Returning Home

by Toni Shiloh

  His mom leaned down and kissed his cheek and whispered in his ear. He laughed and watched her go.

  “What did she say?”

  He turned to Jo, her eyes dark brown with curiosity.

  “She told me to behave or she’d make sure the nurses checked in on me.”

  Jo laughed, but her cheeks became redder.

  “You’re cute when you blush.”

  “Cute, Evan Carter? A woman never wants to be thought of as cute. Puppies are cute. Babies are cute.”

  “I get it, I get it.” He tried to laugh, but he barely had the energy to let it out.

  “Why don’t I come back tomorrow so you can rest?”

  “No, I want you to stay.” He grabbed her hand and held it to his chest.

  “But you’re obviously tired.”

  He closed his eyes in contentment as she rubbed a hand across his forehead. “Then stay until I fall asleep.” He didn’t know how long she would be with him, and he wouldn’t let her go until he had no choice.

  “All right. Hey, I have my iPod. Why don’t we listen to some music?”

  He nodded and soon the soft sounds of jazz filled the air. He held her hand until sweet sleep captured him.

  FIRELIGHT DANCED ACROSS Jo’s face. Although, the fire warmed the entire living room, she couldn’t seem to warm up. All she could think about was Evan lying in the hospital. They wouldn’t let her stay once visiting hours had ended. She couldn’t blame them. She wasn’t family. She wasn’t his wife.

  The thought of being Evan’s wife made her heart skip a beat. Could she even think about that? Besides the one date, what more did she have to measure the status of their relationship? One date did not constitute a roadmap to marriage. Right?

  Then again, didn’t the idea of marriage grow from an ember? Some spark that said there could be more than one could imagine? If she could imagine laughing with him, talking with him, being cherished and loved by him...wasn’t that the spark one needed to start them on their journey toward happily ever after?

  What was marriage anyway? Sure, some would say it was two people committing to one another for a lifetime, but was that it? Her own parents’ marriage remained a mystery to her. She had no idea what her father had seen in her mother. And on some level she had no idea why a blue-blooded woman would be attracted to a blue-collar man.

  With the need for answers pressing upon her, she picked up the phone to call her mother.

  “Hello?”

  “Did I wake you, Mother?”

  “What do you think, Jo Ellen?”

  For once the sting of her mother’s words didn’t penetrate. “I’m sorry to wake you. I don’t know if you heard, but Evan’s in the hospital. He might be allergic to his prosthetic.”

  “I did hear. They passed his name along in the prayer chain.”

  “Oh.” Her mother was in a prayer chain? How little she knew about the woman who raised her. “Mother, I was wondering what attracted you to Dad? I mean, how did you know you wanted to marry him?”

  “Really, Jo Ellen. Can’t these questions wait until a decent hour?”

  “I...I just need to know.”

  Her mother sighed into the phone. “Your father was the life of a party. He had this charisma that brought out the best in everyone he met.” Her tone lightened. “No one ever had a bad thing to say about him.”

  Was her mother smiling while strolling down memory lane? Jo thought about her father. He had been friendly to everyone he came into contact with. If there was a person nearby, he would interact with them as if he had known them forever. “Is that what made you fall in love?”

  The answer seemed to hang in the air for a silent moment. Jo looked at the phone, wondering if her cell had dropped the call. She opened her mouth to speak, but stopped as her mother’s voice came through.

  “I fell in love with him because he saw the worst in me and still thought me magnificent. When you find that person willing to overlook the worst in you, hold on to him.”

  She closed her eyes, trying to hold in the tears. It almost sounded like her mother truly loved her dad. She wanted to cement this moment in her memory. It would go right next to holding her hand and talking about her dad. Thank you God for this moment.

  “Thank you for sharing, Mother.”

  “You’re welcome, Jo Ellen. Now, can I go back to sleep?”

  She smiled as her mother slipped right back into her no-nonsense tone of voice. She could only thank God that her harsh tone no longer seemed to grate against her skin. “Sure thing, good night.”

