The Art of Life

by Carter, Sarah

  “I can’t think of a better reason,” he replies, coming in for another kiss.

  “Jeremy,” I chastise. “As much as I want to jump you, we need to be serious.”

  He growls, “You want to jump me, huh?” His hand finds the top of my pants again. “I can handle that.”

  Everything in me is yelling for him to stop, but I let him. Jeremy leans and kisses me again. Though as he unzips the zipper, I pull away. “I am still not going to have sex with you.”

  “Mmmm,” Jeremy hums against my lips. “I bet I can change your mind.”

  I jump off the counter. “Oh, I bet you can, but that’s not what I want. I love you. I desperately love you, but I want to wait.”

  “I know,” Jeremy sighs. “Sorry, I am a guy and it has been years, and I haven’t wanted to with anyone, but there is this urge with you now. I will have to keep myself in check.”

  Taking a deep breath, I say, “We need to cool it down a little. I think both of our minds are a little cloudy right now. I mean, I have only experienced these feelings once before. It’s like an adrenaline rush.”

  “It’s a good adrenaline rush,” Jeremy replies, coming back over by me. “I say we skip dinner.” He grabs me and pulls me against him. “I think it’s time for bed.”

  “Oh no!” I exclaim. “We are not sleeping in the same bed tonight. I do not trust myself enough.”

  With a frown, Jeremy groans, “Fine, let’s eat then.”

  I smile, kiss him and then go to cut the lasagna. As I prepare dinner, Jeremy goes and cleans up the glass. A few minutes later we eat and talk like nothing is different, maybe that is a point, that there is nothing different. We have been acting this way the whole time because we loved each other. Now, now, it just makes sense.

  We have a hard time cleaning up and getting ready for bed. Well, I should say, I have a hard time, because Jeremy is all over me. Don’t get me wrong, I am all about him being all over me. It feels great, but there is also the voice of reason in the back of my head, though that voice is growing more and more distant.

  A little while later, we are standing in the hallway saying goodnight. I lean in and kiss him. “I will see you in the morning.”

  “Mmm,” he hums. “I am going to have some really good dreams I think.”

  “Pervert,” I giggle. “Now, go to sleep.”

  Jeremy leans in and kisses me on the forehead. “Sleep well my love.”

  Backing up, I smile at him. He returns with the same warm expression. My heart is beating a million miles an hour as I go into my room. I turn my light off and lie down. My head is swarming with thoughts, so I roll over onto my side and pull the blanket over my head. A few minutes go by, when I suddenly feel the blankets pulled back. I roll over and laugh. “I told you to sleep in your own bed.”

  “Since when do I listen?” Jeremy replies. He slides under the covers and pulls them back over us. “I can’t sleep another night without you. I am sorry.”

  “I don’t think I was being realistic. I would probably have been in your bed in a few minutes,” I retort. “We really need to be serious. You have work and I have school.”

  He pulls me against him. “Mmmhmmm,” Jeremy replies. “Just kiss me.” So, I do.

  The next morning I keep Jeremy slightly off me. We both are really tired. I tell him this confirms my idea that we should sleep in separate bedrooms. He replies that is nonsense.

  I drive to school with the biggest grin on my face. There is a slight skip to my step now. When I get to my locker Eric and Jack are standing there. “Good morning,” I chirp.

  “Good morning,” Jack says back.

  Eric smiles, “How did everything go yesterday?”

  “Great, thank you,” I reply. “You were right.”

  With a confused look, Jack asks, “Were right on what?”

  “Nothing,” Eric replies.

  We all stand there for a minute, and then Jack looks at me. He bursts out laughing. “What?” I say, awkwardly.

  “You have a hickie on your neck,” Jack points out. “Someone had fun yesterday.”

  “I do not!” I exclaim. Quickly, I open my locker and look at the mirror. “I am going to kill Jeremy.”

  Jack just snorts. “Oh, it’s funny.”

  “What’s funny?” I hear behind us. Oh great.

  I turn around to find Sonya standing there. I sigh, “Nothing is funny.”

  She narrows her eyes and says, “Yeah right.”

  “Isabelle has a hickie,” Jack chuckles.

