miss fortune mystery (ff) - bayou two

by Hiker, Mary

  Within a split second, two of the men guarding the main entrance were rolling on the ground, moaning in pain. The other two had their hands held up in surrender.

  Ida Belle chuckled. “She’s still got it.”

  Granny put her arm around Jayne’s shoulder and calmly looked at the shocked men. “Have you not the decency to open a door for three beautiful ladies?”

  “Ah… yes, ma’am,” the younger one said and stumbled over himself to let them inside.

  Jayne turned to the astonished crowd, raising a victorious fist in the air with one hand while gripping her pickle jar with the other. “That’s my granny!”

  Gertie smiled from ear to ear as she ushered Jayne inside the building and shouted at the crowd, “The wedding is on!”

  One of the wounded men staggered to his feet and stumbled over to Fortune’s Jeep, going toe-to-toe with Ida Belle. “I’ve probably got internal injuries and I’m going to sue both you, and your friends.”

  Ida Belle rolled her eyes. “Quit crying, she would’ve killed you if she wanted to.”

  “Count your blessings and stop bullying women.” I crossed my arms, giving him a withering look.

  The man stared at my black eye and took a step backward.

  “You know, I’m surprised you rough-necks aren’t already in jail,” he growled. “You won’t be so smart answering to a judge in a court of law.”

  “That’s going to be hilarious in court.” Fortune laughed. “Make sure to invite me when you go.” She continued in baby-talk, “But judge… the itty bitty grey-haired lady beat me up.” She looked at me. “I’ll video the whole thing. Should I post it to Twitter or Instagram first?”

  The man opened his mouth to say something, but we were distracted from the conversation when a window on the second floor of the building slid open above the crowd.

  Jayne’s unruly brown hair blew in the soft breeze as she hung out the window and shouted, “Hey, Celia! I’m getting married.”

  She grinned, waved Granny’s official documents in the air, and took a big bite out of a giant pickle.

  Granny pulled Jayne back inside, and Celia threw a half-eaten apple their way. A hand that looked an awful lot like Gertie’s reached out of the window and shot an impressive bird at the crowd.

  The protestors shouted back some derogatory words as the window slammed shut.

  “This might actually be fun.” Fortune laughed. “I’ve never been to a wedding in the middle of a war before.”

  Ida Belle’s eyes brightened as she watched the crowd go in a tizzy. “Even though I don’t agree with marriage, I’ll totally support this one just to rankle Celia.”

  A sheriff’s deputy car inched up beside Fortune’s Jeep.

  Ida Belle took a look at the officer. “Where’s Carter when you need him?” she chuckled. “Deputy Breaux is scared of his own shadow. Even his car makes its approach to a scene on tippy toes.”

  The young deputy rolled down the window, his chest beating through his uniform as he eyed the crowd. I guess I really couldn’t blame the guy. I’m sure a riled-up Celia would be a lot for anyone to handle.

  Ida Belle shook her head and spoke to the officer. “You better call Carter to handle this situation or these ladies will eat you alive.”

  “Can’t.” Deputy Breaux rubbed the back of his neck with a sweaty hand. “He’s just been dispatched to a much bigger problem than this.”

  Ida Belle raised an eyebrow. “Wha-?”

  He held up a hand. “Don’t even bother to ask me about it.” The deputy drew in a breath and got out of the car to face the granny-injured man and the rest of Celia’s mob. “It’s a law enforcement matter and on a need-to-know basis.”

  Ida Belle and Fortune gave each other a slight nod as the deputy was devoured by the crowd.

  “Need-to-know basis, my butt,” Ida Belle said as her phone sounded with a text alert. Her eyes widened as she read the message. “Sylvia is out at Jimmy’s Gator Farm hanging decorations for the wedding reception.”

  She brought the phone closer to her face and blinked a few times before looking back at us. “And she just stumbled upon a dead body.”

  Chapter 5

  “The good news is… it’s not Jimmy’s body.”

  Ida Belle tapped away on her smart phone as I leaned back in my chair and breathed a sigh of relief. My cousin’s fiancé was still alive and hopefully the wedding could go on as planned.

