by Hannah Jayne
“Ms. Lawson?”
He leaned down gallantly and offered me a hand; I took it tentatively, pushing myself up with my other hand.
“Dixon, hi. I’m really sorry.” I looked over both shoulders, worried my bottom lip, trying to stall and buy time to come up with a good explanation. “I thought I heard something in here, and I thought everyone had left, so I just thought ... well, you know, with everything going on and all... . I wanted to make sure that everything in here—everything in here, and with you, was secure. And maybe to see if you needed me to do anything.”
I grinned widely, stupidly, praying that Dixon would see past my terror, sweat, and pee smell—and would send me home or fire me on the spot.
But he didn’t seem to have listened to a word I said.
His eyes were fixed, narrowed, and laser sharp on my lower leg, on the enormous tear in my panty hose. On the velvety red bead of blood that bubbled there.
“Oh.” I looked from the tear to him, at the sharp focus of his eyes, the faint flick of his nostrils. I saw a muscle in his cheek flick, saw the slight bob of his Adam’s apple as he swallowed.
He was salivating.
“Dixon?”
Dixon avoided my gaze, his whole body bristling. It looked as though it took effort—physical effort—for him to tear his eyes from my cut, from the blood that had now started to dribble in an anemic, itchy trail.
“You need to go home now, Sophie.”
I picked up my shoulder bag and pointed toward Dixon’s office door. “I need to get my cell phone. I dropped it when I”—I paused, licking my lips—“when I tripped.”
“Get it. And then you need to leave right now, Ms. Lawson. You shouldn’t be in here. My office is private, and I need for you to leave right now.”
“But I just need to—”
Dixon’s mouth was open, his sharp fangs glistening with saliva. “Go!”
His palms were on my chest and he gave me a shove. His push knocked me out into the main hall, making me slide across the linoleum on my butt and lose my breath when I finally hit the wall. My heart was pounding in my throat, and my whole body felt hot, covered in a fine, sticky sweat.
Dixon stood in his office, fists and teeth clenched. I scrambled onto hands and knees, pushed myself onto my feet, and took off at a dead run to the elevators.
I didn’t stop hiccupping, crying, or sucking in great gusts of fresh night air until I was at the base floor of my apartment building. I was able to breathe normally, was able to go a full minute without a snot-filled hiccup, by the time I got to Will’s door.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, love,” he said, opening the door and letting me fall into him. “What happened here?”
I dumped all of my things on the ground and thumped down, too. “Dixon tried to eat me.”
Will’s fawn-colored brows rose. “Isn’t that quite frowned upon at UDA? The boss eating his employees?”
I breathed deeply. “Well, I guess he didn’t try to eat me, so much as he wanted to eat me. And didn’t.”
“Well, that was nice of him. Right?”
I dropped my head in my hands. “What’s happening, Will? My life is coming apart at the seams.”
Will sank down next to me and gathered me in his arms. I sucked in his sweet, toasty scent of hops and sighed. “I’m sorry. It was just a weird day”—I looked up, feeling quite pitiful—“and I should go home.”
“That’s okay. I was just making a curry, if you’d like to stay around and—”
“No. No, but thanks,” I said, pushing myself up to standing. “I really need to go home.” I used the back of my hand to push the tears from my eyes and swept a kiss on Will’s cheek; then I rushed across the hall to my own door.
ChaCha greeted me with her usual series of Alpo-scented yips, while Vlad greeted me with his usual series of brooding vampire/annoyed teenager grunts. Suddenly he appeared over his laptop. “Are you bleeding?”
I dampened a paper towel and dabbed at the half-dried blood on my thigh. “It’s nothing.”
Vlad knitted his eyebrows. “You okay?”
I opened my mouth and then closed it again, staring at Vlad. I studied the sweet, concerned look on his face, the sharp ends of his fangs pressing over his bottom lip. “I’m fine,” I said again.
I had the oven door open and was pawing through my earthquake stash of marshmallow pinwheels and Coke Zero—San Francisco is thisclose to a fault line, you know—when Nina came strutting out in a silky gown that hugged each of her marble curves. She was clipping on a gorgeous pair of Art Deco diamond drop earrings and scowling about it. Vampires can only wear clip-ons, as a piercing immediately heals itself. I found it creepily cool; Nina found it an affront to fashionistas everywhere.