  “Jack!” Eric and I yell in unison. He gives us a perplexed look.

  Sonya crosses her arms. “So, you finally gave in and showed your true colors.”

  “Yes, Jeremy and I finally gave in and confessed our love to one another. No, I still have not slept with him, and don’t plan on it anytime in the near future. He is my boyfriend and what we do is our business not yours. Actually, nothing in my life is your business, but you know what I don’t care anymore. Say what you will, do what you will, I don’t care. I have a boyfriend who is drop dead gorgeous, funnier than hell, smart, talented and that loves me to death. Can you say the same thing? No, I didn’t think so. I am pretty, smart, a great artist and have more talent in my pinkie than you have in your whole body. You love to tear people down to make you feel better about your own insecurities. Well knock it off, it’s not attractive to guys.”

  “No, it isn’t,” Eric confirms.

  Glaring at me, Sonya huffs, “Whatever.”

  A wave of confidence sweeps over me. I step up to her. “Don’t you dare think you can pick on me anymore. You might as well talk to a wall, because it isn’t going to bother me. You mean nothing to me. I used to think you had everything and I just realized you have nothing. That is why you rip on everybody else, but when you get out of high school, you are going to have a rude awakening. That personality will get you nowhere fast. Trust me, my friends are in their 20’s. They are the ones who taught me that. My best advice, grow up Sonya.” Stepping back, I take a deep breath. “Now, excuse me, I have to get to class.” I turn to Eric and Jack. “See you later boys.” Eric actually high fives me, which makes me laugh.

  The rest of the day is normal. I actually had one of my scarves in my locker, so I put it on. I am still going to kill Jeremy. That night I get home and the house smells delicious. Jeremy is standing in the kitchen. I walk in and see the biggest vase of tulips. “Awww,” I sigh. “Those are so pretty.”

  “I wanted to get you some,” Jeremy chimes. He quickly walks over and kisses me. I wrap my arms around him and return the affection. When we pull away, Jeremy laughs. “I went to this place that you buy the food, it’s premade but you have to cook it. It’s awesome and delicious.”

  “Cool,” I reply, setting down my backpack. It’s then that I look at the table. “Where are the lilies?”

  Jeremy turns around. “I thought it was time to let that go.”

  “Oh Jeremy,” I say quietly. “No, I love them. They are gorgeous. It doesn’t bother me.”

  “Once in a while then,” he replies. “For now, it’s about you.” I smile. We have an awesome romantic evening. It is great and I couldn’t be happier. Later, after I get my pajamas on, Jeremy demands that we dance in the living room. It makes me giggle, but I agree. As we are holding each other tightly, he whispers, “So, what are we doing for my birthday?”

  Confused, I ask, “When is your birthday?”

  “Saturday,” Jeremy answers. “What should we do?”

  I softly smile and say, “It’s your birthday. What do YOU want to do?”

  “I can think of something,” he mischievously replies. I roll my eyes. “I don’t know. Let’s go have fun. Let’s go dancing. Dinner and dancing, that sounds great. This time we will only enjoy each other’s company as it should be.”

  “Are we inviting the boys and Cassandra?”

  He nods. “Yeah, it will be fun.”

  “Sounds good.”

  So, Saturday rolls aro
und and we are getting ready. Jeremy wants to go to the steak house for dinner. So, Cassandra and I went to buy new outfits, because….well….we are girls. I bought a really pretty, flowing, red halter dress and a pair of heels. Cassandra made me wear them around the house for a few days, so I wouldn’t trip and break my neck later. Jeremy said that was very alluring. I just laughed at him.

  Dinner is really nice. We laugh a lot. Jeremy keeps running his hand up my leg, and I brush it away. I told Cassandra that we are together, but I don’t think the boys have a clue. I don’t know who was more excited about us being together, me or Cassandra.

  Much later, we are standing around a table upstairs at the club. I am chugging a bottle of water. Jeremy and I have been on the dance floor all night. We were trying to not be obvious, but there was a lot of heated dancing, though we haven’t kissed since we left the house, and I think I may explode. Finally, I set the empty bottle down. “I need to use the restroom.”