  Ida Belle’s friend, Sylvia, had spent the last several hours at the sheriff’s office answering questions, so it’d taken us a while to get more information. Playing the waiting game while watching daylight turn to dusk had stressed me out.

  “Hey, Madison, welcome to wedding central,” Gertie said as she walked through Fortune’s front door. After grabbing a cup of coffee, she took one look at my eye and dove into her gigantic purse.

  “Don’t fall in there, Gertie,” Ida Belle said, eyeing the purse. “We’ll need to rent a backhoe to pull you back out.”

  “Talk to the hand,” Gertie said as she held her palm toward Ida Belle.

  “Talk to my…” Ida Belle leaned her rump toward Gertie.

  “Found it.” Gertie pulled out a huge bottle of Vitamin C and unscrewed the lid. “Take a handful of these,” she said while pushing the bottle toward me. “It helps get rid of black eyes. I read it on the Internet.”

  Ida Belle rolled her eyes.

  I took one vitamin from the bottle to be polite.

  “No, take at least four.” Gertie reached over and dumped some more pills out on Fortune’s table. “I don’t think a black eye will match your bridesmaid outfit.”

  My stomach twisted when I heard the word “bridesmaid,” and I shifted in my seat.

  Fortune couldn’t stop a burst of laughter when she saw the look of terror on my face. I didn’t even want to think about what was in store for me during Jayne’s wedding.

  “We need to focus on solving this murder or there won’t be a wedding,” Ida Belle warned.

  Everyone nodded in agreement and gathered around the table as we drank coffee. Well, actually, I faked the drinking part because I hate coffee. Ida Belle, Gertie, and Fortune were deep in thought.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked, my back tensing again, the hair on my neck standing at attention.

  “There’s also some bad news,” Ida Belle read from her phone. “Sylvia dropped off some decorations at the Gator Farm yesterday, and since it was a Sunday, she didn’t stay to hang them. As she drove out, she saw Jimmy arguing with a man about a botched delivery.”

  “Oh no,” I said, dread settling down in my stomach.

  “Get on with it,” Gertie said, making a rolling motion with her hands.

  Ida Belle ignored her and kept reading. “At the time, she thought it strange that a delivery man would be wearing a black suit and tie.”

  “Especially around Sinful,” Fortune said. “It’s probably against the law to make a delivery on a Sunday, fancy dress or not.”

  “Today, Sylvia went back out to hang the decorations and discovered the man shot dead. He was still wearing the same suit.”

  Gertie shook her head, her forehead a mass of wrinkles. “A botched delivery isn’t usually a reason to shoot someone.” She pulled out her laptop computer and set it on the table. “Even if it was on a Sunday.”

  “You’ve shot someone for a lot less,” Ida Belle said.

  “That was an accident.” Gertie frowned and fired up the Internet.

  “We can assume Carter is still out looking for his number one suspect - Jimmy.” Fortune took a sip of coffee. “And by now, Jimmy’s business is covered in crime scene tape.”

  “We can’t tell Jayne.” I wondered how well my carefree cousin really knew Jimmy. After all, it had only been about three months since they’d first met. “She doesn’t handle pressure well.”

  “Your granny took Jayne to the city to buy lingerie for the honeymoon,” Fortune said. “I’ll call and let her know to keep Jayne occupied and
away from any news sources.”

  “They’re planning to be back tomorrow night in time for the bachelorette party,” Gertie said.

  “Bachelorette party?”

  “Yes, of course,” Gertie said with a smile. “And you’re going to be there. Granny’s orders.”

  Ida Belle clapped her hands in our faces. “Focus ladies. We’ve got one day to solve this or there won’t be any bachelorette party.”

  Gertie’s face grew serious. “If word gets out, Celia will have a field day with this.” She searched the Internet for a birds-eye photo of Jimmy’s Gator Farm. “The GWs will raise a stink and get Jimmy arrested before the wedding.”

  “Has anyone seen Jimmy since yesterday?” I asked.

  “Marian stopped by his house this morning to deliver a special order of Sinful Ladies cough medicine for the wedding festivities.” Ida Belle gripped her coffee cup. “She heard someone shifting around inside, but no one came to the door.”

