If Only

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If Only Page 18

by Daya Daniels


  When Scarlett tugged on the hem of my shirt, I grimaced.

  “I want to see it, Mia. It’s beautiful.” She urged.

  I dropped my hands, allowing her to pull it up and over my head. Then she unsnapped my bra, exposing my breasts. She dropped to her knees in front of me, running her hands over my protruding stomach.

  Scarlett looked up at me and whispered, “Beautiful.”

  It almost made me cry. Her hands tugged on the elastic waistband of my pants. I slipped out of them, still feeling self-conscious.

  “I want to see.” I whispered, pulling on her shirt.

  Scarlett smiled and undressed quickly but before I could get a good look at what I’d wondered about for far too long, kissed me hard, nudging me towards the bed. When I sat on the edge, I took in her curves. Perfect breasts, a slim waist, wide hips and toned legs. This woman was gorgeous. I was certain her husband missed this.

  Why was I even thinking about him?

  I had to accept that if we took this step, we wouldn’t be able to go back. I already had feelings for her. What if she goes back to him? I was sure Christian was doing everything he could to get her back. Maybe even just waiting it out, hoping she would change her mind. Inwardly, I chastised myself. I needed to be in this moment, not anywhere else.

  I kissed her this time when she came closer. It was hungry and desperate. It had been so long since I’d been touched. I was like a horny rabbit, rushing to feel every inch of her skin. I imagined sex with her without the obstruction of my stomach and lewd, racing images appeared in my mind. I knew Scarlett was only being as gentle as she was because I was pregnant. The things I would do to this woman, once this baby was out!

  I stared at the ceiling in hot anticipation of what was going to come next. Before I could glance again at Scarlett, her tongue was on my flesh and I was already coming apart at the seams.

  Scarlett

  I hoped I could calm Mia’s nerves. Her hands shook uncontrollably as I sat her on the edge of the bed, nudging her to lie back. The sound of her erratic breathing filled my ears, when I parted her thighs, staring at her pussy. She was already wet. I pressed my nose to her soft skin, inhaling the natural scent, letting it invade my senses. It had been so long since I’d been with a woman. Wanting to savor the taste of her, I pressed my lips to her clit and kissed it, before swiping it with my tongue and sucking. Mia’s legs shook and a loud cry escaped her throat, which only encouraged me, driving my own excitement into overdrive. I ran my tongue along the seam of her swollen pussy, slipping it into the tight hole, tasting everything that dripped from her. She groaned loud, when I did it again, fucking her with my tongue.

  Pressing my nose to the inside of her thighs, I reached up and squeezed her breasts. They were swollen and large and full of milk that I wanted to taste. I don’t know what that said about me. I eased back down to her pussy, sliding a hand down between my legs, while I feasted on her flesh until she was screaming and so was I. Just the sight of her in front of me with her legs parted and her face contorted, while she caressed my skin with her hands, was enough to have me throbbing around my own soaked fingers.

  I suckled her clit hard, doing it a few times, taking in the sight of her quivering thighs. They shivered and shook, each time my tongue teased her flesh. I brushed my nose over her clit a few times, driving her to an almost insane place, while she grappled for me. Soft cries left her mouth, while I continued rubbing my clit at the same time. She was beautiful. Her long brown hair, fell out around her on the white sheets. Her belly was round but still proportionate to the rest of her body and her breasts were full. She was absolutely gorgeous. I ran a few kisses down the line of her stomach, running my hands over the bump. Then settled between her legs again. I moaned when Mia did, dragging my fingers in and out of me. I was wet, begging for it, needing to come myself. I moaned against Mia’s pussy, licking and sucking hard until she yelped and became an absolute fucking mess in front of me, screaming and shivering when she came.

  I bit my lip, feeling my own orgasm as it racked through me, fucking my own pussy with my fingers. I slumped against the inside of her thigh, taking in the sight of her parted legs and soaking wet skin, from where I’d just finished my meal, knowing I would be right back there soon for dessert. I placed a kiss on her thigh, sliding up to rest next to her, still panting.

