Going The Distance

by Artemis Anders

  As for herself, Hannah had resisted Cain when he’d first returned home and asked her what she needed. She hadn’t trusted him, or herself. But she was more than happy with what Cain gave her. She was in a real relationship with a man who made her happy, who liked her for who she was and gave her what she needed. Never had she imagined that a man like him existed, and only a few miles away from her home. When she’d stumbled upon his cabin on that fateful night she’d gotten lost, never did she imagine that the bossy, bearded, people-hating Grizzly Adams with no filter at all would become so important to her.

  And when Hannah reached the top of Spruce Pass, the rain still coming down on her as she took in the 360-degree view of the misty forests and valley below, where her friends waited for her, she realized it.

  She loved Cain.

  She loved him. She didn’t know when she began loving him, but she knew for a fact that she did, and he was the only man she’d ever loved. Like really loved, with her whole body and her whole heart, like he was part of her. Hannah’s eyes filled with tears. But they weren’t tears of fear or sadness or even fatigue. They were tears of joy.

  Hannah took in the view for another long moment, knowing she’d always remember it. When she began to shiver in the cold damp air, she scurried off to the small aid station, where they had portable heaters running.

  “Hannah!”

  Hannah turned to find a bundled-up Jenny standing there, her friend from when she’d volunteered at the Sagebrush 50. “Jenny! Hey!”

  “Good to see you decided to take the plunge,” she said. “You’re looking strong. What can I get you?”

  They chatted for a minute or two as Hannah sipped a small cup of salty broth that Jenny had given her. She had no appetite at all, but knew the broth would warm and refresh her. A few other runners rested nearby, all looking a little ghastly from the altitude. She finished her broth and waved goodbye to Jenny, who wished her luck. It was all downhill for the next several miles. And the sooner she booked it down the pass, the sooner she would see her friends. The sooner she would see Cain.

  She ran with abandon down the trail and toward the valley, making up any lost time from the uphill slog, the joy of running downhill a huge relief. She soared, her well-trained knees absorbing the downhill as she breathed in the smell of damp soil and pine trees. She realized the rain had slowed to a drizzle.

  Suddenly, Hannah slipped on a pile of wet aspen leaves and tumbled to the trail, letting out a string of curses as she did.

  “You alright?” came a voice. It was the guy who’d teased her about laughing. He stopped and offered his hand.

  Hannah took it, standing upright again and taking a quick look to assess the damage. A skinned-up thigh and elbow, with some blood, but nothing to cry over. “Thanks for the hand. I’m okay.” She laughed. “That’s what I get for getting carried away and busting down the hill too fast.”

  They started running again. “Yeah, everything’s slippery from that thundershower. And it doesn’t look like this rain’s gonna let up for a while, so watch your step.”

  Hannah and her new friend stayed together as they ran, both maintaining a brisk but cautious pace. Falling during a race could cause problems, and she didn’t want to risk injuring herself. It took her a while to get back in the groove again, but she did, and it wasn’t long before they approached the Mile 50 aid station. She wished her new friend luck and ran toward her friends, all in rain gear, who’d spotted her and were waving at her. When she saw Cain, she smiled and ran to him first and hugged him.

  Cain held her tight for a moment before he backed away, eyeing her abraded leg with concern. “You take a fall?”

  “Yeah. It was slippery from all that rain.”

  “This storm should pass soon. Let’s get you patched up.” Cain sat Hannah down and began cleaning her wounds. “Everything else good?”

  Hannah briefed him on everything, and he nodded in approval as he finished. “I need to grab a few things and go if I’m going to make it in time to meet you at mile sixty. Be careful over the pass,” he added.

  “Yes, Sergeant.”

  He gave her a quick kiss, waved to everyone, and left.

  Summer came over, her jacket and hood still on. “You’re soaked, you poor thing. That storm was a doozy. I’ve got your change of clothes.”