  For the first time in history, her mother had given her some motherly advice not laced with condemnation. She didn’t know what brought about the recent change in her, but Jo would always hold this memory in her heart.

  THE SOUNDS OF A HOSPITAL at night were eerily rhythmic. The beeping of the machines in his room. The frequent whirring noise as the blood pressure cuff squeezed his arms. The squeaky sound of rubber soled shoes walking down the halls. None of it helped Evan sleep so instead he stared at the ceiling, the sense of déjà vu overwhelming.

  He couldn’t count the number of times he had been laid up in a hospital bed, looking at the ceiling to search out life’s answers. When he got the prosthetic, he thought it would be an answer to his prayers and an end to the soul searching. Wasn’t it supposed to give him the independence he so desperately sought? Now an allergy to the components in his prosthetic put him on his back once again, and here he thought life altering moments were supposed to bring him to his knees.

  Evan snorted. Apparently, his humor was intact. He counted the black dots in the ceiling tiles, hoping that doing so would lull him to sleep. Instead, the words of Psalm 121 scrolled in through his mind’s eye. “I will lift up my eyes to the hills—From whence comes my help?”

  Had that been the purpose of lying flat on his back? Would he have been aware of the sovereignty of the Lord if the accident had never happened? He’d like to think so, but he knew the path he had been heading for.

  The first time he ended up in the hospital, frustration and anger were like a black curtain masking the light of God. He now knew why it was so important to renew his mind. The flesh constantly struggled to get in line with the Spirit. This time, while lying on his back, he saw the majesty of God. Whatever happened would be God’s will and the Creator truly would work it all for his good.

  But what about, Jo?

  If she left him, would he still believe something good could come of it? Evan sighed, hating the downward turn of his thoughts. He could see the break up with Brenda as proof that something better would and could come along, but he didn’t think he could feel that way if it happened with Jo.

  He didn’t know if she was strong enough to stay with him if the wheelchair was his future. Sure, she put on a brave front when she came to visit him, but what choice did she have? Their relationship was just beginning to develop. She had no incentive to stay with him. One date. One kiss. That wasn’t enough to engage the heart.

  Or was it?

  Would she be able to treat him with the same respect and care she had when he had walked? He really shouldn’t compare his time in the wheelchair with now, since they had both been angry with each other. Truthfully, he had no clue as to how she felt about the chair.

  Lord, please, don’t let my relationship with Jo be over.

  He heaved a sigh. He would have to release his relationship to the Lord’s hands. For if he held on too tightly, he would squeeze the life right out of it.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  As the morning dawned, Jo pulled into the visitors’ parking lot at the hospital. She’d made sure to awaken early so she could bring Evan some blueberry muffins from LeeAnn’s Bakery. She couldn’t imagine the hospital food would be anything very appetizing. Before she got out of the car, Jo smoothed away some hairs threatening to stick out in an unseemly way.

  She had borrowed a long, denim skirt from Michelle’s closet to go with her cerulean cable-knit sweater. Th
e outfit kept her warm and hopefully would catch Evan’s interest. Of course, he wouldn’t be able to see anything if she didn’t take off her parka.

  The sound of her boots echoed in the silence as she walked down the hospital corridor. Although morning had arrived, the halls seemed devoid of life. She shivered as a chill ran down her spine. “I hate hospitals,” she grumbled. They reminded her of the day her dad had died.

  Her mind flitted back to the memory.

  “Why do they leave the walls so stark? Shouldn’t a waiting room be comforting?” Jo asked.

  “It’s not a house,” Vanessa rolled her eyes. “It doesn’t have to be inviting, just get the job done.”

  “Will you two please act like the civilized women I know you to be?”

  “Sorry, Mother,” Vanessa said, smiling angelically.

  Her mother turned to face forward and Vanessa sent a snide look Jo’s way.

  “Excuse me,” the doctor cleared his throat, getting their attention. Before he even opened his mouth, Jo knew the news would be bad.

