"Honey, let's sit down," I say as I stand at the door with Lilly clinging to me.
This isn't what I expected. I thought I'd come in here and she'd be yelling at me, angry that I lied to her all these years. Angry about the things I've done, the people I've hurt. Angry because she blames me for the situation with Reed.
But she doesn't seem angry at all. She seems sad. Sad for me. I should've known she'd react this way. She has so much compassion for people. She's just like Rachel that way. In fact, sometimes Lilly is so similar to Rachel that if you didn't know it, you'd swear that Lilly came from Rachel, not Katherine. Lilly really didn't get any traits from Katherine, other than her blond hair and thin physique.
We go over to her bed and sit down.
"So Garret explained the organization to you?"
She nods. "He told me who they are and what they do and how you weren't given a choice." Tears spill down her cheeks. "All these years and I didn't know. I never knew why you were always so stressed and tired and never slept. I thought it was your job, but it was because of them, wasn't it? Because of what they made you do?"
"Lilly." I hold her hand. "That's all in the past. I don't do those things anymore."
"It doesn't matter. You still had to go through it. And then Mom and Grandpa."
"What about them?" I ask, hoping Garret didn't tell her about them. I don't want her knowing what they've done. Maybe when she's older but not now.
"Mom was always so mean to you. She acted like she hated you and you didn't even do anything wrong."
"Your mother and I both did things that were wrong. It wasn't just your mother."
"You're just saying that so I won't hate her. I was there, Dad. I saw how she treated you. I heard the things she said. And Grandfather was just like her. Even worse. I'd hear him talk to you and I'd hide in my room so I wouldn't have to hear it. He was so mean to you. And then you had to do whatever those bad people told you to do."
"Yes, but it's over now. I've moved on."
"And you had to run the company," she continues, as though she's saying it more to herself than to me. "And if that wasn't enough, you had to be both a dad and a mom, because my mom didn't want me."
I don't know how to respond to that. I could say it's not true but it would be a lie and she knows that. When I divorced Katherine, she lost all interest in Lilly, and it only got worse as she got older, until just recently when Katherine decided Lilly could benefit her.
"They took Rachel," she says.
Dammit. Garret wasn't supposed to tell her that.
She looks at me. "They did, didn't they? She wasn't kidnapped by some guys she didn't know. It was them. They took her, didn't they?"
So Garret didn't tell her. She's just guessing. What do I say? Do I lie to her? Let her continue believing the fake story?
"Dad, tell me the truth."
"They were involved," I say, deciding to tell her a piece of the truth. She's not ready to hear all of it. It's too awful. Too evil.
"Who did it?"
"Some of the members. It wasn't one in particular. It was a group of them. A committee who didn't want me to be married to Rachel because she's not one of us."
"So they kidnapped her?"
"She was supposed to be on that plane. Remember the plane that crashed?"
Lilly has seen the story on the news many times. Even now, there are reporters looking into the cause of the crash and sometimes they do a story on it.
"They caused the crash?" she asks.
I hesitate. "I can't tell you that."
"Which means the answer is yes."
"Lilly, you can never tell anyone that. Ever. Do you hear me?"
"Yes. But what happened? She wasn't on the plane, so where did she go?"
"A friend of mine got her to a safe place. That town in Italy. But he died before he could tell me she was alive. And then one of the members from the committee found out she was there and kept her there."
"Do you know who it was?"
"It doesn't matter. He's no longer alive."
"How could they take her like that? How could they do that to you? To Garret?"
"That's just who they are. That's why I'm so desperate to keep you out of this. I assume Garret told you about Dean. And Reed."
Another tear rolls down her face. "Yes."
I decide to leave it at that. I could tell her once again to stay away from Reed, but she already knows how I feel. And I'm sure Garret told her the same thing. It's best if she comes to this decision herself. She'll only end things with Reed if it's her decision, not mine or Garret's.
"Did I cause this?" she asks.
"Cause what?"
