Between Hearts: A Romance Anthology

by Alexander, Erica

  All I’ve ever wanted is to mean something to him, and if all I can be is a matchmaker, then I’ll take it. So I rush on. “I promise I’m not interested in him that way.”

  His smile grows, and his eyes seem to change color in an instant. Is it strange that my heart both breaks and sings at the same time?

  “I wasn’t trying to step on your toes or anything. I don’t know Jake very well, but I’m sure he and I aren’t compatible, so you should totally go for it.”

  Across the table, Alex chokes and sputters on his drink. “Jesus, Rob’s not gay!”

  He and Jeremy howl so loud that several other customers stare at our table. I cut my gaze to the side and see Rob completely red-faced and staring at the table, mortified.

  “What the hell is wrong with you?” I fire back. “I thought he was your friend? You act like he’s an ax murder or something! He’s allowed to be gay, you assholes.”

  Alex is laughing so hard that tears form in his eyes. “Nope. No assholes for our boy. No dicks, either. He’s all about the pussy.”

  “A very particular pussy, in fact,” Jeremy chimes in between gasps.

  Bekah smacks Alex in the chest, but Alyssa just rolls her eyes at the crass language her boyfriend spewed out like it’s no big deal.

  The really disturbing part isn’t their words though. No, words only hold the power we give them. And these guys are talking like vaginas are the only thing women are worth. It’s beyond disgusting. Their statements pretty much equate homosexual men with being less than, on par with their view of women. It’s hard enough being a modern woman, trying to make your way in the world, while overcoming these beliefs. I can’t even fathom the amount of mental fortitude and strength it takes to come out as a gay man, exposing yourself to not only homophobia, but also an essential demotion of your person by being equated to nothing more than a hole for someone to stick it into. Maybe if our society was a little less focused on sex and hedonistic instant gratification, we could have more open discussions about celebrating our differences. It’s no wonder Rob looks like he’s going to puke beside me.

  Oh my God, why am I defending the guy who I’m heartbroken over not being straight? It’s none of my damn business. What is even going on in my head tonight? Gay or not, Rob Falls does something to my brain. Like completely shorts it out.

  “He’s not gay, Evie,” Mike mutters beside me. With far more tact than Alex or Jeremy had.

  “You’re really not?” I ask Rob as embarrassment heats my face.

  He refuses to look at me, just shakes his head and continues to bore a hole in the table with his eyes.

  I finally relax and allow our bodies to touch, nudging him a bit with my shoulder. “Hey, don’t listen to them. If you are, it’s totally fine. I would never think less of you. Love is love.”

  “I’m not gay,” he mumbles.

  Oh, shit. Maybe he needs to keep it quiet because of sports. I can imagine how awkward it might be in the locker room if the guys you spend half of your time naked with think you might be checking them out.

  “I’m so sorry,” I whisper, trying to salvage even a shred of his dignity. “I didn’t mean to embarrass you.”

  “It’s okay,” he whispers back. “Honest mistake.”

  “Please,” Alex laughs. “Please tell me why you think he’s gay.”

  Jeremy is still losing his shit at the other end of the table. “Oh, this is priceless.”

  “I, um…” I have no response.

  I’m so mortified for Rob. The way his friends are treating this whole situation is beyond disrespectful.

  Wait a minute…

  “You know what?” I lift my chin and stare down the idiots across the table. “You two are just jealous because you’re not half as smart, half as good-looking, or half as talented as Rob. Laugh it up, boneheads. He’s awesome and you’re both…mediocre, at best.”

  Instead of shutting them up, they start coughing words under their breath.

  Are they…are they saying, “Chickenshit”?

  What the hell is that supposed to mean?

  A french fry flies across the table and makes direct contact with Jeremy’s forehead.

  All eyes turn to the quarterback in the booth.

  “I hate you both.”

  And they just laugh harder.

  Even Mike joins in. “You brought this on yourself, man.”

  Beside me, Rob sighs and shakes his head. “Yeah, yeah. You’re all so damn funny.”

