Another Dark Day
Page 2
“Oh,I…”Alexstaredatthedoorclearlylabeledthree-thirtyone.Thewallnexttothedoorhadanumberofglasspaneswith curtainsblockingtheview oftheoutsidelobby.Hiseyesfixedon thehandle;hisbreathacceleratedandhisheartratespiked.
“MisterLangley?”MadisontriedtogetAlex’sattention.She’d seenthisanumberoftimesinthepast,butthatnevermadeit easier.“Excuseme,MisterLangley?”Alexdidn’tbreakhisfocus.
“DoIwanttogointhere,Madison?”Hisquestionwasn’tthat ofapatient’sfamilymember,itwaspersonal.“Please,justtellme that,whenIgointhere,theimageofmyinjureddaughterwon’t beburnedintomymind.”
“Ican’t,Alex.”Madisonshookherhead.“Ireallycan’ttellyou that.IwishIcould,butIcan’t.”
“TellmewhatIshouldbepreparingfor.”Alex’svoicewas unwavering. “Alex,I’vedonethisforanumberofyearsandI’veneverbeen abletofigurewhattosaytoaparentwhentheirchildisina criticalst–”
“Objectively.Iwantyoutotellmeasapersontellinganother person.PretendI’m anotherdoctor,orpretendyou’redictatinga report.”Alexturnedhisheadtoher.“Iwantyoutotellmeexactly whatIshouldpreparemyselffor.”Hisstatementwaslessofa requestandmoreofademand.Shethoughtaboutwhathewas sayingforamomentandattemptedtocreateananswer.
“OK.”Shepulledthechartinfrontofher.“Yourdaught–” “No.”Alexshookhishead.“Byname.Likeareport.”She lookedathim withaslightsenseofconfusion. “CiaraLangley,twelveyearsofage…”Madisonpausedto gaugewhetherornotthisiswhatAlexwantedfrom her.Hedidn’t objecttowhatshewassaying.“CiaraLangley,twelveyearsofage, wasinvolvedinasinglecarcollisionataroundsevenfifteenthis morning.Shewasinthefrontpassengerseatofhermother’s sedanwhenthevehiclewentofftheroad.Whenemergency servicesfoundher,shewasunconsciousandunresponsive.Her breathingandheartratewereslowedandshehadlosta significantamountofbloodduetoasevereleginjurycausedby thecrash.Itappearedthattheframeofthepassengerdoorbent inwardandpinnedherlegtothebaseofthevehicle.”
“Theleginjury,how permanentisthedamage?”Alexdidn’t lookatMadisonasheaskedhisquestion. “Thedamageisirreversible.Theboneswithinherlowerleg andfootwerecompletelydestroyed.”Madisonsighed.“Tobe blunt,themetalcrushedherlegentirely.Skin,bone,muscles;all ofitwasdamaged.Wearesettoamputatenow thatyou’rehere andhaveauthorized.Ifwedon’t…”Sheshookherhead.“Thereis nosituationwherewedon’t,Alex.”
“Iunderstand.Iapproveofyourdecisiontodosoandwillsign anydocumentsayingsuch.”Alex’swordswerecoldanddirect. “Arethereanyfurtherinjuries?”
“Anumberofbruisesandlacerations.Overall,therearen’tany injuriesthataresubstantiallikeherleg.Wehavekepther unconsciousforthetimebeing.You’reconsentisallweneeded forthesurgery.Withthatwewillmoveherintotheoperating room immediately.”
“Alright.”Alexnodded.“Callthesurgeontoprepandmoveher inimmediately.Idon’twanttowalkintheretoseeherandwaste anytime.”HelookedovertoMadison.“I’llwaitinthelobbydown thehall.”Madisonagreedandpulledherradiouptohermouth.
