Beautifully Broken Life

by Catherine Cowles

  Beautifully Broken Life

  Catherine Cowles

  Copyright © 2019 by Catherine Cowles and The PageSmith LLC.

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  * * *

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  * * *

  Editor: Susan Barnes

  Copy Editor: Chelle Olson

  Proofreading: Julie Deaton

  Paperback Formatting: Stacey Blake, Champagne Book Designs

  Cover Design: Hang Le

  For all the women who have fought this battle. And for the sisters who helped them do so.

  * * *

  And, as always, for my dad. I carry you with me on every step of this journey. Eternally grateful to be your daughter.

  Contents

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Chapter 38

  Chapter 39

  Chapter 40

  Chapter 41

  Chapter 42

  Chapter 43

  Chapter 44

  Chapter 45

  Chapter 46

  Chapter 47

  Epilogue

  Bonus Scene

  Enjoy This Book?

  Master Blogger List

  Acknowledgments

  Also Available from Catherine Cowles

  About Catherine Cowles

  Stay Connected

  Prologue

  Valerie

  My heart beat so fast, it felt as though it were rattling my ribs, straining to get free. I eyed James from the backseat as he navigated through DC traffic. My driver, but also my warden. I wasn’t sure he even knew it, but he was just the same.

  James turned off the main thoroughfare and onto a quaint side street full of high-end shops and art galleries. I tried to steady my ragged breathing. He pulled to a stop in front of a salon. My port in the storm, the one place he or my fiancé wouldn’t follow.

  I gripped my purse tighter, knuckles bleaching white. “I’ll be a few hours.” I was impressed my voice didn’t shake.

  James nodded. “I know the drill, ma’am. I’ll be keeping an eye out from here.”

  I wanted to laugh, but it would have come out in a disgusted tone. What was James keeping an eye out for exactly? Terrorists? Viking marauders? Certainly not the one person I actually needed protection from.

  Garrett had introduced James innocently enough. All the fiancées and wives of the partners at Garrett’s law firm had drivers. He didn’t want me to have to navigate the craziness of Washington DC traffic. I’d thought it was sweet at the time. But then again, I had thought a lot of things were sweet once upon a time, things that I now realized were stones used to build my prison.

  Then James had become driver and bodyguard. “I’m involved with some very powerful people, Valerie,” Garrett had said. “Someone could try to hurt you to get to me. I just want you to be safe.”

  I rubbed a tender spot on my arm. Apparently, Garrett was the only one who was allowed to hurt me.

  I straightened my spine. Those days were over. “See you in a few hours,” I called over my shoulder as I hopped down from the SUV. My ribs cried out at the motion, but I kept my face perfectly blank.

  I’d become a master at masks over the past few years. No one knew what lurked beneath my surface. The pain that wracked my body and my heart. But, most importantly, no one—save a single soul—knew the plotting and planning I’d been doing for months. It was the only way this might work.

  I pushed open the door to the salon and scanned the busy space. I spotted Gena in the back corner. She’d switched her normal station at the front of the salon with another stylist for today.

  I strode forward, weaving around people to get to my only friend in the world. A nervous smile pulled at her lips as she wrapped me in a hug. I stiffened. Gena immediately pulled back. “Shit. How bad?”

  It had only taken a couple of visits to Gena’s salon for her to begin to put the pieces together about my relationship. She hadn’t pushed, though. Then, one day after she’d caught sight of the bruises around my neck that I’d attempted to hide with a scarf, she’d leaned down and whispered in my ear, “You don’t deserve this. No one does. When you’re ready to talk, I’m here.” My story had spilled out in small bursts over the following months. And Gena and her salon had become my only port in the storm that was my life.

  I shook myself from the memory and attempted a smile that came out as more of a grimace. “Not bad.” And compared to other times, it wasn’t. I had been careless. Gotten distracted as I was going over the plan in my mind and hadn’t heard my phone ring at first. I had three rings to answer, but two was really best. Anything over three, and I would pay for it. And when Garrett had gotten home last night, I had.

  Gena’s lips pressed together into a firm line. “We are going to get you out of this.”

  I gripped her hand. “I know. Thank you so much.”

  “Anything for you, girl. Now, let’s give you a new look.”

  An hour and a half later, I fingered the ends of my new bob. Gone were my long, golden locks, and in their place was a shoulder-length brunette ‘do. I examined my reflection in the mirror. I looked different, I just wished I could do something about my eyes.

  I’d always loved my eyes. They were the same as my mother’s. One of the few things I had of hers since she’d died in childbirth. But their almost violet hue made them too unique.

