Vodka Doesn't Freeze

by Leah Giarratano

  '. . . you watch. Everything will get buried with that Carter case anyway. Deviants like that always stick together. Jackson would think of him as part of the homosexual scene, like a brother.'

  She stopped dead; blood suffused her face. She couldn't care less about Elvis spreading rumours that she was a lesbian, but she couldn't believe that he could even joke that she would somehow protect a paedophile. She didn't hear Scotty say her name, couldn't feel his hand on her arm. She didn't try to think of a comeback. Elvis had his back to her as he talked to two of his cronies, obviously aware that she was just then walking past. With no warning, she exploded into movement, shoulder-charging Calabrese. The heavy man sprawled forward, his gut connecting with a desk corner before he dropped to his knees, sucking air.

  'Oh shit! Sorry, man,' Scotty offered his big hand to Elvis, who stayed where he was on the floor, his face black with rage. 'No really, sorry, man, and I'm sorry for pushing you like that, Jackson. Andreessen's right, we gotta stop mucking around.'

  He steered Jill, who was standing rigid, out of the office.

  'Just keep walking, Jill,' said Scotty tightly. 'You're gonna get a bullet in the head in some laneway one day, I swear.'

  5

  MENTALLY EXHAUSTED, JILL was tired of fighting the nightmare that started rolling as soon as she slipped into sleep. She gave up trying and walked, eyes closed, down the hall towards her gym. She was used to nightmares, but they were so real lately; last night she'd woken screaming twice, her pillow sour with sweat.

  Jill had spent two years after the kidnapping waking every night from these dreams. She'd stayed hidden in her home, her mother by her side day and night. She wouldn't sleep alone and stopped eating. She was racked by paralysing panic that left her hyperventilating and sure she was going to die. As a way of blocking the pain, she took to scratching deep welts in her arms using her fingernails, and progressed to a Stanley knife on her thighs. She hated the burn scars left by the rapists, but revelled in the blood-red warrior marks she made herself.

  After three days in the basement, Jill had learned how to turn the physical pain off, mentally leaving her body when the two men were in the room. Sensory deprivation had heightened this ability to disconnect from reality – in the dark she could not see her attackers and they never spoke. After the police had brought her home, she'd found this capacity to become numb would take over involuntarily, and would smudge its way over everything, leaving her feeling empty, like a puppet.

  At fifteen, Jill had given in to her mother's tears and agreed to see a counsellor. To her surprise, this time something clicked, and she began clawing her way back into her life. She returned to school, swapped cutting for tattoos, and starving for exercise. She swapped crying for control and order, and set about harnessing her ability to numb any pain. She found that ignoring fatigue meant that studying all night was nothing for her. She quickly caught up with her peers in her schoolwork, and soon overtook them.

  She then set about finding a method to defend herself, vowing that if anyone ever again tried to hurt her, she'd make them bleed too. She took up kickboxing, and found a gym that taught the sport using full-contact, gutter fighting. At first her instructors were bemused when Jill insisted on fighting others blindfolded. She was beaten constantly, and soon most at the gym refused to fight her blind and defenceless. She would inwardly curse as those who did get in the ring with her tapped her lightly, instead of connecting properly, or told her verbally where they would strike next.

  One afternoon, blindfolded in the ring, Jill was sparring with one of the trainers. The woman was walking through her moves, easily dodging most of Jill's strikes and, every now and then, half-heartedly throwing a light kick. When the trainer began a conversation with an apparent bystander, Jill swallowed her frustration. She wanted a focused, determined enemy. She remembered the helplessness of being blindfolded in the basement, and she was determined to conquer her fear of the dark. The grunting and panting of her speechless abductors also taught her a lesson; by the time she'd been released, after three days, she was excruciatingly aware that sound and movement could predict future agony.

  The male voice at the side of the ring was scornful. 'If she wants to get flogged, Kaylene, you should give it to her.'

  'Yeah, righto, Price, there's nothing to see here. Just use the other ring will you,' Jill's sparring partner responded.

  'She's the one with nothing to see. What a friggin' waste of time.' Jill heard the man moving closer to the ring. 'Use the force, kid,' he called derisively.

  Jill didn't respond; she continued to try to make contact with her blows, trying to anticipate where Kaylene would move next.

  'Give us a go, Kaylene. I'll partner her for a while.'

  'Just forget it, Price,' Kaylene began.

  Jill stopped. 'Yeah, all right,' she said, removed her blindfold, and faced the man outside the ring. 'Thanks, Kaylene. I want to get some practice with different people.'

  'This is not a good idea,' responded the trainer. 'Jill, it's dangerous trying to fight like this.' In a quieter voice, just to Jill, she said, 'Not this guy. You're not training with him.'

  Jill reached a hand down to the man standing by the ring. 'I'm Jillian. Two-minute rounds okay with you?'