  “I will take her,” Jeremy instantly chimes. Josh shrugs like it’s nothing. We quickly dash down the steps. When we get into the back, we are instantly on each other. We do stumble our way to the bathroom. After a minute, I breathe out, “I do need to use the restroom.”

  “Hurry up then,” Jeremy replies. I back up and close the door behind me. When I come back out, I don’t see Jeremy. I furrow my eyebrows. Suddenly, I am tickled from the side. “Boo!”

  Yelping, I smack him. “That is not funny.”

  “Hey, you may be my girlfriend now, but you still have to put up with me.”

  I narrow my eyes and smirk. Quickly, I push him to the wall and kiss him. Jeremy spins me around and we just embrace each other. A little while later, there is a cough from the side of us. We let go and look. Josh, Kent and Cassandra are standing there. Josh looks a little dumbfounded. Kent just starts to laugh, “We were coming to see what was taking you so long, but I can see what was holding you up.”

  When I look at Jeremy, I have to wipe lip stick off his face. “Oops,” is all that I can whisper.

  “So……do you guys make out often?” Kent asks.

  “Only since we started dating,” Jeremy replies with a grin. “Sorry, we tend to get distracted.”

  Josh throws up his hands. “Finally! Dear lord, we were wondering when you would come to your senses.”

  We all laugh. “I tried to stop them, sorry,” Cassandra declares.

  Kent’s jaw drops. “You knew!”

  “Of course I knew,” Cassandra replies. She scoffs. “We girls tend to tell each other everything. You will learn that.”

  “Oh jeepers,” Kent groans. Now that everyone knows, Jeremy and I can finally show affection, and we do, a lot.

  Time flies by and then Christmas approaches. The closer it gets, the more my stomach turns. When we are packing to go to Texas, I ask, “Are you sure you want me to go?”

  “Of course,” Jeremy replies, like it is the stupidest question ever. “They will love you.”

  “Yeah,” I mumble, “but I didn’t know Kaitlin. Maybe, they won’t like me. I mean, I have no idea how to behave.”

  Jeremy walks up and puts his hands on the sides of my face. “Just act like yourself. You will be perfect.” He bends over and kisses me.

  Christmas isn’t so bad. They are the kindest people I have ever met. Of course, they make Jeremy and I stay in separate bedrooms, since we aren’t married. I think it’s hilarious. Jeremy just rolls his eyes. They take me horseback riding on their thoroughbreds. I think that is the greatest thing ever.

  I am excited that they have a Christmas tree. We decorate it while I am there. We fill them in about my family life, or lack thereof. They are more than welcoming in their home. The Billings’ do have a Christmas party in their ballroom, so Jeremy spends days teaching me how to waltz so I will be prepared.

  During the party, Kaitlin’s father Richard comes up to me. “May I have this dance?” My eyes shoot to Jeremy, and he waves his hand to the dance floor. I shoot him a quick glare and then take Richard’s hand. We get out into the crowd, and Richard smiles. “I will take it slow.” With that, we start to dance.

  Blushing really hard I don’t look at him. He laughs and I ask, “What?”

  “You remind me of Kaitlin in ways. The only person she was comfortable dancing with was Jeremy, too,” he replies.

  “Really? You were her father,” I say.

  Richard chuckles and shakes his head, “Yeah, but I wasn’t Jeremy. He was everything to her.” That makes me quickly advert my gaze. “I don’t say that to make you uncomfortable. My wife and I wanted to say thank you. Jeremy is like a son to us. After Kaitlin died, a part of him died. He wasn’t the same. Jeremy was broken.”

  “I know,” I whisper.

  With a smile, Richard states, “You have brought him back to life. He is his old self again and so incredibly happy. We just wanted to say thank you, thank you for bringing him back to us.”

  “He is everything to me, too. So, I guess Kaitlin and I have that in common.” That makes Richard laugh.

  The night of Christmas Eve is wonderful. We make hot chocolate and sit around the fire. They tell me horrendously funny stories about Jeremy. There are a couple of times that he groans. “She is going to dump me pretty soon.”

  “Sorry, you can’t get rid of me that easily,” I reply, snuggling up next to him. He just kisses me on the top of my head.

  In the morning, I am woken up by Jeremy crawling into bed with me. “Jeremy!” I hiss in a whisper. “They are going to get mad if you are in here.”