  What is even going on here tonight? My head spins as I try to make sense of this strange group dynamic. I’m admittedly the interloper, but they’re all acting so weird. Are they always like this?

  “All right. Change of subject,” Alyssa announces. “So Evie’s been getting these bouquets from a mystery man after every concert since last Christmas…”

  Oh God, no.

  “And we can’t figure out who’s leaving them. They’re always on her chair in the band room after the concert, sometimes with a card, sometimes not, but never signed by who they’re from. I think it’s the same guy who left a teddy bear on her locker for her birthday last year. You guys got any ideas? ’Cause Jess and I are coming up empty.”

  Every single guy at the table erupts in raucous laughter. Except Rob. He’s probably still pissed about the whole gay thing.

  I hide my face in my hands. I can’t look at any of them. They must think I’m so pathetic. My stupid-ass friends or someone in my family is playing a trick on me and the guys all see it for what it is. I have to be the least desirable girl in our class. At least the focus has been shifted away from Rob. I guess karma is biting me on the ass for having stuck my foot in my mouth earlier. Mortification level ten unlocked.

  “Stop,” Rob says firmly. “You’re embarrassing her.”

  More coughs of, “Chickenshit,” ensue. Is that supposed to be code for something?

  “I’m not kidding. That’s enough.”

  Everyone quiets because Rob’s voice took on a hard edge.

  Even I peek from behind my hands. He’s always so soft-spoken and quiet. I’ve never heard him sound so commanding before. And it worked. They all shut up immediately.

  How unfair is it that this rarely seen side of him completely turns me on?

  Thank God the waitress chooses this moment to finally appear to take our food orders.

  The rest of the meal goes by with relatively little incident. A few times, “Chickenshit,” is thrown around, but Rob just ignores it. He doesn’t say another word to me the entire meal. I guess that’s fair. I embarrassed the crap out of him, and being the gentleman he is, he still shut down the horrifying topic of the mystery roses prank being pulled on me.

  He’s so stupidly perfect.

  I’m stuffed and wondering who’s going to take me home when the waitress reappears.

  “How do you want me to split the checks?”

  Naturally, all the guys offer to pay for their girlfriends. I’m just about to speak up when Rob beats me to the punch.

  “I’ve got hers.”

  “Oh, that’s okay. You don’t have to do that.”

  “You didn’t even want to come tonight. It’s the least I can do.”

  My face heats and words escape me, so I just nod.

  “Do you want me to drive you home?” he asks.

  Blood rushes in my ears as my heart thuds in my chest and nausea overwhelms my stomach. It has nothing to do with all the greasy food I’ve just consumed.

  “Oh, no. That’s okay. I can just catch a ride with Mike.”

  He nods but says nothing else. His expression gives nothing away.

  Why would he even want to drive me home after the way I embarrassed him in front of all his friends? I guess he feels obliged since he first offered. He’s such a nice guy. Ugh, I hate myself and my stupid mouth and my stupid brain.

  “I’m really sorry about what I assumed before…about…you know.”

  He sighs and fiddles with his empty plate, piling his used silv
erware and napkin on top. It’s as if he’s trying to make as little work as possible for the server.

  He’s so cute…and thoughtful.

  “That’s okay,” he mumbles. “I guess I did that to myself.”

  I lower my voice and lean closer to him to make sure no one else at the table will overhear our conversation. “It really is okay if you are. I understand why you might not want anyone to know. I’ll be your friend either way. I won’t judge you.”

  When he lifts his gaze to me, we’re so close that his warm breath fans across my face. Even seated, he’s so much taller than I am that I have to crane my neck to maintain eye contact. He makes me feel supremely small, a realization that causes me to back away and swallow a ball of fear.

  He studies me for a beat before responding in an equally soft whisper. “Thank you. But I’m really not gay. I’m sorry if that disappoints you.”

  It’s all I can do not to laugh and attract attention.

  My heart soars, and my words come out all breathy. “Why would that disappoint me?”

