Unmistakable

by Gigi Aceves

  I walk toward the dance floor and stand there nervously, looking at everybody, waiting for my husband to jump out of nowhere. Then, I hear his voice from somewhere telling me….

  “Roxy, you used to be a girl counting how many people loved you. Tonight, I want you to know, and I want you to feel there’s a lot of us loving you, because of you. I cover my face as soon as I hear Michael Buble’s Crazy Love. Then, his warm voice sings to me, and my heart flies like a dove, searching for its mate.

  Uncle Jack walks toward me, and envelopes me with his strong able arms as I cry, not because of pain, but because I’m loved. He passes me to my brother, whose eyes tell me everything I need to know. My mother then, takes me in her arms as she tells me how much she loves me. A couple of minutes later, Brian steals me away, telling me how beautiful I am. Jake swings me and dips me as we did when we were much younger, laughing as he pulls me up. Then, my two best friends sandwich me in their arms, repeating once again, how they’re both happy for me. Next in line, Aunt Patti sway me from side to side, much like how she used to calm me when I was younger. A couple more people dance with me, but I can’t wait to land in the arms of my husband.

  I feel him walking toward me as the last person dancing with me, spins me to face him, wearing the smile that drives my heart crazy, as he sings to me….

  “Yes, I need you in the daytime. Oh, but I need you in the night. Yes, I want to throw my arms around you. Kiss and hug, kiss and hug you tight. And when I’m returning from so far away. You give me some sweet lovin’, brighten up my day. Yes, it makes me righteous, it makes me feel whole. And it makes me mellow, down to my soul. You give me love, love, love, love, crazy love…..”

  At this point, I’m clinging to him, happily drowning in a sea of love given by him to me, yet again. My first experience of love at such a young age burned me…it broke me, but being loved by Cody makes it all worth it. I know how it feels to lose it, but now, more than ever, I know how it feels to finally have it….to be loved in an unmistakable way; my soul feels it.

  God turned all the ugly into something so beautiful, no words can describe it. I silently thank Him for making me feel pain and allowing me to walk through the fire, so I can truly appreciate the love I have right now. The kind of love I’m sure He has for everyone who believes.

  After our dance of love, as my husband puts it, I take a breather. Trish sits next to me with no baby attached to her, as Tami walks toward us holding two champagne glasses; Aunt Patti walking behind her.

  “Where are the quads?”

  “Jake’s with them in the room, Tami. Finally, they’re sleeping.”

  Tami laughs, then takes a sip of her champagne. “Can I borrow Jilly for the night?”

  Trish looks at her as if she’s lost her mind. “You’d have to kill Jake first.”

  My aunt taps Trish’s shoulder. “Where’s Jake?”

  “Putting the kids to sleep. I think, my mom’s with him.”

  “Good, I can kick him out since Jack wants to talk to the boys. Tami, can you tell your dad to hold them longer, please.”

  We laugh at her as we watch her try to walk as fast as she can to be with her grandkids. Tami stands to find where the boys are hiding. Last I saw, they were taking tequila shots while playing a game of horseshoes.

  My eyes land on my mother dancing with a man Uncle Jack’s age, and my heart jumps for joy, knowing she’ll forever be with me to enjoy moments such as this. Jake’s nurse, Ms. Betsy is talking with Summer, who Marco is currently attached to. I wonder if that’s another budding relationship that will give Gunny even more white hair.

  I look at my wedding ring, remembering again, the promise we made to each other, the feelings I felt when saying those vows, and seeing the emotions flow in Cody’s eyes. I’m thankful I finally have the love I’ve always wanted. God willing, our love can survive the challenges of life, armed with our unmistakable love, a heart full of hope, and an unwavering faith that will stand the test of time.

  As I turn the corner, I hear my dad’s voice saying what we’ve been waiting for these past six months. However, it’s not the result we all have been praying for. I’m sure this news will not settle the nerves of Damien and Cody.

  “I didn’t want to tell Roxy today, because I don’t want to ruin her day. Anyway, my contact in the FBI just called me this morning, and he said they’re still looking for Tessa,” my dad says.

  “It’s been six damn months. Someone is protecting her ass, Gunny,” Cody exclaims.