  “That was nice, wasn’t it?” I asked.

  Mia only nodded. She licked her lips, still breathing hard and kept her gaze on the ceiling.

  I ran a hand over her belly, allowing it to linger where the baby settled. Mia placed a hand over mine.

  “Tell me your deepest darkest secret.” I joked.

  Mia laughed at first and rolled away from me. When she faced me again, her brown eyes were watery.

  “I’m terrified of having this baby alone. I know I put up a tough exterior but I’m scared, Scarlett.”

  A single tear fell from Mia’s eye. I wiped it away with the pad of my finger.

  “I have no idea what I’m doing.” She mumbled.

  “You have me. You’re not alone.”

  Mia looked at me and laughed softly. “You still love him.”

  “Yes, and I probably always will.

  “I tried to hate him and I just can’t.” I whispered. “But I could love you too.”

  Mia giggled and I kissed her.

  “Please don’t go tonight. Stay with me.”

  I gave her a long look, then agreed.

  We pulled the comforter back and slipped under the sheets. I placed my front to Mia’s back, leaving my hand to rest on her large belly.

  “I’m scared too.” I whispered into Mia’s hair. “We can be scared together.”

  She placed her hand on top of mine intertwining our fingers and laughed a little. When Mia’s breathing eased, I knew she’d fallen asleep. Eventually, I shut my eyes.

  Mia

  There was a yellow Post-It note stuck to a glass of orange juice, when I awoke. It said ‘Get a good breakfast – didn’t want to wake you. Will call.’

  Scarlett was gone. It was seven o’clock in the morning and then the sunlight was peeking through the drapes. I was still tired and the baby had pushed itself deep into my pelvis, making me a little uncomfortable. I went to the bathroom to relieve my achy bladder. I washed my face and brushed my teeth, then stood straight to look at my profile in the mirror. I was big and I grimaced at the thought that I would be getting even bigger soon. My brown hair was messy and my cheeks were pink. I felt good otherwise.

  Butterscotch peeked her head in the bathroom door and whimpered. She was hungry and so was I. I picked her up and scrubbed her head. She let out a little bark. We headed towards the kitchen, inhaling the delicious scent of food. A frying pan rested on the stove. I removed the top to find a delicious red and green pepper omelet in there that Scarlett had cooked. Usually, I would just eat a bowl of cereal and that was only because I was pregnant. Any other time, I would eat nothing and just gulp down three cups of coffee while sitting at my desk to get me going.

  I placed a bowl of food on the floor for Butterscotch, which she quickly ate from, wagging her tail. I sat at the center island after I warmed the omelet and made a slice of toast and some tea. Looking at the plate again, I smiled. It was such a nice gesture. The only time I had omelets were if I ate out. There was no way I could have made this for myself. Scarlett would need to teach me how to cook. I had a half hour to finish this, get dressed and go to work.

  Mia

  Connor tapped on his glass of water as the corners of his lips quirked up into a smile.

  “I have a massive hangover but this makes me happy, Mia.”

  I smiled.

  “She’s gay.”

  “No.” I said firmly. “She’s bisexual, like Lauren.”

  Connor nodded. “And she likes you?”

  “Yes, I hope so. I don’t know I guess I just feel weird being pregnant and all. I mean what woman is going to find me sexy right now.”

 
“Apparently, Scarlett. Fuck, I love her name.” Connor laughed. “And I like her. She’s everything opposite of Lauren and she’s way prettier.”

  Connor’s brown eyes glared at me when he said the last three words. “Have you two had the are we dating or are we a couple talk yet?”

  “No!” I said throwing my hands up. “Scarlett hasn’t said anything. I mean she’s not even divorced yet. I guess she’s relaxed about it all. I’m the one it seems that’s all bent out of shape.”

  “I get that. She probably doesn’t want to be in anything heavy right now and dating a pregnant woman is heavy stuff. You need to relax, Mia.”

