by Lucia Ashta
“Who patched her up?”
“Our mother and I did,” Traya said, sounding far more in control of her faculties than Rane.
“Is your mother the one who did the sutures?”
“Aye, I only applied the salve.”
“Well you both did a fine job of it.” He ran his hand along the uninjured side of Rose’s neck. “Where’d you find her?”
“Uh, um, out in the forest.” Rane hadn’t asked me where I’d found her.
“In the forest, huh? That’s unusual.”
“Yes, sir.”
“I’m not ‘sir.’”
“Aye, sir, I mean, uh, Dean?”
Dean almost chuckled as Rane fumbled, but he caught himself. “Dean is fine,” he said. “It’s my name after all.”
“Yes, sir.” Rane’s pale face finally regained its color, but it was the wrong tone. His neck, cheeks, and nose grew red. “Dean.” He clamped his lips shut, looking like he might pass out at any moment.
There were few things I enjoyed in life as much as ribbing my twin, but not in moments like these, not when he was truly suffering. I wanted to end his torment, which I knew was because he was terrified for me, but I couldn’t figure out what to do to speed things up. Rose was taking her time becoming comfortable with Dean, and the dragon charmer was far too experienced to hurry the foundation of trust.
We were trapped.
Dean examined Rose without moving anything but his gaze. “These wounds don’t look like they were inflicted by another dragon. I think she fell, or was pushed, off a cliff.” It didn’t take Dean long to arrive at the same conclusion I had. “She’s lucky to have survived. Some of these wounds are pretty serious, and from the way she keeps wanting to lay down, she probably has internal injuries, too.”
It was a logical conclusion if you ignored the fact that she was leaning on an invisible shadow walker.
“You did the right thing in bringing her to me.” Dean ran his hand the length of Rose’s body, his hand just a foot from my legs. It was a good thing Rose was large, if not Dean would have touched me already.
Rane and Traya looked incapable of speech. Each time Dean lifted his hand to pet Rose, they flinched as if it were their bodies he almost touched, not mine.
“I’ll take care of her,” Dean said, and I wondered if we were following what he was saying as closely as we should. I could barely concentrate over the whoosh whoosh whooshing pulsing through my head. “I assume that’s why you brought her here.”
When no one answered, Dean turned to Rane and Traya. “Hey, are you guys okay?”
“Yeah, aye, we’re fine,” Rane said far too quickly.
“You don’t look fine,” Dean said, and stood. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing, sir, Dean. Everything’s fine.” Rane pursed his lips shut.
Dean took his time studying Rane and then Traya. My siblings looked as if they were struggling to relax, with as much success at it as I was having. “Maybe you should take a rest before class starts. You look like you could use it.”
“We’re fine, really,” Traya said.
“No, no you’re not. Something’s wrong, and if you won’t tell me what, then I’ll deal with you as I see fit. You don’t have enough time to go all the way back to your house to rest before class, so what you’ll do is go back up the trail until you reach the first clearing in the forest to the left. Do you know which one I’m talking about?”
“Aye,” Traya said.
“Good. You’re both to take a lay-down until the Suxle rises. I don’t want to see you back here even a moment before, am I clear?”
“Yes, sir.” Rane didn’t even try to correct himself this time. He looked mortified and terrified all at once.
“I mean it, you’re to follow my directions. Up to the clearing, then rest until class time.”
“All right,” Traya said, sparing Rane the torment of tripping over his tongue.
“Good. Now go.”
“Right now?”
“Right now. Or is there a reason you shouldn’t that I need to know about?”
“No, no reason,” Traya said, and it wasn’t a lie. There was a reason, but not one he needed to know about.
Rane flicked a look at me, then started to back away. When Traya didn’t follow, he took her hand.
Dean said, “Thank you for bringing the dragon to me. She’s most extraordinary, the most extraordinary thing I’ve ever seen.”
He watched until Rane and Traya left earshot, then he turned and looked, not at the extraordinary dragon at my feet, but straight at me.
“Most extraordinary indeed,” he repeated. This time, I understood he meant me, not the dragon he’d prepared to study all his life.
16
“Are you going to tell me what’s going on, or should I start guessing?” Dean asked, his focus on me, no longer the little dragon at my feet.
My brain was processing his words, but nowhere near as quickly as usual. I hadn’t decided what I should or shouldn’t do by the time he continued.
“Okay then, my first guess is that you’re the dragon spirit, who’s accompanied this injured dragon because you’re some kind of dragon protector. Not like we are, but one that operates in the unseen world to help the majestic dragons.”
Well, he has the unseen part down, that’s for sure. But that was about it.
“Am I right?” he continued. “Are you the dragon spirit I met the other day in this same spot?”
My breathing, which I’d been careful to control since we met Dean, came faster, and I was struggling to keep it below the audible range. If I couldn’t get my act together, Dean was going to have plenty of evidence that someone was there, dragon spirit or not.
“Will you answer me? I promise you, I won’t do anything to harm you or this dragon. And I keep my promises.”
I’d heard that about him, but beyond that, he just felt like the kind of person who would keep a promise. Not all of our people understood the importance of honesty, but I did. My integrity was one of the few things I actually had control over. It was the one thing no one could take away from me.