"By dating Reed, am I the reason Rachel almost got killed?"
"It's more complicated than that."
"But that's why they want Dean. To get to Reed, assuming I'll marry him someday."
"Yes. That's correct."
Her shoulders slump. "So it was me. I caused it. I almost got Rachel killed."
"Lilly, it wasn't your fault. You should be able to date a boy without this happening. The organization did this, not you."
"Why do they want me?"
"Because you're a Kensington. They wanted Garret, but I was able to get him out of his obligation. I thought you were out as well until this happened."
"But Garret said girls can't be members."
"Yes, but daughters of members are supposed to marry someone within the organization. If we went by the rules, you'd be forced to marry one of my fellow members. The marriage would be arranged. You wouldn't have a choice in it. But I swore I would never let that happen to you."
She's quiet and then asks, "Does the guy who's marrying her get a choice? Does he get to pick the girl?"
"No. He marries who they tell him to marry."
She drops her head and softly says, "That's why you married Mom. You never loved her. You never even liked her. Now it makes sense why you married her."
I didn't want to tell her that but she figured it out on her own and I don't want to lie to her.
"It was an arranged marriage," I say. "But I tried to make it work. I did everything I could to try to make your mother happy but she never was."
Her eyes lift to mine. "Why did you have me? If you didn't love each other, then why did you have me?"
This is something I have to lie about. I can't tell her that Katherine tricked me into it. If I did, she'd think I didn't want her, which is not at all true.
"We wanted a child," I say. "I always wanted more than one. I was overjoyed when we had you."
She finally smiles. "You were?"
"Of course I was. I had a beautiful baby girl." I chuckle. "Garret wasn't thrilled with the idea of having a sister, but as soon as he met you, he loved you. He was so protective of you. He still is."
She stops to think, her mind working up more questions, wanting more answers.
"What about your first wife?"
"That was also arranged. Rachel is the only one I chose. The only woman I've ever loved."
"But she's not part of it. I mean, her dad wasn't, so she couldn't marry you?"
"That's correct. But I did it anyway and was punished for it. It's a long story and I'd rather not get into all the details."
"Rachel's the same way. She can't talk about it."
It's true. Even with me, Rachel still finds it difficult to talk about that time in our lives. She's told me very little about the years she spent in Italy because she'd rather not remember it. To her, it was one long nightmare in which she spent every day trying to get back to us, her heart aching to see Garret and me again.
"Do you have other questions?" I ask Lilly. "Or should we take a break for now? You can always ask me more later."
"Later would be good."
We both stand up and I bring her into my arms. "I know this is difficult for you and you need time to think about it, but I hope what you found out today doesn't change how you see me."
"It doesn't change anything. You're still my d
ad. I still love you."
Her words warm my chest and I hug her tighter. "I love you too." I let her go. "Should we go out in the living room?"
"I think I'm going to stay here a little longer."
She needs time alone to think about all that she's heard today, so I leave her room and go find Rachel. She's in the living room with Garret.
"How's she doing?" Garret asks.
"Better than I thought she would. At least she doesn't hate me."
"Pearce." Rachel comes up to me. "She could never hate you. She loves you."
"I have to get going," Garret says, getting up from the couch. "Unless you guys need me to stay."
"Go ahead and get home," I tell him. "And thank you for talking to her. You were right. It was better that you talked to her first."
He gives me a hug. "Call me later. Let me know how she's doing." He hugs Rachel. "Bye, Mom."
"Bye, honey."
He goes to leave, but then comes back and hugs Rachel again. "Sorry, but after what happened today, one wasn't enough."
I feel the same way. Garret and I lost her once, and today, we almost lost her again. For good this time. I've been trying not to think about that but Garret just reminded me of it and now I'm flooded with emotion. That man almost killed her. She could've died.
"I love you, Mom." He keeps hold of her a moment longer before letting her go.
"I love you too." She smiles at him. "Now go home to those four beautiful children of yours. I'm sure Jade could use some help."
