Eye of the Gazelle

by Marcia Tucker

  Crater noted that no one in the room would look at either of the others for several long minutes. The freiascha sat untouched. The Freen was not in contact with any of them, but its fronds were subtly trembling. It's... afraid?

  *

  With a growing sense of dread, the three Dracons hashed out the plan for approaching the Mind of the Eye of the Gazelle. After a couple more calls to Althaea, a call to Jaime Cenntl enroute to Sarga from an alternate path to avoid coming near the Eye, and a frank discussion with the Andromedea personnel, the Attitudinals began to set the pieces of the plan in motion.

  The Andromedea, it had been decided, would retain its present personnel, but the ship itself would remain safely outside the edge of the Eye, near Merak but just out of reach of Taree scanners, which were vastly inferior to those of Agency starships. Vekta mattported the ship there, and brought Jaime's Nebulae-class Elektra to the same location; Jaime would continue to Sarga where Imperial Khagan Tesirax was anxiously awaiting his arrival.

  Novella, meanwhile, with permission from the Starguard Director, secured another Nebulae-class starcraft, the Tysona, from Perseus Guard headquarters. Vekta, Stander, and herself would physically use this craft and enter the range of the Eye; no other personnel would be therefore exposed. Because they could risk no others, the craft would be adrift in space. Zena Hendrian would accompany them but not be required to merge unless necessary.

  Karol VanderKirche offered medication for the nausea and vertigo the Dracons would experience, but the Chief Medical Officer already knew the offer would be refused. Even so, he prepared an essential oil blend for them to inhale at need, like the aromatherapy Crater had provided for the crew when they'd been at Gozgazel before. To his relief — and Crater's — the Dracons deemed the all-natural preparation to be acceptable. The blend would not interfere with their telepathy, only relieve what would definitely be distracting symptoms.

  These hypersensitive Dracons will not even notice those things after exposure to that Mind, Thho considered with irony. Ah, I may have to start this project all over when this is done...

  A time was set. Vekta would mattport the Andromedea from Vega Community to the designated position outside the Eye in one hour. He had already sent Jaime ahead, and Novella had already procured the Nebulae Tysona from Althaea, and was currently checking it out with Stander in the Andromedea's hold. Meanwhile, Vekta had a very important goodbye to take care of.

  *

  “I'm going to send you both to Althaea now,” Vekta told the twins solemnly. They were in the family suite, sitting in the middle of the floor of the main room, all holding hands together.

  “Bapa,” Cory murmured, trying her best not to cry, though her eyes were already leaky, “I know you have to go take care of this big problem. But can’t we help after all? Isn't this why you had our telepathy potential developed?”

  Vekta sucked his breath in sharply, looking at her earnest expression. He'd forgotten he'd once thought that. “You know I have to be involved in dangerous things. I just wanted you to have proper training since you were already manifesting your telepathy.”

  “We won't try anything stupid,” Story said quietly. “I know this is major, serious stuff. We're kids, after all. We want you to trust us to be good, right, Cory?”

  Cory sniffed, her expression clouding. “But—”

  Her twin elbowed her in the ribs, hard. “Cory!”

  “Ow! Okay, okay!!” Cory scowled for a moment, rubbing her side, then quickly schooled her expression. “Right, we'll be good, Bapa, or else I know we're grounded for life. We'll even... we'll even...” She swallowed, hard. “We'll even let that Fleet lieutenant boss us around! I won't talk back to her or anything, I promise!”

  “I accept your promise, Cory, thanks,” Vekta murmured, squeezing her hand.

  “But, Bapa,” Story said, serious, “if there is anything — even like something where you have to use our powers and you have to make us unconscious or whatever to do it — if anything can help, you have our consent to use us. I mean it.”

  “Me, too,” Cory chimed in, brightening. “I consent, too!”

  Vekta blanched, ducking his head suddenly. Then he had himself under control, and looked up to give them a smile. “You two are the best, you know that? And I do want you to get along with Maddi Hewett. She's really not so bad.” Anything to change the subject...

  “If you say so,” the twins said together.

