I watch as she folds my bony hands together and kisses the paper thin skin of my cheek. This isn’t right. I was never supposed to see this.
She picks up a piece of paper and kisses it before setting it on my chest. I lean in close to the screen until I can see the image clearly. It’s a picture of my father. The one that has hung on the wall in our living room since the day we buried him. I can’t hear her words, but I don’t need to. She’s telling me to say hello to Dad and to tell him that she loves him.
“I will, Mama. Soon. I will.”
A loud boom sounds from the wall where the door once was and a crack runs from the ceiling all the way to the floor.
“Get over by the computer.” Grant doesn’t hesitate to follow my directions, and it’s not a second too late. The wall implodes around us, and I throw up a giant barrier that stretches from one end of the room to the other and all the way from the floor to the ceiling.
Grant moves to stand next to me. “Glass? They’ll have that down in no time.”
I reach out and tap against the crystal clear wall where Dr. Brooks is pounding against the other side. “Not glass. Diamond. Now let’s do this.”
I march to the terminal and bring up the VR coding in seconds. The flash drive where I stored the tiny bit of virus coding at Grant’s house is long gone, but it doesn’t matter. I’m part of the system now. I don’t have to force my way in. The VR opens up for me like someone welcoming a long lost friend.
It takes seconds to pull up a new line of code and enter in the information that will wipe out every bit of information stored on the VALR database.
Hacking always came easy for me, like the lines of code and I understood each other. But this isn’t just easy. I punch the keys and it’s like breathing. Delete the drives? Okay. Wipe the archives? No problem.
The muffled noises of Dr. Brooks banging on the wall and shouting sound behind me, but I don’t pay them any attention. I am the system now, and he can’t get to me unless I let him. I’m not going to do that.
I find where VALR has a link to an offsite database where they upload their system updates daily. Tracing the link back to the external database and programming a clean wipe is like putting one foot in front of the other. I don’t even have to think about it. My body just knows how to do it.
My fingers fly over the keys and don’t stop until I’ve typed Execute Program. I hover over the enter key, but pause.
“Grant?”
“Right here.” Grant moves away from the wall and stands next to me, looking at the screen. “Did you just do all that?”
“Yes.” I glance over at him. “It’s ready.”
Grant nods.
This is it. When I hit the enter key, this all ends and we can both find the peace we deserve. I’ve been ready to die for as long as I can remember. I’ve known this was coming for me. That eventually the cancer treatments would run out. That I wouldn’t ever grow old.
But now that the moment is here, it’s harder than I thought to let go.
“Hey.” Grant grabs my shoulders and turns me to face him. “You don’t have to do this. Say the word, and we can walk out of here. I’m in one hundred percent. Whatever you decide.”
I reach out and grab Grant around the neck, pulling him close until his arms reach around my waist to complete the hug. I stand there and let his warmth and love and friendship wash over me.
I don’t know how long we stand there, until I finally pull back, wiping at my eyes. “Well, I’ve had enough crying to last me a lifetime. Okay?”
Grant nods, laughing and wiping at his own eyes. “Sounds good.”
“Let’s do this.”
I turn back to the keyboard, but Grant grabs my hand. “Together.”
I let our fingers twine together and close my eyes. Enjoying this last moment of living, even if it’s not real. “Do me a favor. When we get to the afterlife, look me up. I think you’d really like my dad.”
Grant nods. He’s on the verge of crying again, but he’s still smiling.
Slowly I lower our joined hands to the keyboard, letting them rest on the enter key before pressing down.
The computer screen bursts to life scrolling through my beautiful lines of code that will simultaneously end my life while giving it back to me. And the world goes dark.
Program Terminated
Want More?
Want to read more from Sarah Negovetich?
Check out the Acceptance Series.
Straight-laced, sixteen-year-old Rebecca can’t wait for her Acceptance. A fancy ball, eligible bachelors, and her debut as an official member of society. Instead, the Machine rejects Rebecca. Labeled as a future criminal, she’s shipped off to a life sentence in a lawless penal colony.
