Mental Training

by S. B. Sheeran

  Except that wasn’t how life worked and she doubted Gracie was into sappy love songs like that.

  “Life’s a bitch sometimes, isn’t it?” Darcie stated, running a hand through her messy blonde hair. “I’d just say be careful. You’re my best friend and I love you. I’ll have your back no matter how crappy your decisions are.”

  “Like trying to beat up Gracie and attempting to get her fired?”

  Sniffing delicately, Darcie mockingly admired her perfectly manicured nails. “I said I wasn’t afraid to ruin my $50 dollar manicure for the sake of my best friend. Now for the firing part that was a simple misunderstanding.”

  “Yeah, right. Misunderstanding my ass.” Olivia said, scoffing loudly. “You know that she could totally kick your butt, right? There’s a motto that says choose your battles wisely.”

  “When have you ever known me to be wise?”

  They both burst out laughing, heads resting on the back of the little couch. The afternoon sunlight bore down on them hotly and thunder boomed in the distance as it always did in the late summer afternoons. Sitting next to Darcie, their thighs casually brushing one another’s, a sense of calm fell over Olivia.

  Everything would be alright in the end. She had that much faith in whatever controlled the universe.

  CHAPTER 4

  “Olivia!” Bruce called, waving his hand in a greeting. “You’re back finally. How are you feeling?”

  Olivia lifted her hand back in greeting, but didn’t reply. She hurried towards the locker room, hoping he wouldn’t follow from where he stood behind the front counter. It was already awkward enough coming back to the gym after being gone for several weeks. Her hopes were crushed, however, when Bruce followed her along the matted floors.

  “I’m fine, Bruce. Just been busy is all.”

  “Well, you look good for recovering from the swine flu.” Bruce said, yellow teeth flashing in a smile. “I mean, not many people can work out after battling that. You don’t even look like you’ve lost weight. It actually looks like you gained weight.”

  She clenched her teeth and resisted the urge to smack Bruce squarely on his wrinkled forehead. That was the explanation Gracie gave to the gym? Olivia sighed inwardly, but nodded politely at Bruce none the less.

  “Thanks, Bruce. If you can excuse me-”

  “Hold on, speedie.” He held out a packet of Lysol wipes and tossed them to her. “If you could wipe down the equipment after you’re done that would be awesome. Can’t have the flu germs spreading everywhere.”

  Her face burned with embarrassment as she quickly changed into her work out clothes. She would chat with Gracie later and thank her for picking something like that to explain her sudden disappearance. Tucking the Lysol wipes in her bra to keep Bruce away, Olivia exited the locker room.

  Gracie stood by the shelves of weights, tanned arms crossed over her breasts. Chocolate eyes flicked over in her direction and her foot began to tap in obvious impatience. The gesture brought a small smile to her face, thankful that the tension between them was slowly drifting away.

  “You’re late.” Gracie scolded, picking up a set of weights. “Are you ready to start?”

  “Ready as I’ll ever be... Coach.”

  Gracie grinned widely at the nickname and just like that things were back to the way they were a few weeks ago. The next hour flew by in a surreal haze of sweatiness and the close proximity of Gracie as she spotted her or offered words of encouragement. Her muscles burned from the inactivity of the past few weeks and the several jars of cake frosting she had consumed. Something that Bruce kindly pointed out.

  After they completed a few reps of arm curls and upper body exercises, Gracie motioned for Olivia to lay down on the matted floor. “Okay, let’s stretch out your thigh muscles before I put you on the treadmill.”

  Olivia groaned at the thought of running. She had never been much of a cardio person, even when she first started working out. The jars of cake frosting were not compatible with running a mile. Her body was already drenched in sweat and limbs trembling from exhaustion.

  “Can we hold off on the tread mill?” She asked, hoping for a little bit of reprieve.

  Gracie’s eyes narrowed at the question, apparently not in the mood to take it easy tonight. “No, we can’t not hold off on the tread mill. I can tell you haven’t been working out for awhile.”