  I nodded. “Yeah, I know but I think Scarlett has always wanted children but the selfish husband never wanted to give her any.”

  “Is that why they broke up?”

  “Nope, it’s far worse. Far worse. I don’t even know how she even manages to still love the guy.”

  Connor bobbed his head a few times. “That bad, huh?”

  “Yes, really bad.”

  “Scarlett seems comfortable with her sexuality. She isn’t hiding it. It’s just that she’s been married to man for fifteen years. She loves him.”

  “I like her.” Connor said sitting up straight. “I’m surprised you’re even out for lunch today.”

  I chuckled. “Yeah, I know. I was able to steal a few hours away from my desk but I will likely have to work late tonight again.”

  “Always working Mia, no time for love.”

  “How’d you manage to get off today anyways?” I asked looking at the head to toe grey sweat outfit he was wearing.

  Connor’s office was just down the street from mine, so we found time whenever we could to meet for lunch or after work. It was convenient, especially if I was having a bad day.

  “I just took the day off.” He said. “You should try it Mia, it works wonders.”

  I gave Connor a dry laugh, taking the last bite of my turkey sandwich.

  “Maybe this is a new start for you, Mia. Your chance at love again.”

  I hunched down in the chair. “While pregnant?”

  “Yes! While pregnant. I don’t know why that seems so crazy to you. You’re still beautiful Mia and sexy and smart. You’re just pregnant now, that’s the only difference. I’m pretty sure Scarlett sees it that way too.

  “And you’ve been spending so much time with her. I have to wonder if she’s a little invested in the bundle you’re carrying inside you.”

  “I wouldn’t mind if she was.” I said honestly. “And I think she is.”

  “Well there you go, Mia. The answer to your prayers and maybe hers too.”

  “I hadn’t thought of it that way.”

  “You should. Things are never as complicated as you always make them baby girl.” Connor touched my cheek with his hand.

  “Has she asked for any money?”

  “No, no nothing like that and if she did, she would pay me back. The husband is still taking care of her and she has her business now but he has money. I’m sure of it.

  “Scarlett told me he took over his father’s accounting firm, years ago, and then expanded it into some sort of alternative investment management company. I’m sure it’s worth millions.”

  “Yeah, more than likely.” Connor agreed.

  “I just feel bad for Scarlett. I know my pity doesn’t help but she just seems like she’s trying to put herself first now. I know she’s going through the ringer but I admire that she keeps pushing on.

  “I don’t get how that asshole could lose her.”

  “Well, his trash, your treasure Mia!” Connor said, waving a hand around.

  “Scarlett isn’t trash.”

  “Mia, it’s a saying.” Connor said, tilting his head forward. “But you get what I mean.”

  “Yes.”

  “Don’t worry about him. You gals do your thing, find your happiness. Maybe I’ll be going to a wedding in the future for you two perfect ladies.” Connor said smiling.

  “She slept with him.” I told Connor. “The husband.”

  His eyes darted around. “She told you that.”

  I hummed a yes.

  “Well, she told you. It’s not like she lied.”

  I pursed my lips, unsure if I agreed with Connor’s reasoning.

  “Mia, she’s been with the man for seventeen years. He could probably push a fucking knife through her heart and she’d still be in love with him.”

  I blew out a breath, considering Connor’s words. He was right.

  “Before I forget to tell you, Rory and I broke up.”

  I sighed.

  Connor went through boyfriends like rolls of toilet paper. As soon as he finished with one, he unwrapped another. My best friend had no plans to settle down indefinitely, with any man.

  “What happened? He was just with you yesterday.”

  “I don’t know. He can just be weird. Anti-social to the extreme and rude and he doesn’t give me my space when I need it. Next!”

  I laughed.

  “I’m sure you will find another boyfriend.”

  “Your damn right, I will!”

  “Oh, my God, you’re incredible.” I giggled. “One day, you’re going to meet your match playboy.”

  Scarlett

  “This is the lease.” Janet, the realtor I was just introduced to explained, shoving a bundle of papers towards me. “You will need to look it over and read the fine print.”