A life behind barbed wire fences with the world’s most dangerous people terrifies Rebecca. She reluctantly joins a band of misfit teens in a risky escape plan, complete with an accidental fiancé she’s almost certain she can learn to love.
But freedom comes with a price. To escape a doomed future and prove her innocence Rebecca must embrace the criminal within.
Turn the page to read more...
One
Before You Stands the Future. The dark-red banner strung across the storefront awning matches the dozens of others lining the streets of the shopping district. Each one with the same clock counting down to Acceptance. Tomorrow morning can’t get here soon enough.
I push the glowing blue button and the door slides open with a staccato puff of air. Overhead, an electric bell dings as I shuffle into the upscale boutique packed with other Candidates. Cheryl is right behind me, bouncing on her toes with each step. My mother would die of embarrassment if I showed the same lack of decorum as my best friend, but I’m bouncing on the inside. Our mothers walk in behind us and the door slides shut with another whoosh of air.
We visited half the shops in Cardinal City this morning in our search for the perfect dresses and dyed-to-match shoes. I got a thrill buying my first pair of silk gloves, Cheryl and I gushing over the tiny pearl buttons, but this is the purchase I’m looking forward to the most.
Shelves bursting with dance cards cover every square inch of wall space. Dozens of girls sigh and squeal over the small books we’ll use to record the names of our dance partners for tomorrow’s ball. I wipe damp palms against the cool material of my skirt and force myself to focus on the goal. One of these books is the perfect one for me. Hopefully, by the end of tomorrow night, it will hold the name of my future husband.
“Isn’t anyone going to help us?” My mother stares through the crowd of sixteen-year-old girls fawning over the books covering the display cases.
“Now, Mavis, we can hardly expect too much out of the salesmen.” Cheryl’s mother’s smile covers her face like a masquerade-ball mask. “Their pay is even less than a processor’s.” She lays a hand on her chest, appearing absolutely scandalized to the untrained eye.
“Dreadful,” my mother responds, her gloved fingers gripping the top of her handbag. “Of course, we both know all the money in the world can’t buy good manners.”
I’ve been watching this back-and-forth all day. Cheryl’s mother making little comments about how expensive Cardinal City must be for some people, knowing full well that my father’s processor salary doesn’t make a trip like this easy. My mother responding about the number of things money can’t buy, being equally aware that Cheryl’s occasional lack of refinement is a sore spot for her mother.
Maybe shopping together was a bad idea, but this is such a special weekend and I can’t imagine not sharing it with Cheryl. We only get one Acceptance ceremony, one chance to make the right first impression on our entrance into society. Between the ceremony and the celebration ball later in the evening, tomorrow is the most important day of our lives. I grab Cheryl’s elbow and lead her over to one of the less-crowded cases so our mothers can snip at each other without us.
Cheryl takes one look at the case and turns back toward the most crowded sec
tion of the room. “Rebecca, these books are so old-fashioned. I’m looking for a dance card that speaks volumes about the kind of woman a man can expect me to be.”
Speaking volumes is one of the first things he’ll notice about Cheryl.
I bite my lip for even thinking such an ugly thing. My mother must be rubbing off on me today. Cheryl may be chatty, but she’s the sweetest person I know. Any young man would be lucky to sign her dance card. “I think the newer books are closer to the front of the store. You go ahead. I want to wait until it clears out a bit first.”
Cheryl gives my arm a squeeze and practically skips over to the other cases. The books here are older, but there’s something charming about them. The newer ones in the display window have a small screen on the front that flashes the owner’s name. Gentlemen can type in their name to reserve dances for the ball or even scan their OneCard once we get them after the ceremony.
I’m sure plenty of girls think having everything so automated is the height of elegance. For me, there’s something unromantic about asking a young lady to dance the same way you pay for lunch or clock in at work.
