“Okay, well, so... I don’t know if it’ll help, but I’ll slip that into family gossip. My mom and his mom talk all the time.”
I looked up at her.
“Yeah,” she said, “my mom and I are talking again.”
“Wow, really?”
“Ye-ah... I apologized for putting her down and she apologized for cutting me off and... it’s not all perfect, but at least we talk. Look, can I ask you a huge favor?”
“Of course.”
“Do you have your endowment?” She wanted to know if I’d been through the temple. I knew that she hadn’t, but now that she was getting married, she would need to in preparation for her wedding.
“Yeah, I do.” I’d never let on that I had it, because I felt like it made me seem older. Petty of me.
“So... my mom wants to be my escort.” Everyone who went through the temple had an escort to help them through the ordinances, answer questions, and provide support.
“Your mom still got her temple recommend?” I asked. I didn’t know the details of how her mother had left the church, but I knew it had been years ago. If she’d had a temple recommend, it would have expired.
“No,” said Hattie, “but she’s working on it.”
“Wow.”
“I know. I just wonder... if she can’t get it before I need to go to the temple, would you be my escort?”
“Are you kidding?” That was a high honor. Escorts were nearly always family members.
“Please?”
“Of course. I mean, I hope your mom can do it, that is so great that she’s trying, but yes, I’ll be there for you no matter what you need.”
She hugged me, tight.
“So how did I do?” I asked Colin in my debriefing that afternoon over Skype, right before he went to work. “Did I make a fool of myself?”
“Doesn’t sound like it.”
“Think it’ll work?”
“If he’s still interested, yeah, it’ll work. And given the way he’s responded to you, he’s either still interested or very polite.”
“He is very polite. But he’s had a makeover. All of these girls are after him now.”
“Was anyone else trying to flirt with him after church?”
“No.”
“I think you’re just paranoid, then.”
“I hope so. But, listen, the second thing on the list is the perfect present. Examples are shoes and flowers-”
“Flowers,” Colin repeated with derision.
“Obviously he’s not going to want flowers. I was thinking maybe a new case for his smartphone? A new tie to go with his new shirts-”
“Those are typical woman gifts.”
“Is that bad?”
“Yes. You know what women like about flowers?”
“Um... it sounds like you have a theory about that. I would say just that they’re pretty.”
“They’re a complete waste of money. They’re expensive, and they last a few weeks at most. A guy who buys you flowers is saying, ‘I’m buying you something I would never buy otherwise, just because you want it.’”
“O-kay.”
“You buying him a phone case or a tie, that’s something for you. You want him to wear it so that he’ll look more like you want him to.”
“No, I’d like him to change back into his old clothes so that no one notices him. It’s not about me.”
“He’ll think it is.”
“So I should buy him flowers?”
“You should find out what is like flowers to him, you know? What’s something that you know he likes that you’d never spend money on, if you didn’t really fancy him?”
“Liiiike...”
“Like tickets to a sports match or a gift certificate to his favorite pizza place or-”
“Oh,” I said.
“You’ve got something?”
“Yeah. Okay. This’ll be interesting.”
The kid working behind the counter at the game store looked me up and down the moment I stepped in the door. He had a round face, glasses and hair that stuck straight up in tufts. If he weren’t in the company polo shirt, I imagined he’d wear a t-shirt with 20-sided dice on it that had rolled in a way that geeks would find hilarious. “You play World of Warcraft?” he asked.
“Um, I don’t really know what that is,” I confessed.
“Oh, right. You need directions somewhere?”
“No.”
“We only sell computer games here. No board games or anything like that.”
“No console games?” I looked around in confusion. There was shelf after shelf with little, brightly decorated boxes, set out like videos at a rental place. I had searched the internet for the right kind of store and was sure I’d weeded out all the wrong ones, because like he said, there were a lot of different kinds of game store.
“Oh, yeah, we sell those. What are you looking for?” He gave me his full attention now.
“I want to get a gift for someone.”
“Oh, right.” He nodded as if the world now made perfect sense to him once again. “For your brother, or...?”
“For a guy,” I said. I moved away from the door and went over to the counter. “So, it’s like this, I really blew it with a guy who’s into console games, and I want to tell him I’m sorry and that things’ll be different if he gives me another chance.”
The kid looked me up and down again as if he doubted this story. “What are his favorite games?”
“I don’t know. I never paid attention. I know, it’s awful.”
The kid blinked, slowly and deliberately, like a lizard. “Does he not play much?”
“No, he plays all the time. It’s his favorite thing to do, and I never even bothered to look at what he was playing.”
“And you think that’s bad?”
“Isn’t it? I mean, how annoyed am I when a guy doesn’t know or care about what I do?”
“Are you for real?”
“Excuse me? Look, I just... what’s a game that’s not as well known? That he might not have, but is still really good.”
“How good?”
“Like, will make him think I deserve another chance kind of good. After I treated him like garbage for six months straight.”
The kid looked at me like I’d just grown a second head. Again his gaze traveled down to the floor and then back up to my face. Boy was I getting tired of that. “Um, okay. What kind of console does he own?”
