by Daya Daniels
“Christian never wanted children, Jacqueline.” I snapped. “Not with me clearly, not with you– not with anyone. He made that decision long ago. I don’t know what made you think you could change his mind.”
Jacqueline didn’t speak. She just dropped her head to the floor and then raised it again slowly, staring at me through wet eyes.
“You got pregnant on purpose to spite me, so don’t pretend that you’re sorry now because if Christian was here doting over you and your precious new baby, you wouldn’t give me as much as a second glance and certainly not an apology Jacqueline.
“You’re a whore and you will always be a whore.” I spat out inches from her face. “And I know for some crazy reason, you think Christian was fucking you because he wasn’t getting any from me because I’m his wife and all but it isn’t true, Jacqueline. He was fucking me too...just so you know.”
Jacqueline’s eyes shot wide as my words sunk into her dull brain.
With that, I left.
Mia
“I called her a whore.” Scarlett whined, making a deep sigh as she moved around the kitchen slamming the drawers and cabinets.
“Because she is a whore.”
Scarlett sighed.
“I don’t know why you feel so bad about this. This woman destroyed your life. So what if you called her a whore! I would’ve called her much worse, Scarlett.” I said folding my arms across my belly.
Scarlett was angry but it seemed to be directed mostly at herself.
“They have a little girl.” She said looking at me and shaking her head.
“It’s okay to be upset about it, Scarlett. I won’t take offense to it.”
Scarlett stood still and slumped over with her back turned towards me. “I wanted to feel sorry for her I did but I just couldn’t.” She whispered.
I stepped towards her and placed my hands on her shoulders kneading them with my fingers.
“Christian has had our divorce papers for months and he won’t sign them.”
Butterscotch jumped up placing her paws on Scarlett’s shins.
“You will have to go and talk to him.”
“I have a few voicemails from him and a long listing of unread text messages.”
“Why haven’t you checked them?” I asked.
“Because I know they’re all angry and full of venom.”
I laughed. “You can handle it, him and everything in between.”
“He’s doing this on purpose.” Scarlett whispered.
“I know.” I said.
Scarlett twisted around to look at me. “How are you?” She asked running a gentle hand through my hair. “We spend so much time talking about me. How is the baby?”
“I’m fine. Can’t wait to get it out.” I complained.
It was just after nine o’clock.
I cupped Scarlett’s face in my hands and looked into her blue eyes. The saying that the eyes were the window to the soul was so true. Scarlett was sad. I think she was more upset than she admitted to herself about bumping into Jacqueline today.
“I’m sorry you’re hurting.” I whispered, looking at her.
She closed her eyes, right before a tear slipped from each one down onto her warm cheeks. I wiped them away with the pads of my thumbs. She slowly her blues again and sniffled.
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?” I asked chuckling. “For being human, Scarlett?”
“I don’t know.”
I looked around the kitchen. The only light that illuminated the large space was coming from the vent over the top of the stove.
“Let’s call it a night, huh?” I suggested.
Scarlett gave me a nod, right before I pulled her into a hug.
Scarlett
“Do you remember the summer we went down to Monterey, California?” Christian asked on the voicemail he left me. “We made love early in the morning after we finished walking on the beach. Then you pulled out this bright pink bikini and put it on and I spent the rest of the day trying to get you to take it off.” Christian laughed.
“It was perfect. We spent the week, fishing and swimming and drinking.
“We ate at this great seafood place at the edge of a cliff. We had boiled shrimp and then we walked back home.”
I ended the message, that was from a month ago. I took a deep breath and stared out the window ahead that overlooked the city in the daylight and played the next one.
“You told me you wouldn’t do this shit, Scarlett! I was just given divorce papers!” Christian roared so loud through the phone, I had to pull it away from my ear.
“I went back to where you were staying and you were gone. No one knows where you are! I’m not signing this God damn shit, Scarlett! You fucking promised you would talk to me before you did this, Scar!” Christian took a deep breath. “You don’t love me anymore?” He asked as his voice cracked.
The honking of car horns and low chatter filled the background of the message. Christian must’ve been on the street somewhere, screaming into his phone, probably looking like a crazy person.
I ended the message, playing the next one that was left the following day.
“Scar, please don’t do this. I will do anything you want to make everything up to you...anything. You can’t just do this, Scar. I love you. Please. I just want to talk to you. I need to remind you of what you mean to me. I can’t do that if I don’t know where you are.”
I ended the message, wiped my tears and played the next one.
“I know I fucked up.” Christian sniffled. “I know fucked-everything-up, Scar. I’ve ruined my life. I’ve ruined our lives because I’m a selfish, selfish asshole! I just want everything to go back to the way it was. I’m so sorry I hurt you.
“You should hate me but I know you don’t hate me. I know you still love me. You don’t hate me because you’re too good for me, Scar. You’ve always been too good for me. I don’t know how I’ve held on to you for this long.” Christian sobbed into the phone. “I miss you so much. I’m dying without you, Scar.”
“You’ve already fucked somebody else. I said okay! As much as I don’t want to, I will deal with it Scar. This shit doesn’t have to be the end of us!