  “Thanks.” Olivia grumbled, lowering herself to the ground. “That’s really what I like to hear someone say is how out of shape I am.”

  She stretched out on her back from the previous times Gracie had shown her. Soft, but firm hands gripped the back of her knee and propped her leg up on Gracie’s shoulder. With grace and gentleness, Gracie leant forward with her hands straddling Olivia’s head to stretch out her thigh muscles.

  Olivia squirmed in uncomfortableness and it had little to do with her thigh muscle being stretched. The strands of Gracie’s hair tickled the side of her face and the smell of sugar surrounded her in a pleasurable cloud. It took all of Olivia’s strength not to reach out and trail her fingers over the delicate clavicles visible from beneath the skin tight tank top.

  Their eyes met. Several emotions flickered in her chocolate depths, but a small flicker of desire caught Olivia’s full attention. The loud chatter of the gym faded away as Olivia stared up at the woman above her. She felt Gracie shift ever so slightly and lowered herself even more so that Olivia’s knee nearly touched her chest.

  A few inches separated their mouths. Olivia’s lips parted in anticipation, not caring that there were other people around. She wanted this woman, more than anything in the world. Her body craved the feel of Gracie’s soft hands and her thoughts ran wild thinking of what it would feel like to touch hers.

  Their chests brushed and the Lysol packet in Olivia’s bra crinkled loudly. Gracie drew back immediately, a hand lightly touching her right breast in bewilderment.

  “What the hell is in your bra?”

  Olivia flushed brightly as she pulled the packet of wipes out, tossing them onto the matted floor. “Bruce cornered me on the way in. Apparently I’ve had swine flu and he told me to wipe down all the equipment I used.”

  She leveled a pointed glance at Gracie who had the decency to look away in embarrassment. Sitting back on her knees with her feet tucked against the small of her back, the first sign of regret surfaced in expression. Since they had met up at the coffee shop Gracie hadn’t once shown any sign of regret or talked about what happened after they kissed. The apologies had been enough for Olivia.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t know what else to say.”

  “It’s fine. Just do me a favor and keep Bruce off my case about it. He’s paranoid about germs spreading.”

  “That’s because he’s germaphobic. Someone sneezes and he’s spraying a whole can of Lysol in the air.”

  They both shared an amused grin on the behalf of Gracie’s boss. Gracie held out a hand wordlessly for Olivia to take and pulled her to her feet. To Olivia’s surprise she didn’t let go of her hand right away and gave it a tender squeeze.

  “I’ve missed you, Olive. I’m glad you’re back.” She whispered, thumb sweeping across the back of her knuckles in a soothing gesture.

  Olivia smiled widely in response. Not caring if Gracie would be uncomfortable with the display of affection, she leant forward and pressed a soft kiss on the apple of her cheek.

  “I’ve missed you too, Gracie.”

  CHAPTER 5

  Olivia grimaced at the soreness in her legs as she shifted on the rickety bar stool and crossed them to relieve some ache. Last evening had not only left Olivia sore, but also thrumming with temptation. She had wanted nothing more than to invite Gracie over and release the tension that built within her body over the summer.

  Jumping into bed never fixed anything. Her ex-boyfriend Jack was living proof of that.

  She stared unseeingly at the computer screen to give off the illusion that she was busy. Megan, the cashier of the Mike’s Outdoor’s
Equipment, moved about the store with a duster in hand. She was a sweet girl, a recent graduate from high school saving up money for the local community college, but could never hold still and often times chatted up a storm to fight off boredom. Most days Olivia didn’t mind listening to her talk about her worries over college, but today she wanted peace and quiet.

  The automatic doors slid open and a hot blast of air washed over Olivia from her desk near the front window. Well, it wasn’t really a desk like Mike had. It was more of a counter with a bar stool and computer propped up on it with shelves of random equipment parts beneath it. She glanced up to see who stepped into the store and her heart plummeted to the ground in mixture of disappointment and dread.