I looked past him at the consoles in their packaging behind the counter. “That one and that one. Are there any good games for those that aren’t well known? Or, maybe I need to spy on him? Get his roommate to help me?”
“Listen,” said the kid, “I can hook you up, but you have got to swear to me that you won’t tell anyone.”
“I don’t want to steal a game.”
“No stealing. Just faking some records.”
“What?”
“Wait right here.” He looked past me, out through the front windows, as if checking for surveillance, then darted through a door behind the counter. When he reemerged, he had a box clasped to his chest and a smug grin on his face. “Okay, this isn’t officially released until next week, and I swear I am in such deep trouble if you tell anyone I sold it to you.”
“I don’t want to put your job at risk.”
“Oh, I can cover my tracks. I’m the manager and I know what I’m doing. I’m doing this for the karma. I help you get your nerd, maybe the universe will send me a hot chick who is cool with my gaming.”
My cheeks flushed hot. “Thank you,” I said.
“Just, you understand that if anyone knows that you have this, the game company can sue me for everything I’ve got. Your guy trustworthy?”
“I’ll make sure you don’t get in trouble.”
“Okay.” He stuffed it in a bag and tapped some keys on the register. “The receipt is gonna show a different title.”
“Right.” I tugged the bills out of my wallet and passed them across the counter.
He counted out change and handed it to me along with the bag, which he placed reverently in my hand. “Good luck,” he said.
“Thank you so much.”
“Welcome.”
I walked out of the store with an item I would never, ever spend money on if it weren’t for the fact that Len loved games. My version of flowers.
Out in my car I laid out the wrapping paper I’d brought, wrapped the game, and tied it with a bow. Then I slipped it into a gift bag. Just a plain white one, nothing over the top. Now it was time to write the card. I spread this open in my lap and mulled over what to say.
“Just my way of saying how sorry I am,” I scrawled. For a moment I debated whether to write “Love, Eliza”. No, I decided, too forward. I just wrote my name, sealed the card, and stuck it in the bag.
I then drove over to Len’s house and found Chris home, watching television.
“Hey,” I said, when he answered the door. “Give this to Len when he gets home?”
“What is it?”
“None of your business. Just give it to him.”
“Yeah, fine.” He grasped it in his hand.
I held onto it and looked him straight in the eye. “You’ll make sure he gets it?”
“Yeah, what? You think I’d try to steal it? What is it, even?”
“Men’s cologne,” I lied. “And I will notice if you wear it.”
He wrinkled his nose. “I’ll go put it on his bed.”
“It was expensive, okay?”
“I’m not gonna touch it.” He tucked it under his arm, looked at me like I was crazy, and disappeared into the house.
I left, confident that he wouldn’t open it. I called Len as I got back into my car.
“Hello?”
“Hey, listen,” I said. “I left something for you at your house. Talk to me when you get it?”
“What is it?”
“Nothing much.”
“Wait, why did you-”
“I’ll talk to you later, okay?” I hung up. Chicken of me, but it was the only thing I could think of.
At six thirty that evening, right as I was putting the finishing touches on a painting of a kitten pawing at wispy clouds in a powder blue sky, my phone rang and Len’s number popped up.
I answered, feeling as nervous as if I’d stepped onto a stage naked in front of an amphitheater full of people. “Hel-”
“Where the heck did you get this?”
“I can’t tell you, and you can’t tell anyone you have it. I guess the guy who sold it to me will be in big trouble if the news gets out.”
“What, you got it from some pirates or something?”
“No, no, it’s legit. It’s real. I just got one of the copies earlier than is allowed.”
“Holy cow!” came Chris’s voice from the background. “That isn’t cologne!”
“Huh?” said Len.
“Just, great. Can you get him to swear to secrecy too?”
“Liza, I am not keeping this.”
“What, are you nuts?” said Chris.
“I can’t give it back,” I said. “The guy at the store already did whatever he had to do to make it look like they never had that copy.”
“Could we, like, even play this or will Interpol come bust down our door?” said Chris. “If we don’t register it and don’t play in networked mode, will they even know? Man, come on. Let me see it!”
I heard a scuffle, then Chris bite back a curse as a door slammed.
“I can’t believe you did this,” said Len.
“I didn’t mean any harm. I just wanted to get you something you’d want, and I didn’t know what games you already had because I never paid attention, and I’m sorry.”
“I can’t accept this.”
That, I realized, was another advantage of flowers. There was little point giving them back. My plan was coming apart at the seams. “I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t mean to cross any lines. I just wanted to do something nice for you.”
“This is beyond nice.”
“By which you mean to say, it was totally inappropriate.”
“No, no... I mean... I just... uh...”
“I just meant to say I was sorry and get you something you would like. I’m sorry. I screwed up.”
“No. Listen...”
I waited.
“Um, I feel like if I accept this, I should go out with you again and I just can’t-”
“No,” I said. “You don’t. Never. I wouldn’t do that.”