  “Let the feds handle it, Cody. Their guess is she fled to Mexico, and if that’s the case, that’s where she’ll probably stay. She knows once she steps into US soil she’ll get arrested. I’m sure my contact will ring me as soon as the situation changes.”

  “Anything else, dad? My kids need me, like right now.”

  “God, Jake, your mom’s there and your mother-in-law. Give me five minutes.”

  “Dad, I don’t care. Jaelin needs me, Jillian wants me, and Trevor and Tyler know when I’m not there. My angels weren’t feeling too well when I left.” I shake my head, listening to what my brother’s saying, because it sounds absurd….he’s absurd.

  “Since when? Your mom didn’t tell me. I told her to text me as soon as she sees my lovebugs. Er, boys, if you don’t have any questions that’s all I wanted to say. Jake and I are heading out, now.”

  I roll my eyes after that, because my dad is just as crazy about the girls as Jake is. God help my nieces; I don’t think any boy will ever get near them.

  “That’s why I’m not ready for this. My life is so structured, having kids is out of the question,” Damien states, leaving me with my mouth hanging open. Men!

  What shocks me straight to the core of my soul is hearing him say things I never thought he’d be capable of even saying.

  “Me either. I’m not ready for that. I know T’s mentioned babies a couple of times, but…”

  Cody asks, “But what, Brian?”

  I can hear the frustration in Brian’s voice. “But, nothing. I’m not ready, yet, and you know why, Cody. I….I don’t think I’ll ever be ready.”

  “Brian, I’m right there with you, man. I understand the apprehension, but you need to tell Tami how you feel. You can’t, not discuss this with her.”

  “I don’t think she’ll understand. Every time she looks at the quads, it’s as though she’s captivated by them. So, no. That conversation won’t happen anytime soon.”

  That’s all it took for my feet to move. I don’t cry though, my head takes over, and I repeat the mantra ‘it doesn’t matter’ over and over again. I can’t believe I’ve been a willing victim of his false promises and meaningless declarations of love. I clutch my stomach as I walk, accepting the information I just heard with finality. Saying a prayer of thanks that I never again mentioned having kids with him, after being shut down one too many times.

  With the cruel truth engulfing my brain, any ounce of happiness leaves my body. All I want is to crawl under a rock and be alone since that’s what I’ll be from here on out. With my eyes suffering from the tunnel vision of pain, I don’t see Summer approaching me until she pulls my hand.

  “Hey, who should we beat up?”

  “What?” I say coming out of my stupor.

  “You have the look on your face that says you want to pummel someone.”

  I give her a small smile, trying to mask the truth that wants to come out and rat the stupid idiot out. As always, I stay quiet, choosing to deal with my problems on my own…by myself. Alone. I’ve learned to cope and overcome in most situations by myself. Obviously, depending on someone isn’t working out; either that, or it’s not in the stars for me.

  “Nah, I…I just want to call it a night. Get my beauty rest, ya know?”

  “I need a ride to the hotel; stupid Marco left me. Can you give me a lift?”

  Using Summer as an excuse to avoid running into Brian, I quickly agree. After dropping her off, I drive back to the farmhouse, travelling in the d
ark, much as how my heart feels. With only the moon guiding me, a feeling of melancholy hits me hard. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, an SUV rams my side, causing my car to spin as I try my hardest to establish control of it. Instantly, I step on the brakes, which only intensifies the spinning, until the right side of my car hits a tree at full force as my head hits the window; then, the car comes to a complete stop. Holding my head, blinking twice, I see two men wearing black, holding flash lights as they open both doors of my mom’s Mercedes CLS.

  Before I pass out, I clearly hear one person saying, “Ma’am, I’m Secret Service, Special Agent Taylor. Stay still, help is on the way.”

  To my God, thank you for teaching me to be more of you and less of myself. Forgive me for failing and may you bless me with your strength to do your will.

  To My babe, thank you for your unfailing support. I forgive you for always asking “when are you going to bed?” and I hope you forgive me too for being short most of the time.

  To Andrea, thank you for the things you do for me, your dad and your sister. I forgive you when you roll your eyes at me and I hope you forgive me too for doing it behind your back.