  Jack’s cool eyes glanced around the store, searching for something. Before Olivia could duck behind the counter he spotted her and started towards the counter in confident strides. His blonde hair was tousled, but slicked back in its usual style and he hooked a pair of sunglasses to the front of his navy blue tee-shirt. In the past the sight of his biceps straining against the fabric of his shirt or the musky smell uniquely his would have brought her to her knees.

  Now it did nothing.

  “Olivia!” He started, placing his hands on the counter top. “What a surprise to see you working here!”

  Olivia gritted her teeth and felt her fingers curl around the smoothed edges of the bar stool. There was nothing coincidental about Jack’s appearances. He wanted something or was up to something.

  “Yeah, real surprising. How did you know I work here?”

  Jack smiled secretively. “A little birdie told me where you worked.”

  John’s face flashed through Olivia’s mind. He would be the only one who would tell Jack where her new employment was. Darcie hated Jack after they found out that he was cheating on her and no one at the gym would’ve mentioned it because they had no idea where she worked.

  “That’s considered stalking, going to my former employer and asking where my new employment is.” She told him, rolling her eyes in irritation. “What do you want? I’m busy here.”

  Jack casted a glance around the empty store and over at Megan dusting a shelf off. He turned to look back at Olivia with a raised eyebrow.

  “Yeah, real busy.” He said, sarcastically. “Can we talk outside?”

  “No. The answer is still no. How many times do I have to say it to get my point across? The answer is no and will always be a no.”

  “It’s been a couple of months, Olivia. I miss you. I-” He reached out and laid a hand over her hand resting on the keyboard. “I’ve been thinking about you a lot. I’m really sorry for what happened. It was stupid and immature of me to cheat on you verses fixing our problems.”

  His hand felt abnormally large and calloused compared to Gracie’s soft hands. Olivia slid her hand out from beneath Jack’s, her skin crawling in silent revulsion and tucked her hands away from him.

  “Yeah, it was stupid of you to do that. But we can’t go back and redo it. There’s no changing the past.”

  “But there’s still the future...” Jack trailed off in a hopeful voice.

  Olivia stared across the counter at the man she had once loved so dearly and knew like the back of her hand. It was funny how someone could become a complete stranger in a matter of weeks and also become someone’s whole entire world.

  “No, Jack. I-”

  “What is the problem?” Jack snapped, aggravation quickly filling his cool blue eyes. “You have a new boyfriend or something?”

  “Yes. I do.”

  The half lie tumbled out of her mouth before she could even think about what she was saying. Olivia cleared her throat and took a small amount of pleasure of the jealousy now shimmering in Jack’s eyes.

  “You have a new boyfriend?”

  “That’s right. I do and he wouldn’t appreciate you coming around here either.” Olivia said.

  That part was true at least. Gracie wouldn’t be happy knowing that Jack showed up to her store today with the intention of asking her to get back together.

  “I see. Well,” Jack cleared his throat and took a step back from the counter, “I better get going then. Lots to do.”

  Olivia turned on her bar stool to watch Jack stomp his way across the parking lot. She giggled underneath her breath before turning around to look at her computer. Megan stood on the other side of the counter, staring at her curiously.

  “You have a boyfriend?” She asked.

  Bristling at her skeptical tone, Olivia arched an eyebrow cooly at the younger girl. “You sound so surprised that I have a gi-I mean boyfriend.”

  Megan’s eyes widened. “Oh, no. I didn’t mean it that way. Just the whole time you worked here not once did you mention a boyfriend or imply that you had one.”

  “Not everything has to be out on display for the world.”

  When Megan turned back around to return to her dusting, Olivia felt a stab of nervousness. She had hoped keeping her personal life separate from work would keep questions at a bay. The last thing Olivia needed to deal with was coming out to her work place before coming out to her own family.

  CHAPTER 6

  Gracie’s apartment smelled of freshly sliced peaches and turmeric. Wrinkling her nose at the odd combination of smells, Olivia sat down warily on the bar stool in front of the breakfast bar. She watched Gracie move about the small and neatly organized kitchen with her bare feet padding softly against the wooden floors.