  “I've got to get going,” Vekta said abruptly. “Be good, you two. Remember that I love you very much.” He pulled them both into his arms for a hard, but quick hug. “I love you, twin stars.”

  “Bapa!” The twins hugged back hard.

  But Cory Rentclifv arrowed a thought at the cybernism. “Make sure he eats and sleeps!”

  Crater did not reply, of course, but made a mental note to that effect.

  Designations of Mental States:

  consci0 – subconscious or state of unconsciousness

  consci1 – normal waking state of consciousness

  consci2 – heightened state of awareness

  consci3 – hyperaware state of awareness; meditative state

  consci4 – heightened state for Attitudinals

  consci5 – higher state for certain higher Attitudinal functions

  Designations of Merge States:

  merge1 – sharing of mental energies on a simple level

  merge2 – more intense mental merging; no ego loss

  merge3 – deeper merging, partial ego loss

  merge4 – deeper merging, ego loss immanent

  merge5 – loss of ego and complete merge of minds

  25: Mind

  Austine Tauscher was having an extremely difficult time calming her nerves, alone on the Andromedea control deck except for the communications chief, Sabella Daro, who was pointedly trying to ignore her superior's restless demeanor.

  We're going to lose them, maybe all of them, Austine was worrying, a foot tapping against the floor in agitation, her hands wringing together. I'm going to lose Stander! This is going to be the worst disaster ever to hit the Perseus Arm, it's going to tear space apart, and the Taree Empire and then the USC will be swallowed... I'm going to lose Stander...

  Sabella glared at the viewport. “Do something!”

  Crater debated calling the new Nebulae-class starcraft, the Tysona, but he knew the Dracon High telepaths aboard and Zena were preoccupied with their approach to the Eye. So he contacted the medical department instead. Meanwhile, he applied an aromatherapy blend of lavender and chamomile to the control deck's air.

  The medical second, Krendan Mischell, arrived via the z-g shaft to the control deck, carrying a bottle with a brownish liquid within. — and a syringe. He strode over to the Executive Officer, who looked up, startled. “Excuse me, Major Tauscher, but your agitated state has been reported. Your choice—”

  “I beg your pardon?” Austine snapped, irritated. The calming odors were helping minutely. “Leave me alone to wallow in my misery!” she added in a menttrans to him.

  “If you refuse treatment, I have no other choice but to contact Major Colonel Rentclifv about your condition,” Krendan said placidly, refusing to menttrans back.

  “My... condition?” Austine stared at him, then sighed, the lavender and chamomile working a little more now. She stopped her restless movements and stared at her hands, which were still trembling. Then she looked at what he was carrying. “What's that?”

  “Whiskey... neat,” Krendan explained, carefully suppressing his revulsion for alcohol. “And a relaxant.”

  “Can I have both?”

  He swallowed carefully. “No. Just be aware that I will have to report this... consumption.”

  “Damn... well, report away, then, Kren! I'll take the whiskey,” Austine muttered, reaching for the container. “Yeah, this is a time to be a little drunk, I think...” She took a swig, then grimaced at the sharpness of the taste. “Yeah, this is it!”r />
  Krendan turned on a heel and left, autoporting back to the medical department instead of taking the shaft — afraid he'd say something more. He'd hoped she'd have preferred to be sedated and defer command to someone else.

  “Whoa, take it easy with that,” Sabella said, eyes widening.

  “You're not seeing this,” Austine murmured. “Crater, you're not seeing this either.” She felt the alcohol go through to her toes and took another drink. “There, I'm all better, see?”

  This is not the time for the acting commander of the ship to be drunk, Crater thought. She's completely freaked out by all this... not that any of the rest of us aren't equally unnerved, but we have responsibilities. He considered a potential scenario: the incapacity of the acting commander of a ship. Fleet protocols stated that the Chief Medical Officer could intervene. Since Karol VanderKirche was off duty, that responsibility fell to his second. But was Miischel's sending an alcoholic beverage to Tauscher not complicit involvement? Austine's mental powers overrode everyone on board... but if she's intoxicated, that might not be true...