  Gena squeezed my shoulder. “I got you contacts. They’ll only last two weeks, but it’s long enough for you to get wherever you end up going, and then it won’t matter as much.”

  I felt a flash of pain at having to hide what little I had left of my mother, but I knew it was necessary. “You’ve thought of everything.”

  Gena squeezed my shoulder again. “We’ve thought of everything. He’s not going to find you this time.”

  I’d tried to run once before, but I’d made the mistake of taking off with no real plans and using my credit card at a hotel. Garrett had found me in less than twenty-four hours, and his reaction had ensured I didn’t even consider running again for over a year.

  I let out a long, slow breath. I was smarter now. Stronger. I had planned for every possibility. I rose from the chair. “Let’s do this.”

  Gena led me back to a large bathroom where she handed me a paper bag. “Your contacts and a different out
fit.”

  I peeked into the bag, and a smile pulled at my lips. Jeans, a t-shirt, and a hoodie. How long had it been since I’d worn something so casually comfortable? I honestly couldn’t remember. College, maybe? I fought the urge to rip off the pencil skirt and cardigan I was wearing.

  Gena cleared her throat. “First, we have to take pictures.”

  I froze. It was a vital step, I knew it. Something we’d started doing a couple of months ago. An insurance policy. Because if Garrett did come after me, I’d need all the firepower possible in my arsenal.

  “Okay.” I hated how weak my voice sounded. Despised that my hands shook as I unbuttoned my sweater and unzipped my skirt. Shame, thick and bitter, washed over me as the click and whir of a Polaroid camera sounded. I wanted to be stronger, to not allow the actions of someone else to make me feel this way, but I couldn’t stop the cascade of emotions.

  I bit my lip to keep the tears at bay as Gena circled me, photographing the bruises that littered my arms and torso. She’d take two sets. One for me, and one for herself to put in a safety deposit box in her name. We were covering all our bases.

  “I’m done.” Gena’s voice cracked on the second word. “I’m so sorry, V. He’s a fucking bastard.” She lifted my chin with a single finger. “None of this is your fault. You hear me? There is nothing you could’ve ever done to deserve this, okay?”

  I nodded, the ball of emotion in my throat keeping me from speaking. I threw my arms around her, ignoring the protests of my ribs. “Thank you. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

  I didn’t. Gena was the only person I had in this world. All I had was a dead mother, the grandparents who’d disowned her—and me by affiliation—and a big question mark for a father. Without Gena, I would be totally and completely alone. Tears spilled over my bottom lids.

  Gena sniffled in my ear. “I’m going to miss you like crazy. But don’t contact me for any reason. Promise me.”

  This was the hardest part of it all. Knowing that for this to work, we could have zero communication. Garrett had no idea that we were even friends, but he would scour the lives of every person I had regular contact with. We couldn’t take the chance.

  “I know.” I pulled back. “Maybe we’ll luck out, and he’ll get hit by a car crossing the street.”

  Gena snorted. “That’s too kind a death for him.”

  “He’ll lose interest in me eventually. Then, I can get in touch.”

  Gena looked skeptical but nodded. I made quick work of pulling on the jeans, tee, and hoodie. When I slipped my feet into the pair of Converse sneakers, I wanted to sigh with pleasure. Never again would I wear shoes that pinched my toes simply because a man wanted me to.

  Gena handed me a new purse. “There are four bus tickets and three train tickets in here. Don’t tell me which one you think you’ll use. I also gave you my ID. Use it until you get where you’re going and then burn it. I’m sure Garrett will search for my name since this is the last place you’ll have been seen.”

  I nodded and licked my lips.

  Gena pressed on. “There’s a small suitcase with the basics in my trunk. Don’t put the contacts in until after you’ve gone to the pawnshop.”

  Gena was right. If Garrett somehow managed to track my engagement ring, I didn’t want some pawnshop employee telling him I had brown hair and brown eyes. Garrett needed to think I was running in the same clueless fashion I had before. But I wasn’t. I was smarter now, and I was going to win my freedom.

  I fingered the ends of my newly cut strands. “Do you have something I could use to cover my hair?”

  “Shit. I didn’t even think about that. Hold on.” Gena dug through her bag. “Here.” She handed me a beanie. “This should do the trick.”

  “Perfect.” I glanced at my watch and swallowed hard. “I better go.”

  Gena cleared her throat. “Be safe and be happy.”

  “I will.” I pulled the beanie over my head and tucked my hair inside the woven cap.

