If Only

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If Only Page 20

by Daya Daniels


  Mia shrugged. “It’s a not a big deal. This isn’t all conventional at all.”

  I giggled. “We are still getting to know each other. Might take a while.” I said scrunching my nose. “But I can promise you I’m not a serial killer.”

  “I’m just glad you’re here.” Mia rolled her eyes.

  “Me too.” I said playfully, handing her a fork.

  Mia stood and walked to the stove to turn on the kettle. I was certain I noticed it before but now I was sure.

  “Ballet?”

  Mia spun around and smiled at me. “How’d you know?”

  I giggled. “Because of the way you move and you’ve always had impeccable posture. I took some classes when I was a little girl but it was nothing really. You still move like a dancer.”

  Mia placed her feet in fifth position and then in arabesque, balancing on one leg and extending the other out far behind her.

  I clapped watching her. “That is amazing considering the belly.” I said tapping my own stomach.

  Mia laughed and then returned to her normal standing position. “No one ever notices, I swear.” She said loudly.

  “Except, I did.”

  Mia smirked.

  “I always thought I would stick with it but after Beacon Academy and then law school but it was just impossible.”

  “You still have it.” I said shoving some cake into my mouth.

  Mia made herself a cup of tea and then sat across from me again.

  “Beacon Academy is a fancy prep school.” I said.

  “My parents had my whole life mapped out for me. I can’t complain. It hasn’t turned out so bad.” Mia said.

  “No, it hasn’t.” I pointed my fork around the apartment.

  Mia laughed.

  “It’s quite impressive you’ve done all of this on your own Mia.”

  “Thanks.”

  “It’s not a huge deal but I wish I’d done a lot of things with my own life, especially if it was going to turn out the way it has. You know going to college, getting a real job, taking up some classes, just doing the things I wanted to do.”

  “Like what?”

  “I don’t know I’ve always wanted to learn a foreign language. Maybe take up some art classes or something, I don’t know, nothing too ambitious.”

  “You still can. It’s not too late Scarlett to live the life you want or the one that you’ve dreamed of.”

  “I don’t know I just feel like I’ve wasted so much time that I can never get back.”

  “Do it Scarlett...now!” Mia yelled playfully.

  I nodded hard and laughed. “I will.”

  Mia

  It was strange sleeping next to someone again, but nice all the same. I could hear Scarlett’s light breathing in the quiet room. We went to bed at the same time. Scarlett seemed tired and a little drunk, which I didn’t mind. She was cute when she was drunk and was the perfect sleeper. Scarlett didn’t snore and she didn’t twist and turn like Lauren used to. The clock next to me told me it was four in the morning. I had to be up in an hour. I pushed the comforter down, watching the moonlight as it dusted Scarlett’s skin. Her long hair fell out in waves over her shoulders and across the pillows. I touched her thigh, running my fingers over their smoothness. I pushed the soft cotton sleep shirt up that she was wearing, revealing underneath that she had no panties on.

  I felt far from sexy these days but I wanted Scarlett to know how much I wanted her. I scooted closer and she stirred a little in her sleep but she didn’t wake. Pulling a drawer open from my nightstand, I returned to her side, sliding down between her legs. I pressed my nose into her skin, inhaling the natural scent of her that I didn’t think I could ever tire of.

  I allowed my eyes to rove over her curves and the bare mound of her pussy, that was waxed bald. I didn’t know anyone on this earth, man or woman that wouldn’t want what was laid bare right now in front of me. I parted her legs softly with my hands, looking at it and the wetness that was already there in invitation. I eased down between her thighs, kissing them softly, listening to Scarlett moan and shift a little. I licked her and she jerked, moaning again. The sound that spilled from her lips was deep, entrancing, telling me to go on. When her fingers raked through my hair, I knew she wanted me to continue. I sucked and licked on her lips and then ran my wet tongue up the seams of her lingering on her clit. Scarlett gasped again and her legs quivered.

