Beautifully Broken Life

by Catherine Cowles

  The muscles that had relaxed tightened again. “I’m sorry, I can’t.” I hated the words the minute they left my mouth.

  Liam’s brow furrowed. “How about another night?”

  I fisted the edge of my apron. “I, um, don’t date.” It was the most truthful statement I could come up with.

  Liam’s eyes searched mine. His look was warm and compassionate, yet searching for something. “All right. Well, you let me know if that ever changes. I should have your car ready for you in a few days.”

  I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. I’d been preparing myself for anger, or at the very least, frustration. I shuddered at what Garrett would have done if I ever told him no. Guilt flooded me. Liam was not Garrett. I had to stop assuming the worst. I could be cautious and prepared without thinking that every man in the world was a Garrett in the making.

  “Okay.” The word came out on a whisper. “Thank you for asking me.” I couldn’t hold his stare as I said it, opting for the riveting view of the floor instead.

  “Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?”

  I looked back up, the warmth in Liam’s eyes holding me captive. “Right.”

  He knocked on the edge of the counter. “I’ll see you in a few days.”

  “Okay.” I watched as he walked out, realizing that he didn’t get his snack. I started to follow when my gaze caught on a figure across the street, one in a ballcap. My breathing and heart seemed to stop. He was staring right through the windows of the shop. No, no, no. I blinked my eyes a few times as my hands fisted. Garrett? Similar build, but I couldn’t see his face. My breathing started again but came in rapid pants.

  The figure turned and waved to a woman heading towards him. I stilled my trembling hands against my legs. Not Garrett. Just a tourist in a baseball cap. I needed to get a grip.

  12

  Liam

  The bell sounded as I pushed open the door to The Tea Kettle. Jensen and Tessa looked up from the sheet of paper they were studying on the counter. Jensen grinned. “Back for more?”

  Seeing that the café was mostly empty, I pulled off my ballcap. “I’m hoping those chocolate potato chip cookies made it onto the menu.” My gaze met Tessa’s. There was a little hint of pink on her cheeks. So fucking adorable. “And I wanted to update Tessa about her car.”

  Jensen looked from me to Tessa, and her grin widened. “Well, you’ll be happy to know the chocolate potato chip cookies were a hit. I think you’re making those next, right, Tessa?”

  Tessa wrapped and unwrapped the string of her apron around her finger. “They should be ready in about an hour if you’re going to stick around.”

  “I was going to hang out and work for a bit, this place has some good creative mojo.” More like Tessa had some good creative mojo, but I didn’t think admitting that would work in my favor. And I needed all the help I could get. I tightened my grip on the battered notebook in my hand. I’d gotten an email from my label that morning, asking when I thought I’d be ready to get back in the studio. Since all I had was the flicker of one song, I wasn’t thinking anytime soon. Fuck. I needed the music to start flowing again.

  Jensen broke my downward spiral of thoughts. “You’re welcome to work here.”

  “Thanks.” I looked back at Tessa. “I also wanted to let you know that they had to order a few parts for your car, so it’s going to take a bit longer than I thought.” A flash of worry filled Tessa’s expression before she covered it. “I could take you to get a rental car if that would help.”

  Tessa shook her head. “No, I’ll be fine. Thanks again for doing this for me.”

  “It’s no problem. Like I said, you’re giving me something to do.” Something other than slamming my head against a wall, trying to write.

  Tessa studied me, a bit of curiosity tinging her gaze. “Aren’t you working on your music?”

  “I’m trying to.” I wasn’t quite ready to admit what a total failure I’d been on that front lately. “But it helps to have something else to work on when I’m writing, especially a project using my hands. But even just a change of scenery can help.”

  Tessa nodded. “Well, good luck with it. I better get that dough made.”

  She made her way back to the kitchen, and I was left alone with Jensen. She smirked at me. “Why do I have a feeling it’s not our baked goods bringing you back to our fine establishment?”

  I felt heat creep up my neck. “Are you doubting the quality of your baked goods?”

