The Pit in the Woods: A Mercy Falls Mythos

by Nathaniel Reed

  “That’s a good boy,” Myron said. “Now give your daddy a hug.”

  Jesse ran into his arms, resting his head on Myron’s shoulder. Karen rubbed the boy’s back.

  “All right pal? Everything’s okay.” Myron separated from him, holding Jesse at arm’s length. He pointed at him, making a gun of his hand, like in the cowboy movies his son liked to watch. “We cool?”

  “We cooh,” Jesse said, doing the gesture back, but doing it wrong. He was actually giving Myron the finger, though he would have no clue what it even was.

  Donna chuckled, trying not to laugh out loud. Myron grinned, and Karen hugged him again. “Good,” Myron said. “Let’s go on the safari.”

  4

  The rest of the trip was eventful, but in a good way. It wasn’t until their last night there, before they had to leave the next morning that things went wrong, but this night, it was not for them, although they felt incredibly bad for the unfortunate family. They were shopping for souvenirs at Downtown Disney, when they saw a family at one of the registers. The entire family was crying, and a boy of about eleven or twelve, was holding onto his mother, sobbing.

  “My God,” Donna said. “What could have happened to that poor family?” From where they stood they could see over the shoulder at the cashier whose face bore an expression of sincere sympathy, but who clearly didn’t have a clue what to do. They got close enough to hear.

  “All our money, everything we had, they took it,” the mother

  was saying.

  It soon became clear they had been victims of pick pocketing. In Disney World, the happiest place on Earth, no less. This made it even more atrocious. Some uncaring, greedy bastard had ruined this entire family’s vacation.

  “I’m sorry,” Myron said, digging in his pocket. The cashier was already calling a manager on the radio. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt. Look, I know it’s not much, but I hope it can help you buy some souvenirs for your family and friends back home. I know I’m not going to use it all.”

  He was trying to hand her a fifty dollar bill.

  “Oh no sir, I couldn’t,” the mother said, cracking a smile that broke up the tears if only for a second.

  “You can, and you will,” Myron said, taking her hand in his, palm up and dropping the bill into it. He closed her hand into a fist around the bill.

  “I hope it brings you some joy, and the knowledge that not everyone on this earth is a heartless bastard.”

  The depth of gratitude on her face was immeasurable. “Thank you so much sir.” She embraced him. “You don’t know how much this means to me.”

  “I think I do.” They walked away. The manager came minutes later, and Myron would have been pleased to know that they’d comp’d the rest of the family’s stay, which was for two more nights, as well as sent them several gifts to their room to make them feel more welcome.

  “That was downright decent of you,” Donna said, kissing him,

  “My knight in shining armor.” The lovemaking that night was especially intense, even having to keep it down, with the kids in such close proximity.

  5

  Leaving at eight thirty in the morning was a bad idea as they quickly realized when they were stuck in I4 Westbound traffic. The car was completely stopped. Myron decided to turn on the radio. Everything was talk in the morning, barely any music. He tuned into some guys named Pat Lynch and Taco Bob. They were actually pretty funny, but when it got too vulgar for the kids, Donna forced him to change it.

  “Um, honey,” she said, and that was the end of it, although he could tell she was quietly enjoying it herself. Myron managed to move an inch before braking again.

  “Darn traffic.”

  “Don’t worry,” Donna said. “We’re not in a hurry. We’ve got the rest of the day.”

  They heard a thump from up ahead, and the distinct sound of a tail light shattering. Someone had apparently switched lanes without looking, and the car he’d cut in front of didn’t have sufficient time to brake. Of course it was the guy who’d been hit; a massive bald guy in a ribbed tank and blue jeans; who got out of his car angrily, (even though he was in the wrong), and strode over to the other car.

  “Oh great,” Myron said, “More traffic delays.”

  The guy in the car made the mistake of getting out. He clearly just wanted to talk. He was allotted an entire second after standing up before he was punched in the face.

  Jesse started to wail.