“Well,” she said, arcing her arms in a flourish, “how do I look?”
I crushed the package of pinwheels to my chest. “You look beautiful. Is that why you left the office at three today?”
Nina just winked at me, and I couldn’t help but admire her for the easy way things slid off her back, for the way that she would never miss a meal or gain an inch. I would be satisfied with eternal life and no earrings if I could have her countenance that simply broadcast “piss me off and I’ll eat you.”
I shoved a whole pinwheel into my mouth and sat down at the dining table. ChaCha must have heard the rustle of the package—anything rustling must be for her, she assumed—as she came bounding up and into my lap.
“You look incredible, Nina,” I said, chocolate dribbling down my chin. “Sometimes I wish I could be like you.”
“Immortal?”
“That”—I popped open a warm Coke Zero and took a swig—“and uncomplicated.”
Nina’s eyes narrowed and the temperature in the room dropped about ten degrees. Even ChaCha started to shiver, a stripe of hair on her back standing straight up like spines.
“I didn’t mean you’re uncomplicated,” I backpedaled. “I just meant your life is so much fun. You know, your dad’s not Satan. You can go out with whomever you want, without the fate of the world hanging in the balance.” I fished out a second pinwheel. “Must be nice.”
Nina was going more and more stiff; her lips held tighter and tighter.
I wasn’t making any friends.
“And that’s my cue,” Vlad said, throwing his leather duster over his arm and beelining for the door.
She leaned over so that we were an inch apart. Both her hands lay flat on the dining table; her clip-on earrings swinging.
“Wah, wah, wah! I’m Sophie Lawson and my life is horrible because my dad abandoned me and might be the devil, and I can’t figure out if I want to be with an angel or a Guardian. Wah, wah, WAH!” Nina crossed her arms, and genuine anger roiled in her eyes. “You know, some of us are damned, Sophie. That’s a little bit of a pain in the ass, too. I love you, but I’m getting really tired of your world-is-ending pity parties. All of us have stuff to deal with. You’re looking for your soul mate between Will and Alex? Be happy you have a soul to share.”
Nina snatched her purse and keys from the peg by the door and slammed the door hard behind her. I sat at the table, openmouthed, partially pinwheeled. I felt even worse about myself, feeling a tiny warmth starting at my belly.
A beat passed and I stood up fast, rushing to the front door, throwing it open. “I’m sorry, Nina!” I called out to the empty hall. Will’s doorknob rolled and he poked his head out.
“What’s going on out here?” He looked at me and then frowned—with disgust or concern, I couldn’t be sure. “What happened to you? It’s barely been fifteen minutes and you look like you’ve gone from bad to worse.”
I looked down mournfully at my shirtfront, now heavily flecked with bits of chocolate cookie—and dog pee.
“It’s pinwheel,” I said sadly. “And, apparently, dog pee.”
I dragged my feet over to Will and threw my arms around him. “I suck, Will. I’m a sucky friend and a sucky Underworld protector, and I’m out of pinwheels
.”
Will initially arched away from me—likely in an effort to keep himself dog pee free—then held me close to him, patting my back tenderly.
“Tell me about it, love,” he said, his lips nestled just above my ear.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Will took me by the hand and I stumbled behind him into his living room. “Still moving in, huh?”
Though it had been at least a year, Will still had nothing more than the two lawn chairs in the living room, a Wii console and now, an entertainment wall unit so sleek and modern, I was certain NASA was probably missing it. He shrugged, offering me that carefree, lopsided grin.
“I think the pillow there”—he pointed to a needlepoint Arsenal pillow nestled on one of the chairs—“really makes the place look homey. You want to go across and change your shirt? I’ll make you a cuppa.”
I looked down miserably at my pee- and chocolate-soaked shirt. “I don’t want to go home. I’m afraid I’ll blow it up, or something will come barreling in there and kill me. Can I hang out here?”