A light-blue book catches my eye and I lift it off the soft velvet stand, fingering the raised silver filigree along the edges. Inside, the paper is stiff and slightly yellowed. This dance card has to be at least twenty years old. A relic from the days when people still used ink pens instead of sending messages through a Noteboard.
The flowing script leaves a spot on each page for a single dance partner to sign his name, with plenty of pages for an entire evening of dancing. The girl who can fill this book will leave the ball tomorrow night with sore feet and several potential suitors.
“I must say.” A white-haired salesman, moving too slow to still be working, but with an endearing smile, walks out from a room behind the display cases. “It’s nice to see a young lady take an interest in a card that doesn’t go flash, bam, whiz at the touch of a button.”
I smile back at him because that’s the polite thing to do, but also because he makes me feel smart for wanting something so old. “It’s beautiful.”
“That it is, and this dance card has something those modern imitations don’t.” He takes the book and flips back all the pages to show the inside of the thick cover. Hidden in the binding is a small clasp he flicks with the tip of his nail. The back cover bends open to reveal a hidden pad of paper tucked inside.
“A false binding,” I say, keeping my voice down as if we’re discussing national secrets. “What is it for?”
The salesman beams at me, any trace of tiredness eclipsed by his wide smile and the mischievous twinkle in his eye. “The front pages are for the young men to make their intentions known, but these pages are for you. A place for your memories.” He folds the false cover back in on itself until a small click indicates it’s secure before closing the book up and holding it out to me.
“Thank you so much.” I clutch the book to my chest, its glorious potential pulsing in my hands like a living thing.
“For a beautiful young lady such as you,” he says, winking, “it’s my pleasure.” He pushes back from the counter, and shuffles off to help the next Candidate looking for the perfect dance card.
I twirl a golden curl of hair around my finger and scan the room for Cheryl and our mothers. The salesman called me beautiful, but that might be stretching the truth a bit. I’m pretty, at best. It’s a good face; not beautiful, but pretty.
Leaning back against the counter, I enjoy a rare moment of solitude. It doesn’t last long.
“Rebecca, there you are.” My mother strides as fast as she can across the plush carpet in her ridiculously high heels and pulls my hand down to my side. “If you insist on wearing your hair loose, the least you can do is leave it alone. You’ll knot it to death and we still have lunch.”
I hold my breath and wait for her ‘importance of appearance’ lecture, but lucky for me she’s distracted by my book choice. She plucks the blue dance card from my hands and examines it from top to bottom. After picking out my entire outfit for tomorrow, I should have known she’d want to weigh in on this as well.
She may have an opinion on everything, but her choices for me are almost always spot-on. It makes life easier for both of us if I go along with whatever she suggests, but picking out a dance card is the one thing I really wanted to do on my own. Letting my mother select it takes some of the romance out of attending my first ball.
She glances over at the newer books, with their flashing screens, and I prepare to be disappointed. “It reminds me of my Acceptance ball dance card.” She tucks it under her arm, the barest trace of a wispy smile on her bright-red lips. “It’s a lovely choice. Now let’s be sharp. I want to be at lunch when the most people will be there.”
I follow her across the room to the sales desk in a state of shock. My mother approved of one of my choices. Maybe now that I’m about to become an official member of society she’s seeing me in a different light. As a woman who’ll start a family of her own in a few years.
Cheryl and her mother are already at the sales desk where a younger man in a cheap suit is helping them. He wraps a bright-emerald book with a crystal-embossed ‘C’ on the front cover in airy tissue paper before settling it into a lacy white bag. Cheryl’s mother spins around, bag in hand, and raises an eyebrow at my selection. “I suppose the older books are a bit more affordable.”
I strap on my best ‘I am a lady’ smile. I love Cheryl like a sister, but sometimes her mother drives me to the brink. “I rather fancy the idea of something a bit more traditional. Plus, a boy signing your book is so much more intimate an experience than scanning his OneCard.”
