The Trouble with Polly Brown
Page 55
“Oh, Lucy. You look absolutely awful, yes, like a whitewashed tomb,” she shakily muttered under her breath. “Lucy, it’s me, Polly. I’ve come to say good-bye.”
Lucinda appeared to be asleep.
“Lucy, please wake up. I beg you, for I urgently wish to speak with you,” Polly whispered in her ear, at the same time removing some limp strands of hair away from over her friend’s eyes. Still there was no movement.
“Lucy, please talk to me. I’m begging you.”
Lucy finally rolled over and opened her eyes. Polly immediately noticed that both her trembling wrists were tightly bandaged.
“Lucy, please tell me this is not what I think it is,” Polly cried out loud.
Lucy refused to reply as she lay on her back looking vacant with a lone tear rolling down her cheek.
“Forget the celebration with apple pie, Lucy, for I cannot bear to leave you in this way,” Polly whispered as she wiped away Lucinda’s tear before planting a small kiss on her forehead. “I’ll be back in a jiff,” she sniffed, as she then turned to race up the ward toward the door.
A nurse caught hold of her arm as she fled down the ward.
“What’s wrong, deary?” she asked out of polite concern.
“Leave me alone, for I just need to get out of here,” a distraught Polly cried as she continued to race down the ward toward the exit door.
Polly burst through the exit door and was immediately met by Lady Butterkist, who was on her way in search of her.
“Polly dear, what on earth is the matter?” she quizzed as Polly quite unexpectedly threw herself into the arms of the lady.
With tears in her eyes, Polly looked up and at first found herself unable to speak, such was her distress.
“Now take a deep breath, Polly. There’s a dear,” Lady Butterkist gently ordered. “There, take one more. Yes, breathe in deeply, and then come and sit down on this bench beside me,” she ordered as she gently directed Polly toward a long bench in the hospital corridor. “There. That’s much better. Now we can talk.”
“Oh, Lady B., as much as I want to come with you and go on this holiday to the west country, I simply cannot even think to leave Lucy behind, and so, put plainly, I am unable to go with you.”
“Now, hang on a moment, Polly.”
“No, Lady B., I cannot hang on, for dear Lucy’s poor life is just about hanging on by a thread, and she is in the worst crisis I have ever seen her in. As I am her only lifeline in that I am the only true friend she has, then I must remain close at hand, for right now she needs me more than ever,” she wept as she stumbled to get the words out.
“Right then, Polly dear. I must also go and see what I can do for her. So do as I say and go back into the ward and await my return,” she sternly ordered.
Lady Butterkist then marched determinedly down the long corridor as though she were on a serious mission, and Polly obeyed by making her way back to Lucinda’s bed.
Once there, she immediately resumed consoling her friend. “Lucy, please take Langdon and look after him for me, will you? He will keep you warm, and he will hold all your tears, for he is a truly faithful elephant. I have told the good lady who has come to visit me that I will not leave without you. As usual, this might well get me into tons of trouble. Who knows? They may decide to lock me up for quite a long time for being such a nuisance and rebel. If they do, I will not see you for a long time, but I want you to know that I am near you, and I will be sending my love to you every single minute of the day,” she simpered.
Another lone tear rolled down one of Lucy’s sunken, hollow cheeks as she still lay staring up into space.
Polly took hold of her hand and continued to promise to be there for her and do all she could for her close friend.
“Lucy, we really are in this together. We are more than friends; we are sisters, and so you mean everything to me,” she whimpered.
Suddenly Polly was forced to look up, for there was quite a commotion going on at the door entrance. A sorely fueled-up Lady Butterkist had once more returned to the scene.
“Nurse, do your job and take me immediately to Lucinda’s bed,” she sharply ordered.
The nurse dutifully obeyed, and seconds later Lady Butterkist found herself standing at the end of bed as an anxious Polly sat holding Lucinda’s pale, thin hand.
“Right, Polly. Everything is sorted. You, young lady, are definitely coming with me to the west country.”