“Sure. If anything is coming after you, it’ll never find you here, right across the hall.”
I felt my lower lip jut out childishly. “But you’re my Guardian.”
“I was just kidding, love. It’s my job to protect you. But if you blow up my apartment, you’re on your own.” He gestured to his living space as though it were palatial or furnished. “I quite like it here now.”
I nodded, looking around. “I kind of do, too.”
He jerked his head toward the bedroom. “Why don’t you go grab yourself a less scenty shirt, though? I’ve got a clean stack on the bureau. Yes”—he nodded his head modestly while patting his flat-as-a-washboard stomach—“I do laundry.”
I nodded and padded into Will’s room. It was smaller than mine and dim, with a tasteful bedroom set that belied the lawn furniture out front. I looked around and breathed in Will’s scent—part laundry detergent, part some sort of spicy, fresh cologne. The stack of clean clothes was on the bureau, and next to that a framed photograph of an older woman, with a sweet, serene smile. Her head was slightly cocked, and her eyes were the same gold-flecked hazel as Will’s. She had the same warm, playful look that I had seen so many times when I looked at Will. I knew his mother was back in England, that he talked to her often; and the thought—Will’s family, his roots—struck something in my heart. No one I knew—myself included—had roots.
I turned around and grinned at Will’s rumpled bed; at his nightstand, which held a half glass of water, a stack of Harlan Coben books, and a pair of eyeglasses. Nothing mysterious or mythological. Nothing magical. Nothing that said he was just passing through, only here long enough to change the fate of the world. Roots.
I slipped out of my shirt and reached for one of Will’s. It smelled like laundry detergent and cleanliness. I couldn’t bear to slip into it in my dirty state. Instead, I shimmied out of all my clothes, and turned the shower on extra hot in the attached bathroom.
When enough steam filled the room, I stepped into the shower and held myself under the pounding spout. The hot water poured over my shoulders and I felt my whole body melt. I clamped my eyes shut and suddenly I couldn’t tell the shower water from the tears flooding over my cheeks. I was tired. So, so tired. I didn’t want to think of the Underworld or fallen angels or a father who didn’t want to see me. I didn’t want to piece any puzzles together or let anyone down.
I didn’t want to be the Vessel of Souls.
I didn’t want to protect the Underworld.
I stepped out of the shower and dried off with one of Will’s ultra fluffy towels, enjoying the soothing normalcy of a bathroom stocked with all the usual stuff; and a bedroom that contained a slept-in bed and a giant picture window that could be thrown open to allow the sunlight to stream through.
I was tired.
Will’s bed was welcoming with its disheveled sheets, which smelled like Will. Comforting. Clean. Simply human. I dropped my towel and snuggled under the covers for just a second, just to feel normal—like a girl who had a boyfriend. Not an angel.
Not a vampire roommate.
I was so, so tired.
When I opened my eyes, I wasn’t sure where I was. The light was dim and I was comfortable; I felt alive and well rested. And then I heard the breathing next to me. It was a rhythmic rise and fall, a normal human cadence. When I rolled over, I sat up with a start.
It was Will.
And I was naked.
My heart started to thud and I rubbed my head. I had taken a shower. I had crawled into bed.
Is Will naked, too?
His chest was bare, the covers pulled just over his stomach.
I gingerly lifted up the blanket, peered underneath. He was wearing pants.
I watched his chest rise and fall in the dark, a sliver of silvery moonlight catching the perfect edge of his profile. He was handsome this way—quiet, asleep—and his lips looked lush and perfect. My heartbeat sped up and my palms were clammy damp. I leaned over, drew a breath, and pressed my lips against his.
Without a word, without a single thought, I was kissing Will and he was kissing me; his arms snaked around my waist and he pulled me close to him. My breasts crushed against his chest as I kissed him harder, pushing every other impulse out of my mind. His fingers were looped in my hair, and mine were raking across his back as we spun, kicking back covers, pulling off clothes. I felt my blood coursing through my every vein, my every artery—every single part of my body was tingling, on high alert. For the first time I could really remember, I felt alive.