“Go and fuck other people! Do it! Be mad at me! Get it out of your system!” Christian yelled.
It was quiet for a moment, until he spoke again. “Just come back to me.” He murmured into the phone, then let out a sob that splintered my heart.
Christian didn’t understand that none of this was normal. Why were we together if we were fucking other people? None of this was going to fix anything. It was only making it worse. We would only end up being two married people who deeply resented each other. Christian never understood me and clearly, he still didn’t. I deleted the message and the other seven, I couldn’t bear to listen to.
Letting go of someone you love is devastating. It’s like a death and while we were apart, I‘d died a thousand times but I couldn’t do it anymore. I deserved more.
Mia
Scarlett was quiet.
I rested in her lap with my back to her chest. Her hand rested on my stomach, feeling the baby move. I enjoyed the evenings when we just relaxed in each other’s company. I would tell Scarlett about my day and she’d tell me about hers. The television was on but she seemed to only be staring off into space. This was one of the times when I knew I failed to understand how she was feeling. I didn’t push and Scarlett didn’t bother to explain.
“Did you finally listen to the messages?”
“Yes.” Scarlett said softly.
Her warm breasts were against my chest. I couldn’t wait until this baby was out. I felt like a blimp. It wasn’t sexy at all. In fact, there was nothing sexy about how I looked or felt and it seemed unfair to Scarlett, for me even be in a relationship with her right now.
“I always just wanted a normal life that was free of drama with someone I trust.”
I turned to face Scarlett, understanding her words.
“I k
now.” I said kissing her on the lips and intertwining our fingers together.
Scarlett’s lip quivered as if she was going to cry but she didn’t.
“I never asked for much.” She whispered.
“I know.” I said, still staring at the television.
Scarlett hardly said anything but at the same time she was telling me everything.
“This is our baby.” Scarlett whispered kissing me on the forehead.
I smiled.
“I love you.” She whispered, grabbing the book I was reading that rested on the edge of the coffee table.
Scarlett sighed and pressed her face into the pillow behind her.
“I love you.” I said looking up into her sad blue eyes.
She brushed my hair with her fingers and settled into watching the television again.
Scarlett
Mia and I walked along the shoreline of the beach, taking in the August summer air. Connor strolled alongside me, while Damon his new boyfriend, walked next to Mia, hooking his arm in hers.
“I like you, Scarlett.” Connor said, nudging me in the shoulder.
I smiled. “Thanks.”
“You’re good for her.”
I hadn’t known Connor for long but I did know that he cared about Mia and had probably watched her go through a lot.
“I’m glad you think so.” I said taking in the warm rays of the sun.
It was heaven.
Mia and I’d been together officially for over two months. Everything about our relationship was unconventional. It was just all so untimely with her being pregnant and me technically still being married. We were adjusting but we weren’t too hard on ourselves about categorizing what exactly we were to each other.
Mia was big now and close to giving birth, so we had to see Dr. Stuart now once every week until the baby was born.
Connor pulled me into a hug. “Do you love her?” He asked.
“I do.” I said jutting my chin out at him.
“She loves you too.”
“Yeah, I know.”
Chicago was a great place in the summer. The air and water show was the week before. Mia and I came to watch it with a few friends. I invited Gabriella along. I told her if she wasn’t coming alone not to bother. She apologized to me and explained everything. Gabriella really was in the middle and then her husband and Christian were best friends. A few months ago, when I told her not to contact me again, I failed to sympathize with the fact that she really was stuck in the middle.
Gabriella was curious about my new relationship with Mia but promised she wouldn’t judge. When Gabriella attempted to tell me about what she knew about Christian’s relationship with Jacqueline, I stopped her. I didn’t want to hear or care about what they may or may not have been doing. I made a promise to myself that I was moving forward. Gabriella understood.
“Are you feeling okay?” Connor asked, stopping to look me over.
“Yeah, fine just a little dizzy. It’s probably the heat.”
Connor splashed his feet in the water. The coolness of it against my skin was refreshing.
“Are you in love with him?” I asking pointing at Damon ahead.
“Me?” Connor said pointing a thumb into his chest.
I leaned into him, attempting to look into his eyes through the dark aviator sunglasses he was wearing.
“I don’t know if I do love.” Connor laughed.
I smiled, pushing my toes in the sand. Mia waved up ahead, signaling that we were walking too slow. She was wearing a flowy white dress and her hair was out, that was as long as mine now.
We stayed up late nights, talking about life and everything we still wanted to do. Mia promised that when we were able to settle down we would take a vacation and go to a night club. It was nice to think about but for now, I just really wanted to settle into home life with her. The rest could come later.
I pushed my sunglasses back onto my face and Connor unhooked his arm.
“We should eat.” He said looking at his watch.
It was almost two o’clock in the afternoon.
I held my phone up as it vibrated. It was Christian again. I let the call go to voicemail.
“What’s it like to be married?” Connor asked.
I huffed. “It depends on who you’re married to.”
Connor laughed. “I suppose it does.”