  “It’s okay Jess,” Myron said.

  The poor skinny guy in the glasses and suit and tie, on his way to work, now had a bloody lip and shirt.

  “You fucking prick! Look what you did to my car!”

  “Shouldn’t you get out there and help him?” Donna said.

  “Hell no! And get my ass beat too?” He looked back at the kids. “Sorry, my can kicked. I’m calling the police.”

  He picked up his cell phone to do just that as doubtlessly

  countless others had. A couple of guys did get out of their cars. Not

  big guys, but bigger than both Myron and skinny work guy. Together they held back the hairless behemoth.

  “Easy man,” they were saying. “Back it up. No one needs to get hurt here.”

  They signaled the victim who was currently shivering and trying to overcome a wave of dizziness and nausea. They used their heads to signal him to get back in the car, since their hands were currently occupied.

  Massive guy struggled and showered them with expletives, but hard as he struggled they held on to him for dear life. For the other guy’s dear life in particular, since he had nowhere to run or drive off to.

  The sound of police sirens in the distance caused him to settle down. He walked back to his car, but the two guys stayed standing. Myron assumed they wanted to make sure to point out the guy that started it all. Their eyes were fixed on his car. He wouldn’t get away with it by trying to blend in with the crowd. It looked like skinny guy wasn’t going to get out of his car to say anything.

  It was at least two hours before things were settled and both their cars were cleared off the road. Two sets of cops were talking to each of them, and across the way massive and skinny were having a duel of the evil eye. Massive ended up in cuffs, and skinny drove off with the rest of them, when traffic eventually got moving again.

  “You okay Jesse?” Myron asked.

  Jesse nodded, rubbing his eyes.

  “Tyler?”

  Tyler nodded. He seemed to be in a slight shock, but nothing terrible. He didn’t bother to ask Karen. Karen understood that things like this happened, because there were bad people and good people. It was the way of the world. She was hugging her brothers, maybe wishing they would never understand. It seemed Myron had passed on a bit of his empathy to Karen. He wished that she would never have to carry that burden. That none of them would. And she was still so young.

  6

  They were finally back on I75, heading toward exit 40- their exit. Myron was staring at the license plate of the car in front of him. Of course they didn’t call them license plates down here. They called them tags. Yeah, he still couldn’t figure that one out. When he first went to get his Florida Driver’s license he didn’t know what the hell the lady at the DMV was talking about.

  This car’s particular tag read LEG MAN. He guessed the guy was into women’s legs (and hell, who wasn’t), and not talking about chicken or frog legs.

  “Well, at least it’s better than ASS MAN,” Donna said. The kids were asleep so she wasn’t worried about them listening.

  “Yeah,” Myron said, “That would be taking away my title.”

  “Oh really?” Donna raised an eyebrow.

  “As if you didn’t know.”

  “Yes, you do seem to shower affection on that particular area of my anatomy.”

  “Such a lovely area it is,” Myron grinned.

  “Well, maybe you can shower it some more when we get back.”

  “Maybe?”

  “All right,�
� she conceded, “Definitely.”

  “That’s better. Don’t worry; I’ll take very good care of your donkey.”

  A chuckle erupted from her. “I’m sure you will.”

  Karen stirred.

  “Whoops,” Donna said, “Better keep it down.”

  They pulled into the driveway twenty minutes later. Donna

  and Myron exited the car, opening the back doors.

  “Should we wake them?” Myron said.

  “Nope, let’s just carry them to their beds,” Donna said.

  “Karen too? She’s pretty big now.”

  “Well, she’s in the middle. So let’s each take a side and carry

  one of the boys in. Then we’ll wake Karen.”

  Myron looked at her uncertainly. The boys weren’t incredibly heavy, but they’d grown considerably in the last two years. Taking them up the stairs would be quite a chore.

  Donna looked at Myron and said, “Okay, okay. We’ll wake them all up.”

  Myron let out a sigh of relief. “C’mon kiddies, we’re home. Time to rise and shine.”