  Gertie looked up from her computer and gave Ida Belle a slight nod. “Let’s head over there and take a look around.”

  “I’m sure the deputies have already been out there,” Fortune said as she refilled the coffee cups.

  “Probably.” Ida Belle tapped her fingers on the table. “But Carter doesn’t know about the secret room in Jimmy’s house.”

  Gertie sat up straight in her chair. “Oh boy, I’ve got some good memories from that secret room.” She grinned. “I used to meet up with my friends over there when we were young.”

  “Keep the youthful indiscretions to yourself.” Ida Belle winced. “Too much information.”

  Gertie looked back at the computer screen and mumbled, “Jealous.”

  “Jimmy’s granddaddy built a secret room when he did the original construction on that house.” Ida Belle said, watching Gertie out of the corner of her eye. “You could call it the original man cave.”

  Gertie looked up. “Actually, they used to call it the -”

  “Zip it!” Ida Belle put a finger to her mouth.

  Fortune and I couldn’t help but laugh as we got up and put our dishes in the sink. Looked like we were taking an evening road trip to Jimmy’s house.

  Chapter 6

  “We’re not riding in the Jeep.”

  I stopped, turned on my heel and saw the ladies and my dog headed for the backyard. Shiner always knew when there was a mission and wanted to be right in the mix. He might’ve retired from search and rescue work, but he still loved the action. It was like he could smell it as easily as he once smelled a dead body.

  Fortune waited for me to catch up. “Jimmy’s house is on the far side of his Gator Farm property, and we don’t want anyone investigating the crime scene to see us driving past.”

  My labrador raced ahead, and I sucked in a breath, worried he might tangle with a gator or snake. It took just a second to realize what he was really after as he jumped in an airboat docked at the back of Fortune’s property. Ida Belle quickly maneuvered her way past Gertie and claimed control of the captain’s chair in front of the oversized fan.

  “I want to drive.” Gertie tried to nudge Ida Belle out of position.

  Ida Belle held firm and rolled her eyes. “Gertie, we have an animal on board.”

  “So?” Gertie frowned and gave Shiner a pat on the head.

  “We’ll get hate mail from every animal rights group in Louisiana when you crash an airboat on top of a dog.” Ida Belle started up the engine that roared to life and sounded like a jet airplane. She shouted over the noise. “Now, get in a seat because I’m about to hit the gas.”

  Gertie’s lower lip stuck out in a pout, and she plopped in a seat at the front of the boat as Shiner pranced back and forth waiting for me to board.

  “Ida Belle loves speed,” Fortune whisper-shouted to me as I climbed into the boat. “You might want to hold on real tight.”

  “Come here, Shiner,” I called as the boat slowly backed out into the water. I got my dog in front of me as I gripped his collar with one hand and braced his chest with the other. It’s a good thing I did, because when Ida Belle gunned it, the sudden momentum pushed me back into the seat.

  I held on tight wondering where this adventure was going to take us.

  #

  Darkness settled in as we approached Jimmy’s small cabin from the swamp side after Ida Belle expertly parked the boat on a bank. A soft light glowed through one of the windows and I saw a shadow quickly pass by it.

  “Someone’s in there!”

  Fortune put a finger to her lips and nodded to Ida Belle. The two snuck around to the front while Gertie and I kept an eye on the back with Shiner. It was less than a minute before Fortune’s face appeared in the window waving us inside.

  “Isn’t this breaking and entering?” I asked Gertie as we scrambled up the steps to the front door.

  “I prefer to call it pre-wedding recon,” Gertie said and pushed open the wood door. “Like they say… all’s fair in love and war.”

  “It looks like this wedding has become a bit of both,” I muttered as I stepped inside and looked around the living room. “It looks like a bomb went off in here.”

  Books were pulled from the shelves and strewn across the floor, furniture was turned over, and the brown couch cushions were sliced open leaving the white stuffing peeking out.

  “Wow, I didn’t know Jimmy was the reading type,” Gertie said as she bent over and picked up a book about increasing business profits. “Looks like you’re getting a secret intellectual in the family.”

