by Lori Wick
He had admitted to her on more than one occasion that he had a hard time reading the Bible. And one time when they had discussed memorization, he told her he thought it was a waste of time. 'dter all, I've got the whole Book right here," had been his words, and they had bothered Bobbie immensely.
Bobbie often shared with him from the latest passage she had been reading, but Cleve never reciprocated. And
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another thing--she worried about his concept of prayer because of yet another conversation they had had.
"Will you be praying with me, Cleve? I've misplaced my spare set of glasses and I really want to find them."
"Honestly, Robbie, you don't actually bother God with those types of things, do you?"
"Well, yes," Bobbie had answered uncertainly. "I mean, whenever I need help of any kind, I go to God. What sort of things do you pray about, Cleve?"
"Well, not little things," he had replied almost defen sively. "After all, God did give us brains and I think we need to use them."
Bobble had thought on his words for a long time and did some studying in her Bible. If they weren't to call on God for everything, then why were the Psalms filled with pleas for help and praise to God for His every provision? Why did God state repeatedly that the very beasts of the fields were in His care if He didn't want his children to go to Him for their needs?
Bobbie ended her search with the verses in Luke 12, verses 6 and 7: "Are not five sparrows sold for two farthings, and not one of them is forgotten before God? But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; ye are of more value than many sparrows."
Bobbie had shared the verses with Cleve, but he had only shrugged, noticeably uncomfortable. There were times when Bobble wondered how she could even enter tain thoughts of marrying Cleve. Yet there were those occasions when he made her feel special or cared for, and she was almost sure he was the one. But the operative word was almost.
Bobbie knew that if she married Cleve, she was doing so with her eyes open. She didn't have doubts about his
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salvation, but Cleve did not seem to be growing in the Lord, and what was worse, he seemed content to stay that way.
Bobbie's beliefs were quite different. She knew the first step had to be an acceptance of the gift that God offered through His Son's death on the cross, but it didn't stop there.
The Bible said that when a person is in Christ he is brand-new, and it was upon these words that Bobbie faced the fact that she couldn't go on living as she always had. God was in control now, and old things like selfish ness and pride were no longer to be tolerated because they were not pleasing to her Lord.
Some people would have said that Bobbie was some sort of fanatic, but Bobbie knew better. Never had she experienced such peace. It was indeed a peace that passed all understanding, a peace in knowing that her eternity was secure and that God cared about her every moment on earth, and was there for all her needs.
Bobble knew she had to share her feelings with Cleve in a letter. He was quite sure that she would eventually be his wife, and Bobbie was having to face facts: Unless Cleve did a tremendous amount of changing in the time they were separated, she simply could not marry him and still be in obedience to God.
Maybe she hadn't answered her mother's question honestly. Maybe she was entertaining thoughts of mar riage to Cleve because she was quite certain he would be the only one who would ever ask.
Tuesday did not start well for Jeff. Sylvia was at the office very early wanting to see him. They hadn't talked for over a week, specifically since the Sunday before when she had left the churchyard in a furious display of dust. Jeff's several attempts to talk with her had availed him nothing. Three times he had gone to her sister's house and tried to see her, but she refused tb even come downstairs. Jeff figured she needed more time and decided to back off.
When by the next Sunday Jeff had made no effort to approach Sylvia, her fury mounted. She waited all that day and Monday for him to try again, but by Monday evening he still hadn't made an appearance. Sylvia found she couldn't take anymore. Tuesday morning she was at the shipping office just after 8:00, dressed to perfection and wearing a forgiving smile on her face.
"Have you got a minute, Jeff?" Sylvia asked in her most humble voice, and Jeff, sincerely wanting to clear the air, walked her to the buggy.
"I'm sorry I didn't see you last week," Sylvia started right in. "I'm afraid I wasn't feeling very well."
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Jeff saw her excuse for the lie it was, and for the first time he wasn't sure what to say to this woman he had been seeing. He was still trying to figure out what had been so upsetting about his suggestion that they eat at his house.
"Well, I'm glad to see you're feeling better now." Jeff replied with the first thing that came to mind, but he almost felt as if he had lied himself.
"Thank you." It wasn't what Sylvia wanted to hear, and she just barely controlled another show of temper. Jeff was looking uncomfortable, and Sylvia knew then and there that her plan had backfired.
She had deliberately let Jeff think she was angrier than she was, in hopes of bringing him to his knees. But all it had accomplished was to drive him farther away. The beautiful blonde couldn't help but wonder how long it would have taken him to come to her if she hadn't made the first move. She could see she had a lot of repair work to do.
"The main reason I came today," Sylvia improvised, "was to ask you to supper tonight at the hotel." Sylvia's voice could have charmed the birds from the trees. "Just the two of us in one of those cozy little tables by the bay window. It'll be my treat." Sylvia was smiling in a loving, almost intimate way.
"Thanks, Sylvia, it sounds great, but I've made plans. Can we make it tomorrow night?" Jeff was completely sincere and he smiled at her in true kindness. He desper ately wanted to clear the air and even wished he could leave work on the spot to do so. But his talk with Bobbie was equally important and he knew he must not cancel it.