  I tasted her again, listening to her cries become high-pitched and desperate when I moved faster and harder against her pussy with my mouth. She tasted sweet and the scent of her pussy was intoxicating. I wanted to devour this woman from head to toe. I licked and lapped on her flesh, licking it clean, running my fingers along the outside of her thighs. When I thought she would come, I stopped.

  Scarlett’s eyes opened wide. I dragged the head of the vibrator along the inside of her quivering thighs and pushed it into her pussy hard. A loud cry left her mouth and her fingers dug into my forearm. I put my lips back on her clit, sucking and fluttering my tongue over the swollen flesh, while pumping into her hard with the large vibrator that was at least nine inches long. After a few strokes of the warm cock against her pussy walls and my tongue on her clit, Scarlett’s cries became louder. Her fingers moved through my hair and her thighs shook. It was sexiest fucking thing I’d ever seen. She let out a loud breath and then a scream left her mouth.

  “I’m coming.” She groaned out, arching up from the bed.

  They were deep breathless gasps, that ended in high-pitched cries. With each one, Scarlett’s legs parted wider giving me the hottest view of her coming. I ran my hands over her warm skin as the waves subsided and quiet mewls left her mouth. I eased the vibrator out of her quivering pussy and pressed a kiss to her lips, feeling them tremble. I wanted this woman to be mine...permanently.

  When she moved to reciprocate, I stopped her.

  “I have to get up for work.”

  “Oh.” She whispered, placing her hand on my cheek, which she then slid down to my belly. When I looked at her again, she was asleep. I slid out of bed and made my way to the bathroom, turning on the shower. Looking back across the room, Scarlett was tangled up in the white sheets. It was like she belonged there.

  I pulled off my sleep shirt, staring at my naked form in the mirror, turning from left to right. I was big. I groaned at my reflection and then reminded myself that Scarlett thought it was beautiful and that was all that really mattered.

  CHAPTER SIX

  Scarlett

  After hitting the gym in the morning for two hours, I returned the apartment to find a woman there, hunched over and rummaging through the Subzero in the kitchen.

  “Aiko.” She said in a heavy Japanese accent, introducing herself. “You must be Mia new girlfriend.” The woman said harshly.

  I laughed but didn’t respond.

  “You’re much prettier than last one.” The old woman said.

  I stifled a laugh at her rudeness.

  “I am the cleaning lady and I walk that dog she has now.” Aiko said pointing angrily at Butterscotch, who looked up at me with her big eyes.

  “Okay.” I said shaking her hand. “But I can walk her.”

  The old woman scrutinized me as she looked me over slowly and then her mouth went up in a huge smile.

  “I like you. If you want to, please do. I don’t really like dogs.” She said, moving back into the kitchen. “But! I do the grocery shopping, the ironing, the cleaning and whatever else you need me to do.”

  Aiko brushed by me, scribbling down a list.

  “What you want from store?” She asked.

  “I like fish.” I said.

  “Fish.” Aiko repeated. “That’s good.”

  I tried not to laugh at the comical old woman but I couldn’t help myself from giggling. Butterscotch followed me to the bedroom and hopped up in a chair watching my every move.

  When I finished getting dressed, I grabbed her leash and she darted across the room towards me. I agreed to m
eet my brother and his wife for lunch. It was bright outside and the weather was warm.

  “You want to go for a walk.” I asked Butterscotch in a baby voice, kissing her nose. I would take her along.

  We left the apartment building after I stopped for a few minutes to speak to a very handsome man named Marcelle. Butterscotch and I left the building and headed north, taking a leisurely stroll. The streets were scattered with people. It was getting up to lunch time. Eventually, I picked Butterscotch up for fear that she’d be trampled.

  Mia’s office building wasn’t far away from here and neither was Christian’s.

  In less than a few minutes we were closer to our lunch destination.

  Now, I sat across the lunch table from my brother and his wife at the Naf Naf Grill along the Chicago Riverwalk. It was Middle Eastern restaurant that my Patrick picked out for the falafel.

