by Daya Daniels
You women?
I nodded. “I get enough rest.”
“The other cases I’m working on -.”
Mr. Berg spoke again, cutting me off. Surely, he didn’t come into my office to talk the entire time about my pregnancy.
“When does it come out?”
“September.”
“Then you will be back to work?” Mr. Berg nodded.
“Yes, sir after taking some time off. A little time.”
Mr. Berg groaned. “You know I was part of this firm when it all began more than fifty years ago.” Mr. Berg said reminiscing. “I never thought we would ever have a woman make partner in my lifetime.
“Most of the women in my day that worked here got the coffee and donuts.”
I forced a smile.
“And the others provided, special services.” He said with a creepy grin.
“Well times have changed, haven’t they?” I said, hoping my sarcasm wasn’t obvious.
Mr. Berg laughed. “I guess they have. Women’s rights, equal opportunity, Roe v. Wade and all that good stuff.”
I gave Mr. Berg a blank stare, wondering exactly what he expected me to respond to his veiled sexism with.
He looked me over again, raising his brows and then headed for the door.
“Fuck, I hate that guy.” I muttered under my breath, wishing I could say it right to his wrinkly face.
Scarlett
“Scarlett, what is going on?” Beatrice demanded through the phone. “I have been calling you for weeks.”
I sighed. “I know Mom. I’ve just been trying to take care of myself.”
“And avoiding me helps with that?’
Yes.
“Christian said you’re not living at home anymore.”
“I moved out, Mom.”
Beatrice huffed. “What do you mean, Scarlett? He’s your husband.”
“Mom, he got another woman pregnant.”
“Yes, but Scarlett you can’t leave him over this.”
I laughed. “Are you listening to what you’re saying mother? Do you hear the words coming out of your mouth because you sound like a crazy person?”
“Of course, I do.” Beatrice said in an even tone.
I sighed loudly and banged my head lightly against the wall behind me.
Beatrice stuttered before she spoke again. “Scarlett, Christian loves you.”
I didn’t remember my mother once in her life being strong. She never was strong for my sister and I. Beatrice always allowed my father to run all over her, getting his way time and time again. It was sickening.
I banged my head again.
“Yeah, maybe Mom but obviously not enough to not destroy our marriage and be so sloppy, that now he is attached to a former employee of his for the rest of his life.”
Beatrice sighed. “He made a mistake Scarlett, forgive him.”
I let my tears flow. “I may one day be able to Mom but not right now. I just need to start over.
“Do you have any idea how embarrassing this has been for me?” I sobbed out.
“I’m sorry, Scarlett. Divorce is just such a huge step. Maybe just take some time apart before making any rash decisions.”
“We’ve been apart for months now. We are not getting back together. It’s final.”
“Does Christian know that?”
“Yes, no. I don’t know.” I said feeling exasperated. “He can’t expect me to stay with him.”
“Why not, Scarlett? Shit happens. If you let this man go, that woman is going to sink her claws even deeper into him.”
“You know what Mom, I don’t care. He’s already fucked her God knows how many times. I don’t think there is anything more she can take from me, that she doesn’t already have. He probably - .”
“His heart.” Beatrice whispered, interrupting my rant.
“What?” I quipped.
“She doesn’t have his heart Scarlett, you do.” Beatrice said slowly, enunciating each word.
I stretched my legs out on the cool tile floor underneath me, looking around. This place really was a dump.
“It used to be Christian and I. Now it’s Christian, Jacqueline and me. He destroyed us, Mom. Christian let the world and all its mess into our marriage, when he should have cared about it enough to protect it.” I sobbed even more.
Would I ever stop crying?!
“Scarlett.”
“Do you think I wanted this? Do you really think this is how I imagined my life would go? How my marriage would end? Christian and I were supposed to celebrate our anniversary this year in Tokyo. I had a normal life and now it’s all fucked.”
“Scarlett, please don’t swear.”
“I’m sorry, Mom.” I murmured, noticing my trembling hands. “I can’t be with Christian anymore. You don’t think that hurts me too. He’s given me no choice.”
“Why don’t I come and see you tomorrow?” Beatrice suggested.
“No.”
I knew what that meant. It was her way of trying to apply pressure to my decision.
“Okay, Scarlett.” She said softly.
“I have to go.”
“Good night, hon. I love you. I know we don’t always agree on everything but I do love you.”
“I love you, Mom.” I said before I hung up the phone.
Mia asked me to live with her today. It was an offer I thought long and hard about but eventually, I agreed. I needed a new place to live. She didn’t want to be a lone and needed help with the baby. I really liked her and she liked me. Mia’s predicament+ my current situation = a potential future. I needed to start over. I needed space. The next time Christian came here to look for me, I planned to be gone.
Mia
I sat of the edge of the bed, staring at the half empty closet. I hoped it would be enough space for Scarlett’s things. I didn’t feel well most of the day and tired, then I started to hear that pessimistic voice in my head.
Why would this woman want to be with me? What if she goes back to her husband and leaves me broken-hearted again? I was pregnant and fat. What on earth could she see in me? I ran a hand through my hair and pushed the ridiculous thoughts to the back of my mind. I knew I was being silly. Blame it on the overload of pregnancy hormones that were taking over my body and brain.