“I’m so sorry, Lady B., but without wishing to offend you further, I don’t think you quite understand my position, for there is no way I’m leaving here today without Lucy,” she glumly cried.
“Well, Polly dear, that’s very good to hear, for I assure you that dear Lucinda is now coming with us too.”
On hearing the surprisingly good news, Polly instantly burst into tears.
“Now then, Polly, don’t you dare throw a wobbly on me, for there’s been more than enough emotions expressed throughout this day.”
“Are you sure? Answer me truthfully and tell me this is not some stupid, mindless joke.”
“Hand on heart, this is no joke, Polly, for I would not do such a thing to you of all people. Lucinda really is coming on holiday with us,” Lady Butterkist confirmed. “Yes, girls, it will be nothing but fun and frolics for the next four weeks, I will see to that.”
“Frolics?”
“Oh, that’s an old-fashioned word for ‘constant laughter,’ or something like that. We, my dears, are going to have ourselves a simply glorious time,” she triumphantly stated.
“That’s all well and good, but can you not see for yourself that Lucy is looking so pale and poorly that I cannot imagine ever seeing a smile light up her pretty face again?” Polly ruefully observed.
“Well, let’s get on the road, shall we? Then we will see what can be done to help dear Lucinda.”
“Lady B., tell me straight: how can we leave to go on holiday when the news circulating around the wards is that you are the celebrity expected to cut the ribbon at the official ward-opening ceremony, which I am told is less than two days away?”
“Well, Polly, believe it or not, I’ve already sorted out that little problem, for I do indeed have friends in high places.”
“High places?”
“Polly, do be a dear and stop repeating my every word, for it’s very irritating to say the least. When I say ‘high places,’ that’s precisely what I mean. Yes, my dear, I have arranged for one of England’s latest and biggest celebrities to take my place and, so, cut the ribbon.”
“Really, who is that then?” a surprised Polly quizzed.
“Well, someone who has a real thirst for champagne and who cannot bear to be out of the limelight for any length of time.”
“Don’t speak in riddles. Tell me now, for I’m dying to know,” Polly wistfully groaned.
“Well, don’t get too excited Polly, but it is none other than Freddie Fruitless! How’s that for a spectacular event?” she cried, clasping her hands as she savored her sheer brilliance.
“What? Freddie Fruitless?” an alarmed Polly cried.
“Polly dear, I hate to say this, but you’re doing it again by repeating my words. So yes, dear, you heard right the first time. Freddie Fruitless is taking over from me. Now, if you wish to stay behind because, like every other teenage girl, you too secretly adore the man, then I will try my best to understand and come to terms with it.”
“Oh, Lady B., I fear you have made one terribly big mistake, for please don’t be offended when I say out loud that the man is a real slimy toad—and I know this firsthand!”
“Hmm. I had hoped that might be your reaction, for in all fairness, if the man keeps on going down this most destructive path, well, he might as well get an early preview of where he is almost certain to end,” she stated very tongue in cheek.
“Are you saying that he may well find himself incarcerated behind the walls of a mental institution?”
“Yes, Polly, I do, but time alone will tell. It
is all up to him, for fame and fortune most certainly come with a heavy price tag.”
“So is Dr. Ninkumpoop happy to be getting Freddie?”
“Oh, absolutely! Dear Dr. Ninkumpoop really brightened up, well, momentarily anyway, and he became most ecstatic at the news, especially when I told him that I had already settled things in terms of financial reimbursement, for, as you are probably aware, these stars do not come cheap.”
“Oh, Lady B.,” Polly giggled.
“Yes, and he is not a totally stupid man, for he knows that such a big name like that will most certainly pull bigger crowds than some rustic old dame—minus her nylon stockings,” she said, giving Polly a most mischievous wink.
“Oh, Lady B., you really are becoming a bit of a scallywag.”
“Well, I don’t know about that, but if I could predict anything of tomorrow’s events, then certainly, I believe, by the time the official ceremony is well under way, many a tongue will indeed be wagging. Anyway, enough said. Let us concentrate all our efforts on getting dear Lucinda back to normal, as she really needs a lot of tender, loving care.”
