Ruse of Love

by Jerri Hines

  “Oh, my goodness. I thought her to be perfectly happy. You said…”

  “That was before…Oh, well, my father wanted her to marry William. It was a good business arrangement, you understand. Now, I believe he wants me married before the whole of Randa’s situation explodes and I have no chance of a well-sought out marriage.”

  Katy fell into an awkward silence. Finally, Rebekah said, “It is a shame for Sumner. To hold against him because of his birth. Don’t you think?”

  Katy shrugged slightly. “It is the way it is, Rebekah. It is not going to change. Randa should have followed her heart. I would have.”

  “Sumner,” Rebekah echoed the name. “I don’t think I have ever met him, but I believe Jonathan mentioned him.”

  She knew he had. If she recalled, Jonathan mentioned some favor he had done the man. What had he said? Caring for a severely injured British soldier, a relative of some sort of Sumner’s. Not that she saw Jonathan often, but when she did he talked of everything except what lay before them. She seemed to have become an obligation to him.

  With the threat of the British breathing down the neck of the rebellion’s heart in the South, Jonathan rarely was in Charles Town. Besides his duties pertaining to the army, a smallpox outbreak demanded his attention because he was immune to the dreaded disease. During that time, Rebekah hadn’t seen her husband. He feared for her, but she feared for them.

  He had not come to her since the attack. Frustration built in her. He insisted they keep up the façade that they weren’t married. He came only to visit when he was in Charles Town, staying with her brothers at what was once her uncle’s residence. But as her strength returned, her spirit did also, along with resilience.

  She turned back to her friend. “Come, let’s talk once more about your upcoming marriage. What do you plan to wear? Do you remember the dress Ian made for me? I believe it is still in the house.”

  “Oh, that was beautiful! Do you think I could?” Katy exclaimed.

  Moments later the two sat engrossed in a discussion of what color best flattered Katy, Rebekah thankful, at least for the moment, for the diversion.

  Nights were the hardest: restless sleep, endless dreams…nightmares. She dreaded the moment she would close her eyes. Voices called to her in the darkness. Her baby’s cries haunted her. Rough hands clawed at her. Pain…sharp, encompassing pain.

  Instead of sleep, she sat on the dressing table stool doing nothing but brushing her hair. Her eyes glazed as they gazed unseeing at the mirror before her. Restless, she stood and walked to the open window. Staring out into the dark of the night, the sound of a carriage startled her. Her gaze caught sight of a lone carriage as it turned in to the street to her home, its inhabitant unknown. But as soon as it stopped, her heart fluttered. The breeze tossed the curtains back at her. Her eyes fixed on her husband walking up the front steps.

  Forgetting all, she raced out of her room and down the stairs with only one intent. Slowing her pace at the last step, she watched Jasper opened the door with a large smile. Jonathan walked in and everything gnawing in her was forgotten.

  He looked remarkably handsome and charming, dressed as he was. A navy waistcoat with beige breeches, a crisp white shirt: he looked immaculate. Every instinct in her wanted to rush over and wrap her arms around him, but something stopped her. Something in his eyes.

  “Rebekah, I’m glad you are up. I feared I would find you sleeping,” he said in a casual manner. He handed his hat and coat to Jasper. He walked to her side. Leaning down, he kissed her cheek. “You look well. Come. I suppose we can talk in the drawing room.”

  “But of course,” she managed. Nervousness gripped her. The dread of bad news broke out of its hold and exploded in her soul.

  He gave her a small smile. Taking her hand, he led her into the room. The moment the door closed, she jerked back her hand. Staring straight into his eyes, she said, “What is wrong? Oh, God, not Eliza!”

  “No, no.” He recoiled slightly. “Why would you think that? I have had no news other than she is happy and content.”

  Her hands clutched her chest. Trying to regain composure, she asked, “What did you expect me to think, Jonathan? I haven’t seen you in months and you enter as if you are coming to a funeral.”