Will pulled into me, holding me close. I listened to our hearts pounding, felt his breath washing over me.
There were no scars on his back—no threat of leaving when he looked at me. His skin was supple, perfect.
He knew what I knew. He saw what I saw.
He looked down and kissed me once more, and I melted into him.
Sunlight streaked through the picture window and I stirred, an ache going through my entire body. I waited for ChaCha’s kibble breath, for her frenzied good-morning licks, but nothing happened. I cracked open one eye and then the other; I rolled over and took in the empty pillow.
Will.
I sat up and stared around the empty room; the unusual feeling of comfort and serenity crashing over me. I slid into one of Will’s shirts and padded into the kitchen, where Will stood shirtless, staring at an egg in a frying pan as if it were an alien baby.
“Good morning,” I said, trying hard to keep the sleep and sheepishness out of my voice.
“Good morning to you, love,” Will said, giving me a noncommittal kiss on the forehead. “Sleep okay?”
I nodded. “What’s that?”
Will frowned. “I was planning on making you breakfast in bed.”
I glanced at my watch. “It’s almost noon.”
“Well, there is that. Also”—he poked at the egg—“I don’t know how to make eggs.” Will tossed the pan—milky egg and all—into the sink. “How ’bout you stay around? I’ll make my famous call to Crepe Ape?”
“No, thank you. I should really get going.” I gathered my clothes under one arm and carried my shoes in the other. Will and I shared an uncomfortable silence.
Do I kiss him? Thank him? Wave good-bye?
“I gotta go,” I said, avoiding his gaze and slipping out the front door.
Smooth, I groaned.
And then I ran into Alex.
“Hey,” he said, steadying me.
“You’re back,” I said, startled, but otherwise unsure how I felt.
“Yeah. Got in about an hour ago. We’re done.” He grinned, but his brow was furrowed. “You’re sure in a hurry to get somewhere.” His words slowed down as he took me in—I was in a thigh-length football T-shirt, carrying my clothes, my red-hair halo undeniably screaming, “Morning after!” I saw him swallow hard, and all my early-morning comfort crashed away.
He’s not my boyfriend, I reminded myself. So why
do I feel so damn guilty?
Alex looked down at his shoes and I shuffled my bare feet, thinking that if “Devil Dearest” cared for me at all, he’d choose this very moment to open up the mouth of Hell and call me home.
“I tried to call you, but it kept going straight to voice mail. I figured you had something going on.” Alex looked as though he was working not to see my T-shirt, not to look at my naked legs. “I’m heading out again in a couple of days. Back to Buffalo, just to finish things off. I just wanted to stop in to make sure you were all right.” The muscle jumped in Alex’s jaw as he swallowed hard. “But I guess you’re doing fine.”
I opened my mouth to say ... What?
“Um, thank you. I ... was just ...” I pointed to Will’s door. “We were just—”
Alex shook his head; a smile that was really not a smile at all on his lips. “That’s okay. You don’t have to say ... I just wanted to say good-bye.”
My chest started to feel tight; my heart rose in my throat. “Because of Buffalo, right? I mean, you’ll be back, right?”
Alex avoided my gaze. “Sure.” He reached out, his hand landing softly on my shoulder. He patted it; then gave an awkward squeeze. “I’m glad you’re okay.” He didn’t look at me when he said, “Good-bye, Sophie.”
He turned and walked away; and every fiber of my being told me to stop him, to shout, to say something—anything—that would pull the awkward discomfort out of this moment, for something that would make everything okay with Alex, with Will—with me.
“Alex,” I said to his back.
He stopped and waited a beat before turning around. “Yeah?”
I bit my lip, and words choked my throat. Alex’s tender gaze; Will’s comforting touch. Alex’s sexy half smile; Will’s sweet lopsided one. The way my name sounded in each of their mouths ...
“Be safe,” I heard myself whisper.
I stepped into my apartment, dumping my filthy clothes on the floor. ChaCha came running toward me and I scooped her up, scratching her head absently.
“Nina!” I called. “Neens, I need to talk to you.” My cheeks were hot, and my heart was crushed between walking into Will’s arms—and out of Alex’s.