  “Thanks, Summer.” She went to say hello to Diana and to Jesse, who seemed perfectly content despite the wet weather and the hubbub around him. Hannah began changing into fresh clothing and socks, not worrying about who saw her naked briefly. In that environment, no one cared. “Where’s Ash?” she asked Diana.

  “He’s up there somewhere. You’ll probably see him on your way up.”

  Hannah looked up in surprise. “He’s still going out? In this weather?”

  Diana smiled. “He’s raced these mountains before. Not much stops him.”

  Hannah shook out her windbreaker and put on a dry one. “So you met Cain?”

  “I did! He’s exactly what I pictured. I could totally see him with a full beard and chopping wood.”

  Hannah laughed. “That’s him.”

  Finally, dry clothes on, a warm drink in her stomach, and after getting weighed to ensure she wasn’t too dehydrated, Hannah bid her friends goodbye and headed toward Spruce Pass, round two.

  Now the real race would begin.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  The clouds began to clear as Hannah made her way up Spruce Pass, alternating running with power-hiking when it got too steep. The light in the sky had faded as the day began its descent into night.

  She’d battled the midday sun beating on her, a thundershower drenching her, and chilly winds… now, the fun would really begin as she spent the next nine hours running in utter darkness.

  Suddenly, a bout of dizziness hit her, followed by a wave of nausea.

  No. Anything but nausea.

  Hannah reminded herself that she would soon reach 12,000 feet again, where dizziness and nausea came with the territory, especially when fatigue was beginning to set in. She looked around, taking in her surroundings, trying to be in the moment. But if the first trip up the pass was arduous, this one felt far more so. She felt fatigued and listless, and every step felt like five. The nausea didn’t help.

  Up ahead, she heard a strange sound, one she hadn’t heard all day. The clicking of bike gears and the sound of damp brakes. She looked up to find Asher’s gleaming smile ahead.

  “Ash,” she said, trying to smile back.

  “How’s it going?”

  “I’m okay.” She was too tired to say more.

  “I won’t make you talk up this bitch of a hill. I’m going to pace you over the pass, until Cain can take over. That alright?”

  Hannah nodded. “Thank you. It’s good to see you.”

  “You too, Hannah. How about you give me your pack?”

  Remembering that pacers were allowed to carry your belongings after Mile 50, Hannah took off her hydration pack and handed it to Asher. It was only a couple pounds, but at that point, a couple of pounds felt like forty.

  As Hannah trudged her way up, Ash rode ahead and navigated those switchbacks like they were nothing. Her waning energy began to slump even more, to the point where her favorite escapist fantasy wasn’t Cain pinning her against a tree for some good lovin’, but her lying down on the forest floor and not moving a muscle.

  She could do that right now. She could stop and lie down for a few. God, that would feel good!

  But she knew if she did, she would never want to get back up again. Even Cain would see the futility in that. No, the trick now was to keep going. Keep trudging up the fucking hill that never ended.

  Then it hit her. Another wave of dizziness, then nausea. Even worse this time. It got bad enough that Hannah stepped off the trail and unloaded the contents of her stomach. Tears came to her eyes.

  Great. She was barfing.

  She heard the brakes. Soon, Asher was next to her. “You alright?”

&nb
sp; She nodded.

  “It’s okay,” Asher said, handing her the hydration pack tube. “It’s normal to puke at this point.”

  Hannah nodded absently. She sipped her water and, feeling better, kept going.

  But then it happened again a bit later. This time, Asher handed her something. “Here. It’s ginger. It’ll help.”

  Hannah took the piece of ginger candy, forcing herself to eat it. She’d heard of people taking ginger for nausea, but she’d never tried it. She’d never needed it before.

  By the time they reached the top of Spruce Pass, she’d thrown up two more times. And she felt like shit. Worry began to sink in as she stopped to rest.

  “I don’t feel good,” she said to Asher. “This didn’t happen to me last time.”

  “It’s alright,” Asher said. “Every race is different. You’re making good time and the toughest part of the terrain is done now.”

  Hannah nodded, too nauseated to respond.