  “We are adults,” he retorts. “Anyway, I just came to get you up, and to give you your major Christmas present.”

  That makes me sit up quickly. “What is it? Wait, it’s nothing perverted and that’s why you are in here.”

  “No,” he laughs. “It’s this.” Jeremy hands me an envelope.

  “What in the world would fit in here?” I ask.

  Rolling his eyes, Jeremy says, “Open it Isabelle.”

  I quickly tear open the envelope. Inside is a banking statement. “What is this?”

  “Your bank account,” he states, sitting up with me. I open my mouth to protest and Jeremy quickly puts his finger on my lips. “Listen, this isn’t spending money. This is a college fund. I want you to go, and I don’t want what happens to us affect that.”

  “What would happen to us?” I ask, scared.

  His eyes widen, “Nothing by my doing. This is just in case.”

  “I can’t accept this,” I say.

  Jeremy takes the envelope away and looks me right in the eyes. “You will accept it. Please, for me, right this second. This is what I want for you more than anything in this world. Just take it, but I swear if you use it for anything other than school, I will thoroughly yell at you.”

  Leaping forward, I tackle him and kiss him as hard as I can. He returns the affection. When I finally pull away, I whisper, “Thank you.”

  Gently pushing my hair away, Jeremy replies, “You’re welcome. Now, come on, they are making pancakes.”

  Christmas Day is a blast. They gave all their help the day off, so it’s me and Lillian in the kitchen. She is so sweet, and everything I have always thought a mom should be. The whole day is incredible. The Billings bought me a lap top. I give a quick glance at Jeremy and he gives me the look to not say anything. I give my thanks and hug them both. It is a really nice computer.

  When it’s time to give them their gift, I make Jeremy give it to them. “This is pretty much solely from Isabelle,” Jeremy states. “My idea though.” He hands over the large, square package.

  Lillian gives us a quizzical look. “What is it?”

  “Just open it honey,” Richard says. I nervously watch Lillian open the present. Her hand instantly goes to her face when she sees the portrait. “It’s Kaitlin,” Richard states with a smile.

  “It’s beautiful,” Lillian whispers. “Thank you.”

  That makes me proud. “You’re welcome.”

&nbs
p; I am kind of sad when we have to leave. The Billings say that we need to come back sometime soon. We agree and give them both hugs. When we get home later that day, I sit down on the couch…and start to cry. Jeremy quickly comes up to me. “What’s wrong?”

  “That was wonderful, so wonderful, and they are great. I just…..I can’t help but think of my mother. What if things had been a little different? What if she was more like Lillian? I didn’t know holidays like that existed.”

  Jeremy puts his arm around my shoulders and holds me close to him. “I know exactly how you feel. I still think you had a little harder than I did, but still, I know how it feels. We have each other now, and I will always make Christmas special. It can be our holiday.”

  “I had such a good time,” I sniffle. “I can imagine that Kaitlin was just as kind.”

  “She was,” Jeremy whispers. “Richard and Lillian adored you though. They said as much.”

  Putting my face in his chest, I whisper, “I kind of miss my mom, in some bizarre, sadistic sort of way.”

  “Well, she is your mom. Do you want to go see her?” He asks gently.

  Thinking about it for a second, I reply, “No, not really. What would be the point?”

  We sit there for a while in silence. Then Jeremy brings up my head and kisses me, after that, the world disappears. School starts up again, and life is great. A few weeks go by, when I am going to my locker at the end of school. When I look up, my stomach drops because my mother is standing there. “Speak of the devil woman,” I mumble. Walking up to her, I ask, “What do you want?”

  “I came here to talk to you,” she states. “Can we go somewhere privately?”

  “I don’t have much to say to you,” I retort, opening my locker.

  My mom rings her hands. “Please Isabelle, just give me ten minutes.”

  I think about it for a minute and then slam my locker door. “Fine,” I growl. “We can go talk in my car.”

  “You have a car?” My mom inquires.

  “There are a lot of things that I have that you don’t know about,” I say, starting to walk down the hallway. My mom follows me silently.

  When we get to my car, my mom stops. “This is a really nice car.”