  Butterscotch settled into a chair at the next table, taking a nap. The weather was beautiful outside and the sun was shining bright along the river.

  “What’s her name?” Patrick asked.

  I gave him a quizzical look.

  “The girlfriend.” He said. “Not the dog.”

  “Oh.” I said laughing. “Mia. Mia Fisher.”

  Patrick’s wife Elise looked me over, while he nodded.

  “So, you’re both dating or whatever?”

  “We’re in a relationship. She’s expecting a baby.”

  Patrick burned into me with his grey eyes. He reminded me so much of my father Tom, even with his demeanor. They could be twins.

  “Pregnant?”

  “Yes.”

  Elise smiled.

  “Who is she pregnant for?” Patrick asked.

  I giggled. “It’s a long story but it was the in vitro thing.”

  “Oh, I’ve heard of that.” Elise chimed in. “It’s expensive though, isn’t it?”

  Patrick gave Elise an annoyed look.

  “Yeah, it is.” I said.

  “So, you have a pregnant girlfriend? She was pregnant when you met her?” Patrick asked, knotting his brows.

  “Yes, I guess you can say that.”

  Patrick took a slow sip of his coffee. I don’t think it was the girlfriend part he was having trouble with. It was the whole baby thing.

  “And you’re sure you’re not in love with this woman Scarlett just because she’s pregnant?”

  “No.” I said, shaking my head. “It’s not like that. She’s one of the best people I know. You will like her, I swear.

  “She’s a lawyer. A really good one actually.”

  Patrick rested back against his chair, hooking his hands behind his head, looking me over skeptically.

  “I’m just worried about you, Scarlett. You’re barely out of Christian’s hair. You can bullshit everyone else but you can’t bullshit me. I know it all must hurt. You love that man.”

  “It does hurt, Patrick.” I said.

  Patrick took a deep breath. “I just don’t want you getting your heart broken again because you haven’t given yourself enough time to heal.

  “You’re jumping out of one relationship and right into another.”

  I tapped my fingernail on my cup.

  “I get what you’re saying Patrick but Mia and I have been friends for a little while. She’s special. You probably won’t understand.”

  Elise remained quiet. Patrick stood and excused himself to the bathroom. When he disappeared out of sight, Elise spoke.

  “He’s just worried, Scarlett.” She whispered, placing a hand on mine.

  “I know.”

  “Thanks for coming into the city.”

  Elise leaned in. “I love to shop here. It’s always fun.”

  I laughed.

  Patrick returned to the table and sat down.

  “Where is your girlfriend’s place?”

  “On State Street.”

  Patrick whistled. “Swanky.” He said in a playful tone.

  “Yeah it’s a nice place.”

  “You’re done with Christian?” Patrick said, leaning forward, narrowing his eyes at me. I swiped some of the blonde hair out of his face.

  “Not that I would have a problem if you were, sis.”

  I snorted a laugh.

  Patrick had known Christian most of his life. They used to be close but I think that all went out the window when Patrick found out what happened with Jacqueline.

  “I am.”

  Patrick sucked his teeth and nodded, giving me a long look.

  “Have you seen Shannon?” I asked Patrick.

  “Yeah a few times. Have you?”

  “Not really but she came to see me once, she said to check on me. She didn’t say much but I knew she knew what was going on. Her and Mom aren’t really getting along as usual.” I said.

  Patrick nodded. “Who does get along with Mom?”

  “Nobody.” I said quietly.

  Elise giggled.

  “So, when do we meet her?” Patrick asked.

  “Soon.” I said smiling.

  “So, you now have a girlfriend, a husband, a baby on the way and apparently, a new fucking dog?” Patrick asked, nodding his head.

  “If you say it like that, it sounds awful Patrick.” I said punching him in the shoulder. “But I’m working on narrowing that list down, excluding the dog.”

  The three of us would spend the afternoon here.

  I had some shopping to do and last minute baby items, I needed to pick up.

  It was so good to see my brother after all these months. I wish I had better news. Patrick told me that no matter what happens, my happiness was all he cared about. I loved my brother.