  There were some grunts of disapproval. Myron shook Tyler softly. Karen was already yawning herself awake, arms outstretched. Jesse was still dead to the world.

  Eventually they all made it back to reality, exhausted and ready for bed, to which they all returned immediately. Myron and Donna went to bed, but not to sleep. The kids didn’t even open their souvenirs until hours later when they got up. Donna made everyone brunch.

  7

  Going back to work on Monday was not exciting. Myron worked at a Washington Mutual Branch, which always made him somewhat nervous. It was an open and friendly atmosphere, so much so that the counters were set up more like registers, with no boundaries between the tellers and customers, unlike some banks that had set up bullet proof glass, and other barriers. He’d never been robbed, however. Thank God for that.

  Although he wasn’t excited to be here, he did feel a lot lighter and happier since the trip. Everyone noticed. Of course they all asked how it was. And he said, “Fine, great.” He didn’t bother to recount the minor setbacks, because the trip had been a magical experience overall. He imagined it must have been more so for the kids. Jesse kept asking, “Are we going back to Disney?” And Myron said, “Sure. I don’t know when, but we will.” In another ten or twenty years, he added in his mind. Kids had no concept how much a vacation like that

  actually cost. It took them ten years just to save up for it.

  “Have a magical day,” Myron told the lady leaving his counter. She looked at him strangely. He hadn’t realized he’d used the phrase the vendors and hotel staff had been using throughout his vacation. “You too,” she said.

  Oh great, Myron thought, when he saw who the next person in line was. That white-haired cranky old fart Mr. Carlton Demi, often called Mr. Carlton and Mr. Demi interchangeably, since they both sounded like last names.

  April, the girl who was working next to him gave Myron a look, and said, “Oh, I’m sorry,” shaking her head as she watched Mr. Demi approach.

  “Good morning Mr. Demi,” Myron said.

  Carlton Demi grunted.

  “What can we do for you this morning?”

  He shoved papers toward Myron. Myron looked them over, and per the usual, they were filled out wrong.

  “Okay, Mr. Demi, you need to put down the amount of the checks when you are getting cash back. Also, you didn’t write down the amount you’re depositing.”

  “Well, look at the checks, and look at the amount I asked for back and do the math,” he said gruffly.

  He looked over at April, who shrugged.

  “I’m sorry sir,” Myron said. “We can’t fill out the paperwork for you. You have to step out of line and fill in the amounts I asked you for.”

  He mumbled some incoherent curses, as he took his deposit slip and checks back, but Myron caught the last of it: “Fucking jerk off.”

  “I’m sorry,” Myron said, “What was that?”

  “You ought to respect your elders, son,” Demi said.

  “Right,” he nodded, “You should do the same with others.”

  Mr. Demi grunted and walked away.

  Myron looked at April again. “You deal with him when he comes up again.”

  April nodded. “Why don’t you just call the manager? He has no right to curse you out like that. You did nothing wrong.”

  “Of course not; I don’t have to do anything. He’s just a mean, cranky old son of a bitch who’ll never be happy, and wants to make everyone else’s life miserable. And he gets mad at us when he fills out the paperwork wrong, to boot, which is always.”

  “Yeah, I know. You’ve got another customer coming.”

  Myron looked. “Donna? Hey, what are you doing here?”

  She lifted a brown paper bag. “Brought you lunch. I was kinda bored.”

  “Not subbing today?”

  “Just for a few hours this afternoon.” She worked as a substitute teacher at the local elementary school. It wasn’t much, but it brought in a little extra income and gave her something to do while the kids and her husband were away.

  “Kids still in school?”

  Donna nodded. “Where else would they be?”

  “Yeah, dumb question,” Myron agreed.

  “Will you be off for lunch soon?”

  “Probably not for another hour.”

  “Too bad. Well, I guess I’ll be off then. Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, just had Mr. Carlton.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry.”

  “Actually, he’s over there refilling out his deposit slip.”