  He shrugs, the movement rippling into my own body. “I dunno. You just…seemed so sure, I guess.”

  His expression is so sad, his eyes so blue. My mouth waters at his scent. I have to take a deep breath to repress the urge to kiss him right here in front of everyone.

  “Wanna know a secret?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I’m not sure of anything. I’m kind of just fumbling my way around life like anyone else.”

  That little dimple in his cheek makes a reappearance with his tentative smile. “Really?”

  “Yeah, really.”

  “What if I told you that I’m doing the same thing? Would you keep that secret for me?”

  I would do anything he asked of me. “Yeah.”

  “You wanna know another secret?” he asks.

  I’m pretty much drooling at this point, so…yeah.

  Mike bumps into me. “Hey, you ready to go?”

  With just those five little words from my brother, my mind rights itself and the spell of Rob’s eyes and his words breaks. I might have done something so foolish if not for the interruption.

  “Yeah. I’m ready whenever you are.”

  We collect our things and scoot out of the booth. Everyone else does the same until we’re all standing in the parking lot, exchanging goodbyes.

  I cast one last look back at the diner. Maybe I should try to be more social and experience new things. Tonight was really fun, if not odd at times. Definitely different than sitting in my room, petting my cat, and reading a good book.

  “Goodnight, Evie,” Rob offers as I turn to go with Mike and Chelsie.

  My name sounds just as beautiful rolling off his tongue now as it did the first time I heard it. It’s like he breathes new meaning into it. He hasn’t said my name once since that day we first met.

  I’m probably reading too much into it. “Goodnight, Rob.”

  I only glance over my shoulder once as we make our way to Mike’s car.

  He doesn’t stay to watch us leave. Instead, he makes swift strides towards his car like he would rather be anywhere but in this parking lot right now. After the horrible way I embarrassed him tonight, I don’t blame him at all.

  This is exactly why I turned a ride from him down and tried to protest coming out with everyone. Whenever he’s around, I never know how to act or what to say. The very first time I stared into his gorgeous eyes, my tongue pretty much tripped over any words that stumbled out of my mouth. I’m not like all the other cheerleaders and popular girls who always try to get his attention with smooth lines, batting eyelashes, and skimpy clothes. I’ve even tried mimicking their behavior, but he treated me the same as he treats the rest of them: kindly but with no special response.

  Just as I open the door to climb into the back seat of Mike’s car, the unmistakable sensation of being watched pings the back of my neck with goose bumps. My eyes lock on Rob’s tall form as he stands beside his own car. He offers a small wave and a shy smile before he climbs in and starts the engine.

  Maybe Alyssa was onto something when she said the mystery guy might not be a coward but just shy. Rob’s definitely introverted; it’s one of the things I like best about him. It might be that I just haven’t given him enough motivation to treat me differently than anyone else. I’ll have to think of something more than what all the popular girls do. Clearly, acting like them doesn’t hold any sway with him. But what else can I do to make myself seem more attractive to him? I don’t have the first clue about what guys like.

  As Chelsie and Mike chat away in the front seat, my mind is focused on one goal and one goal alone: to make myself impossible to resist to one irresistible Rob Falls.

  Three

  First Time for Everything

  Junior Year, Rob

  My shiny, blue muscle car purrs as I pull into my usual parking spot at school. All the other students loiter around their vehicles, stalling as long as possible before starting another lousy day filled with teachers, assignments, and the usual high school bullshit. Their words come out in clouds of white that remind me of comic strip speech bubbles. They huddle together for warmth against the frosty winter air rather than take shelter inside the building. While they stand in groups and talk excitedly about their plans for the weekend, I hide out in my car until the last possible minute. I’m not in the mood to fake it today with my teammates. Hell, I’m not even in the mood to hang out with my friends. Their constant looks of pity and words of encouragement are getting on my last fucking nerve.

  If I have to hear one more time about how I’ll get over it and it’s her loss, I will lose my shit.