  “I beg your forgiveness, Rebekah. You are right that I bear bad news, but only I have it set for your departure. I hate to inform you in this manner, but I…,” his voice faltered. “It has been hard.”

  “What has been hard?” Rebekah challenged. She withdrew from him and looked him over from head to toe. His sharply brooding scowl was formidable, but his tense frown and rigid jaw strongly hinted at a growing annoyance. “Why are you here, Jonathan? If it was to deliver the news of my departure to Philadelphia, you could have saved yourself the inconvenience and wrote a letter.”

  “You know, I see,” he said with an indomitable gaze on her. “Daniel, I suppose, as I only informed Paul. I wanted only to save you pain and explain the need…”

  “Need…it is all I have understood….”

  Suddenly, she paused. Paul…Paul left Charles Town three days earlier with his militia unit. Her hands went to her hips, checking her gathering ire. “How long have you been back?”

  Her eyes met his. He said nothing, but nothing needed to be said. A wave of anguish washed over her. She released a forlorn sigh. “You are returning from a dinner party.”

  “Rebekah, don’t. It’s not what it seems. A dinner for General Lincoln. I had to attend.”

  “Without your wife. Your wife who sits alone, awaiting her husband to return. No…wait. You don’t want anyone to know we are married. Or yet to know I have a child swept from my arms. You want me sent away. What happened, Jonathan? Why do you hate me so?”

  The words echoed in the room even though whispered from her lips. He gazed at her in silence. She did not look away.

  “I do not hate you, Rebekah. I love you.”

  Rebekah drew breath to speak, looking steadily at him. “I do not feel loved, Jonathan. I don’t believe I have ever felt so unloved in my life.”

  “Then I ask you what you want from me.” His gaze intensified on her. He didn't move. “Everything I have done, I’ve done for you. Tell me. Tell me what you want from me.”

  “I don’t understand you. What I want from you? It is you that has demanded from me. I have done everything you wanted me to do. Is not Eliza in Williamsburg? Am I not here as a walking shadow?”

  “Do you want me to explain the necessity? Do you want the truth?”

  “For God’s sake, yes!” she countered. “Tell me the truth.”

  “The truth…the truth. The truth is the man who tried to kill you lives. Georgie Boy holds a vendetta against my family. If he discovers you are my wife and Eliza my ward, he will kill you. Make no mistake about that. If he links our connection. It is what I hold within me.”

  “But why press me back, Jonathan? If you feel so…if it is safest for Eliza…why do I have to be sent away?”

  “You will be safe. Eliza will be safe and I will have one less worry on me. Why do you want to stay, Rebekah? For what reason?”

  “Do you have to ask?”

  “I want to hear you say it.”

  "What do you want me to say?" Her voice rose higher than she intended.

  "I want you to understand that all has been for the best,” he said somberly.

  "Best!" she cried. Her eyes flamed. "Tell me, why then does my heart feel as if it has been ripped apart? Tell me how to find the strength now to face each day.” Her voice faded as her legs collapsed underneath her. Her face fell into her hands. "No, don't tell me how to feel. I know each day what I must do, what I must face." She swallowed; her tear-stained eyes looked up at him. "It seems alone…I must face all alone."

  "You didn't have to be," he retorted. His anger matched hers. "What do you want me to do, Rebekah? I have done everything I can to see to your safety and Eliza’s. I know it is not what you want. I know that. I feel it. Wha
t you want I can’t give to you now. If you go to Eliza, it will have to be without me.

  “For the life of me, I can't understand your stance. I thought you wanted Eliza safe and happy. I can do nothing else. I will take myself out of your life and hopefully you will be able to find the happiness you are looking for. I will not stop you. Go. Run off with your lover and child.”

  “Rory? You think I want to run off with Rory?” She stood motionless at the utterance. Her eyes bore into him; an unnatural calm swept her. “So that is how it is?"