  Asher went on. “I sat on top of this hill once, during a bike race, with a sick stomach and a big-ass headache. I know you don’t feel good, but don’t forget to look around. You’ll never be here and now again.”

  Hannah nodded, realizing Asher was right. The light in the sky had faded, casting a purplish glow over the trees and the valley below. She could see a few lights peeking through the trees, sparkling in the twilight.

  Her mountains. Her race.

  And in that moment, she got it. She really felt it, the thing that Cain had been trying to explain to her for a year, that feeling of being in the moment and really experiencing where she was and the amazing thing she was doing.

  Yes, she was tired. So tired that she wanted to lie down more than anything. She was nauseated, her elbow hurt, her feet hurt… and she still had over forty miles to go. But somehow, at that moment, she wanted to be here more than anywhere else on Earth. That thought brought tears to her eyes, and one slipped down her cheek.

  “You alright?” Asher said, seeing her tear.

  She nodded. “I feel like shit, but I’m so fucking happy right now. It doesn’t make any sense.”

  Asher laughed, a joyous laugh that reminded her of Diana, the laugh that seemed so full of life. “It makes perfect sense. You’re finally getting it… the reason you’re doing this. This is why we put ourselves through this.”

  She nodded, wiping away the tear, breathing in the thin air on that quiet, still evening, nothing but the occasional breathing of another racer going by. “Thank you for being here, and for reminding me to take it in. Cain’s been trying to teach me that since I met him.”

  Asher grinned. “He told me. And he’s right.”

  Hannah nodded. “He always is, the bastard.” Asher chuckled at that. “Sorry if I’m not good company.”

  “It’s all good, Hannah. This is your journey. We’re just here to share it with you. But you should probably hit the aid station and grab some soup.”

  The prospect of eating anything made her want to barf even more. She shook her head. “I’m fine. Let’s head down. I’ll take another ginger candy, though.”

  Hannah headed down the pass, Asher close by. Going downhill felt better than going uphill, and the ginger helped her nausea, but it didn’t revive her like she’d hoped it would. Her fatigue still crushed her, and all she could do was put one foot in front of the other as Asher led her to the aid station at Mile 60.

  Cain waited for her, suited up and ready to go. The first thing Hannah did was sit down in Summer’s chair, letting out a sigh as she wondered how the hell she was going to get through another forty miles when she felt this lousy. What was wrong with her?

  “She’s puking,” she overheard Asher tell Cain. “She wouldn’t eat at the pass. The ginger helped a little…”

  “You got more of it?” Cain asked.

  Hannah slipped into a fog, no longer hearing anything but the distant sound of voices and runners shuffling to and fro, preparing for a long night ahead. Cain’s voice snapped her out of her fog.

  “Hannah.”

  She looked up. Cain stood there, a bowl of potato soup in his hand. She scowled at the sight of it, shaking her head.

  “Eat it,” he said, now in full Sergeant mode. “You’re underfed.”

  Hannah rolled her eyes and took the bowl, too tired to argue. She spooned the salty soup into her mouth, forcing it down and wondering how long it would take before she threw it up again. Cain stood there watching, waiting until she ate it all.

  The others watched her too, and soon Hannah became more aware of what was around her. Like the fog had begun to lift.

  “Feeling better yet?” Cain said, his eyebrow arched, his expression making it clear that he knew she felt better and that he was right once more. It was a look she’d seen many times.

  “Yes,” she retorted. “I feel better. You were right. You fucking happy now?”

  Cain laughed. “She’s got her bad attitude back,” he said to the others. “She’s definitely feeling better.”

  Everyone laughed at that, and so did Hannah.

  “Bastard,” she muttered.

  Cain gave her more things to sip on, and Hannah took them without question.

  “Alright, Grace,” he finally said. “Time to get that lazy ass up and take the next leg.”

  Hannah stood up, feeling momentarily dizzy but… better. She waved to everyone and took off into the night, Cain right on her heels.

  The next leg was slightly less miserable than the last, but not by much.