  Kaylene shrugged in disgust and got out of the ring. The man took her place. He was about 170 centimetres tall – a little taller than Jill – with thinning brown hair and a slight beer gut.

  'Ron Price,' he ignored her hand. 'So what's with the blindfold? Kinky?' he asked.

  'So are you okay with two-minute rounds?' Jill repeated.

  'Yeah, whatever. This should be fun.'

  He threw his towel over the ropes in his corner and Jill went to her own, her heart pounding. Although she'd wanted a serious opponent, she knew she wasn't ready for this. She took a deep breath and pulled her blindfold down, put her mouthguard back in. I'll never be ready unless I find someone to fight me, she thought.

  Over the next two minutes, Jill hit the ground five times. When she sat back in her corner, her head was ringing and each breath felt like a stab wound to her ribs. She could hear Price sniggering in his corner. Five more rounds, she thought, this is gonna kill me. The blindfold felt suddenly stifling and she raised her hand to rip it off, a wave of fear and disorientation rising up to swamp her. She swallowed, pushed the fear back down and felt the numbness kick in. She heard Price breathing in his corner, eager to go again.

  About fucking time, she told herself. I'm finally gonna learn something.

  Over the next eight months, Jill sparred regularly with Ron Price, and soon found there were others happy to partner her in the ring. She learned to tune out the background noise of the gym and to concentrate solely upon the sounds of her foe – their footsteps, subtle movements, even their breathing, taught her where they were and the moves they would make next. These sounds began to replace the need to see, painting for Jill a mental image of her opponent's position, and she began striking accurately, pre-empting their next blow. She learned to use their punches and kicks to set up her own, increasingly accurate with her judgment of the time it would take for their balance to be regained, and striking before they could reposition.

  She practised daily, at the gym at six when it opened, and fitting in two hours after school every day. However, when the number of people watching outside her ring increased, and their taunts became cheers, she left the gym and took to training at home.

  Jill walked into her home gym and filled a cup from the water dispenser near the door. She glanced at the clock. 4.20 a.m. The alarm would've gone off in forty minutes anyway. She started her routine again, her headache forgotten as she punished her body for the weakness of the day before.

  6

  LATE THE NEXT MORNING, at her desk in the squad room, Jill tried to apply herself to paperwork on the Carter case. She and Scotty had decided to split some of their work to try to progress things faster. Neither of them wanted this to go on any longer than it had to.r />
  Scotty was out interviewing the father of an eleven-year-old girl who'd been molested by David Carter five years previously. The case had only gone to court last year, and Carter had been found not guilty because of insufficient evidence. Although two children had testified that Carter had sexually abused them, his highly paid barrister had torn their evidence to shreds, arguing that if they had been mistaken about exact dates and times, they could have been mistaken about being abused at all. It was an outcome the police and DPP saw all the time, with crushed victims and devastated families walking away from the process feeling that the justice system was a sick joke. Little Madison Lee's father had been particularly vocal in his threats to castrate Carter. Scotty would be sympathetic interviewing him.

  Jill stretched and took another sip of her Pepsi Max. She couldn't settle into this case. With her feet up on her desk, she ignored the muscle pain from her workout that morning and tapped into the COPS database, searching for updates on the murders of Dennis Rocla and George Manzi, also known as George Marks.

  Within moments, she found what she was looking for.

  'I knew it,' she breathed, sitting up straight in her chair, bringing her face close to the computer screen. She looked up from the database and punched in Scotty's mobile number.

  'The dead guys in Woolloomooloo and Lane Cove' – Jill was speaking before Scotty had even said hello – 'Manzi and Rocla. I told you they were squirrels. They've both got sex offender sheets. This is the same killer. The same person killed them and Carter. I know it. Someone is getting payback.'

  Scotty sighed. Then there was silence for a few beats. 'Shit. Yeah, maybe. Who knows? But if you're right, Jill, we're talking about a mass murderer now, not a simple bashing at the beach. This is gonna be big. Bigger than us.' He sounded tired. 'Who's working the Rocky and Manzi cases? I guess we'd better go talk to them.'

  'It'sRocla, Dennis Rocla, not Rocky,' said Jill. 'And Harris and Jardine are working both cases over at Central.' She tried to keep the last part casual.

  'Aw, fuck! Why'd it have to be them?'

  'Yeah, anyway. How's Madison's dad?' Best to change the subject. Scotty had a history with Harris and Jardine. Elvis's cronies.

  'Let's just say he's not in mourning for Carter,' he answered. 'You wouldn't believe it, J. He shook my hand when I told him Carter was dead. He actually offered me champagne – at ten in the morning.' Scotty laughed. 'He's still pretty cut up about what happened, but the whole family's in the clear. They arrived back from a trip to China yesterday arvo. Couple of bags were still in the hall.'

  'So when are you coming back?' asked Jill. Alibi or no, she and Scotty had thought it unlikely Jiang Lee would have carried through his threats to kill Carter. An accountant from Strathfield in Sydney's Inner West, Lee was a Buddhist with two young kids and a wife. He might have wanted Carter dead, but he just wasn't the type to kill him.