  “I’m sorry, Mr. Baker didn’t make it.”

  She shook the memory away, trying to ward off the gloom threatening to take root in her heart. If what the Bible said was true, her dad was in a better place. There was no need to worry. But what about Evan?

  Lord, please heal him.

  If she could combat the darkness with the light of the Lord, she would pray all day long. She walked into Evan’s room, a smile ready on her face. But the sight that greeted her, struck fear in her heart. The bed had been freshly made and, judging from the smell, freshly cleaned. And remained empty.

  “Evan?” she called out, looking around. Her heart thudded as her palms grew clammy.

  “In the bathroom.”

  Sweet relief flooded her heart. She leaned against the wall, closing her eyes in gratitude. He was just in the bathroom. The door opened and he came out, using crutches to hold him up.

  “Hey there, JoJo.” His eyes lit up, crinkling at the corners.

  Today, he didn’t look as pale as before but his mouth grimaced with pain as he navigated to the bed.

  She stepped forward. “Morning, brought you a blueberry muffin.” She held up the brown paper bag from the bakery.

  “My favorite.” He grinned at her and her heart fluttered.

  Jo looked down. She didn’t want him to know she had asked his mom what his favorite was. The question that had been burning in her mind since yesterday soon took the forefront of her thoughts, begging to be released. She placed the bag on the hospital tray, watching as Evan settled into the bed. “How are you feeling today?”

  “Much better. Whatever medicine they’re giving me is working wonders.”

  “Is your leg still red?”

  “Yeah, I suspect it will take a while before it looks normal. Do you want to see?” he asked, staring at her expectantly.

  Jo gave a slow nod. She needed to know if she could handle seeing his limb. It didn’t make sense to continue their relationship—whatever it was—if she couldn’t handle it. He pulled up his hospital gown and a gasp escaped from her lips.

  “Oh, Evan, that looks painful. Are you sure the meds are helping you?”

  Despite the coloring of his dark brown skin, there was no mistaking the awful red streaks running up his thigh. Instinctively she moved closer, laying a hand against his skin, trying to soothe him. She looked up at him and caught her breath. The look he gave her was enough to heat the entire hospital floor. Desire darkened his eyes to molten pools of chocolate.

  She stepped back and calm reentered his eyes. Had she imagined the longing?

  Evan looked down at his leg. “It looked much worse yesterday.”

  “What? And you thought it was from your prosthetic?”

  He gave a sheepish shrug. “What can I say? It’s not like I’ve ever worn one before.”

  “True.”

  She had no words to convey the emotions coursing through her. Could she voice them? Did she have any right? And, worst of all, would he balk and become defensive?

  EVAN STARED AT JO, taking her in. She looked beautiful in her sweater and skirt. He’d gone his whole life without seeing her in a dress and now, in a matter of weeks, he’d seen her dress up twice. Did she do it for him? He’d like to think so, but didn’t want to get his hopes up.

  But the more important thought: she touched his limb. He couldn’t believe it. The hope and attraction had collided in an inferno of longing. He’d wanted to swoop her up and kiss her senseless, but she had stepped back.

  Had she read his mind?

  He reached for the muffin, breaking the silence and his musings with the crinkle of the paper bag. He looked up from the bag and gazed into her soft brown eyes. “I’m glad you’re here.”

  “Me, too.”

  Her cheeks bloomed and her eyes darted away as if she was suddenly shy. He didn’t want her to turn skittish. Not when he felt their relationship could make a turn. For better or worse, only time would tell. He patted the space on his right. “Come sit with me.”

  The bed shifted as she settled next to him. He tilted his head and leaned it against hers. “How did you know I liked blueberry muffins?” He took a bite, contentment coursing through his being.

  “I asked your mom.”

  “Thanks for thinking of me.” For some reason, they were whispering. There seemed to be a silent agreement to savor the moment. He held out his hand, hoping she would grab hold.