“Oh, Lucy, this is the best treat that has happened to either of us in a very long time. I promise you we will have such fun and friendship,” she cried as she squeezed Lucy’s pale hand tightly. “So let’s get you up and dressed and ready to go,” Polly excitedly cried.
“Yes, Lucinda dear. I am not at liberty to divulge all that has taken place, but I can say that I had the good doctor ring your parents at their home and suggest that this special vacation would be most be most beneficial in nursing you back to full health. The poor darlings are so anxious to see you whole and happy that they were more than willing to agree to this trip. So let’s waste no further time. We will get a nurse to help you get dressed into more suitable clothing, as well as pack your belongings, and then we must head down to the good doctor’s office to say our final good-byes.”
“Thank you so much, Lady B. In fact, thank you for everything, for you are such a miracle worker,” Polly sniffed as she fought back tears of great joy.
“Don’t mention it, dear, but do please wipe away those tears, or we will all begin boo-hooing, and that will most likely panic and upset many of the other emotionally fragile patients. Don’t you think?”
“Yes, Lady B. I’m sure you’re right. It’s just I am feeling so overwhelmed with gratitude for all the unearned kindness you have shown me.”
“Well, thank you, Polly, for a grateful heart is a very healthy thing, for it is indeed good that we all try to daily count our blessings. Now, let’s go and say our good-byes and thank the wonderful, hard-working nurses for all the good and sacrificial work that they do. Then when Lucinda is ready, we must quickly head down to the dear doctor’s office to sign ourselves out of this ghastly facility.”
As they entered the ward office they were met by a nurse holding a severely drooping floral arrangement.
“Milady, Dr. Ninkumpoop told me to give you these, but I can’t for the life of me imagine why, as they look as dead as a doorpost,” she sniffed.
“Well, I’m a dab hand at bringing things back to life, so thank you, nurse,” Lady Butterkist replied as she took charge of the flower arrangement.
On the way down the stairs, Polly continued on with their conversation. “Why would the doctor even think to give you a bunch of dead flowers?” a very inquisitive Polly asked.
“Well, Polly, this might surprise you, but I actually asked to be allowed to take them away, as it appears to me that nothing has much chance of surviving in here. Yes, let the dead bury the dead. But trust me when I say a little bit of fresh air, coupled with a bit of nurturing care, will see these flowers once more blooming, and in no time at all,” she enthused.
“Well, they look way beyond all hope to me,” Polly rather openly and rudely declared.
“Well, that’s what they said about you, dear, but that certainly did not turn out to be the case, did it?” Lady Butterkist gently reminded Polly.
“Oh, Lady B., you really do have an answer for everything.”
“Hmm. It certainly appears that way, but I prefer to think of myself as simply a thoroughly charming, efficacious old lady.”
“Efficacious! Is that really a word, or have you simply made it up?”
“My dear, I truly resent such a spurious allegation being pointed at me,” she stated as she gave the pretence of being truly offended.
“Well then, don’t hold out, for what does efficacious really mean?”
“Well, Polly, I’ll leave that for you to find out for yourself—with the help of your little dictionary, of course!”
“Oh, of course, and I promise to report back once I have the answer.”
“Want to know something, Polly? I believe even my nylons have managed to play their little part in one of today’s many small but precious miracles,” she said as she quickly changed the subject. “Yes, for with their help Blenkinsopp was able to temporarily mend the fan belt and so get the coach back on the road.”
“That’s very true,” Polly interjected.
“Therefore, the darling little pensioners will, happily, not go home hungry and disappointed, as we can all finally head off for some tea and crumpets at the castle,” she informed Polly in a very matter-offact tone of voice.
“Oh, the castle,” Polly sniffed, giving a sigh as deep as a deflating air balloon. “I don’t know how ready I am for that.”
“Polly dear, stop yourself now, for you really will worry yourself into an early grave. Remember that you are not going back there alone, for I will be alongside you every step of the way to give you all necessary support. And let’s face it—before you can say, ‘Is there any mustard in this custard?’ we will all be heading off to the land of the tiddy oggy.”
