Size Matters

by Stephanie Haefner

  Bryn wanted some things really badly, too, but they seemed pretty trivial now. She had three amazing kids and lots of happiness in her life. Maybe she should take her own advice and chill out. If she was meant to find a man, it would happen. She needed to just relax and not try so hard.

  All she needed to do was convince her horny vagina that it didn’t need a man this instant.

  ELI SAT at the sandwich shop, staring at a half-eaten chicken club and a birthday party invitation with a guitar and multicolored musical notes surrounding it. He’d been pretty shocked when Amelia had handed it to him the day before when he’d picked her up from day camp. Right on the envelope it said Amelia, Austin, and Eli.

  After the way Bryn had ended things, this was a shock. She’d made it sound like he was gum on the bottom of her shoe and wanted nothing more than to scrape him off and be done with him. But now she’d invited him to her house for her kid’s birthday party. Talk about mixed signals.

  He just had to figure out what the hell to do. He couldn’t keep Amelia and Austin from going. They loved Bryn and her kids and it would be wrong to make them miss it. But him? Could he just drop them off and pick them up later on? That didn’t seem like a good idea, either.

  Maybe this was Bryn’s way of apologizing. Maybe she still wanted to be friends. He hated that word now, when it came to describing her. He wanted far more than that. But if he could mend fences as her friend, maybe he still stood a chance.

  For now, he would step back and be the friend she needed. Someday soon he’d be able to move forward again.

  Eli picked up his phone and searched out Bryn’s house number in his recent calls list, knowing he’d most likely get her machine.

  “Hey, Bryn,” he said, keeping it casual and breezy. “Just calling to RSVP for Jax’s birthday party. We’ll all be there. Thanks for inviting us. See you soon.”

  There. Done. Too bad the party was three weeks away. It was going to be a long three weeks not talking to her or seeing her. But if it’s what he had to do, he’d survive. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?

  BRYN GATHERED the kids’ things and herded them out the door and onto her parents’ front porch. “Bye, Mom,” she yelled as she opened the screen door for herself. “Thanks. I’ll see you later.” She was almost home free.

  “Wait, can we talk a sec?”

  And she’d been so good at avoiding all conversation with her mother so far. She didn’t need another upsetting argument right now. She had enough drama going on elsewhere in her life.

  “The kids are already outside.”

  “They’ll be fine. They play out there all the time.”

  She let the door close and stepped back inside. “Okay. What do you want to talk about?”

  “Are you still seeing that man?”

  “What man?”

  She crossed her arms over her chest. “Is there more than just the one?”

  “Eli and I are done. But I have a date with Troy on Saturday.” She sure as hell wasn’t going to mention the online dating thing. That would start a whole new argument. “Happy now?”

  Getting all snotty about it wasn’t the mature thing to do, but Bryn was so done with these conversations.

  “Who is Troy?”

  “I don’t know. A friend of Oliver’s.”

  “You don’t know anything about him but you’re going out on a date with him?”

  “This conversation is over.” Bryn pushed the screen door open again and stepped outside. Her mother followed.

  “You need to be careful. There are a lot of wackos out there.”

  “I can take care of myself, Mom.”

  “With the way you’ve been acting lately, I’m not so sure.”

  Keep walking. Don’t say a word. Ignore her. And for God’s sake, keep those tears inside!

  Bryn pressed the button for the minivan door and it slid open. “Get in, guys. Let’s go home and have dinner.”

  She drove the few blocks home, deciding to focus on how angry she was and not how upsetting her mother’s words had been. Who the hell gave her the right to imply she was stupid and naive? Is that how a mother should act? Bryn would never do that to her children.

  The kids hopped out of the van before Bryn could roll up the windows and turn off the engine. She was going to forget this happened and just enjoy the evening with her kids.

  “I’m hungry.”

  “Me, too.”

  “When’s dinner?”

  She’d barely put both feet inside the house before the kids barraged her with their typical “I’m staaarrrvvving” complaints.

  “Soon. Go wash up and you can help. Pita pizzas tonight.”

  The quick and easy go-to meal was one her kids always scarfed down. Bryn set out the toppings and the kids loaded up their pitas with whatever they wanted. Ten minutes in the oven and dinner was ready. She got them settled at the kitchen table and went back to the stove to fetch her own food. She then noticed the answering machine blinking.

  “Hey, Bryn.” She knew the voice immediately and it caused a ruckus in her gut, tingles and flutters flying all through her body. Eli. “Just calling to RSVP for Jax’s birthday party. We’ll all be there. Thanks for inviting us. See you soon.”