  He sighed when she clasped her fingers with his. They sat in silence, save for the soft sounds of chewing. When he put the wrapper back in the bag, Jo broke the silence.

  “I have a question, but if it’s none of my business then please tell me.” A pause. “Did they do the prosthetic allergy test already?”

  He traced his fingers along hers, noting the subtle differences in their complexions. He wanted to ask her if she loved him. Wanted to know if she’d stick by him, for better or worse? But he knew, deep down inside, that their relationship was too new.

  So instead, he cleared his throat to answer her. It was time to see if she would flee like Brenda had done. “It’s definitely an allergy.”

  “I know, but did they pinpoint what kind? Will you be able to wear another prosthetic?”

  He winced as the questions hit him like darts. He knew that wasn’t her intent, but the anxiety of having to provide answers gnawed at him like a dog chewing a bone.

  “They had to send the results for the patch test kit to the company who made my prosthetic. Once it arrives, they can do the testing to see if I’m allergic to any of the materials.” He drew in a breath before continuing. “And as far as another prosthetic, I first have to let my skin heal. Depending on what allergy I suffer from depends on what type of prosthetic I will need in the future. Most likely one made from different materials than the one I was wearing. If the same thing happens, it will be best for me not to use a prosthetic.” He felt her head shift in a nod.

  “Are you okay with that?”

  “I’ll have no choice but to be okay with it.”

  “Right,” she whispered. “Let’s pray for your leg to heal. Okay?”

  Her voice came out softly, like a gentle breeze. He’d liked to imagine there was love in her voice. If only. “Sure.” The corners of his mouth lifted into a strained smile. The smile dropped and turned to disbelief as Jo bowed her head and laid a hand on his leg.

  “Hello God, it’s me Jo. This time I’m here with Evan. I wanted to ask that you bring healing to his body. God, you know all that He’s been going through. His life is a better testament than my words could ever be. Yet, I wanted to try and speak to you. He needs Your healing touch upon him. Please restore his skin and take the pain away. Please remove any potential complications. And please help him get through this time with the grace You supply us with. I guess that’s all, Amen.”

  The last word was uttered in a whisper, but he didn’t mind. He ran his hands across her face and held on, hoping to convey
his gratitude with the emotions gathered on his face. Only he could barely see her face out through the tears he was trying to hold back. So instead, he leaned forward and kissed her lips softly. His hands slipped from her face to cradle her head.

  “That was the most beautiful thing anyone has ever done for me, JoJo,” he said as he rubbed his lips across hers. “Thank you.”

  Her arms slid around his back and he hugged her to his chest, thankful for finding calm in the midst of a storm.

  Chapter Thirty

  Jo stood back, surveying her handiwork. The laundry room had turned out nicely. The frontloading washer and dryers made it look complete. The shelving space she added almost made her want to do laundry. Almost. The dining room had also received a new coat of paint and wainscoting to complete the look. Now, all she had to do was finish the master suite and Evan would be set to move in.

  A picture of his face filled her mind as her memory traced over his features. The crinkles at the corner of his eyes when he smiled. The white flash of teeth. The prominent cheekbones. The care that filled his eyes when he watched her. For his sake, she hoped he wouldn’t be allergic to another prosthetic. She liked the new Evan. The one intent on letting God handle his life.

  The angry, bitter Evan had nothing soft in his expression. Bitterness turned his mouth downward. His dark brown eyes had seemed lifeless with resentment and rage. She didn’t want him to go back to that dark place.

  The doctors had discharged him from the hospital a couple of days ago. His limb no longer had angry welts running the length of it, but it was still red and a little swollen. She made sure to visit him every night. It allowed her to get closer in a more comfortable setting. She didn’t have to worry about impressing him like she would on a date.

  Time had shown her how easy he was to talk to. They talked about everything from favorite foods to their beliefs about God. Most importantly, they ended each night with a prayer. She had never dated a guy who prayed, let alone prayed with her. It seemed to connect them on a deeper level. Evan wasn’t just concerned about her everyday well-being, but her spirit as well.