  “Or a secret assassin,” I said as I stepped over piles of debris to take a look in the kitchen. A woman’s brown leather purse was dumped out on the kitchen table. Broken dishes, silverware, and cans of food covered the floor, and the refrigerator door hung open. It looked like someone swept their arms through the cabinets and cleared out everything inside.

  “All clear,” Fortune called from somewhere inside the house.

  I stopped my dog from entering the kitchen disaster zone and met up with Gertie and the other two ladies in front of a hallway closet. Ida Belle gave Gertie a slight nod, slowly pulled the closet door open, and pushed aside some rain jackets that hung in front of her face.

  I peered in but saw nothing but an empty closet. That was until Ida Belle glided her hands across the back wall of the closet until it met the corner.

  She turned and smiled. “Found it,” she said and pressed a small lever.

  Fortune kept her hand on her gun and watched with the rest of us as the back wall of the closet slid open. Ida Belle reached inside and turned on a light switch as Fortune entered the secret room, gun drawn.

  “What the…?” Fortune shouted.

  Ida Belle reached for her own weapon and raced in behind the other woman. I was surprised how fast she was for someone her age.

  “You’ve got to be kidding me.” Ida Belle’s voice echoed back through the closet.

  Shiner and I followed Gertie through the opening and ran into a wall of fluffy stuffed alligators. The toys filled the secret room from floor to ceiling, and my dog dove into the mountain of plushness like a kid in a pile of leaves.

  “Don’t slobber on Jimmy’s product line,” I instructed Shiner, but to no avail. I figured this was the storage area for his souvenir shop until tourist season – whenever that was. It was easy to imagine little kids begging their parents to buy the two-foot long stuffed animals.

  Gertie disappeared behind the piles of stuffed animals and declared, “OMG!”

  My back tensed, and I slowly crept my way around the stacks of stuffed animals, peering between Fortune and Ida Belle.

  A woman sat on the floor with duct tape stuck partially across her mouth, her hands lying on her lap. More of the tape was loosely wrapped around her wrists. She kicked her feet on the floor in front of her as she let loose with a bunch of mumbled tape obscured phrases that I could only assume were four-letter words.

  I instantly recognized the too-tight ponytail as well as the dark eye
shadow now leaking down her face. At her mouth, the runny mess had combined with her spit to make a nasty drool dripping from an opening in the duct tape.

  Annie Lou Claiborne looked like a rabid raccoon on steroids.

  Chapter 7

  Ida Belle reached down and ripped the duct tape off Annie Lou’s mouth, then wiped her hand on her pants.

  “Owww!” Annie Lou rubbed the pink skin around her lips.

  “You could’ve done that for yourself,” Fortune said as she eyed the dangling strands of tape hanging from Annie Lou’s wrists.

  “I was too scared to move,” Annie Lou said and wrangled her hands free of the tape. “He tied me up and forced me into this hidden hole with no food or water.”

  “Who? Jimmy?” I asked as my stomach turned.

  Annie Lou blinked her raccoon eyes and shuddered. “You said it. I didn’t.”

  The thought gave me even more pause about his plan to marry my cousin. What is this guy into?

  “I’m calling the law,” Annie Lou said and threw the ball of grey duct tape onto the floor. “I could’ve died!”

  As the frantic victim jumped to her feet, her heel kicked against a small spool that had been hidden under her legs, causing it to roll across the room. Shiner assumed it was an invitation for a game of fetch, and romped after it, snatching it up before prancing back to Annie Lou for another go-round.

  My yellow lab slid to a stop in front of Annie Lou and dropped the “toy” to the floor. Fortune reached down, picked up the cylinder, and laughed.

  “Really?” She held up the grey roll of duct tape in front of Annie Lou’s face. “Did you really just duct tape yourself to cover up the fact that you’re breaking and entering into your ex-boyfriend’s house?”

  “Wow,” Gertie said as she picked up the balled-up wad from the floor. “I’d ask you to wrap Christmas presents for me this year, but you did a terrible job with the tape.”

  Annie Lou glared at us as she wiped the sweat from her brow, smearing the dark eye make-up even further across her face. She stomped out of the secret room without another word, re-packed the items in her purse from the kitchen table, and continued right on out the door.