“I love your honesty, Scarlett. It’s refreshing.”
I shrugged.
“Just don’t break her heart.” Connor said with a grimace.
“If anything, I’m worried she’ll break mine.” I said honestly.
Connor raised his brows at me. “It’s like that, huh?”
“Yeah, I guess it is.” I said, swinging my arms. “I know my relationship with my ex-husband is beyond complicated but Mia’s trusts me and I would never do anything to ruin that.
“Right now, I’m not exactly dating material for anyone.” I said. “And definitely even more so than Mia thinks she is being pregnant and all.”
Connor smirked.
“I should be shelved or benched or whatever you call it until I sort out my shitty situation. I’m still trying to get unmarried and it hasn’t been easy.”
This time Connor belted out a laugh.
“Scarlett you’re fine. We all go through complications. I don’t think Mia thought she’d ever find anyone and certainly not while being pregnant. It’s fate I think you both being together.”
I bit my lip. “Maybe.”
We walked a few more feet until Mia and Damon headed off the beach, when they spotted a restaurant.
“This whole pregnancy thing.” Connor said. “I’m here for you both, to help whenever you need with anything.”
“You ever thought of having kids?”
Connor laughed. “Scarlett, you really are funny.” He muttered. “This whole pregnancy thing frankly scares my fucking dick off. I will leave the motherly department to you ladies and Damon.” He snorted.
I laughed out loud, enjoying the feeling of the cool sand between my toes.
Scarlett
I finished a massage for Tricia Pollard.
The weather outside was warm and the sky was turning orange as the sun began to set.
Her husband couldn’t make it to meet me this evening. The couple had fifteen weeks to go until the birth of their son. Tricia was my age. She talked too much but otherwise, she was friendly. She stood and I walked her back over to my desk, where she sat on the other side.
The doorbell went off and I looked up to see Mia standing in the doorway.
“Hey.” She said, giving me an adorable smile.
“Hey.” I stood and walked towards her, placing a kiss on her lips.
Tricia’s eyes went wide and then she looked away. I took a seat back behind the desk to finish sifting through some forms that I passed over to her.
“I don’t think I will be needing those.” Tricia said, looking at me like she smelled something rotten.
I took my hand back slowly, with the papers still in between my fingers and gave Tricia a glare. You’ve got to be kidding.
“I didn’t realize you were a lesbian.” She whispered, leaning into me.
“I don’t usually put it on my business cards.”
“I won’t be needing your services.”
“That is your decision, Tricia.”
Tricia stood hastily and grabbed her bags and her coat and shot out the door.
Mia stood to the side as she passed. When my eyes met hers, she shrugged. Another couple walked in behind the cow that had just left. I rushed back to my desk to collect some pamphlets and forms to give them, so that I could close the place on time. When I spun around, Christian was standing in front of me.
I sucked in a breath when I looked at him. He was gorgeous as always but he looked like he’d lost some weight. His body didn’t quite fill out the black suit he was wearing. I hadn’t seen him in almost three months.
My eyes took him in from head to toe. He
was holding a bouquet of white roses. He stepped closer to me and handed me the flowers.
I peered around him. Mia stood leaning against the wall near the door, watching us. Mia turned away and made small talk with the couple that was waiting for me. I took the flowers without speaking still, noticing my hands were shaking.
“Thank you.”
He only nodded.
I noticed he still wore his wedding band.
“How are you?” Christian asked.
“I’m okay.” I said in a weak voice.
He looked behind him again, taking in Mia. “Is that her?”
I didn’t answer him.
He chuckled and took a deep breath. “She’s pregnant.”
I nodded.
“I’ve been calling you, Scarlett. I told you don’t fucking blindside me and still you did. We should talk about this.” He whispered his second sentence harshly.
I laughed. If anyone blindsided anyone, it was Christian.
“I need to talk to you.” Christian demanded.
“Not here, please Christian. I have people over there waiting for me.”
He dropped his hands by his sides and hung his head low. He ran his hands through the thick hair on his head that already looked disheveled.
“Then when Scarlett, because all you do is avoid me.”
“I will call you Christian, I promise.”
He bit his lip looking at me. It was what he did whenever he was angry and couldn’t get his way. “I just want to talk, Scar.” He said softly.
“Okay.” I said putting a hand up. “Tomorrow. I will call you tomorrow.”
“Come and see me Scar, don’t call me. I want to talk to you face to face. I only came here because you won’t answer the phone.”
“Okay.” I shouted in a whisper, attempting to pacify him.
“I will come and see you tomorrow.”
“You look beautiful, Scar.”
I wiped my face with my hand and nodded. “Thank you, Christian.”
Mia
Christian really was handsome. The man looked like he’d just stepped over the cover of a GQ Magazine. He was tall, well over six feet. He had thick dark hair and was clean shaven with piercing green eyes. I noticed a few strands of grey in his hairline that only made him look more distinguished. They didn’t age him one bit. I could see the outline of the cut muscles underneath his suit, telling me about the gorgeous body that was covered up by those expensive threads. This man could probably make any woman drop her panties.