  Hannah was tired. Her energy levels were still in the toilet and she had no clue how she was able to run. Had it been this hard last time? She couldn’t remember. She was too tired to call up any memories, other than vague ones telling her she’d been too busy running on her injured foot last year to notice her fatigue. But even still, this year seemed harder.

  Cain was by her side the whole time, or behind her when the trail got narrow, holding her water and supplement chews. When they headed up a good-sized hill, Hannah’s nausea returned and she threw up again. “Fuck,” she finally said, tears coming to her eyes as she began to despair. “It wasn’t this hard last year. I feel like shit.”

  “It’ll pass,” Cain said, putting his arm around her. “You’re undernourished. We started fixing that with the soup, and we’ll do some more at the next aid station.” He handed her a small snack, along with a ginger candy.

  Hannah took the food, but she didn’t believe his encouraging words. Not this time. Even in her tired state, she could see something in his eyes, something that told her he too was worried.

  “Look around, Grace,” he reminded her, rubbing her back a little. “What do you see?”

  She saw giant trees rise above them. She smelled the delicious odor of conifer trees and fresh mountain air. And she saw Cain, watching her with those big brown eyes she loved so much, giving her all his wisdom and care to make sure she got the most out of this race. The magic hit her again, like it had atop Spruce Pass. But this time it hit her harder, because Cain was with her now. She threw her arms around him.

  Cain held her, and for those few moments, Hannah’s suffering completely disappeared.

  “Now look up at the sky,” Cain said.

  Hannah looked up. There was a clearing ahead, revealing the open sky with its multitude of stars. It reminded her of the time she and Cain camped together for the first time.

  “What are you smiling at?” Cain said.

  Hannah began running again, Cain falling into step next to her. “I was thinking about that time you took me camping, on your four-wheeler. When we lay under the stars.”

  “Huh. I have different memories. I remember those beautiful lips wrapped around my cock.”

  Hannah giggled, shaking her head. “You’re lucky I’m too fucking tired to hit you right now.”

  “Hey, we can sneak off into the forest and go another round. Being on your knees will give you a little rest, and the salt might settle your stomach…”

 
“Pig!” she cried, reaching over and smacking Cain, trying not to laugh but failing miserably.

  Cain laughed. “You need salt, Grace, and if you don’t want soup…”

  She smacked him again. “I can’t believe I let you pace me!”

  Cain was still laughing, and Hannah laughed along with him, again forgetting her fatigue and nausea for a few precious moments. She didn’t mention that she’d thought about that very same sexual scene during her first trek up Spruce Pass, along with many others. She didn’t mention that other thing she’d thought about, either.

  But soon her energy flagged again, what little she had, and the nausea came back. She cursed and moaned, worried about her finish, worried that she’d put herself through all this shit and that she wouldn’t finish. Cain reassured her and kept her going, tolerating her griping but never letting her give in to despondence.

  When they reached the next aid station, Summer, Diana, Asher, and Jesse were there, all offering her soothing words before Sergeant Cain offered up his tough ones. He made her eat more soup, more salt, more everything… and it was all disgusting to her. Then it was time to go.

  It was late, into the wee hours of the morning. Her friends would sleep in shifts, trading off who would be available to greet her later and provide any assistance. Hannah accepted that the remainder of the race would be a death march, a slog of misery.

  Then, at some point late into the night as Cain ran beside her, the fog lifted. The nausea went away and so did the fatigue. Well, not all of it, but now it was a manageable fatigue, rather than the “I want to lie down and die” fatigue she’d suffered through for hours.

  And Cain noticed. “Told you. You were undernourished.”

  Hannah nodded. He was right. Again.

  On they ran, and Hannah began noticing more. The sound of their footsteps on the soft forest floor. The smell of campfire smoke in the distance. The Milky Way streaking across the sky above them. She noticed everything now, perhaps because she was tuned in, or maybe because her mind was too tired to focus on anything more complex. She hadn’t checked her watch in hours, not caring about time, knowing that Cain would speak up if she was getting too close to the cutoff time.