“DoctorArlen.”Shespokeintothedevice.Avoiceresponded immediately.“Room three-three-one,CiaraLangley.Wehave consenttooperateandarerequestingimmediateresponse.The patientwillbecomingyourwayimmediately,over.”Withthat, Alexwalkedawayandstoppedtositinthelobby.Thechairhe chosewasn’tcomfortable,theroom hadasmellthatAlexcouldn’t describe,anditwaswaytooquietforAlex’sliking;butitwasall hehadforthemoment.Tobetoldthathisdaughterwasinjured inamannerthatwassopermanentatsuchayoungagewas somethinghehadneveranticipated.Despitethehorriblethings he’ddoneinhislifeanddespitewhathehaddonetohurtthose heloved,nothingdeservedthispunishment.Ifanyoneshouldbe headingintosurgeryandseverelyinjured,itwashim.Ciarawas avictim ofhismistakes.Heknew thathisbeingfaithlessinhis marriagehadhurtherasmuchasithadHolly.
“Wait…”Alex’seyesliftedfrom thecarpetuptothewall.“… Holly.”ItwasatthistimeherealizedthatMadisonhadonly discussedthestatusofCiara.WhileCiarawasachildand, becauseofthat,ahigherpriority,therewasnomentionofhis wifeorhercondition.Hestoodupfrom hischairandstepped towardthenurse’sstationinthemiddleofthefloor.“Excuseme.” Hewavedatoneofthenursessittingatthedesk.
“Yes,sir?How canIhelpyou?”Sheshinedacheerysmileat Alex.
“CouldyoucallMadisonforme?”
“Madison?DoyoumeandoctorRafferty?”Herbrightsmile
continuedreflectingatAlex.
“Yeah;doctorRafferty!Couldyoupleasecallherforme?Tell
herAlexLangleyisneedingtospeakwithher.”Alexmotionedto thenurseasagestureofthanksandwalkedaway,stoppingat themiddleofthefloorandlookingaround.Hiseyesmetwith everynumberoneverydooraroundhim ashetriedtofigureout thesituation.WherewasHolly?Didanythinghesignedmention hernameatall?
“MisterLangley!”Madisonrushedtowardhim from oneofthe hallways.“Iwastoldthatyouwereneedingtotalkwithme?”
“Madison,where’smywife?”Alex’swordsweredirectandto thepoint.Madisonstaredathim insilenceforseveralmoments; herfacefellintoapainfulfrownasshetookadeepbreathin.
“Alex,Ithought–”
“Whatroom isshein,Madison?Youdidn’ttellmewhatroom shewasinwhenIgothere.”Alexcutheroffinhopesthather responsewasn’tgoingtobewhathe’dexpected.Hewantedherto tellheranumberandthatshewasstable;that’sallhewas hopingforhertosay.“HollyElizabethLangley,shehasthesame colorhairasCiara,aroundshoulderlength.She’saboutthe sameheightasyou.Youmighthaveherinthesystem asHolly Dwyer,whichwashermaidenname.”
“Alex,she’snot–” “No.Ijustwantyoutotellmetheroom numbersoIcantalk withher.”Alex’sdemeanorwasstartingtoshiftfrom seriousto panicked.“WeneedtotalkaboutCiara’sinjuriesandIneedtolet herknow aboutthesurgery.”
“MisterLangley!”Madisonincreasedhervolumetostophis ramblings.Shepausedforamomentashepausedhisspeaking. Sheputherhandonhisshoulderandlookedhim straightinthe eyes.“Alex…”Shecouldseehiseyesturningredasthetruthhit him.Sheknew thathewasawareofwhathadhappenedatthis point;denialalwayscamefirst.“Ithoughtwhathappenedto Hollywasalreadyexplainedtoyou.IfIhadknownthatyou weren’ttold,Iwouldhavediscusseditallwithyouassoonwegot Ciaraintotheoperatingroom.I’m sosorry.”
“No…”Alexshookhisheadashisneckwentlimp.“No,Ican’t believeit.”
“Shewasn’tresponsiveatthescene.Theemergencycrewsdid everythingtheycould,butshewasgonebythetimethe ambulancegottothehospital.”Madison’sstatementwassharp asitcutintoAlex’sears.“I’m sosorry,Alex.”Madisonremoved herarm from hisshoulderandstoodstraightinfrontofhim. She’dseenanumberofpeoplebreakdown;she’ddealtwith deathanumberoftimes,asadoctorit’ssomethingyouseedaily. Alexwasnotdifferent.Shecouldonlyimaginethatthiswasthe worstpossiblewaytostarthisday.
