yourself too much if you went there sitting in my old second hand car?”

  Li Han didn’t mind, “I’ll pay you for the extra hours and the fuel. You just have to worry about driving and don’t think too much about degrading my image. I earn credit with my face not with the car.”

  “Okay then.” Ruan Yan happily took the job after getting overtime pay and fuel money.

  As soon as the car started, before it even drove out of the carpark, the two people suddenly felt an unnatural jolt. Ruan Yan’s heart missed a beat and got off the car to take a look, as expected the left front tire was punctured by a nail.

  Li Han also got off the car, “Tsk, why did a nail appear out of nowhere!”

  Perplexed, Ruan Yan asked, “What do we do?”

  “What do we do? Of course we change the tire
. Do you have a spare tire?”

  “Oh, oh, yes I do.” Ruan Yan opened the boot before becoming completely baffled again, “But I don’t know how to change it.”

  Li Han, “…”

  Ruan Yan suggested, “President, why don’t you call your driver back?”

  Li Han took off his blazer and rolled up his shirt sleeves. “You don’t know how to do anything, you good for nothing rubbish!” he said whilst taking out the spare tire and jack, “Move, you’re in the way!”

  “Oh.”

  And so Ruan Yan just stood to the side with his arms crossed, looking at his own boss changing the tire of his second hand car.

  Clearly it was a very unusual and awkward scene, yet for some unknown reason, he actually felt a bit, just that little tiny bit… ‘Mary Sue’.

  Li Han was drenched in sweat after changing the tire, his clothes were dirty too. He bought a set of clothes to change into at a shopping center on the way and then raced to the hotel. He arrived more than ten minutes late, luckily the people at this social event weren’t strangers so there wasn’t too much of a negative influence.

  The business negotiations that day were very successful, the price for the success was that Li Han drank too much alcohol.

  Ruan Yan served the role as his assistant and driver so he couldn’t drink. He was helpless as he looked at Li Han’s complexion turn from red to pale. At this moment, he deeply understood that being a president wasn’t so easy.

  On the way back to Li Han’s house, Ruan Yan kept paying close attention to him through the rearview mirror. After all, the other person was in his car, thus feared that they would lose control and throw up in his car.

  Li Han leaned against the backseat with his eyes closed and brows knit together, his complexion was very bad, it seemed like he was really feeling unwell.

  Seeing his hand pressed against his stomach, Ruan Yan nervously asked, “Do you want to vomit?”

  Li Han slightly opened his eyes, his next words were fairly understandable, “I didn’t even eat much food, there’s nothing to vomit out.”

  “Oh.” Ruan Yan let out a sigh of relief before he took another glimpse through the rearview mirror, “Does your stomach feel uncomfortable? I heard that it’s very bad if you drink alcohol on an empty stomach…”

  “Red light! Are you blind! Drive your car properly, stop with your nonsense!”

  “…”

  His goodwill got mistaken for ill intent! Ruan Yan pressed right down on the brakes and rolled his eyes backwards. If he acknowledge him again he would be his grandson[1]!

  After safely sending him to the bottom of the building, Ruan Yan wanted to quickly leave as soon as the other person got out of his car. However, after he saw Li Han struggle to walk whilst holding a wall, he hesitated.

  He finally compromised after he went through a few psychological battles and remembered back to the scene when the other person changed his car tire.

  If he was his grandson then so be it! He can’t be the uncle[2] normally anyways.

  Ruan Yan supported the other person home, poured him a cup of hot water and found some stomach medicine. Seeing his unwell and pale complexion, Ruan Yan went back into the kitchen and found a bag of frozen dumplings. He boiled them, mixed the dipping sauce and placed it in front of Li Han.

  Although it was just a plate of dumplings that required absolutely no skill to make, in the end it was still hot food. Having recovered for a while on the sofa, Li Han didn’t hold back and devoured it like a hungry wolf.

  Li Han sighed, “It seems like you are still of some use, you even know how to cook.”

  Taking advantage of being the benefactor, Ruan Yan used this opportunity to let out his anger, he pretended to be surprised and exclaimed, “I never knew that President Li’s requirement for ‘knows how to cook’ would be so low.”

  “What, are my requirements in other areas very high?”

  “Haha, they’re okay.”

  Li Han ignored his mockery and comfortably leaned against the sofa. He stretched his arms out like he was trapping Ruan Yan in his territory, “The house you rent is very far away from the company right? The place across mine is up for rent right now, why don’t you move over there. The transport is convenient and you’ll have more time to work. I can look after you too.”

  Ruan Yan took a look around his house before he gazed at the president like he was looking at a retard and said, “President Li, do you think the wage you give me is enough to pay for the rent here?”

  Li Han asked, “It’s not enough?”