Sylvia was in a near state of shock. Time and again Jeff
had asked her out and she always made sure he knew her refusal stemmed from another man's invitation for the evening. But never had Jeff turned her down. In fact, Sylvia was tremendously prideful knowing that he dated no one else and hadn't dated anyone long before she came back to visit.
"You've made plans?" Sylvia asked uncertainly, and Jeff answered unsuspectingly.
"Right. You see, Bobbie and I need to talk, so she's coming to my house for supper tonight."
"You and Bobbie?" Sylvia's voice had gone very soft. "Right. We should have talked when she first came back. There are some things which have waited too long to be cleared up."
It never occurred to Jeff to lie or try to cover up his evening with Bobbie. He saw the look on Sylvia's face and stood in surprise as she climbed into her buggy without a word. She ignored Jeff wlen he called her name and even shrugged off the hand he had laid on her arm. Jeff stood and watched her whip her poor horse into a frenzy as the buggy bolted down the street.
"What's the matter?" Bobbie inquired of Jeff, who had gone back into the shipping office and was standing by her desk like a man lost.
"I'm not sure. Sylvia wanted to go to supper tonight and I told her we'd have to make it tomorrow because you were coming over. She wouldn't even talk to me. Climbed in her buggy and rode away."
"Oh Jeff," Bobbie whispered, "how could you?"
"How could I what?" the young man asked in all honesty.
"How could you tell Sylvia that you can't see her because you're having dinner with another woman?"
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"But we're not--you know." Jeff finally caught on and was looking at Bobbie incredulously.
"Well, I certainly know that, and so do you, but obvi ously Sylvia doesn't."
Bobbie watched Jeff turn from her desk and stare out the window for a long moment. When he was still quiet after a time, Bobbie
spoke.
"You need to go see her and explain. In fact, I think we should cancel tonight so the two of you can go out."
Jeff turned and looked at the woman standing behind the desk. A wish rose up strongly within him that Sylvia was as understanding as Bobbie. But Jeff immediately pushed it away; it was a disloyal thought.
"Jeff." Bobble called his name softly. He was looking at her but he didn't really seem to know she was there.
Jeff made an instantaneous decision. "Thanks for offering, Bobbie, but I'd still like you to come to supper." 'are you sure?"
"I'm sure. I'll try to see Sylvia at lunch, but we'll keep our plans for tonight."
She only nodded, hoping that Jeff knew what he was doing.
"Hello, Sandra. Is Sylvia here?"
"Yes, Jeff, she's here. Come in." Sandra was faintly satisfied to see Jeff on her front steps. She had just told her sister the day before that she would not lie for her again. Sandra thought Sylvia was crazy to have a gor geous man like Jeff Taylor calling on her and pretending to be sick or out.
"Have a seat. I'll tell Sylvia you're here." Sandra walked up the stairs, glad to have an opportunity to show her sister she meant business.
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"Sylvia, Jeff is here." Sandra poked her head in the door of her sister's room, which always looked as though a tornado had just passed through. Sylvia answered
from the unmade bed where she had been crying. ,Tell him I'm sick."
"No," the older woman answered calmly.
"What do you mean no?" Sylvia's voice was shrill with panic. Surely Sandra hadn't meant what she said; she never did.
"I mean that if you don't come down right now and
see Jeff, I'll tell him he can come up."
"You wouldn't!"
Sandra's answer was to shut the door and start back down the hall. But Sylvia snatched it open before her sister could move five feet.
'afll right, all right," Sylvia whispered furiously. "I need a few minutes."
"Okay, I'll wait for you."
Sylvia gave her sister a withering look before slam ming the door and rushing to the mirror. She stopped just short of repairing her face, a new plan forming in her mind. 'Maybe it would be a good idea to have Jeff see me like this.' Sylvia realized that she didn't look too bad. She touched up her hair a bit, took the last lace-scented hankie from her top bureau drawer, and went into the hall, her face a picture of rejection.
Sandra's eyes rolled in her head at the obvious display, but Sylvia's mind was made up and she ignored her. Jeff stood up from his place on the sofa as soon as he spotted the women on the stairs. Sandra smiled at Jeff as she passed through the room and Sylvia sat on the sofa and waited for him to be reseated.
Jeff didn't immediately notice hat Sylvia had been
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crying. He was too busy trying to find words to breach the awkward silence that stretched between them. Then Sylvia spoke first.
"Why are you here, Jeff?"
"I'm here to find out why you're so angry with me all the time." Jeff hadn't meant to say that, but was glad he did. He was, by nature, a noncombative person. He would usually go out of his way to avoid a fight, which included stuffing his real feelings deep inside, some thing that was often a mistake.
Sylvia didn't know what to say. He had never men tioned her temper before. She decided to go with that.
"You know I have a temper, Jeff. It doesn't really mean anything when I get mad." But the words didn't wash with Jeff and he again surprised himself by saying ex actly what was on his mind.
"I can't agree with you, Sylvia. It does mean some thing. I somehow doubt that you would care to be on the receiving end as often as I am."