  “I regret saying it so bluntly,” he said in a less than apologetic tone. “But as you say, it is how it is.”

  My God, he thinks I want Rory! Why would he think so? Words laid on her lips to declare her feelings for him and only him, but pride emerged in her. She strode to the door. Feeling the full chill of his ire, she replied icily, “Then leave.”

  “If it is your wish.” He displayed no astonishment. No anger. He just looked at her. He didn't wait for an answer. He walked past her briskly out the door. Abruptly he turned on his heels, pausing only a moment. "I will arrange your affairs through Peterson. I won't put you out with my presence."

  Stunned, Rebekah stared at the open door. Shock invaded her, snapping her strength. She collapsed to the floor. Clutching her face in her hands, she wept uncontrollably. What had happened? The moment she saw him her heart soared, only to have her world come crashing down around her. Suddenly, she heard footsteps walking toward her.

  “Jon…” The name faded in the air. Her eyes focused on Jasper, who walked toward her.

  To her surprise, he bent down and took her by her shoulders. Standing, she saw him stare at her in a thoughtful manner. As if having decided the best course of action, he nodded slightly to himself.

  “Miss Rebekah,” he said in a drawl. “Mister Ian always told me I was family to him, and he was my family. My only family until you came. Mister Ian loved you and when he died I didn’t know what I was to do. But you took to me also and I to you.

  “I tell this to you because me and you are family, aren’t we, Miss Rebekah?”

  “Yes, Jasper. I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

  He nodded again, looking at her with soulful eyes. “I tell you like I told Mister Ian—can’t live if you feel sorry for yourself. Can’t, Miss Rebekah. You’ve been miserable since you don’t have Eliza. But Miss Rebekah,” he paused as if choking back tears himself, “little Eliza is safe. She don’t need to be here. You don’t need to do anything to bring attention to her neither. If it is not that madman who almost killed ya’, it’s that man who kept you from Mister Ian. Don’t ya’ know that he’s got enemies who wouldn’t think twice about harming your little one?”

  Tears fell down her cheeks; her hand covered her mouth. His words echoed within her.

  “Now, Miss Rebekah, go after Doctor Corbett.”

  Shaking her head to the unexpected words, she uttered under her breath, “I can’t, Jasper. He left me.”

  “He’s a man,” Jasper said firmly. “He’s a man who has come for the last three nights. He’s come to the door and stood without knocking. I watched him the last three nights like I watched him when you were so sick. They said you weren’t going to make it. He willed you to life. He refused to let you go. He loves you.”

  “He thinks…he said…” She couldn’t say the words.

  “I think that Doctor Corbett is scared. I think he’s scared about losing you. Talked himself into it, if you ask me.”

  “Do you think…?”

  Jasper nodded his head and gave her a small push toward the door, still open wide. “Go after him…”

  Jonathan walked past his street without noticing where he had gone. Thoughts rambled in his mind. What had he done! Good God, he left her! As if a knife had plunged into his side, a sharp pain halted his progress. He stopped and leaned against a wrought iron fence. He had never felt so alone.

  What was wrong with him! Every time he had seen Rebekah since he last talked to Black Rory, he couldn’t get the image of her leaving him over that man. Rory’s words echoed in him—not Rebekah’s, but Rory’s. He let jealousy ruin whatever chance he had with Rebekah.

  He was tired…so tired. He was tired of this damn war. If it wasn’t an outbreak of smallpox, it was a wounded enemy soldier he had to treat under the sly. He still didn’t know how the man pulled through. Kept whispering the name of a woman. Said he had to get back to her. Was love that strong?

  God, yes, it was! What a fool he had been. He raised his head, looking back down the street. Yes…he had to get back to her. He ran.

  For a breathless moment, the world stilled. Her heart hammered so violently it hurt. Rebekah saw him running back down the street. Standing on the porch, she cried, “Jonathan!”