  She sneaked a peek over. “Wow, he even looks mean. Well, good luck. I’d give you a kiss across the counter, but I know the cameras are watching.”

  “Well, you could blow me a kiss.”

  “That I could,” and she did. Myron shot one back at her.

  “Thank you so much for stopping by and bringing me lunch.

  Love you.”

  “Love you too. Bye.”

  He waved.

  “Aww,” April said, “That was so sweet. Why didn’t you introduce me?”

  “You haven’t met my wife?”

  “Well…. no. I’ve seen her stop in a few times before, but you never remember to introduce me.”

  “Oh man, I’m sorry April. This is going to sound stupid, but it’s just that when she surprises me like that, it’s like I can’t focus on anything else. It’s like the rest of the world shuts down.”

  “No, that’s not stupid at all,” she smiled, and he picked up on the warmth, just like he’d felt the waves of hatred emanating from Carlton Demi, which he was now feeling again. “Oh shit, he’s back.”

  April motioned Demi over. “Can I help you?”

  “I hope so,” Mr. Demi said, glaring at Myron. “Did I fill this out right now, or do I have to write my whole life history?” he said, holding up the slip.

  She grinned. “Well, let me have a look.” He handed it over.

  “Yep, looks right. I’ll run these through and give you your forty dollars back.”

  “Good, and can you make it quick? I’m in a hurry.”

  Yeah, to go where? Myron wondered. Sit on your rocker and bicker about the neighbors? He could see April was suppressing the urge to leap over the counter and strangle him.

  Instead she said, “Right away,” and ran his transaction through as quick as humanly possible, more to get rid of him than to fulfill his request. “Have a good day sir.”

  “Ha, good day,” he mocked. “I’m sure.” If he could feel her emotions the way Myron did at this moment, Carlton Demi would know that her eyes were not just watching him go, but practically burning holes in his back.

  “I know, I know,” Myron said.

  “One day that man’s going to get his come-uppance.”

  “Maybe he already has. Maybe that’s what he’s angry about.”

  “If only everyone could be as nice as your wife.”
r />   “Yeah,” Myron agreed, “If only.”

  8

  “Dinner?” she said, “You sure you can afford it; after the trip I mean?”

  “Yes, I’m sure I can afford to take my wife and kids out to dinner for one night. Besides, there’s still a little money left over, and we’re talking about Red Lobster, not Le Che’ Bistro, or whatever.”

  “Okay,” Donna agreed.

  “And thanks again for bringing me lunch today.”

  “Is that what this is about? You think you owe me dinner because I brought you lunch?”

  “You know me better than that. I owe you dinner, and so many other things honey, because you’re you.”

  “Aww.” She kissed him, intimately now, because the kids were in their rooms.

  “You do that again, and I may just have to stay in.”

  “All right. I’ll go get the kids.”

  9

  After Carlton Demi, dinner was almost as magical as vacation was. He looked at Donna across the table, and it amazed him how he was still in awe of her. He saw her as if she were an angel.

  “Honey,” Donna said, “Whatcha thinking?”

  He loved that smile. “Nothing, just how nice this is.”

  “Yeah,” she said.

  She would never understand that although he felt comfortable with her and his heart didn’t beat as fast as it did for her anymore, he could still get butterflies when she walked in a room.

  “Hey Daddy,” Karen said, “Can I get shrimp and lobster?”

  “Sure sweetie, whatever you want.”

  “Um, Myron?” Donna warned.

  “Don’t worry.” He pointed at the menu. “It’s a platter.”

  She nodded. “Tyler, Jesse? Do you know what you want to eat

  yet?”

  “Pizza!” Jesse said.

  “This is seafood kiddo. Maybe they have a kid’s Mac and cheese.”

  “I want fried shrimp,” Tyler said.

  Ha ha, of course he did. Tyler always got the fried shrimp. Not that they went to Red Lobster that often.

  “I’m going to check our messages while you guys decide,” Donna said, “I know what I want.”