  Crater took stock of the remaining High telepaths. Veladasser abe Ti, the science chief, had chosen to remain on Vriesia to help with the Telexan resettlement. VanderKirche was only a Level 5. Miischell was a 7, however, but he was only a captain. And there was Rand Vorclif, but he'd convinced Vekta to allow him to pilot the Tysona since he would only be as affected by the Eye as the other Dracons would.

  “Now who's being paranoid,” Austine said sarcastically to him. “Don't worry, I'll do my damn job and I'm fine now.” Aloud, she added to the communications chief, “All better, Sabella, see?” She held up her hands, steady now. And the container had disappeared.

  Sabella sighed. “Yes, sir.”

  *

  Rand had edged the Tysona into the influence of the Eye, wincing at the start up of the nausea. But he, as the others, wore a respirator that would provide a continual application of the essential oil blend designed to relieve the symptoms. What have I gotten myself into? he asked himself for the umpteenth time, glancing back to where the three Level 8 Dracons lay on medbeds in the adapted open space of the starcraft.

  Krendan Miischel had wanted to come, too, but their commander had insisted he wasn't necessary, though this situation was similar to when they merged and went to Aldebaran to stop the Sdaldi. Vekta was counting on Thho to send them back to the Andromedea if their lives were in danger. — or their minds shredded. But Novella had talked him into accepting Rand, against his better judgment.

  Rand took a deep breath and focused on his duties.

  Zena had unmanifested, not wishing to put his physical shell through the negative influences of the Eye. His adopted form was Human-like, after all, and unnecessary for what was going to be happening. He was still unhappy at having to be there at all, but at least he didn't have to participate in the merge. Since the Tysona's computer system was not in any way sentient, Zena would be handling the recording and documenting all of the measurable data they could gather, as well as evaluating the mental states of the Dracons. More busy work... He wasn't afraid, only piqued at being dragged along. I guess they have to do this, but I'm with Red on this. It’s not going to affect the USC.

  “Are you afraid?” Novella asked of Vekta.

  “Yes, of course,” Vekta replied, taking a deep breath, then set aside the respirator. He employed the Attitude of Equilibrium to suppress his body's natural response to the effects of the Eye, and to relax his muscles which were tensing up. “But we have Equilibrium and we have the Attitude of Compassion.” He used the latter Attitude to strip away his fears. “I'm not afraid now. We have to do this..”

  Novella did the same, mattforming and emforming as he did, until she felt like she was floating in a warm, soft ocean of peace. “We can do this...”

  Vekta and Novella were both already risen to consci4; Stander was in consci3 and waiting patiently, strengthening his Tryker controls. In addition to the Attitudes already employed, the Attitude of Vitality would ensure there be no depletion or loss of stamina to mentally endure what was ahead. And the Attitude of Unity would allow them to endure the necessary deepmerging far longer than usual. Powerlessness, of course, would be employed to shield whatever emtransed stresses they might encounter from Rand and Zena.

  But first, the merge3.

  The Attitudinals went directly into merge3 with no transition, their union flawless and smooth. There was the expected tug to deepmerge further, but they resisted it easily. Then the Tryker entered. This addition to the merge3 actually strengthened their ability to resist slipping into a deeper mergestate, to their wonder and relief.

  Then the Attitude of Being, their mental perception reaching out to the source of the Eye of the Gazelle, slipping inside the dimensional barrier to the other universe—

  SORROW! GRIEF! GUILT!

  Before they could perceive anything of the other universe, a powerful compulsion assailed the merged minds of the Dracons as they touched for the first time a Mind without any sort of symbology or language, radiating sheer emotion. Not just any emotion, but immense surges of anguish. The composite mind of the Dracons was violently swept along into a hurricane of grief and regret that tore at them mercilessly.

  This was far, far stronger than the wailings of the empathic Nrors, overwhelming all other emotions, blocking all their senses. Every scrap of sorrow each of them had ever experienced in their lives were dredged up and increased a thousandfold, vividly relived in searing pain. Vekta found himself gasping at the agony and depression caused by Martan's death, overwhelmed with the sense of failure he'd felt, vastly more than what he'd actually experienced at the time. Novella relieved the fright of her near-devastation from the Distel and the horror of escaping the Taree outpost station on Gozgazel Primary Alpha.