  I nodded, taking them from her and looking around again.

  Janet was an older woman, kind of chubby with a face full of caked on makeup and bright red hair.

  After scanning the apartment rental listings for over a week, I found a one bedroom apartment in Lake View. It had one and a half baths, a modern kitchen and was across the street from a park.

  Christian had given me enough money to be able to afford somewhere better. I knew it was maybe a ploy so he could get back in my good graces. I didn’t care right now I supposed. I was just happy to have a nice place that wasn’t a shithole.

  Justin was back to school at the Feinberg School of Medicine and sent me the occasional text message every now and again, saying I was the sexiest MILF he’s ever met. He was a sweet kid that would make some young woman very happy one day.

  Janet looked me over, narrowing her eyes. “First place alone?”

  “Yeah, something like that.”

  Janet nodded. “So, you finally left him?”

  I froze in place and looked Janet over. She took the pencil from behind her ear and shoved it into her purse.

  “I know that look. The breakup look, I call it.”

  I gave her a small smile. Was it that obvious?

  Janet and I walked towards the door. “You will have three days to get all of the paperwork back to me.”

  “Okay.” I said unrolling the forms again, looking them over.

  When I raised my head, Janet was still looking at me. “You will find someone. You’re lovely…not to worry.” She said pointing a finger in the air. “I don’t know if you were married.”

  I nodded. “Still legally married actually.”

  “You poor thing.”

  “Well, I used to have a husband too, once upon a time. He died nearly twenty-years ago.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Oh, don’t be. He used to treat me like shit. My parents were Catholic. They didn’t believe in divorce but when he died it was like boom.” She said.

  I covered a laugh with a cough, stunned by Janet’s honesty.

  She smiled and did a shimmy. “Since then I’ve been able to live my life.”

  Even now, I couldn’t bear the thought of something happening to Christian and here Janet was giggling about her husband being dead. I didn’t even want to dig into what her real problems could be.

  I must’ve given her a look of disbelief because Janet flicked her wrist in a not to worry gesture.

  I laughed and headed out the door and down the stairs alongside her.

  Mia
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  It was mid-day. I sat in my office eating a shrimp salad.

  The baby was moving like crazy today, all over the place causing me to twist and turn just to get comfortable in my seat. I needed to sort out when I would leave on my maternity sabbatical but I knew I’d try my hardest to push it to the last few days. Then I would be back to work in two months, if I could put it off. I was a bad mother already and the baby wasn’t even out yet.

  I sighed, sticking my fork into a pink shrimp and shoving it into my mouth.

  The day was going by ultra-slow. I couldn’t wait to get home and put my feet up but by the clock, that wouldn’t be happening for another eight hours. I sent Scarlett a few messages. She replied with ‘apartment hunting.’

  We’d known each other for months now but I only realized just now that I didn’t know where she lived. There was a knock on my door getting my attention. My boss Max Berg stood in the door frame, peering in with Diana on his heel. I gave her a nod and she slowly backed away. Max walked in like he owned the place, which technically he did.

  “I thought I’d come to see you since I’m in Chicago this week.” He said giving me a dry smile.

  “It’s good to see you, Mr. Berg.” I said, stepping from behind my desk.

  He shook my hand as his eyes lingered on my large belly. I leaned down to get his attention leading his icy grey eyes back up to mine.

  “I hear you’re on the Yearmart class action suit.”

  “Yes, I am.” I said firmly. “And its going quite well.”

  Mr. Berg unbuttoned his suit jacket and took a seat at the opposite side of my desk. “Solid evidence and witnesses?”

  “Yes, sir. Very. I have little to no doubt that we will win this one.”

  “Are you able to get any sleep with the – the-the.” He said pointing across the desk.

  “The baby?” I asked completing his sentence.

  “Yes.” Mr. Berg said.

  “Yes.”

  “Well, we wouldn’t want the little thing to tire you out. You know pregnancy and childbirth can take a toll on you women. You must make sure you rest up.”

 

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