Scarlett clearly had money now. If she wanted to live anywhere else, I was sure she could have. I also knew that Christian would welcome her back home with open arms in the event that she did want to return to him, but instead she said yes. I knew it meant something. I had to remind myself that I was pregnant but it was only temporary. I would give birth soon and be back to my normal self.
If I’d met Scarlett when I wasn’t pregnant, things would be different. I was different – more fun and more alive. When I felt sexy and beautiful, not like how I felt now. I’d forgotten that the only reason I met Scarlett was because I was pregnant.
My father Kieran always said that things happen for a reason. Maybe he was right. Maybe this was fate?
I moved a few boxes out of the way and then the doorbell rang. Butterscotch barked and scurried down the hallway. I moved slowly behind her. I opened it slowly and Scarlett stood in front of me. All blonde waves and shy smiles. She was absolutely gorgeous even though she was only dressed casual.
She had one box in front of her and a duffel bag on her shoulder. This couldn’t have been all her stuff.
“Is this everything?” I asked squinting my eyes at her.
“Yep.” She said bouncing the box against her thighs.
I huffed again in disbelief and stepped aside letting her in. Scarlett looked around and placed the box on the floor, picking Butterscotch up and talking to her playfully.
I leaned against the wall and watched them. Scarlett stepped towards me and placed a kiss on my lips. The gesture stunned me. I’m not sure why. When she backed away, I must’ve had a confused look on my face.
“What’s the matter?” Scarlett asked as her blue eyes narrowed.
�
��Nothing.” I said, shaking my head.
Scarlett kissed me again. It was hungry and hard and took my breath away. I tasted her lips and the sugary taste of caramel that was on her tongue. Scarlett eased away from me and smiled. I realized she didn’t have the problem. I had the problem! I wasn’t used to this. After being in a heterosexual relationship for nearly seventeen years, it was Scarlett that was more comfortable with her sexuality than Lauren was. Lauren had been with countless women and I was certain she was still hiding it.
“Does Christian know that you like women?”
Scarlett nodded. “Always has. I’ve never lied to him.”
Interesting.
Scarlett’s gaze remained on me for what seemed like forever.
“You seem weird. Are you okay?” She asked.
I laughed. “Yes, I’m fine. I guess it’s just that Lauren only came here after dark.”
Scarlett giggled. “What do you mean?”
“I mean she only came here at night, like when she wanted to have sex with me.”
“Oh.” Scarlett said with a pitiful look on her face. “Why’d you let her in?”
I covered my mouth with my hand and mumbled. “I don’t know.”
Butterscotch jumped up, putting her paws on Scarlett’s legs. Scarlett rubbed her fur again sending the dog into hyperactivity, encouraging her to bark and spin around in circles. They both got along well for only having met a few times.
“I cleared out my closet but you don’t have much stuff.”
Scarlett shrugged and lifted the bag over her shoulder heading down the hallway.
“I left it all behind. I didn’t want any of it anymore.” She sang out.
I nodded and followed behind her. She quickly packed her things in the closet. The extra drawers would remain empty I guess until she bought herself more stuff.
“I may go shopping tomorrow, buy some more clothes and things. I don’t know what I’m waiting for. It’s like my entire life is in fucking limbo.”
“Have you told Christian that you’ve filed for divorce yet?” I asked glaring at Scarlett. “You have to. He’ll be served papers before you can get to him and I don’t imagine that will go well.”
“I’m a coward.” Scarlett muttered. “It’s funny how I’m the one that ends up feeling guilty for his sadness and discomfort when he is the cause of all of this.”
I blinked my eyes slowly, listening to Scarlett’s defeated tone.
“I don’t really care much for this Christian of yours but I know you do, Scarlett.” I said stepping towards her, placing a hand on her shoulder.
She sighed. “Thanks for letting me stay here.”
I shrugged. “It’s as much company for me, as it is for you. Besides, Butterscotch seems to like you.”
Scarlett
Mia leaned against the counter as I pulled two pieces of wahoo out of her Subzero refrigerator.
It was easy to find my way around her kitchen. I enjoyed being able to cook again. I didn’t do much of it at the studio I was in. Usually, I just ate pizza with Justin. I pulled out a fancy looking copper pan and looked it over with a smirk.
“I never use them.” Mia said waving a hand.
I giggled and placed it on the stove, pouring a few drops of olive oil in it and heating the pan. I seasoned the fish and cut up some salad, adding tomatoes, onions and peppers. Mia watched me curiously, as if I was performing heart surgery and then slowly walked towards the counter.
“I tried to do this one day and I nearly burnt this entire fucking building down.”
I belted out a laugh and she giggled.
“I love to cook, always have.” I told her.
I placed the two pieces of fish in the pan, searing them on both sides. When they were done, I placed a filet on the bed of salad in each plate.
“Bonne appetit.” I said with a huge smile on my face.
Mia looked everything over and sat across from me.
She poured me a glass of wine, which I at first refused.
“Just because I can’t doesn’t mean you shouldn’t.”