After he's gone, I take Rachel in my arms and don't let go.
"Pearce, what's wrong?"
"I almost lost you today."
"But you didn't. Because you taught me what to do."
"If he'd pulled the trigger before you had a chance to—"
"Pearce, don't do this. Don't talk about what could've happened. Just focus on the fact that it didn't." I feel her body sag in my arms as she lets out a breath. "I killed a man today. I took a life."
I pull back to look at her, my hands on her shoulders. "Listen to me. You will not feel guilty for that. I won't allow it. That man tried to kill you. He could've killed Lilly. It was self defense. You had no choice but to shoot him."
"But I didn't just shoot him. I killed him. I purposely shot him twice to make sure he was dead."
"Rachel, you had to. If that man were still alive, he'd come after you again. You did what you had to do. You did the right thing. You protected yourself. You protected Lilly." I bring her back into my arms. "I'm just sorry it ever happened." I hold her, and utter the words that keep circling in my head, "I will kill her."
Rachel hears me and pushes me back. "Kill who? What are you talking about?"
"Katherine. She did this to you. She told Phillip to have Dean kill you. It was his assignment and it was Katherine's idea."
I hadn't told her this until now. I didn't have a chance to.
"How do you know that? Did Phillip tell you?"
"No, but I know it was her. She hates that I'm married to you. She hates that you're raising Lilly and that Lilly sees you as her mother. Katherine did this. There's no doubt in my mind."
"You can't kill her, Pearce. You can't kill Lilly's mother."
"She's not a mother. She never has been. And I want her out of Lilly's life. For good."
"No. Pearce, we'll find some other way to deal with her. Don't do this."
"I'm not discussing this, Rachel. I will do what I need to do."
She sighs. "I feel like we're going back in time. Like we're repeating the past. I don't want to go back to that life. The violence. The revenge. People dying. We got away from all that and I don't want to go back."
"We're not. Now that Lilly knows the truth, this will end. She won't marry Reed and her mother's plan will never happen."
My phone dings and I check it quick and see a text from William, saying he took care of the issue with Garret and the clean-up crew.
"What is it?" Rachel asks.
"A text from William."
"How's he feeling?"
"Not well. When we talked earlier, he asked for my help again. He wants me to fly out there this week and attend some meetings with the board members."
"When are you leaving?"
She doesn't even question my going. After almost being killed, I thought she'd want me to stay here with her, but instead she tells me to help William. She's more worried about him than herself. But I'm more worried about her.
"I can't leave you here," I say.
"I'll be fine. I'll stay with Garret again."
"I can't agree to that until I know they aren't sending someone else to finish the job."
"You think Dean would try this again?"
"No. Not after the talk we had. But Phillip might, depending on his loyalty to Katherine. I'll have a word with him before I go. And if I'm not confident he'll leave you alone, I won't be going to New York. William will just have to find someone else. I need to take care of this now. It can't wait."
"I'll go talk to Lilly. See how she's doing."
I go in my office and shut the door and call Phillip. His phone goes to voicemail so I leave a message. "Answer your damn phone or I'll show up at your door." I hang up, and less than a minute later I get a call from Phillip.
"I didn't do it," he says, trying to sound casual but I hear a hint of fear in his voice. He's always been afraid of me, not just because he knows what I've done, but because I'm so much larger than him. He's a very small man. One punch to his throat and I could kill him.
"You didn't do it yourself but you made the assignment."
I hit record, so I have proof of this conversation in case I need it.
"It was Katherine's idea. Not mine."
I chuckle. "You're awfully quick to shove her under the bus."
And by doing so, he's answered my earlier question. His fear of me is greater than his loyalty to Katherine.
"I'm sick and tired of her bossing me around," he says. "Let her tell Caroline. I don't care anymore." He inhales sharply, realizing his mistake. "I'm not saying there was anything going on. I just—"
"So now I have blackmail to use against you as well."
"Pearce, no. I made it up. It's not true."