  To Allysa, thank you for listening to my ideas no matter how crazy they are. I forgive you for not putting your clothes where they’re supposed to be and complaining after that they’re not washed. I hope you forgive me too because sometimes I purposely hide your favorite ‘jeans’ to teach you a lesson.

  To Angie, thank you for being my shock absorber, my therapist, my spiritual advisor, my sounding board and my friend. I can’t say I ‘forgive you’ but I hope you’ll forgive me for driving you insane sometimes….okay….most days….Fine! All the time.

  To Leslie, thank you for lifting me up, for pushing me when I doubt myself.

  To Heather McNeal, my Gandalf, Wonder Twin, and now my Awesome Cover Designer, thank you for being patient with me but more than anything thank you for understanding how my crazy brain works.

  To my wonderful Betas thank you for being honest. I value everyone’s input and ideas. Thank you for making me work hard for it. I really can’t thank you enough.

  To EVERYONE else who has supported this crazy lady from the bottom of my heart, I THANK YOU. I am truly blessed to be surrounded by people who not only enjoy reading the books I write but getting the meaning behind it.

  “What’s wrong?”

  As soon as she looks at me, I know something is terribly wrong. I, immediately, press the call button, letting the nurse know my wife needs her. I keep my eyes on Trish, while she has hers closed with her lips in an ‘O’, breathing in and out. I reach for my phone to call Brian, telling him I need Tami and Roxy ASAP. Thankfully, my mom and mother-in-law are here already.

  I lace my fingers with my wife’s, needing contact, while the other holds her stomach where my babies are. “Hold on, baby. Eyes on me, Trish.” As soon as her eyes lock on mine, I know she’s in pain, and my heart stops, wanting to take it away; but knowing I can’t. Feeling one of my kids move starts my heart back up, a reminder that today is about them.

  “I love you. Breathe for me, sweetheart,” I give her instructions. She told me I need to constantly remind her.

  A nurse walks in, checks her, and walks out. A couple of seconds later, two nurses come back. One pushes something on her IV port, while the other is prepping Trish to move to the Operating Room. I stand to the side, away from my wife, letting the nurses do their thing while she looks at me for strength. I’m hoping, I’m able to give it when she needs it. I change into the scrubs the nurse gave me, put on the booties and hat. I walk next to my wife, holding her hand to the OR, praying as we go for God to protect my wife and kids.

  As soon as she gets wheeled in, the OR is buzzing with people. I do my quick scan of the room, four baby beds, I do a head count of the nurses, doctors, and seeing our moms calms me down a bit. A couple of minutes later, in walks my sister and Roxy, both giving me smile and a wave.

  Now, I focus on Trish, looking at her brings me to tears, knowing what she’s been through to give me a life full of happiness and absolute completeness. I run my finger on her cheek, trying to get her attention. Of course, I get it; it’s me, after all. I’m her Jake.

  “Hey.”

  I give her my smile, and she takes in a breath of pure contentment. My heart jumps for joy. “Hey, babe.”

  “Are you behaving, Jake?”

  “Of course, I am, babe. I always do.”

  Roxy hears me and moves closer to Trish. “He’s driving everyone crazy. This one nurse forgot to show her badge and almost got kicked out. Can you believe that? Your husband is craazzzyyy, with a capital C!”

  Trish frowns at me, and I can’t help it, I just need to kiss her. So, I do. I give her four small pecks on her lips, plus another one. From here on out, it’s going to be four plus mine. I’m going to teach my kids to love her as I love her.

  “Go to your post!” I tell Roxy, and her response is to stick her tongue out as she tells me I’m crazy.

  Trish’s OB walks in, and over the blue curtain that separates her from us, she smiles and asks if Trish is ready. I’m freaking ready, so I answer for my wife.

  I lean toward her ear. “Here we go, babe. We’ll see our babies soon.”

  Another smile from my wife, which means she gets another kiss.

  Our first baby comes out, and my heart grows bigger with more love in it for…ah there he is! My heart grows bigger for my son…her son…our son.

  I keep my eyes trained on him until he’s placed in his crib. A quick glance to my mom, and she gives me a thumbs up sign. Thank you, God! I turn back to my wife.