  Gena led the way out of the bathroom and down a narrow hall to the salon’s back door. The door opened to a miniscule parking lot with five cars. We headed towards Gena’s Ford Explorer. She handed me the keys. “There are sunglasses in the console. Wear them until you make it past Hulk out front.”

  I threw my arms around her one more time. “I love you, G.”

  “Love you more.” Her voice sounded choked. “Now, get out of here. Quick.”

  There was a burning in my chest as I let her go. I was about to be totally and completely alone. But alone is better than dead.

  I climbed into the SUV and turned over the engine. It had been so long since I’d driven, I hoped I didn’t get into an accident. Carefully, I backed out of the parking space and headed for the driveway, taking only a moment to glance at Gena in the rearview mirror. She stood with her hands in her pockets, brows furrowed, nibbling on her bottom lip.

  I forced myself to look away. I could do this. I held my breath as I reached the end of the drive. The dark SUV that housed James sat, unmoving. I pulled into traffic, and my heart rattled again as I passed the vehicle. My eyes darted from the street in front of me to the SUV in my rearview mirror. It didn’t follow. Step one had been a success.

  I let out the breath I’d been holding and headed for a sketchy part of town.

  I sat in the front seat of the Explorer, counting my cash. The pawnshop owner had raked me over the coals. He had smelled my desperation from a mile away and had only given me a fraction of a fair price for my massive diamond engagement ring and Rolex watch. There had been nothing I could do about it. I was running out of time, and I had to take what I could get.

  I stuck the money into my purse and pulled out the array of ticket options Gena had purchased for me. I flipped through them. All big cities. New York. New Orleans. Minneapolis. My fingers stilled on a bus ticket to Portland, Oregon. It had to be a sign. I hoped against hope that it was. Maybe my mother was looking after me and guiding my steps from above.

  Even if she weren’t, and this was just some random coincidence, it didn’t matter. I was on my way, and now I had a destination. Come hell or high water, I was getting my life back.

  1

  Tessa

  TWO YEARS LATER

  Sunlight warmed my face as I stretched, freeing my arms from the confines of the covers. I kept sleeping better and better. It had taken me months to get used to the unfamiliar noises of the country. Every cricket chirping or creak of my older apartment had me reaching for my bag to run. But I’d slowly become accustomed to the rhythms of Sutter Lake, Oregon. The sounds became comforting, the faces familiar. I’d relaxed.

  I was still cautious. Careful. Always on alert to a degree. But I was no longer in a constant state of panic that Garrett would be around the next corner. I pushed to a seated position. Time to start the day. My routine was always the same.

  Setting coffee to brew as I brushed my teeth and got dressed. Check the wooden boards I’d placed in the windows to prevent them from being opened from the outside. Move the cans filled with coins from in front of my apartment door to beside it. Double-check that my go-bag had all the essentials to make a run for it if needed. That bag was never more than five feet from me at any time. My security measures were low-tech, but they gave me that little extra reassurance that I would be fine no matter what.

  I pulled my hair back into a braid. I’d let it grow out from the short bob Gena had given me but kept the darker brown color just in case. My heart panged at the memory of my friend. We’d had no contact, just as promised, but I longed for the intimacy of a friendship where you knew everything about each other.

  I simply couldn’t afford that now. My chest tightened. Gena had already lost so much because she’d helped me. I wouldn’t put someone else through that just because I was lonely.

  Moving the cans to the side of the entryway, I grabbed my bag and pulled open the door. Stepping into the hall, I listened for any unfamiliar sounds. All I heard was the
hum of the walk-in fridge in the tea shop below and the rustling of the wind through the leaves outside. Pulling the door closed slowly, I carefully slipped a small piece of paper into the jamb next to the hinges. When I got home, if the paper was on the floor, it meant that someone had been in my apartment, and it was time to run again.

  I closed my eyes against the painful idea. I loved Sutter Lake. The people were kind. The scenery was beautiful. It was home. And I would do anything I could to stay here.

  I hurried down the steps and out the back door, being careful to double-check locks on my way out. The sun reflected off the beater of a car I’d bought off Craigslist for $1000 and never registered in my name. I’d had to steal registration stickers off vehicles that didn’t seem to be in use. I’d left silent apologies in my wake, and cash for the fee in the people’s mailboxes.

  There had been no way around it. I needed a car, especially in a tiny town in the middle of nowhere. It was one more weapon for my arsenal in the battle to keep my freedom. It was also how I got to the first of my two jobs. The job I loved.