"It's true, but I already knew about it. Katherine snuck out of our room a few times when we were staying with you. I followed her and saw her with you."
"Why didn't you say something?"
"Because by then, I really didn't care. We had no marriage left. We were both seeing other people. But I'm sure Caroline would feel differently."
"Don't tell her. Please don't tell her."
"Your marital issues are the least of my concerns. I called you today to get your assurance that you will never again go after Rachel. As you know, I have a deal with the organization, and anyone who breaks that deal will be punished. In fact, the members were kind enough to allow me to decide the punishment should something like this ever happen."
"That's not true. They wouldn't do that."
"Look it up. It's in the contract I signed when I gave over the company." I wait for him to challenge the statement but he doesn't so I continue. "I'm giving you a pass this time, Phillip, but if you try this again, all bets are off. I will make sure you are given the harshest punishment possible. Something slow. Painful. Drawn out. One you might never recover from."
"You're sick, you know that?"
"I am my father's son. And as I recall, you always admired my father. Now do we have a deal?"
"Yes. I'll leave her alone."
"Not just you, but anyone who works for you, including freelancers or candidates for membership. You will not allow harm to come to her in any way, from anyone. Is that clear?"
"Yes."
"And what if Katherine tells you to try again?"
"I'll tell her no."
"You better not be lying to me. If you even think of trying this again, well, let's just say I'm already coming up with ideas."
"For what?"
"Your punishment. My father had some good ones. But I'll include a few of my own."
"Stop threatening me! I told you I'd leave her alone. And I'll deal with Katherine."
"Very well. I'll see you at the next meeting. Give Caroline my regards."
Despite his fear of me, I still don't trust him. I'll hire someone to keep watch on him, listen to his conversations, monitor his digital data. I should've done this before, but I didn't think he was stupid enough to try to harm Rachel. He knows I'd kill him if he did, and he's lucky I'm not doing so now. The only reason I'm not is because I don't want to deal with the fallout that would result. Killing him would cause an investigation by the organization and I'd likely be called into hearings with the ruling committee and be interviewed by the higher level members and who knows what else? It would get me far too involved with them, so for now, I'll leave Phillip alone but monitor his every action.
Later that night, Rachel and I watch a movie with Lilly. She hasn't asked me any more questions and she hasn't called Reed yet. She hasn't even mentioned his name. She didn't actually agree to break up with him, so I'm a little concerned that she won't, thinking maybe this will all work out and she won't have to. She's an optimist, like Rachel, always hoping for the best.
On Monday, I leave for New York. Before I left, I made sure Rachel and Lilly were safe and sound at Garret's house. I considered having Rachel come with me to New York but then decided against it. I'll be at William's office all day so wouldn't be with her even if she were there.
She'll be safe with Garret. Over the years, I've taught both Rachel and Garret how to protect themselves and given them the tools to do so. That's why Rachel was able to kill that man. She acted quickly and didn't hesitate. It was the first time she's ever killed someone so she's having a difficult time getting past it. I keep reminding her it was self-defense but I know she'll always feel at least some level of guilt that she took a life.
"Mr. Kensington." Sue, William's assistant, greets me as I walk off the elevator. "It's good to see you again. How have you been?"
"Fine. Although I wish I were here under different circumstances."
She frowns. "I know. I feel terrible for William. I don't understand why they can't find the cause of his illness. He's been like this for months."
Before I came to the office, I stopped by William's house to see him. I only stayed a few minutes because I'll see him tonight after work, but during my brief visit, he seemed very tired and a little out of it. If he continues to feel this way, he'll have to give up his position at the organization, allowing someone else to take his spot. That can't happen. There are only a handful of good people there and those people tend to not want to be leaders. They'd rather lay low and not make waves, which means someone like Phillip will try to take William's position. A power hungry man who strives to turn the organization back to what it was before, a group whose only mission is to obtain power at any possible cost.
Lilly and Reed: A Kensington Family Novel Page 24