  Mia

  It was the middle of August. I appreciated the longer days but the heat, not so much. I was a winter baby, loving the cold and the snow.

  I spent my lunch hour, talking to Scarlett. She told me about the baby that was born today. There was both excitement and nervousness in her voice.

  “They named her Priya.” Scarlett said. “She was nineteen inches long and weighed seven pounds and three ounces.”

  I loved that Scarlett loved what she was doing. She had a passion for it. Her client list bad built up fast over the past few months but Scarlett made it a point to keep it to less than ten women.

  I waited anxiously for the day that she was finally divorced but I didn’t push the issue. I knew Christian was holding on to the papers in the hopes that Scarlett would come to see him. I hated the hold that he still had over her.

  After my last meeting today, I decided to finish work early. I was tired, more tired than usual. I only had a few weeks to go and then this baby would be out. I missed my pre-pregnancy body and I wanted it back fast.

  The ticking clock on the wall of the den told me it was getting up to six o’clock. I plopped down on the couch, while Butterscotch stayed at my feet.

  Fridays, we usually ordered Chinese food. Scarlett didn’t mind cooking but I didn’t want her to feel like she had to because I was a kitchen disaster.

  I thought about how our Friday nights would change once the baby arrived. The baby shifted as I turned to the first panel of the menu. I debated between eggs rolls and dim sum. Then I figured I would just frickin’ order it all.

  Scarlett

  I headed down the wide, squeaky clean hallways of the hospital after helping to deliver the Nerani’s baby girl, who they decided to name Priya. I wondered if Mia’s birth would go as smoothly as Shari’s did.

  As soon as I rounded the corner I saw Jacqueline. She was looking in the other direction. I stopped in my tracks, feeling my heart pound and the same anger rise that I felt the last time I saw her in the mall. When I looked back down at her belly, it was flat. She’d already given birth apparently. I spun around quickly and headed in the opposite direction. It couldn’t be this way every single time I saw her.

  “Scarlett!” Jacqueline shouted.

  I kept walking, pretending not to hear her.

  “Scarlett.” She said, grippin
g my arm firmly.

  I spun around to face her, gritting my teeth. “What do you want?” I spat out, stepping right into her face.

  Jacqueline jerked her head back and her eyes instantly filled with tears. “I wanted to say something to you the last time I saw you.” She said nervously. “I just wanted to apologize.”

  She wiped her tears. The last time I saw Jacqueline, she smirked at me. Now she wanted to apologize?

  “You wanted to take Christian away from me, now you have him.”

  Jacqueline sighed and a pained expression appeared on her face.

  “What could you possibly want to say to me?”

  “I just wanted to say I’m sorry Scarlett, if it means anything.”

  I shook my head at her in disgust and turned on my heel.

  “He hates me!” Jacqueline shouted down the hallway.

  I turned slowly to look at her, taking in that she was sobbing. People walked around us, making their best effort to ignore the obvious confrontation.

  “Christian hates me. I haven’t seen or heard from him since I told him I was pregnant. I tried to call and I’ve left messages but he never returns them. I haven’t seen him in months, except for when he demanded a DNA test. He won’t even come and see the baby.” Jacqueline said. “I gave birth to a little girl.”

  My heart sank. Jacqueline and Christian had a little girl. Why was I even wasting my time to listen to this woman! She only made me feel worse than I already did.

  I marched back towards Jacqueline. In some way, I felt a sickening satisfaction at her predicament. I always imagined her and Christian doing everything together as they readied for this baby to enter the world, just like a husband and wife would. Just like Christian and I would’ve been if we were having a baby. Instead, it was just the opposite, which surprised me.

  “I don’t know what you want me to say to you.” I said casually.

  Jacqueline wiped her tears with the sleeve of her sweater.

  She looked so different from how I remembered. Jacqueline was always pretty. Her makeup was always perfect and she usually wore tight fitting clothes. Today she looked tired, run down and exhausted.

 

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