  'I'm coming in now. You want to go for a swim and get some KFC?'

  Jill smiled. 'Yeah, whatever. See you when you get here.'

  Within thirty seconds of re-scanning the database, she'd dropped the smile. Manzi and Rocla had both been investigated for separate alleged sex offences dating back at least ten years. The three victims had not come forward until they were young adults. She noted the COPS event numbers that linked the complaints to the men, and typed one of the numbers into the computer. The database accessed a 2001 complaint by a then 18-year-old man who'd claimed that eight years earlier Manzi had raped him in a caravan. She copied down the complainant's name and address – a home in Castle Hill. She copied the contact number into her notebook and picked up the phone. Travis O'Hare.

  Ten minutes later, Jill's blue eyes were wide. O'Hare no longer lived at the Castle Hill address, but she'd managed to speak to his older brother. He didn't have a lot of time for Travis, but his diatribe against him had thrown up an interesting detail. A coincidence? Maybe. Jill accessed the database again and located contacts for Rocla's two victims.

  'Scotty, where are you now?' She had the phone tucked under her ear, leaving her hands free to shove her notes into her briefcase. 'We're driving out to Richmond this afternoon to interview the shrink. You're not gonna believe this.'

  7

  WAYNE CRABBE HAD TRIED singles clubs and got lucky a few times, but he found it was a lot of work to get to the action in the end. The women were more careful these days, and would usually expect to be taken out a few times before you got to meet their kids. Then they'd be watchful for a while, and before you knew it you were spending half your life with a fat, ugly hag waiting for moments that might never come. And the longer you were with these bitches, the more they could learn about you. He hated the waiting. He wanted to be in and out. Minimum of fuss. No harm done.

  Wayne had come up with the job offer idea while with a western suburbs troll who had a beautiful nine-year-old boy. She'd desperately wanted a job and all she ever did was whine about how hard it was to find one. When he met another mum one morning in a doctor's surgery, scanning the job ads, he came up with the plan on the spot.

  'Excuse me,' he smiled at Rose Deloso, a dark-haired woman wearing a neat tracksuit. 'You're not looking for a job, are you?'

  The woman looked him over, her brow furrowed, and said nothing. He nodded at the columns in the paper she was poring over.

  'It's just that I'm having trouble filling a job.' He smiled reassuringly, trying hard not to look at the boy playing with Lego at her feet. 'You're not by any chance interested in casual work at a café, are you?'

  'Really? Are you serious?' She was smiling now too. 'I mean, yeah, I'm looking for work. Are you for real?'

  'Yep. You wouldn't believe how hard it's been getting someone to work the hours we need.'

  'Well, I'm only looking for school-hours work.' She looked at him doubtfully, 'I've got to pick the kids up at three. Well, except for Fridays, when their dad's got them.'

  'It's hard, isn't it, when you're on your own?' Wayne tried for empathy. 'I've just got one son. Me and his mum thought it would be best to have him a week each. It's working out pretty well, but only because my mother can drop him at school. I'm right to pick him up. You don't have anyone to help you out?'

  'Nope. My parents still work themselves. It's just me, I'm afraid.'

  Bingo.

  Wayne smiled again, warm, but professional. 'Well, I can't promise you the job now, but we actually need someone ten till two, for the lunchtime crowd. Monday to Friday. If that suits, we could both be happy.'

  'Oh my God, I can't believe this,' she laughed. 'This is the last thing I thought would happen here.' She self-consciously smoothed her ponytail, sat straighter, and shushed her delicious five-year-old boy, who was playing with the germ-infested clinic toys. 'Well, what should we do? How can I apply? Should I give you my mobile number?'

  As easy as that.

  'Look,' he said, thinking fast. 'You should have a look at the place first.' He gave her the location of a Burwood café he frequented. It was next to the railway station and was popular with the after-school rush.

  'Listen though,' he added, leaning forward slightly, 'I'm the owner, not the manager, and the manageress is a bit, well, territorial. She likes to do the hiring and firing.' He smiled with chagrin, shrugged his shoulders. 'Would you mind not saying anything about the job when you have a look? Save me any conflict with Cath? I'll speak to her and call you in for a formal interview if she hasn't found anyone. What do you think?'

  'Yeah, okay. Sure. I'll go have a look. And you'll call about an interview?' Rose was standing now, hurrying her son. Her name had been announced by the receptionist; it was her turn to see the doctor.

  'I'll call you tomorrow,' he said, tucking her number into his pocket. Now to get into her house.

  Wayne called Rose the next morning. Could she come in for an interview? Eleven tomorrow? Great.

  Another call that afternoon. So sorry. A last-minute appointment in Brisbane had come up. He'd call her on his return.
r />   Wayne's tone was polite but friendly when he called Rose the third time.