  He took the steps two at a time. He reached her and swept her into his arms. He gave her no time for words, but cupped her face. Staring at her as if she would disappear from him if he blinked, his head dipped and his lips touched hers. He kissed her with an overwhelming sensation that encompassed her completely.

  “I love you, Rebekah. Forgive me. Forgive me.” He broke from her lips. “I’m not trying…”

  She reached up and put her finger on his lips. “I know. I know Eliza’s safe. I hurt, but it is not you that has caused that hurt. Jasper told me that I hold my resentment for my daughter’s absence in me, but, Jonathan, I did not mean to hold it against you.” Tears welled in her eyes. Her heart rose to her throat. “My mind tells me that you are right. It is only my heart that pains me. But I need only to come to grips that it matters only she is safe and loved. You have done this for her…and me. I don’t want to lose you, Jonathan. I need you, my darling. I can’t do this without you.”

  “You have me.” He kissed her, sharing their mutual poignant and heartfelt love. He murmured in her ear, “Always.”

  “I want only one thing.” She pulled back far enough to see his eyes. “Promise me that you won’t make me leave you. Don’t send me away to Philadelphia.”

  “You have caught me at a weak moment. I don’t want to send you away. Do you think I want that? I want you safe…”

  “Daniel can get me out if the time comes. Please,” she pleaded. She reached up and caressed his cheek. “Jonathan, I love you. If I can’t go to Eliza, I want only to be close to you.”

  “For you…for the moment. I worry about the British also…”

  “I will take every moment with you that I’m allowed.” She leaned up and kissed him again. Love flowed until her heart ached. “You won’t leave me now. Please tell me you will stay with me tonight.”

  She felt the intensity of his emotions illuminate from his eyes and she savored it. He said, “I want nothing more than to be with you, touch you, and love you. You madden me almost beyond sense. But it is more than this I feel for you. Holding you now, I feel a freedom I haven’t felt in years. As if the remnants of old hurts have been erased. My future lies in my arms. I will never give up on us, Rebekah. This is how it is supposed to be…you and me…together.”

  Lost in each other, Rebekah paid no mind to how she entered back into the house, up the staircase or even how she found herself naked next to Jonathan in bed. He moved her profoundly with his words he spoke from his heart. Her love had only deepened.

  A sudden remembrance came upon her: another time her world collapsed around her. Jonathan had been there also. She wept in his arms over her mother’s death, but it was her mother’s words that resonated in her.

  “He is a good man, Rebekah. It eases me to know you will be cared for…”

  Had her mother known? That she couldn’t answer, but of one thing her mother had known with certainty. Rebekah loved Jonathan.

  Jonathan stirred next to her, turning her to face him. He smiled broadly, reaching over, touching her face. She wrapped her arms around his neck. Whispering softly, she said, “Oh, Jonathan, I love you so. It has always been you and only you."

  THE END

/>   Contact Jerri Hines at:

  www.jerrihine.blogspot.com

  twitter.com/jhines340.com

  Jerri Hines Booklist

  Patriot Secrets, Book One of the Winds of Betrayal Series

  The Judas Kiss, Book One of the Tides of Charleston Series

  The Promise, Book Two of the Tides of Charleston Series

  Another Night Falls, Book Three of the Tides of Charleston Series

  Coming September, 2012

  Carrie James Haynes Booklist

  Whispers of a Legend, Part One- Shadows of the Past- Free!

  Whispers of a Legend, Part Two- The Path Now Turned

  Whispers of a Legend, Part Three- Vision of Destiny

  Whispers of a Legend, Volume I

  Whispers of a Legend, Part Four- Time of the Nuxvenom

  Coming Fall 2012

  Dreamscape, Dream Walker Series

  Colleen Connally Booklist

  Seductive Secrets- Book One of the Secret Lives Series- Free!

  Broken Legacy, Book Two of the Secret Lives Series

  Coming Soon!