“Okay.” I whispered as she filled the glass halfway with white wine.
Mia shut her eyes and said a prayer, I think.
When she opened them, I couldn’t help but stare at her.
“Did you just say a prayer?”
Mia nodded and then hummed a yes.
I giggled. “Really?”
Mia’s surprised expression made me laugh again. “Don’t you?”
“Actually, I don’t you know. It’s a wonder I don’t choke on my food.
“What do you say?” I asked cutting into my perfectly medium piece of fish.
Mia made a funny face. “It’s something I’ve been saying since I was a little girl that my nana taught me.”
I glared at Mia forcing her to spit it out.
“Argh, it’s stupid. You will laugh.”
“Just say it!” I laughed.
“Rub a dub dub. Thanks for the grub. Yay, God! Amen.”
I gave Mia a twisted face and she giggled.
“I told you it was silly.”
“Well, I guess it’s better than nothing.” I whispered.
“This is delicious, Scarlett.”
I bowed my head. “Thanks.”
We ate in silence for a little while. The television in the den, was on low. Butterscotch sat at my feet, looking up at me with those sad eyes. I gave her a piece of fish, which she eagerly scarfed down.
“You spoil her.” Mia said sternly.
“She’s too adorable not too.”
“She’s not even mine really you know.” Mia said.
I gave her a questioning look.
“Butterscotch is Lauren’s dog. She left her here when I asked her to leave.”
“Oh.”
I chewed my food slowly, staring at Mia as she sifted through the tomatoes on her plate.
“She didn’t ask for her back?”
“Nah uh.” Mia said.
“Well, she’s yours now.”
“I get stuck with it all.” Mia muttered. “Dogs, babies. That’s me...”
I sensed a little bit of bitterness in Mia’s tone that I don’t think I could blame her for. I placed a hand over hers and Mia looked up at me and licked her lips, which I wanted to kiss. I went back to eating.
“What was he like or what’s he like?”
I looked up from my plate. “Christian?”
Mia nodded slowly.
I smiled and then sighed. “I used to think he was perfect but that’s unrealistic, isn’t it?”
Mia made a face.
“He’s handsome. He takes care of himself. He has the thickest dark hair that makes you just want to run your hands through it. Christian isn’t exactly one of the mass produced.” I said, realizing I said the last part aloud.
“Mass produced?” Mia repeated, hunching her shoulders.
“Yeah, it’s an inside joke to myself.
“When I first met Christian, he was different. He didn’t remind me of any of the other men I’d dated or saw on a daily basis. You know the blonde blue-eyed guy or the biker dude or the cool dude or the nerd. You know the men that all look and act somewhat the same.
“Christian was unlike any man that I’d ever known. He was probably a mixture of everything perfect, sexy and hot that I found in every other man and despite all his sexiness he was a bit a nerd. He was great with numbers, growing his father’s company to what it is now.
“He was special, unique if you want to call it that. So, whenever people asked me what Christian was like, I would always say to myself, that he wasn’t one of the mass-produced and that’s what I loved about him.”
“That’s sweet, Scarlett.” Mia said.
I placed my silverware down in the center of my plate. “This whole time that Christian and I have been apart, I’ve been expecting the wrong things to happen I think.”
Mia took a sip of water, fixing her gaze on mine.
“I th
ink I expected to wake up one day and hate him, not love him anymore, curse the day I met him and all the trimmings.” I giggled. “But now I know, or I guess, I accept that I’ll always love him but it doesn’t mean we should be together. I just have to learn to live with that and stop trying to stop myself from feelings things for him that I should after being married to Christian for so many years.”
Mia nodded.
“It fucking hurts but every day the pain will become a little less, until it becomes bearable. I’ll always love him.”
“I get that.” Mia whispered. “I don’t feel the same way about Lauren.”
Mia finished up her food and glanced back up at me strangely. “I think I hate her.”
A low chuckle escaped my throat.
“I do.”
I laughed. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to laugh Mia but you seem really pissed off.”
“I didn’t think I was but maybe it was delayed anger I don’t know but now when I think about everything I put up with, I fucking hate her. Maybe it’s just easier to blame her then to blame myself for being so dumb.”
“Love.” I aid sardonically, finishing the dregs of my wine.
“Favorite color?” I asked.
“Black.”
I belted out a laugh. “No way.”
Mia nodded. “Honestly.”
I rolled her eyes.
“What’s yours?”
“Yellow.” I said pushing my plate to the side, putting a slice of chocolate cake between us.
“Where’d you get that?” Mia asked.
“From in your fridge?” I said arching a brow.
“I couldn’t tell you what’s in there.”
I laughed.
“What’s your middle name?” I asked Mia.
Mia groaned. “Esther, I hate it.”
I slapped my hand down on the counter and repeated the awful name.
“It sounds like some old witch lady name, doesn’t it?”
“No.” I said in a sing song voice. “I’ve heard worse.”
“What’s yours?” She asked.
“I have two. So, I will tell you one, which is Emma.”
“That’s pretty.” Mia said.
“It’s weird. We should know this stuff about each other by now.” I pointed out.