Alexstaredattheglassontheoutsideoftheroom,justtothe rightofthedoor.He’dstaredinthewindow afew times,butit neverseemedtogeteasierforhim.Italmostseemedlikeithad gottenmoredifficultwitheverydaythatpassed.Theprevious fourdays,thefourhe’dbeenspendingatthehospitalsincehe gotthephonecallthathiswifeanddaughterhadbeeninan accident.Thatphonecall,thephonecallthathadonlybeena coupleofminuteslong,wasenoughtochangeeverythingforhis daughter,andchangeeverythingforhim aswell.
ThemusicplayinginthelobbywastheonlysoundthatAlex wasabletofocuson;hiseyesfixedonthewindow.Hesatinthe uncomfortablechairandwaited.Secondspassedawayinto minutes.Despitebeinganimpatientman,waitingwasallhe coulddo.Thesoftpianodancingthroughtheoverheadspeaker, thecolonofthedigitalclockseparatingthehours,minutesand seconds,blinkedrhythmicallyasthesecondsclimbeduptoward sixty.Itflashedtofifty-nine,thenfellbacktozeroasthenumber fortheminutegainedone,reachingnineteen.Allofthiswas enoughtodriveAlexinsane,buthemaintainedhiscomposure. Hewantedtostandup,walktotheexit,andleavethehospital forever.Hewantedtonevercomebacktothisplace.Despitethe wellpaintedhalls,thedecorativecarpet,thegrowingplantsthat linedtheentrypathtothehospital.Despitethefactthatevery aspectofthehospitalwasdesignedwiththeutmostprecisionto createacomfortingatmosphere;nothingwascomforting.Alex neverunderstoodhospitals.Therewasalwayssomethingabout them thathadmadehim uncomfortable.Heknew peoplethat lookedathospitalsasasignofhopeandhe’devenknownpeople thatlovedgoingtothehospital.He,ontheotherhand,hated them morethananythingelse;therewasnoredemptionpossible.
“Comeon… comeon…”Alexwasbeginningtogrow impatient. He’dbeenstaringatthewindow totheroom forwhatfeltlikean eternity,eventhoughtheclockwasindicatingthatithadonly beentwentyminutesorso.Heremainedseatedandstaredunti
l thedoorstartedtopullopen.Assoonasthenursehadstarted openingthedoor,Alexstoodupandquicklysteppedtowardthe entrance.“Hey,how isshe?”
“She’sdoingbetter,consideringhercondition.”Thenurse pushedthecartalittlefurtherawayfrom thedoor.“She’s responsiveandseemstobefullyawareofeverythinggoingon.”
“So,canI…” “Yes,youcangoinandtalktoher.”Herwordswereexactly whatAlexneeded.Fourdays.Ithadbeenafullfourdayssince he’dlastspokentohisdaughter.She’dbeeninandoutofthe operatingroom andhadbeenunderheavymedicalscrutiny.Alex was,unfortunately,nothingmorethanthepersonthattheykept comingtosohecouldsignpaperworkandprovideinformation. Despitethefactthathe’dbeenshutoutofeverythingoccurring, he’dbeeninthewaitingroom everyday.Thefactthatthosewords cameoutofhermouthinsteadofthealternativesmeantev–“As soonasMadisoncomesandchecksherout.SheneedstoOKher forvisitors.”
“Oh…”Ifhehadn’talreadybeenwaiting,hewould’vebeen quiteangry.“Alright,well…”Alexsighedagain.“…Pleasetell Madisonthatsheneedstocomefindmeassoonasshe’sdone, soundgood?”
“Yes,Sir.”Thenursesmiledathim andpulledasmallradio uptoherface.“DoctorRafferty,Ciaraisreadyforyou.Also,Mr. Langleywouldliketospeakwithyouwhenyou’refinished.”