Dean allowed sufficient time for me to answer, but I didn’t say a word. Too many conflicting thoughts raced through my overwhelmed brain. I wasn’t used to this. Walking in the shadows, I was normally able to follow my instincts about what I should do next—more or less, more than the other tribespeople, I was certain.
But I didn’t know what to do. There was a strong part of me that believed Dean could be trusted as he claimed. I wanted to share my secret with him, the one that’d been festering inside me for so long that it felt as if I would burst if I didn’t get to come out of my self-imposed isolation—the one that was necessary to my survival.
Yet there was another part of me that warred against my instincts—the voice of reason—which Mother had fueled with warnings of what would happen if I were discovered. If my sense of trust for Dean turned out to be mistaken, my entire family, along with the midwife, would pay for my misplaced trust. Perhaps they wouldn’t die as I certainly would, but life as they knew it would be over for them. And they didn’t deserve that.
It didn’t matter much that I didn’t deserve the condemnation that my condition subjected me to either. Trusting Dean with my secret wasn’t my choice to make.
I yearned to reveal myself to the dragon charmer. But I wouldn’t.
My breathing quieted as I came to the decision. It wasn’t a decision I was happy with, but I’d never been truly happy with my life, despite my attempts to see the best in it. When you could see life, and it couldn’t see you, it was hard to feel complete. My heart, already bruised from the thought of releasing Rose to Dean’s care, squeezed.
My life stunk, but there was nothing new about that. It was time to suck it up and do what I needed to do, just as I always did.
When I moved beyond the loud pulsing in my head and tuned into what Dean was saying, I realized I’d missed something big. What he was saying didn’t make sense. How di
d I manage to miss a conversation that I was a part of? Because this is all too much. I pushed away the thought, but not my reactions to it. My situation in life was a lot for me, it always had been. But even when I didn’t feel strong enough to face the challenges that came from being the way I was, I still had to rise to meet them.
Just like I did then.
Dean said, “Will you do that?”
“Will I do what?” I said. Then I froze.
Dean’s green eyes grew wide, but he otherwise hid his shock at hearing the voice of the supposedly empty space in front of him.
I hadn’t thought. I’d just done what was natural. I’d spoken, forgetting for that instant, which I regrettably couldn’t take back, that I wasn’t like other human beings. I was in big trouble now. Not only had I revealed to Dean that I was there, beyond his suspicions, but that I was right next to him, and right above Rose.
Dean moved as carefully as he did with the dragon. He directed his gaze at my face slowly, so I wouldn’t startle.
It was too late for that, I was beyond startled. I was so freaked out that I’d passed the point of complete freak-out and arrived at resignation and acceptance, all in the flash of a second it took to understand that I’d clumsily put my life in the hands of this dragon charmer—again.
I wanted to run, but I wouldn’t leave Rose. Dean might be able to take care of her, but she was my charge. Even if my job as her protector was self-imposed, her body language indicated that she agreed.
My brain, finally working properly again, told me I was in danger, the worst of my life. But my body just wouldn’t get in line with my brain. My shoulders relaxed, my breathing slowed of its own accord, and I felt like smiling, even though my brain was adamant that was the last thing I should be doing.
Dean stood, and I finally noticed he hadn’t answered my question yet. When he drew to his full height, he was a head length taller than me, and Rose attempted to wrap herself around me entirely. She whimpered when her movement stretched her wounds, especially her tail, but she continued, and it made me think perhaps she was trying to protect me. The irony of it was that neither one of us could do much to protect the other if this man wished to do us harm.
He was armed, but I doubted he’d need to withdraw any of his weapons to hurt us. He moved with the confidence of a born warrior. He was fierce-looking, the long scar at his neck proving he was the kind of person to keep fighting no matter what the odds. His green eyes held me pinned in place, even though I still doubted he could see me. Everything about him spelled danger.
And yet my body wasn’t reacting that way. My heart was at ease, in total opposition to my mind that was screaming at me to run and leave Rose behind.
Fast as the deadly Vikas vipers, Dean lashed out at me. I flinched and tried to pull back, but I had a dragon on my feet and didn’t manage even a step of retreat before Dean captured my wrist. His strong hand wrapped around my slender wrist entirely. A low growl rolled through Rose’s chest, revealing that she did wish to protect me as I did her.
“It’s okay, girl,” Dean said to Rose. “I won’t harm either one of you, I promise. I will never do anything to put either of you in harm’s way.”
Rose’s growl faded into nothing in her chest. It seemed that she both understood and believed him.
Conflicting thoughts fought for dominance. Yank your wrist from his hold and run as fast as you can! Holy moly, he caught my wrist as if he can see me. I don’t feel like running, I want to stay right here, with Rosie and Dean. That last thought was the most dangerous of them, but it was how I felt.
When I didn’t struggle, he released my wrist, and brought his hand to hold mine. His hand was nearly twice as large as my own, and it reminded me of what it’d felt like to have a father who would hold my hand, allowing me to pretend I was just like the rest of my siblings.