“Well, I feel like a jerk just accepting this.”
That, I recognized, was an opportunity, but one I’d have to make careful use of. I didn’t want to shame him into anything he didn’t want to do. “Can we just talk sometime? Meet up for hot chocolate or something?”
“I...”
“Okay, forget about it. It’s fine. Really.”
“Yeah, let’s talk.”
“When’s good for you?”
“I’m so swamped with work at the moment. I just got a text from work saying I need to go back in. We got a whole new shipment of PCs that we need to integrate into the network and it should be easy, but it’s not. Sorry, I’m rambling here.”
“It’s fine.”
“I don’t know, is the answer.”
“Well, okay, if you’re working late, I’ll bring you dinner sometime.”
“No, don’t-”
“I think it’s better that we have something to do other than just talk, you know? Less pressure, natural ending time. Seriously, let’s do that.”
“Well... okay. Yeah, okay.” His voice got more certain. “Fair enough. That sounds good.”
“What day do you think is best for you?”
“Anytime in the next week.”
“Okay, well, let me get these projects done and I’ll give you a call.” I bit my lip. Here I was, playing my old games. I didn’t have any projects due. I was painting kittens and turtles and mice having tea. I needed to get some more gospel pieces done, but not urgently.
Len, however, sounded relieved. “Sure, you do that. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Bye,” I said.
“Bye.”
I noticed that he waited for me to hang up.
“Hard to say how that went,” said Colin in the next Skype session. He looked exhausted from his last shift. He wore a jacket over his scrubs still.
“Yeah,” I agreed. “I didn’t really do it right, did I?”
“I dunno. What do you think usually happens when a guy gives flowers? Sometimes the bird’s happy, sometimes she doesn’t even call, and sometimes it’s just awkward. I think you did okay.”
“I’ve decided, this dinner is going to fill the perfect date on the list. I mean, I should assume that this’ll be it. Right?”
“Right.”
Tears welled up in my eyes and I turned away from the webcam. “Yeah, sorry,” I said. “That’s what makes this awful. This is it, you know? Probably the last time I talk to him.”
“Hey, it’s all right. You can walk away from this situation and say that you did your best. What you need to do is make sure that you finish this without regrets.”
“Which means I need to make sure not to cry or beg or do anything else embarrassing that night.”
“Might want to avoid messy sauces or anything with the food.”
“No, actually, I want something to focus on. If I have to worry about not messing up my clothes, I can not obsess about the conversation.”
“Well, if that works for you.”
I flopped back in my chair. “Thank you,” I said.
“For?”
“Helping me through this. Being a friend. How are you, by the way?”
“Eh, I’m all right.”
“You been on any dates lately?”
“Um, you know, after our last conversation I... well I went and bought a rose and gave it to that girl I offended.”
“Oh really?”
“And we had a nice talk. We’re goin
g to the cinema next week.”
“Right on. Way to go.”
“Question, what should I wear? I know that sounds like a girly question...”
“When we went out for fish and chips, you looked good.”
“Really? The unbuttoned shirt wasn’t too much?”
“Um, no. I didn’t think so. You looked very casual and relaxed and easy to talk to.”
“And unbelievably hot?”
“That too.”
“That’s what really matters, you know?”
“Yeah, yeah, but I’m your friend. I’m not supposed to call you unbelievably hot.”
“Oh, right.” He smirked at me. “And you’re in love with a nerd.”
“Darn tootin’.”
“What?” He burst out laughing. “Did you actually just say that?”
“It’s not that funny.”
“I didn’t think anyone said stuff like that. Do it again.”
“No.”
“Please?”
“No.”
He laughed so hard he almost fell out of his chair. I tried to be annoyed, but it was hard to keep a straight face.
“I don’t swear. I need to get creative.”
That made him laugh even harder. “Do you ever watch The Simpsons?”
“I diddily don’t. Okay, I’m leaving now.”
Colin collapsed on the desk in front of him and pounded his fist against the wood. The sound picked up as a loud, hollow thunk over the mic.
“Bye,” I said, over the noise.
He didn’t lift his head, but he did manage a wave before I cut him off. I had a menu to plan for later in the week.
As it turned out, I did find a project to occupy my time. It occurred to me to check out agents for illustrators, since I seemed to be doing a bunch of children’s illustrations these days. I didn’t think I had a chance. This was a seriously competitive field, but I didn’t have anything to lose either. I got to work on a portfolio and was shocked to see how many silly little pictures of animals acting like people I’d done. I was never this prolific.
I was proud of the fact that the days flew by until I decided I really should take Len dinner on Thursday night. Friday he might not work late. I called him mid-afternoon, just as I put the pasta sauce on the stove to simmer, and I left it to simmer for the next several hours. As the time grew closer, I made pasta, which I tossed with the sauce and then left the two on the heat together for a minute to blend the flavors. I also did a batch of garlic bread in the oven, a green salad for a side, and decided to omit dessert. Dinner was long enough. I didn’t want to look like I was dragging it out.
Paint Me True Page 20