“Thankyou,Kara.”Madison’svoicepoppedoutofthespeaker. Alextookthisandwalkedaway.How manytimesoverthepast weekhadhebeenpartoftheradiotalksbetweenthemedical professionals?He’dspentsomuchtimewaitingandwanted nothingmorethantojustseehisdaughter.Hisbodyturnedand hesteppedbackintothewaitingroom tosit.Onceagainhegotto stareatthecarpetandwallsastimepassed.Heleanedbackin theseatanddecidedhewasgoingtostareattheceilinginstead. Thetileswerewhite.Thatwasprettymuchalltherewastoit…
“Alex?”AsweetvoicerangthroughtheairtowardAlex;he noticed,butitwasn’tenoughtobreakhisconcentrationon countingthetiles.“AlexanderBrentLangley!”Hesnappedbackto realityandlookedaround,afamiliarfigurewaswalkingtoward him from theothersideofthewaitingarea.“Ithoughtthatwas youoverthere!”
“Aria!”Alexsmiledforwhatfeltlikethefirsttimeinforever. “Hey!How areyoudoing?”Herealizedthat,ifshewasinthe hospitalitprobablywasn’tappropriatetoaskhow shewasdoing. Thiswasespeciallytrueconsideringtheywereonthefloorfor intensivecare.
“I’m,uh…”ShenoddedasshesatdownintheseatbyAlex. “…yeah.I’m doingOK,Iguess.”Hecouldtellthatsherealized how inappropriatethequestionwas.“How aboutyou?You’rein theintensivecareareaofahospital;what’sgoingon?Did somethinghappentoHollyorCiara?”
“Well…”Alexsignedandstraightenedhimself.“Mywifeand daughterwereinabadcaraccidentafew daysago.Ciarais currentlybeingcheckedoutbyDoctorRaffertytoseehow she’s doing.Hopefully,whenMadisonisdone,I’llbeallowedtogoin andactuallytalktoher.Ihaven’tbeenabletoseehersinceshe wascheckedin.”
“Ohmygod…”Arialookedshocked.“CanIaskhow baditis?” “Whentheygotherfrom thewreck,herrightlegwaspinned bythedash.Itwasdamagedbeyondrepair,sotheyhadto amputate.”Alexpaused.Afterasecondheleanedforwardagain andshookhishead.“From whatI’vegathered,she’sdoingwell consideringwhatshe’sgonethrough.She’sbeeninandoutof theoperatingroom and,likeIsaid,Ihaven’tseenhersinceshe gothere;butI’m optimistic.”Hesmiledather.Theconversation wasalittleawkward,butitwasnicetotalktosomeonethat wasn’tamedicalprofessional.“How aboutyou?Didsomething happentoMitchell?”
“No,notMitchell.”Ariaturnedandlookedatthedoordown thehall.“It’sactuallymymother.”Aria’sstrongvoicefaltered.“A coupledaysagoshecalledme,sayingthatshewasfeelingdizzy andthatherearswereringing.Iwentovertoherhousetocheck onherandwhenIgotthereIfoundherlyingonthelivingroom floor.Iraninandtriedtohelpherupbutshesaidshewas havingtroublemovingherarmsandlegs,andthatshecouldn’t seestraight.Igotheronthecouchandcalledanambulance. Apparently,shehadahypertensivecrisisandithadledtoa stroke.So,yeah,thingsaren’tlookinggoodforher,but…”She smirkedatAlex.“I’m optimistic.”Hersmirkfadedslightlyandshe lookeddown.“YousaidthatCiaraishereandbeingcaredfor; whataboutHolly?Didshenotgetseriouslyinjuredinthe accident?”
“No,she…”Alexstaredoffatthecarpetagain.Hisvision blurredashiseyesremainedemotionless.“Shedidn’tmakeit.” Hetriedtomaintainhiscomposure;itwasbestthatheremain vagueintellingherwhathappened.Therewasnoreasonforhim toputherthroughthedetails.“Yeah,shediedinthecrash.”