  “What are you making?” Olivia asked, trying to peer around her. “It looks like you are baking a peach pie.”

  “That’s because I am baking a peach pie.”

  “Oh, what for?”

  Scooping out the sliced peaches drenched in sugar and looked deliciously moist into a pie crust, Gracie twisted her head around to glance at her. “Do you like peaches?”

  “Does it have sugar on it?”

  “That’s how you make peach pie.”

  “Then I like it.”

  Gracie picked a peach slice from the bowl and placed it on a small tea plate, scooting it across the breakfast bar towards her.

  “Wow. Not only are you a chef, but you’re also a baker.” Olivia said. They exchanged amused smiles before she plucked the peach slice up, mouth watering at the sugary syrup dripping off of it. “Why are you baking, by the way?”

  A dribble of peach syrup trailed down the side of her mouth. She went to wipe it away, but a circle of fingers on her wrist stopped her. Olivia opened her mouth to protest, but gasped when Gracie leant over the counter and placed butterfly like kisses down the side of her mouth. The simple, but erotic touch sent her blood rushing down south and a tingling sensation filled her. Before she could turn her head to kiss Gracie properly, she moved away with a mischievous smile.

  “That was mean.” Olivia said, glaring at her accusingly. “I’ll get you back somehow for that.”

  “Looking forward to it darling.” Gracie replied, turning to pick up the pie. Her fingers delicately draped another pie crust over the top of it and then punctured the top four times with a knife. These were the times that Olivia liked the most; simple moments that weren’t anything extraordinary, just every day things. There was something beautiful about watching Gracie cook and how her brow would furrow in concentration. “And to answer your question earlier I’m baking a pie for my family’s barbecue this weekend.”

  “Oh.” All Olivia knew about Gracie’s family was that they lived an hour away in the neighboring town and that they were just as fastidious about their health. It made sense why Gracie chose her profession after growing up in a health conscious family. Olivia tried to picture Gracie at one of her family’s barbecue and the image that came up was very unpleasant. Disappointment filled her. “So that’s what you are doing this weekend?”

  Gracie turned back around at the disappointment lacing her tone, slipping oven mitts over her hands.

  “You sound a little disappointed.”

  “I am disappointed.” Olivia admitted,
a shy smile curling her lips up. “I was hoping we could hang out this weekend.”

  Maneuvering the oven racks, Gracie placed the pie carefully in the center and then closed the oven door. The kitchen timer beeped as she set it for exactly an hour and then slipped her oven mitts off, tossing them carelessly onto the counter.

  “Remember what I said. Things need to move slow so.” Gracie said. “And if you want to ask if you can go, just ask me.”

  “Okay...Can I come with you?”

  “You can go on one condition.” Gracie said, holding up one finger at the eager expression filling Olivia’s face. “You aren’t coming along as my girlfriend. Only as my friend.”

  She should have expected this, but it wouldn’t have made it sting less. They had only reconciled a little bit ago and were taking things slow as possible so neither one felt overwhelmed or rushed. Neither one of them had told their families yet of their feelings towards one another.

  Being labeled as a “friend” didn’t sit well in her stomach. She sucked in her lips until they made a straight line and looked out the window to watch cars drive by.

  “That didn’t make you happy, did it?”

  “Would it make you happy if I said you were just a friend?”

  Gracie sighed. “I wasn’t implying you were just a friend. To my family right now you are. You can’t expect me to just show up to my family’s barbecue with my girlfriend when they all know that I just broke up with Max.”

  “They’ll have to find out sometime.” Olivia said, stubbornly. Tears stung the back of her eyes. “That was part of the whole agreement was to be apart of each other’s lives. Remember?”

  “I know that, Olivia. I was there for that conversation too, but this is my family and I will come out to my family when I feel the time is right.”

  “When is the time ever right?”

  “I don’t know, Olive.” Gracie said. She reached across the breakfast bar and gently coaxed Olivia’s hand into her own. “How about this? You spend the weekend with your family and see how it goes. We’ll figure things out from there.”