  The loss isn’t hers alone. It’s definitely mine too. And it hurts more than if I’d lost the biggest game of my life.

  My head falls back onto the leather seat with a dull thud that echoes around the interior of the Mustang. I squeeze my eyes shut and take a few deep breaths of the faint scent of Pop’s aftershave, which fades away a little more every day. If you’d have told me a couple of months ago that two of the very few things I truly love and admire in this world would be ripped away from me, I wouldn’t have believed it.

  Yet here I sit, my grandfather, mentor, and overall hero six feet under after a suicide no one saw coming and the girl of my dreams dating someone else.

  Life is such a fucking bitch sometimes.

  Especially when hindsight is 20/20 and you know damn well you could’ve prevented—or, at the very least, changed the outcome.

  All I had to do was pick up the phone that fateful night six weeks ago. Maybe if Pops had heard my voice, had had someone to talk him through his grief, he’d still be here. If I’d noticed how much he was missing his own girl, I wouldn’t have gone on and on about mine every time I visited. Instead of listening to his advice about how to win my crush over, I could have listened to more of his stories about the love of his life. Maybe if I’d just paid a little more attention when he came to see me play for the state championship, I’d have noticed he was off. But no. I was too busy celebrating. Too busy searching for the gorgeous, blue eyes I fantasize about every night in the sea of fans and exhausted, sweaty football players.

  I never did find her in the crowd that day.

  That was another missed opportunity. With all the adrenaline coursing through my veins, I would’ve finally done it. I would have kissed the fuck out of her and, hell…probably asked her to marry me. Then she would’ve laughed and we both might have brushed it off as a joke and byproduct of the euphoria of a big win. The biggest win.

  Followed by two of the toughest losses I’ve ever had to choke down.

  It’s fucking ridiculous that I was more concerned about landing a date with the girl who doesn’t even give a damn about me instead of spending time with my grandfather. My priorities have been fucked up for way too long. I just never imagined she’d force me to set them straight, but only after it was too late. Pops is gone. Evie’s moved on. And I’m just…left behind.r />
  My door abruptly swings open, which nearly causes me to fall out of my seat and onto the pavement.

  “Get your brooding ass out of this fine car and into the building, Falls.”

  I roll my eyes and stifle a smartass retort, choosing to reach over to the passenger’s seat for my backpack instead of punching Alex. He’s been an unfailing rock of support for me since Pop’s funeral. His methods of trying to cheer me up where Evie and her new boyfriend are concerned aren’t as welcome, but they’re still well-meaning.

  He keeps stride with me as we cross the parking lot to the entrance of hell, a.k.a. Ironville High. “So, I was thinking, tonight, after the game, we hit the diner and see what single chicks take the bait. Then head back to my place for some real fun.”

  I don’t even bother to hide my scoff. “Real fun” to Alex means making out until he at least reaches second base. Or more.

  “Wait a minute.” I study him as we walk through the double doors. “How do you not already have a date lined up for tonight?”

  His sharp, blue eyes gleam with excitement even as he shrugs and tries to play it cool. “I don’t always have something planned. Sometimes it’s good to just fly by the seat of your pants and see where things take you. Ya know?”

  Yeah. I see what he’s doing, here. Trying to get me to buy his line of bullshit and make me believe that everything will be okay. Same fucking song and dance I’ve been hearing for the past month. Whatever. I’m over it.

  “So what you’re really saying is that, if you snag a girl at the game, I can do what I really want to do tonight?”

  A voice booms behind me. “No, we’re not letting you sulk in your bedroom for another Friday night.”

  I whirl around only to be met with Mike’s hard stare as he walks towards the junior wing of the building with us.

  He’s probably the only person in this building more pissed off than I am that Eddie got to Evie before I did. I’ve been avoiding his inevitable dressing-down over the whole situation as much as possible, but it looks like my last thread of luck has finally worn thin.

  Alex claps my shoulder as I turn around. “Come on. You need to get out and live a little, bro. There are plenty of fish in the sea.”