“Iam sosorry,Alex.”ArialeanedforwardandhuggedAlex.It wasunexpected,butitfeltnicetohavesomeonecare;he returnedthegesture.“Iknow youtwohadproblems,butthis….” Ariapulledaway.“Noonedeservesthis.”
“Aria,wholetyououtofyourcell?”Madisonsteppedforward andputherhandonAria’sshoulder.“I’m sorry,Mr.Langley.I’ll callupthementalhealthwardandhavethistroublemakerput rightbackwhereshebelongs.”
“Youtwoknow eachother?”Alexlaughed.“Smallworld…” “Yeah,she’smymother’sdoctor.”AriagrimacedatMadison. “Wealsowenttocollegetogether.Shewassupposedtogoinon mybakerywithmebut,youknow,shedecidedthathelpingsick peoplewasmoreimportantthancake.”
“I’m nouseinthekitchen,Aria.”Madisonchuckled.“I couldn’ttellthedifferencebetweenaneggandabanana.”
“Wow,that’sprettyterrible.”WhileAlexwasappreciatingthe humorousconversation,hewasmoreinterestedinhisdaughter’s well-being.“How’sCiara?”
“Letmetellyou,Alex,yourdaughterisonehellofafighter. She’sgoingtobeoneofthetoughestwomenofthetwenty-first century.”Madisonstoodupwithherhandonherhip.“I’venever seenatwelveyearoldgirlmentallyrecoversoquick.”
“So,canIgoandtalktoher?”Alexproddedonemoretime. “Absolutely.”Madisonsmiled.
“Thanks.”Alexstoodup.“Itwasgoodtoseeyou,Aria.
Hopefullywecancatchupsometimesoon.I’dlovetotakeyou andMitchelloutafterallthisisdone,ifyou’dletme.” “Sure,thereareplentyofreallyexpensivesteakhousesinthe areathatwe’vebeenwantingtotry.”Ariasmirked.“Gotakecare ofyourdaughter.”Shewavedhim away.Withthisgesture,Alex stoodupandwalkedawayfrom thetwowomenastheycontinued talkingaboutvarioustopics.
Alexstoodinfrontofthedoorandpaused;wasitasbadashe wasexpecting?Madisonsaidshewasdoingwellconsideringthe recenthappeningsbut,allthingsconsidered,whatdid‘doing well’actuallymean?Thethoughtsandpossibilitiessuffocated Alexashishandrestedonthedoorhandle.Hisheartpoundedin hisheadandhisbreathingbecameshallow.Therewereseveral secondsbetweenhisinitialthoughtandhisreturntothecurrent pointintime.Ithadbeenfourdays,heneededtoseehis daughter.Herstateandappearancedidn’tmatter.Heshovedthe dooropen,enteringtheroom,andcloseditslowlybehindhim.
“Hey,Ciara?”Alexcreptawayfrom thedoorframeslowly. Restingonlyafew feetfrom him washisdaughter.Thedarkhairedgirlwaslyingstillinthebedwithanetworkofwires, tubes,andvariousotherinstrumentstravelingfrom herto seeminglyrandom machines.Theroom wasfilledwithclicking, whirringandbeepingasthemedicaltechnologyalldidwhatthey weredesignedtodo.Despitetheappearanceofeverythingelse, thegirlinthebedlookedpeaceful,comfortableeven.“Ciara, sweetheart?”Alexattemptedtogetherattentionagain.Hepulled thesmallchairoverfrom thesideoftheroom andsatnexttothe bed.Heplacedhishandonanopenspotofherarm andgavea slightsqueeze.Hereyesopenedslightlyasherheadturnedto lookathim.“Hey,Ciara…”
“Dad?”Ciara’svoicewassoftandhadaconfusedinflection. “Whendidyougethere?”
“Ijustwalkedin,sweetheart.”Alexsmiled.“How areyou feeling?” “Tobehonest,confusedandalittledizzy.”Ciarashookher headandopenedhereyeswide.“Am Ionpainmedication?”Alex chuckledatherquestion.