  All three were swept up into memories of the social ills assailing the Perseus Arm: the grievous fate of the lower classes in the Taree Empire, the hateful system of “justice” there, the frenzied hatred of the Muphroi for the government on Turus that had repressed them, the cold, impassionate Sdaldi slavers and the ravenous Nrors.

  All this negative emotion rose thick and heavy within their emminds, threatening to engulf them, squash them, devour them.

  Zena, watching even though he could not feel the compulsion, fled in terror, autoporting away — though only just outside the Eye — his energy fluctuating alarmingly.

  Rand sat at his controls, white-faced and frozen even though he did not know why. But he knew with every fiber of his being that things were terribly wrong.

  More mourning kept pouring in: grief over the victims of the Nrors. Pricilla! Grief over the victims of the Muphroi Distel, the deaths of Xandee at the hands of the Ruena, grief over the demise of the mind of Crater 0002 — even grief for the deaths of Korgovax and the Sdaldi. It was a living hell, too much even for the Attitude of Compassion to handle.

  Thho, too, had been exposed to the compulsion, not merged with the others but present with them, but the torture for her had taken a different form. Hers was particularly frustrating because the severe emotions she was forced to taste to their fullest were alien to her. Thus it was that her frustration built up to a peak. And burst.

  “Why is there so much suffering? Why is this allowed??” Thho screamed at the merged mind.

  Then the compulsion thread was snapped effectively by two thoughts that arose from the composite mind, originating from the Tryker aspect: IMPERMANENCE IS THE MARK OF LIFE, LOVE IS THE ULTIMATE PATH TO SOURCE...

  It was a Tryker mantra, but Thho's scream and the meaning of the mantra was strong enough to break the Mind's hold on them. Operating without thought, the Attitudes of Compassion and Powerlessness encapsulated them in a safe bubble of calm and to their collective wonder, peace and conviction replaced all the anguish.

  Satisfied, the Pelan considered that Dracons were unusually equipped to accept this perspective. It was part of what set them apart from ot
her Humans, this inner sense of connectedness with the universe. All universes, what in ancient times might have been called the Tao or God. It was the sense that death was not a final answer, that something of a person's essence endured and was healed of all harm that physical existence could inflict. Since the dawn of telepathic powers in the race of Humans who had colonized Alsafi IV eight hundred years ago, this mindset had risen, had given the Dracons a peculiar aversion to any substance which could affect their mental pathways, and the strange aura they possessed which either attracted or repulsed others.

  So this Tryker mantra — ancient as it was, but something embodied by all Dracons — represented the perspective that life was to be lived in the moment, that living life in the now allowed everything else to be impermanent. Dracons also did not collect material things, yet family was very important to them, and in fact pair-bonding was unusually strong. They loved deeply, even as they let go of everything. There was little thought of this aspect of their collective mentality; it was usually left for a spiritual sect such as the Trykers to contemplate such things.

  Was there something about the planet itself that caused evolution to step up its pace? Eight hundred years was way too short a time to create a new subspecies. The Dracons who settled Chi Draconis II a mere hundred years after Alsafi IV had also continued to evolve and at the same pace. No one knew. There had been studies, but science simply had not been able to explain this.

  Now, in their bubble, the three Dracons considered: LOVE IS THE ULTIMATE PATH. And Love was allowed to well up, their love of life, love and respect for one another and those beloved to them, love for their chosen careers and the Agency and the United Star Communities and their fellow Dracons and all Humanity, indeed all living things, even energy entities and even the Mind in so much pain.

  But compassion was not going to be enough.

  The Mind, though still embroiled in its wallow of grief, felt surprise. Never before had any entities broken its compulsion. It wanted company in its personal horror show, wanted validation for its emotions, wanted to hurt because it hurt. Curious, it pawed at this thing that had contacted it, but now it could not touch it.