“What I was asking you,” Dean said, as if he hadn’t just confirmed that I was physical substance, “is if you would guide me in caring for this little dragon?”
I wasn’t sure what to say. This entire experience was beyond anything I was prepared for.
“It appears that it is you, and not me, she wants to be with.”
With difficulty, I pulled my eyes away from the intensity of Dean’s stare and looked at Rose. She was looking up at the exchange between me and the man that towered above both of us.
Should I speak? I asked myself the question when it was a little too late for caution. There was no way I could hide from Dean now, and I didn’t want to.
“Will you assist me in helping this dragon, who was probably rejected by her own kind for her differences?”
I hesitated for a second, but then spoke. “I’ll do everything I can to protect her.”
Dean startled again, but he did a good job of hiding his reaction. I guessed it would take a while for him to get used to someone he couldn’t see speaking to him. “Good, that’s very good. Are you the one who actually discovered her, not that boy, Rane?”
“Yes, but I asked him to tell you that it was he.” Rane had been the one to suggest it, but I’d more or less agreed to the plan. I hadn’t outwardly objected to it, at least.
“Where did you find her? I’m sorry, I’m not really sure how to address you. I have no concept of your powers or level of faithum. I don’t know if you just happened to find her, or if you know everything that goes on, and went directly to her aid. So please forgive me if I misspeak or misinterpret things.”
“As long as you’ll forgive me when I misspeak and misinterpret.” I was guaranteed to do both.
That seemed to surprise him nearly as much as hearing me talk. “You are not— You’re not infallible then?”
“Oh no, I’m far from it.”
“I’m grateful you’re speaking with me. It’s very difficult to understand what’s going on with little to guide me.”
I doubted Dean had little to guide him. I got the feeling that he listened to the whisperings of intuition as much as I did. But I was unique, and not even I understood myself, or my condition.
Dean asked, “Was I correct in thinking you’re a dragon spirit? It seems you’re most certainly a dragon protector, given how this little dragon leans on you for support.”
“Her name is Rose. I call her Rosie.”
“Rosie.” The hard lines of Dean’s face softened in a smile that reached his eyes. “That’s a very fitting name.”
I stared at him hard. I took in the warmth of his smile and the light that illuminated his green eyes. I trust him. I wasn’t looking for the thought, but it arrived nonetheless. That part of me, deep within, that I’d learned never to question, had spoken. I would listen. I’d vowed to myself long ago that I always would. When you’re part of the unseen world, it’s easier to believe what occurs within it.
“I wasn’t sure that you’d have a physical body,” he said, “but I thought you might. What do you look like?” He moved his hand along my forearm so gently that it felt like the wind’s caress.
“I don’t know what I look like. I can’t see myself either.” I spoke now with unfiltered honesty. My mother would have a heart attack on the spot if she learned of my behavior, but I was following a guidance beyond this world. The beat of life and the universe spoke to me, and it outranked Mother.
“Is that difficult for you?”
“Very.”
“Are you— Do you know— Are you a spirit?” He fumbled along. There were so many possibilities to consider if he had no idea what I was.
“No.”
“What are you then? If it’s proper to ask. I mean no offense, I’m just trying to understand.”
You and me both, buddy. Should I tell him? If I did, it would imply trusting him completely—and I already did. “I’m a girl.”
A pulse of surprise ran through Dean’s body and into his hand, which still touched my arm. “A girl? Really? You’re a... human being?”
“I believe so.” I couldn’t be certain. How could I be when there was no
one else out there like me? I’d built my concept of myself around calculated guesswork.
“Wow, by the oasis, this is incredible. A girl.”
“Aye.”
“And how do you find yourself here among the Ooba people?”
“This is where the universe delivered me.”
His eyes widened. “Here? You’ve been here, among us, for what? A while?” I’d never heard Dean express himself so ineloquently, but I didn’t blame him. It was clear that my existence was blowing his mind wide open.
“I’ve lived with the Ooba people for almost seventeen years.”
He whistled. “Seventeen years? And no one knew you existed until now?”
“Something like that.”
He studied me, and it seemed as if he decided not to press the point. “So let me see if I understand this. You’re a human girl, who’s invisible?”
“That’s right.”
“Are you like humans in every way except for being invisible?”
“Pretty much. It’s hard to say for sure since I can’t see myself.” I was leaving the likelihood of looking like my twin completely out of it.
“But you’re connected to something greater than humans, right?”
“I am connected to something greater.” But weren’t all humans, whether they realized it or not?
“Are you connected to the Something Greater?”
“I don’t know. Maybe.” I had difficulty in accepting the notion that a specific power, greater than us, governed the happenings of human lives. I felt connected to everything around me. To all parts of life, not just one concentration of it.
“How is it that you’re invisible? Is it faithum?”
“I have no idea why I’m invisible. None at all.”
“But certainly you must possess some faithum.”
“Yes, perhaps.” It was a thought I hadn’t spent enough time contemplating. There had to be some explanation for my existence. Faithum seemed like the best one—if faithum really existed.
“You have faithum. I can feel it.”
Now it was my turn for surprise. “You... feel... faithum?”
“Of course I do. Don’t you?”