  Jensen scoffed. “I know lust when I see it, Hollywood. Just tread carefully, okay?”

  “Is there a particular reason I should be careful?” I had no plans to be reckless with Tessa, but I wanted to see if Jensen would give me any clues about Tessa’s past.

  Jensen’s eyes narrowed on me. “If you have to ask that question, you shouldn’t be sniffing around in the first place.”

  I held up my hands in a placating gesture. “Fair enough.” I met Jensen’s gaze, letting her see nothing but honesty in mine. “I’m being as careful as I can.” The set of Jensen’s shoulders eased a bit. “Now, how about loading me up with some music-writing fuel?”

  “That I can do.”

  I scribbled furiously, scratching out a handful of words and replacing them with new finds. I was getting there. Closer, anyway. I just needed one more line in this verse—

  The chair across from me scraped against the floor as it was pulled back. The bottle blonde from my first visit to the Kettle eased onto the seat. I tried to keep the scowl from my lips. I really didn’t want to be interrupted, not when I was making progress on a song for the first time in months.

  The blonde…what was her name? Bambi? Barbara? No, Bridgette. Bridgette leaned over the table, giving me a perfect view of the breasts she was pressing together. “Hey, Liam.”

  “Hey.” That’s all I gave her. If she’d been a true fan, I would’ve been more polite. But I knew her type, you gave them an inch, and they took a mile.

  She twisted a strand of hair around her finger. “Are you settling in okay?”

  “Yup.”

  “You know…”—Bridgette leaned over even farther, and I worried her boobs would spill right out of her top—“my father owns a lot of rental properties in the area. Places that have more of the amenities you’re used to. He’d be happy to let you stay at one for free—"

  I held up a hand to stop her. “I’m happy where I’m at. Thanks for the offer, though.”

  A flicker of frustration flashed in Bridgette’s eyes. “Just let me know if you change your mind. So…” She reached across the table, picking up my pen. “Working on new music? Can I hear some?”

  My back teeth ground together. Some people had no boundaries. It was like because they saw you in magazines or heard your voice on the radio, they thought they could ask you anything. It was rare that I revealed what I was working on with the people I trusted most in my life, I sure as hell wasn’t going to share with a random chick I barely even knew.

  Just as I was about to tell her as much, Tessa appeared from the kitchen holding a tray of cookies. Her hair was piled on the top of her head, but some wisps had escaped the bun and framed her heart-shaped face. Her eyes seemed to glow as she laughed at something Jensen said to her.

  A hand grasped my forearm that was resting on the table. “Liam—”

  Bridgette’s voice was grating on my ears compared to the purity of Tessa’s laugh. It also brought Tessa’s attention to our table, and her eyes zeroed in on Bridgette’s hand on my arm. Shit. I pulled out of Bridgette’s grasp. “Are those the chocolate potato chip ones?”

  Tessa straightened her shoulders. “Yep. They’ll be in the case if you want one.” And with that, she made a hasty retreat to the kitchen. Double shit.

  Bridgette let out a laugh. “God, she’s so weird. Even the stuff she bakes is weird.” Her words were purposefully loud, carrying into the kitchen.

  I stood from my chair. “You’re a real bitch, you know that?”<
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  13

  Tessa

  I pushed through the back door and into the late-morning sunlight. I needed air. Remnants of the jolt of jealousy I’d felt when I saw Bridgette touching Liam still simmered in my veins. I had no right to be jealous. Liam had asked me to dinner, I’d said no. Of course, he would investigate other options. Though I didn’t know what it said about his intelligence that he would consider Bridgette as one of those options.

  I kicked a rock across the small parking lot and into the alley. I had wanted to say yes to his offer of dinner. That surprised me most of all. I had wanted to say yes. I was so tired of Garrett and my fears holding me back, but I couldn’t see a way around them or a path through them.

  The sound of the back door closing had me spinning around. Liam stood there, looking handsome and oh so pissed. “Are you okay?”