“Oh, no. Lady B., please no more strange lands or kingdoms, for I’m still desperately trying to get over Piadora,” Polly dared to confess.
“Polly, stop right there! Do not say another word! For one thing, you must never even consider allowing yourself to get over Piadora. Oh, no. It must course through your veins like blood on its way back to the heart in search of fresh oxygen. Polly, believe me when I say that Piadora is your lifeline and your comfort in times of trouble. Piadora is your hope and confidence, so under no circumstances—and I repeat, under no circumstances—must you ever forget this.”
“Yes, Lady B. Forgive me for ever saying such a terrible thing.”
“I do, Polly. I do. Secondly, please don’t fret, for my reference to the tiddy oggy is merely a different way of saying that we, my dear, will be traveling down to the delightful coast of Cornwall, home of the famous Cornish pasty, better known in more informed circles as the good old tiddy oggy.”
“Oh, now I remember, for my good friend Ralph introduced me to those lovely pies that the wives of the Cornish tin miners used to bake and give their husbands to take down into the tin mines for their lunch.”
“Tell me, Polly dear. This Ralph fellow, was he nice and kind to you? I mean, did he become something of a true and close friend?” Lady Butterkist asked.
“Oh, Lady B., come to think of it, now that you mention it, he had the same color eyes as you and, come to think of it, a very similar shaped nose.”
“Oh really!”
“Yes, but the similarities really do end there, for if I tell you this, you really must keep it to yourself,” she said in a most adult fashion.
“Go on, Polly, spill the beans, and please leave nothing out,” she demanded, as she was very eager to know what Polly really thought about Ralph.
“Well, I hate to speak ill of anyone.”
“Go on, go on,” Lady Butterkist urged.
“Well, if I’m to be perfectly frank, there were times when he stank to high heavens,” she said, pinching the end of her nose to truly emphasize the point.
“Really! That bad?”
“Yes, really.”
“Oh my goodness!”
“Well, in his defense,
he might have been a bit of a stinky Pete, but his terrible circumstances sadly dictated that he live on the streets. At times that meant rummaging through filthy, smelly hotel dustbins as he went in search of food. That is why at times he truly ponged. But to be really honest, milady, I have to say that he had a wonderful, generous, and kind heart. Yes, he would share his last crust of bread with you if he had to, and I truly miss him,” she confessed.
“In fact, we shared many a hot tiddy oggy as we sat and talked about all my inner struggles, as well as the many overwhelming challenges I regularly faced. So it will seem terribly strange to once more swallow down a tiddy oggy without that sweet and kind gentleman being at my side,” she sighed.
“Well dear, I’m told that absence makes the heart grow fonder.”
“Yes, I’m sure that’s true, but I would really love to speak and share with him once more, especially over a few rather yummy tiddy oggies,” Polly once more sighed.
“Personally speaking, I can’t wait to sink my teeth into a deliciously scrumptious tiddy oggy,” Lady Butterkist brightly declared.
“Sounds good to me,” Polly laughed. “So let’s quickly say good-bye to the doctor and then hightail it out of here.”
“Yes, but what of poor, beleaguered Dr. Ninkumpoop? This day started off so well for him; that is, until he met me,” Lady Butterkist sniffed, shrugging her shoulders as if to express her total bewilderment. “Now suddenly he’s three patients down and minus a considerable amount of his stash of much prized and ridiculously expensive choice tea.”
“Yes, and from what I hear, he’s also nursing a very sore throat,” Polly interrupted.
“Yes, it’s hard to imagine just how poorly the dear man is at present feeling or what will transpire next, for his confusion is such that I imagine in his present condition he would be perfectly incapable of even finding his way out of a paper bag,” she said. “I hate to be the harbinger of terrible tidings, but one cannot even begin to speculate as to what might happen next,” she mischievously sighed.
On listening to the dear lady, Polly suddenly broke into a ridiculously huge smile. “Oh, you really are something of an angel,” she cried, as out of the blue she gave Lady Butterfly Lips one of her almighty rib-cracking Polly Brown hugs.