Jeff looked as vulnerable as he felt, and Sylvia felt ashamed. She felt instantly contrite and wanted desper ately to tell him why she did the things she did, but if he knew how much she cared he would certainly use her; after all, that was the way men were.
It never once occurred to Sylvia that she herself used people constantly, with her schemes to trap Jeff into marriage, her sister and brother-in-law, and the men that she dated to make Jeff jealous. And in one sense Sylvia used herself. She knew if she ever got Jeff alone, really alone, she planned to use every wile in her power to get him to say he loved her or force him into a proposal.
''I'm sorry, Jeff." Sylvia could think of nothing else to
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say, and indeed the words did not come easily, but Jeff was waiting her out, Sylvia could see that.
"I'm sorry too," Jeff replied, "if I've done something to hurt you. I really would like to go out tomorrow night. Is there anything I can say to change your mind?"
Sylvia stood and walked to the front window. 'So he hasn't come to say he's broken his dinner date with Bobbie.' The thought infuriated her but she fought to regain control. She kept her back to the room until she was sure she could manage a smile.
"Of course we'll go out tomorrow night. I shouldn't
have run off. What time shall I pick you up?"
Jeff smiled. "You're going to pick me up?"
"Indeed. When I ask a man to dinner, I do it up right."
Jeff laughed with relief. It was awfully nice to have Sylvia smiling at him again.
Jeff had a quick bite to eat before he went back to work, and when he left Sylvia was smiling and waving at him from the door. To have Sylvia not speaking to him had been a dark cloud hanging over his head. It felt good to know that everything was out in the open. He should have told Sylvia a long time ago that it made him uncom fortable to have her so angry with him all the time.
Bobbie could see that Jeff's mood was improved when he returned from lunch; she was happy for him. Every one's mood was light as they worked the afternoon away, and then Bobbie found herself between Jeff and Gilbert for the ride to the Taylors.
She hadn't felt hungry until she walked in the back door and smelled May's supper on the table. Gil assisted Bobbie with her chair at the table, and as she was seated a feeling of contentment rose within her. She had prayed a long time this morning and last night in regard to her conversation with Jeff.
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As Bobbie began to eat she knew that God was going to bless her and Jeff for making this effort to clear the air and settle the past once and for all.
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IThanks, Mom."
"Yeah, thanks."
"Thank you for supper."
The words came from the men around May's kitchen table, and Bobbie was impressed. Bill had punctuated his gratitude with a kiss and Bobble found the gesture extremely tender, but oddly enough, when the room cleared and she and Jeff were left to work on the dishes, she felt embarrassed.
It wasn't that she was unaccustomed to seeing shows of affection. Bobbie knew that she wouldn't have been embarrassed if Jeff hadn't been in the room. Why that was, she wasn't sure.
"'Do you want to wash or dry?"
"I'll wash," Bobbie answered with relief, seeing a chance to hide her flaming face. Jeff had volunteered them for kitchen duty in hopes they could talk, but the piles of plates, cups, and pots were diminishing rapidly and still they had only discussed work and which kids from school were married and starting families.
"How did you meet Cleve?" Jeff asked suddenly.
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"'Well, he lives and works in Jenner and attends the same church as my aunt and uncle. We got to know each other when he started coming into the shipping office every day for lunch. Then he began to stop by my aunt
and uncle's, and well, we just got to know each other." "i must say, Bobble, I'm a little disappointed."
Bobble turned from the dishpan to look at him. "Disappointed? In what?"
"You." Jeff was actually teasing, but he was in for a surprise. "You don't sound at all like a woman who is head-over-heels in love."
Bobble turned back to her washing. "Love is not the only reason to get married, Jeff." The words were sai
d softly and sincerely. Stunned, left had to tell himself to go slowly,
Jeff believed love was the only reason to be married, but something in Bobbie's voice told him that if he said that to her right now, it would hurt her deeply.
"I've always thought that love needed to be at the top of the list. What reasons were you thinking of?" Jeff's voice was nonchalant, not once betraying how fast his mind. was working.
"Oh, things like companionship, wanting children of
my own, security--those types of reasons."
"But not love?"
"I think love could come, especially if the two people care about each other."
"Does Cleve share your beliefs?" left asked, still speaking with more calm than he felt. He was jumping to the same accurate conclusions as Maryanne had the night she and Bobble talked in the bedroom.
'?tctually they're more his ideas than mine, but I think they might have some validity."
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"Might?" Jeff questioned her. "Then you're not entirely sure?"
"No, I guess I'm not. The truth is, Cleve has asked me to marry him, but I haven't given him an answer. He's coming for a visit sometime this summer and he thinks I'll say yes then."
"He's sure you'll say yes?" "I think he is." 'nd you?"
"I'm not sure one way or the other." They worked in silence for a few minutes as they finished the job.
"What does that look on your face mean, Jeff?" Bobbie was untying her apron and taking a seat at the kitchen table.
"I'm confused. I thought you stayed in Jenner all this time because of Cleve and here I find out you're not even in love with him." Jeff thought his words might have hurt her, but she answered as though everything was fine.
"I've only known Cleve for about a year. And one of the main reasons I've hesitated in saying yes to his proposal was because of how badly I wanted to come back to Santa Rosa."