  I wiped my hands on my apron. “I’m fine, just taking my break.”

  Irritation flickered in his eyes. “Don’t lie to me. That girl is a bitch and a half, and you shouldn’t have to deal with anyone treating you that way.”

  My brows rose. It wasn’t that Bridgette’s words didn’t sting, I’d just gotten used to them. “I don’t care what she thinks of me.” It was true. But I did care if it colored Liam’s perception.

  “Good, because she’s lower than a snake's belly in a wagon rut.”

  The expression and the complete sincerity with which Liam said it startled a laugh out of me. “Lower than a snake’s belly in a wagon rut?”

  Liam chuckled, running a hand through his hair. “When I get pissed, my Southern comes out.”

  “Clearly. I appreciate you being pissed on my behalf, but it’s really not necessary.”

  Liam took a step closer to me, the green in his eyes seeming to glow in the sunlight. My belly flipped. He stopped just a foot away from me. “I can’t stand people like her. She reminds me of everything I wanted to get away from in LA.”

  “What do you mean?” I realized I wasn’t sure why Liam was in Sutter Lake.

  He looked out across the field on the other side of the back alley. “Fake, judgemental people. Folks who are so eager to tear others down.”

  My body tensed at the thought of what it must be like to be surrounded by people like that all the time. You’d never feel like you could let your guard down.

  Liam looked back at me. “It gets so old, people wanting a piece of you without caring at all who they’re actually getting a piece of.”

  Our gazes locked. I knew a little something about that. It was different but the same, the way Garrett had taken pieces of me, not caring at all who I actually was or who I wanted to be.

  Liam’s eyes widened as a car’s engine sounded behind me. I started to turn, to look and see what it was, but before I could, Liam yanked me forward with such force it startled a scream out of me. Air rushed by at my back. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a dark SUV fly by.

  “Fuck! What the hell was that guy thinking?” Liam pushed me away from the hard body I’d slammed into when he pulled me against him. His gaze traveled over my face, scanning up and down the length of me. “Are you all right?”

  My entire body began to tremble. What had just happened? Careless driver, or something more? Could Garrett have found me?

  “Tessa? Are you okay?”

  My vision went a bit blurry, and I couldn’t seem to get the words out.

  Liam kept a hold of one of my hands and ushered me towards the back door. “Come on. Let’s get you inside and get you something to drink.”

  I nodded numbly.

  Liam navigated me towards the kitchen, sitting me on a stool while he searched for a glass and filled it with water. He pushed it into my hands. “Here, drink some of this.”

  Jensen peeked her head in. “What’s going on?”

  Liam scowled. “Some asshole just tore through the back alley in his SUV. He nearly ran Tessa over.”

  “Seriously? Are you okay, Tessa?” She crossed to me, rubbing a hand up and down my back.

  I swallowed, straightening on the stool. “I’m fine. Just scared me for a minute there.”

  Jensen’s hands went to her hips. “Of course, it did. It has to be one of those dipshit high school boys. There’s a few of them that think it’s hilarious to play speed racer in areas you’re only supposed to go twenty miles an hour.”

  Liam’s scowl deepened. “You should tell Walker what happened so he can keep an eye out.”

  Jensen turned in his direction. “Did you get a license plate? If you did, Walker can arrest them and scare the shit out of them for good measure.”

  “I didn’t get a good look. It all happened so fast, and I was worried about getting Tessa out of the way.” Liam studied me carefully. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  I forced what felt like a wobbly smile. “I’m fine, really.” It was just immature boys.

  14

  Liam

  Another evening with no plans. Here I was, wandering the streets of Sutter Lake, finding myself pulled towards The Tea Kettle. Tessa had already said no to dinner, and the pain in her eyes when I’d asked meant that I wouldn’t be repeating that question anytime soon.

  What was it about Tessa? I couldn’t put my finger on it. Maybe it was the mystery surrounding her. All the unanswered questions. Maybe it was because I had written my first lyrics in months when I was around her. Maybe it was just that she pulled back instead of leaning forward. I had gotten so used to people clamoring for my attention, it was weirdly nice that Tessa seemed to have no need for it.