Cheryl’s jubilant smile comes crashing down and her shoulders sag. Of course, the book she selected would be fitted with the newest bits of technology. She probably doesn’t even realize how hurtful her mother’s comments are. I’d certainly never bring it up, but in my haste to put her mother in her place, I’ve put a damper on my best friend’s excitement.
“Cheryl, please,” I grab her hand and give it a quick squeeze, “With your beautiful smile the boys will be staring so much, you could ask them to sign your shoe.”
The sheer force of will it takes my mother not to roll her eyes at me is astounding. Her facial muscles actually tense with the effort. She takes my dance card to the desk and Cheryl and I step outside to wait.
Spring is in full swing in Cardinal City and the events of the weekend make the warm air whirl with life. Down the street, the setup is going on in the central square. The gathering space here in the capital is at least three times as big as the one back home. A huge screen covers the entire side of one of the buildings flanking the grassy area where the Acceptance ceremony will take place. A projector flashes the official Acceptance slogan “Before You Stands the Future” in bright-red letters against the white backdrop.
“Can you believe it?” I say, fighting to keep the squeal out of my words. “Tomorrow everything changes. We’ll go through Acceptance, attend our first ball.”
“And meet our future husbands.” Cheryl does squeal out the words, but I can’t blame her. This is our one and only chance to meet young men from the other Territories. Thanks to my mother, I’ve already met every eligible boy back home and none of them are right for me.
I want a husband who can walk in the room and command attention. A man who deserves my respect and admiration. I need a husband who I know will always be there to take care of me and our children. If I want to meet the man of my dreams, and avoid a Compulsory marriage to a complete stranger, tomorrow is the night.
In the square, a team of red-uniformed workers rolls a lacquered black podium onto the stage. That’s where the Cardinal will give the traditional opening speech before the ceremony starts. For as long as I can remember, I’ve sat on the green floral couch in our living room and listened to his speech on the radio. His stern voice pumped through the speaker as if he was talking directly to me. The thought of seeing him in person sends ch
ills of excitement and fear up my arms. “Sometimes the Cardinal gives me the creeps.”
“Rebecca!” Cheryl stares at me wide-eyed, newly manicured fingers covering her gaping mouth.
I shouldn’t have said that out loud. The Cardinal’s rules are the foundation that keeps us from sliding back into violent chaos. Acceptance weeds out the violent criminals, Assignment makes sure every man has a productive role to benefit society, and Compulsories keep families intact.
But just because I understand why the rules are in place doesn’t mean I have to like them all. How can Assignment be such a great idea if my father’s job makes him miserable? He would never say a word about it, but it’s hard not to see how bored he is with the menial work or hear my parents’ regular arguments over money.
It’s a good thing negative thoughts about the Cardinal won’t jeopardize my Acceptance. Only criminals and deviants are Rejected. Still, it’s bad form to speak ill of the man who brought the United Territories out of a spiral to destruction. Without him, there wouldn’t be any jobs to complain about or an Acceptance to attend.
“Sorry.” I roll the thin, knotted pendant of my necklace between my fingers. “I’m just nervous about tomorrow night.”
Cheryl pats my hand, always willing to overlook my random outburst. “Don’t be. It’s going to be magical.” Cheryl’s eyes glaze over and the goofy grin on her face is a sure sign she’s lost in thoughts of charming suitors and romantic waltzes.
“What if it’s not?” I drop my pendant and weave an arm through Cheryl’s. “What if there isn’t a boy out there perfect for me that also meets my mother’s expectations?”
Cheryl presses her lips together and nods. My mother has made no secret about her desire for me to “marry up”. But I’ve seen what happens when a girl marries for stability instead of love. A part of me thinks a Compulsory would be better.
“You can’t think that way,” Cheryl says, giving my arm a little squeeze. “Mr. Right is here. I can feel it.”
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