“I’m goingtoguessthat,yes,youare.”Heshookhishead. “How wouldyouknow whatpainmedswouldfeellike?Isthere somethingyouneedtotellme?”
“No.”Ciarasighed,Alexassumeditwaslessinfrustrationand moreherjusttryingtoclearherhead.“Irememberthisfeeling from whenIbrokemywristacoupleyearsago.”
“I’dforgottenaboutthat.Youwereonsomeprettystrongstuff whenthathappened.”Alexlaughedquietlyagain.“Minusthe sedatedfeeling,how areyoudoing?”
“I’m hungry.”CiaraturnedherheadtolookatAlex.“Whenare wegoinghome?” “Ireallydon’tknow.”Alexmaintainedhiseyecontact.He wantedtocry.Hewantedtoscream attheworldfordoingthisto hisdaughter.Shewastwelveyearsoldandshedidn’tdeserve this.Ifanyoneouttheredeservedtobeinjuredandmangledina caraccident,itwashim.He’ddonesomuchwrong,hurtsomany people,destroyedsomanylives;yetshewastheonelyinginthe hospitalbedaskingwhenshecouldgohome.Whathadshedone todeserveth
is?Washerbeinginjuredhisatonement?How was thatafairexchangeforeverythingwronghe’ddone?Heshook thisfeelingoff;heneededtomakesuresheunderstood everythingthathadhappened.“So,Ciara…”Hetookadeep breathashementallypreparedfortherestoftheconversation. “Doyouknow whyyou’rehere?”
“I’m guessingithassomethingtodowithmyleg.”Ciara lookeddown.“Whathappened?How didIlosemyleg,dad?”Her sedationwasstartingtowearoff;hertonewasoneofrealization.
“Well,let’sstartwithwhatyouremember.”Thelesshehadto tellherthebetter.“What’sthelastthingthatyoucanremember happening?”Withthisquestion,Ciarasatupslightly.Sheshifted herglassesbackupandstaredatthewall.Thewhiteboardthat wasinfrontofherdetailedacouplethings,specificallythather doctorwasDoctorRafferty,hernursesnamewasKara,lunchfor thatdaywasgoingtobegrilledchickenwithgreenbeans,anda few otherdetailsthatdidn’tseem important.Afterreadingitover acoupleoftimes,shelookedbacktoAlex.
“Mom.”Onewordfelloutofhermouthandshewentbackto beingsilentforafew seconds.“Shewastakingmetoschool becauseyouweren’tthere.Youleftthenightbeforeafterthetwo ofyouhadafight.Shesaidthat,sinceyouwereacheating bastard,shewasgoingtotakemetoschool.”
“Yeah,thatsoundslikesomethingshewould’vesaid…”Alex shookhishead.“Goon…” “Irememberaskingifyouweregoingtobecominghomethis timeandshesaiditdidn’tmatter.Shesaidthatyouweregoingto regrethurtingus?”Shesoundedconfusedassheremembered thisdetail.“Ithoughtthatwasstrange,butIshruggeditoffand atemytoast.ThenIgrabbedmybackpackandwegotinthecar. Doyouknow wheremycellphoneis?”Shebecomedistractedwith thisthought.
“Uh…”Alexlookedaroundtheroom,therewasanobvious absenceofpersonalbelongings.“…no.I’m sorry,Ciara.Ireally don’t.IcanaskDoctorRaffertywheretheyputyourstuffwhen wegetdone.”
“OK.”Sheadjustedherglassesagain.“ThenIremember gettinginthecarandsittinginthedrivewayforaboutten minutes.Iwasaskingmom whyweweren’tgoing,butshekept ignoringmeandtellingmetojustbequiet.Shewasactingreally strange.”Ciarapausedagaintothinkitover.“Thenshetoldme thatshelovedmemorethananything,despitethefactthatIwas partofyou?Shewasreallyoutthere…”Alexhadanumberof wordshewantedtosayaboutHolly,butdecidednow wasn’tthe righttime.“Thenweleft…”Ciarashookherhead.“…now I’m hereandyou’reaskingmequestions.”