  I rounded the corner that brought the Kettle into view—closed up tight for the night, no one sitting on the porch. Disappointment flooded me. I’d gotten my hopes up for a few traded words. A glimpse of those hypnotizing eyes.

  My gaze caught on a figure bent over near the side of the building. A long, brown braid hung down the figure’s back. My heart picked up speed, just a little, as did my stride. This time, I remembered her jumpiness and called out while I was still more than ten feet away. “Hey, Tessa.”

  Her head snapped in my direction, her braid swinging around. My footsteps stuttered when I caught sight of her face. It was white as a sheet, her expression stricken. “Liam. Can you help me? I don’t know what to do. I think his leg might be broken. I don’t have a car to take him to a vet, and my phone just died. Who would do this to a little defenseless thing like him?” Her words ran together like one long, run-on sentence.

  “Hold on, what’s going—?” My words halted when I saw the tiny orange ball of fur in her hands. Shit.

  Tessa held up the kitten for my inspection. “His leg and his back. Look.”

  The poor creature’s fur was matted with blood. A long gash ran along its back, and one of the kitten’s legs looked bent at an angle that wasn’t natural. “Okay. We need to get him to a vet. Is there one in town?”

  Tessa glanced at her watch, cradling the kitten carefully in her other hand. “Not one that’s open now. There’s an emergency vet the next town over, but I don’t have my car.”

  “I’ve got my SUV around the corner, we can take that.” I started to walk, but Tessa didn’t follow. Her gaze went from me to the kitten to the building behind us, her brows pinched together as if following me would cause her physical pain. My stomach dropped. Someone had hurt her badly. I wanted to rip whoever it was limb from limb. This woman’s trust was nonexistent.

  I pulled out my phone. “Do you want me to call Jensen instead? It might take her a bit to get here, but I’ll wait with you until she does.”

  Tessa looked down at the kitten in her arms and then straightened her spine. “No. There’s not enough time. Just let me grab my bag.”

  “Okay.” Why did her acquiescence to just riding in the car with me feel like I’d just won the lottery?

  Tessa walked quickly but carefully up the porch and grabbed her purse. “Can you pull up Caldwell Mill Animal Clinic on your phone so you know where we’re heading?”

  I punched i
n the name on my screen, bringing up a map. “Let’s go.”

  We hurried down the street and back towards my Escalade. I went straight to the passenger-side door, beeping the locks and pulling it open. Tessa did a good job of disguising her hesitation, her stride stalling only briefly before she forced herself forward and up into the vehicle. That hesitation, I realized, was pure fear. The knowledge burned my gut.

  I did my best to hide the rage that was now scorching my veins. I slowly, and with as little force as possible, closed the door behind her. Jogging, I rounded the car and got in, bringing the engine to life. “How’s he doing?” I asked with a quick glance in Tessa’s direction.

  Her face was filled with worry as she stared down at the kitten. “I’m not sure.” The poor guy was wrapped in Tessa’s flannel shirt. I took in the fact that she was wearing only a tank top and that the temperature outside was in the forties.

  I reached into my backseat with one hand while my other remained on the wheel. I felt around for the sweatshirt I’d tossed back there the other day before my run. “Here you go. You must be cold.”

  Our fingers brushed as I handed her the bundle, her smooth skin sending shivers up my arm with just that barest touch.

  “Thank you,” she said, her voice soft. “I’ll put it on when we get out of the car.”

  She didn’t want to jostle the creature in her arms. I turned up the heat. The navigation on my phone called out directions and declared that we’d arrive in twelve minutes. I shifted in my seat. “Have you seen him around before?”

  Tessa stroked a tiny part of the cat’s fur that seemed unmarred. He let out a small meow. “Only once. I’ve been putting out milk, and he’s been drinking that, but he hasn’t wanted anyone to get too close, I don’t think.”