  “….Guess?” Ruan Yan coldly laughed, “And are you sure it’s to look after and not to abuse?”

  “Okay then, whatever you want.” Li Han didn’t force him.

  Probably because he was used to being enslaved, Ruan Yan helped the other person wash the bowl and chopsticks like a good for nothing idiot. When he came out he saw that Li Han had already fallen asleep on the sofa.

  He grabbed a thin blanket and threw it over the other person before he turned off the lights and left.

  * * *

  [1] 孙子 This literally means grandson. In Chinese, it’s also slang for being the subordinate/one that receives orders and has a lower rank

  [2] 大爷 Literally means uncle. Also slang for the person who is in a higher position/the arrogant bully. It is a pair of 孙子

  Chapter 4

  * * *

  With the blink of an eye, Ruan Yan had now worked at QianHui Technology for more than half a year. He didn’t know when his life goal had become: Ensure Li Han can’t pick out any problems. He would try his hardest to do everything to its best as to block that annoying president’s mouth, so he couldn’t boss him around again.

  By now, Ruan Yan had already become somewhat of a superman in the professional field, he rose from a small assistant to a special assistant within half a year. He was also concurrently in charge of being the advisor for the Research and Development Department. He had the auditing authority for projects in his hands so his wage even increased by several folds.

  Of course there were still people who disliked him and secretly obstructed him quite a few times, but he wasn’t that cowardly new person who would just swallow insults and humiliation in silence anymore. As for the person who would spread rumors every now and then, he just pointed out their infringement of commission regulations, thus cut off their hopes of getting promoted.

  That person barged into the meeting room cursing at him, they used every single dirty word out there and even described the ‘black history’ of how he got his position in vivid detail. The brilliance of the plot was enough to top an imperial harem play.

  Ruan Yan patiently listened to him and didn’t take any action at all.

  He said to the person in front of everyone else, “You like Assistant Cheng right? But Assistant Cheng already changed jobs, why don’t you leave together with her? You can’t chase the girl you like and you only know how to be jealous of someone stronger than you since you can’t get promoted. I don’t have time to write an imperial harem drama script with a loser like you.”

  The person wanted to argue again but Ruan Yan used his fountain pen and tapped against the surface of the table, “You can either work or get lost. Understand?”

  The person causing trouble left red faced.

  Li Han who sat in the boss’s seat glanced over at Ruan Yan, the corner of his lips slightly lifted up, “Next topic of discussion.”

  The busiest time at the end of the year passed, Ruan Yan hadn’t had a good rest for more than a month. With the addition of the cold weather and the cold virus wreaking havoc, after he organised the last project bid, he gloriously fell sick.

  Ruan Yan took three days off work. He went to the hospital to get prescribed some cold medicine and cough syrup, he then went to the supermarket to buy a bunch of food for future use and rested at home in peace and quiet. Far away from work, far away from his boss, he enjoyed the tranquil from body to soul as he ate snacks whilst
catching up on American dramas.

  On the other hand, Li Han was about to break down.

  Li Han suddenly realized, he almost couldn’t take this life without Ruan Yan anymore!

  He wasn’t accustomed to anything he did: Why did the substitute assistant put the files on his left hand side, it wasn’t not convenient at all! If he wanted to search for any information he had to prepare it temporarily, wasn’t it usually organised for him perfectly already?! He didn’t feel good using the toilet paper either, why couldn’t they buy the toilet paper he used to use that had the optimal softness?!

  Nothing he ate was comfortable: It was the same coffee with milk and no sugar, yet why was there such a big difference in taste?! The oranges weren’t sweet, the apple skins weren’t peeled cleanly, there were too many black spots on the banana, how was he supposed to eat that! Today was Wednesday, steamed bass should have been ordered for lunch, this braised pork was too damn oily!

  The first day Ruan Yan took off work, Li Han had already become so mad he wanted to jump off the thirty-sixth floor. After he finally survived past working hours, he would get everything ready to go personally visit the patient.

  Li Han knocked until the door opened, an extremely unrefined, striped cotton padded jacket entered his sight. Someone was sporting a chicken’s nest on their head and had a red nose from too much snot. Peanut crisp crumbs were stuck on their face… Li Han didn’t even recognize Ruan Yan at first sight.

  It wasn’t at the company anyways, nor was it at his boss’s home, Ruan Yan didn’t give Li Han any face at all in his own territory.

  He casually pointed to the untidy sofa, “Sit.”

  He casually poured a cup of water, “Drink.”

  He casually threw him a bag of peanut crisps, “Eat.”

  He then hugged his body pillow on the sofa, pressed the play button on the remote and continued to watch American drama.

  Li Han stiffly sat on the plastic bag and wrapping papers, he didn’t look too good.