  “First son is out, babe. I love you, so much.” I can’t help it, I kiss her again.

  Dr. O’Connor announces the arrival of another baby. Anxiously, I wait, watching her hand over my…oh God, in her hands is my baby girl. I feel Trish squeezing my hand, and I squeeze back; but my eyes are, once again, glued to my daughter. All this time, she’s crying as though someone spanked her. Actually, I do check if someone did. I only peel my eyes off her when Laura gives me a thumbs up sign.

  “Our very loud daughter says hello, mommy.” Watching tears roll out of her eyes, I do what I do best to calm her…of course, I kiss her again.

  The third one out is my other son. A smile spreads across my face as I see his little fist in the air, as if to say ‘I’m here world. Watch out.’ I follow the nurse’s every move until she puts my son gently in his bed, and they start working on him. My attention swings to Roxy when she shrieks and jumps away from the crib. My heart just about falls on the floor, but Roxy, quickly shows me her thumb.

  “Last son is out, babe. You’re doing great. You okay?”

  Another nod and a smile, and she earns yet another kiss from me. From her Jake, and my kids. For the five of them, I’ll be their everything in anything, and in anything, I’ll be their everything.

  A voice clears the fog in my brain. “Alright, say hello to the last of the fantastic four.” Dr. O’Connor hands over my baby girl and a few hands starts working on her. No sounds, nothing, and my brows furrow in worry. I notice she’s moving her hands and legs, and then, I realize my quiet as a mouse princess, is just fine.

  I turn around, giving one hundred percent of my attention to the source of my overwhelming joy. “They’re all fine, babe. You’re amazing, Trish. I love you, so so much, baby.” Peppering her with kisses. “Dr. O’Connor is just cleaning you up, okay? Give me my kisses, please?”

  Puckering her lips, I lower mine, and I make contact. Kissing my wife will never, ever get old. It feels brand new, every single day. Then, I realize, it’s because our love grows, it changes for the better, it gets stronger in time, it matures in its giving, it’s unbreakable in its existence.

  Licking her lips, my wife says, “Check on them, babe.”

  I give her a one nod answer, followed with a kiss. Then, off I go to check up on my two angels and my two caveman. I chuckle silently on that one, because my boys
will be just as I am. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, after all.

  “Mom, sit rep, please.”

  My mom rolls her eyes, but answers me anyway, “He’s absolutely perfect, Jake. He’s not as loud as the other one. He’s so calm and patient, so not like you.”

  Wiping tears away, I say, “He’s the first one out, so he’s my Tyler,” I say this with a smile.

  “He’s ours, Jake. Ours. Why is he Tyler?”

  Shaking my head, I try to ignore my mom’s last comment. Of course, I don’t. “He’s mine, mom. I’ll give you a couple of hours, that’s it. His name means ‘tiler or roof maker’ well, obviously, since he was the first one out, he basically broke the roof.”

  I know it’s Roxy the moment she opened her mouth, “Thank God, he didn’t come out of Trish’s vagina, because then, you’d say your son broke your wife’s vajayjay.”

  Looking at the floor with my hands on my waist, I ask myself why I picked her to begin with. I would have chosen her mom, but Trish loves Roxy; and what Trish wants, she always gets. I shove my camera toward Roxy as I wonder how many times she was dropped as a child.

  “Just give me a sit rep, Roxy?”

  “Ten fingers, ten toes, two eyes, one adorable nose, two perky ears, one head full of light brown hair, the other head just showered the nurse.” She looks at me then asks, “How’s that, sir, for my oral presentation?”

  “What’s his weight?”

  “He’s the biggest of all. He peed on me, too.” The middle age nurse winks at Roxy.

  Smiling, I say, “That’s my, Trevor.”

  Roxy scrunches her brows. “Does Trevor mean, ‘he who pees’?”

  I smile, “No, it means large.”

  “Oh, he’s large alright!”

  “Roxy!”

  Three voices belonging to the three women on guard bellow out, and correct her, and I enjoy watching her flinch slightly. “Okay…okay I can’t help it. This dude’s name means large; hence, the shower he just gave her,” Roxy says as she points at my son’s nurse.