  She’d just talked about him with her mother and felt nothing, but hearing his voice. Oh man. She hadn’t expected to feel this way. It was hard to understand. Did she miss him?

  Her brain shot her all kinds of photos and videos of her time with Eli. There had been a lot of good times. Could she forget the issues he had and how frustrated it made her? This whole dating thing was supposed to be fun, not so damn confusing.

  CHAPTER Fourteen

  THE DOORBELL rang as Bryn was in the middle of loading the dishwasher. Wondering who it could be, she wiped her hands on a towel and went to see. It was Lindsey from next door. “Hi. What are you doing here?”

  Her brows crinkled together. “I’m here to babysit.”

  “Oh shit. Come in.”

  “Did you forget? You just called me this morning.” She giggled in a way only a sixteen-year-old could.

  “I’ve had a lot on my mind lately. Sorry.” If she hadn’t come over, Bryn probably would have forgotten all about the coffee date with Joel.

  “No biggie.”

  Bryn left Lindsey as she walked toward the den, and the second she stepped in, the kids jumped up and ran over, throwing their arms around her. “Lindsey!”

  After changing quickly and running a brush through her hair, Bryn kissed the kids and headed out, driving into the city to one of the cute little coffee shops downtown. She went in and looked around. Joel said he’d be wearing a blue T-shirt and she’d seen his picture, so she sort of knew what he looked like, but, damn, this was harder than she thought it’d be. She felt so stupid standing there like an idiot.

  “Bryn?”

  The voice came from her left and she turned toward it, instantly matching the face to the photo. And yowza. That man should wear blue 24-7. It made his eyes pop.

  “Joel? Hi.” She held out her hand and he shook it. “Nice to meet you.”

  “Likewise.” He smiled at her. “You’re much prettier than your picture.”

  Her cheeks warmed. “Thank you.”

  “I found a quiet seat in the back. Can I get you something to drink?”

  “That’d be nice.” They approached the counter and she ordered her usual caramel latte. She liked the sweet stuff.

  He paid before she could get her wallet out. Not necessary, but it was nice to be treated with such chivalry. “So, how do you like this online dating thing?” he asked when they sat at the table.

  “It’s my first time doing it and you’re the first guy I’ve talked to. I had one other message but he seemed . . .” What was the nicest way to put this? “. . . not my type.”

 
Joel laughed. “Yeah. There are a lot of crazies out there. I’ve gotten quite a few messages, but you’re the first woman who seemed like a good fit for me.” He sipped his coffee. “When did dating get so complicated?”

  “I have no clue. I’ve been out of the dating world for about thirteen years. Actually, now that I think about it, I’ve never actually been in it. I met my husband when I was a teenager. We were the typical high school sweethearts.”

  “Oh yeah? Your profile listed you as widowed. I didn’t want to ask, so don’t feel obligated to talk about him.”

  “It’s okay. He’s part of me, and any guy I meet is going to have to know about him.” She told him a little about Johnny, how tough it had been at first after he died. Joel seemed to understand and was sympathetic.

  “I have a cousin who lost her husband in Iraq. It took her a while, too, but she’s getting married in a few months.”

  “Good for her. There’s hope for me yet.”

  They talked about her kids and their families. He told her about his camping adventures and the woman he almost married. It was one of those awesome first-date conversations that she’d wished could go on through the night. But it was nearing ten o’clock.

  “I really should get home.”

  “Yeah, me, too. It’s supposed to be nice in the morning, but rain in the afternoon. I need to get as many lawns mowed as I can before the skies open up.”

  “Must be tough trying to make a living while battling the elements.”

  “Well, on the upside, rain makes the grass healthier and grow faster, therefore needing more mowing.”

  “And more mowing means more money, I suppose.”

  He nodded. “Bingo.”

  “Gotta love job security.”

  “At least for this summer, anyway.”

  Bryn liked his humor. She liked his manners. She liked the way he listened and the way he spoke—he was smart without being pretentious. Obviously he was a hard worker. No one starts a landscaping business without good work ethic.

  And the body. She’d definitely noticed how tight it looked under that blue tee and nicely fitting jeans. Lifting lawn maintenance equipment all day sure did a body good. The eyes, the smile, the hair. Oh yes. Joel was turning out to be quite the Internet catch.

  “Can I see you again?” he asked as they set their empty cups on the counter.

  “Yeah, I’d like that.”

  “Maybe dinner this time?”

  “Perfect.”

  “Great. I’ll message you and we’ll figure out a day.”

  He held the door for her and she stepped out into the warm summer night, a light breeze blowing. “Good night.”

  The way he said it, so soft and sensual, it sounded seductive. Her libido immediately flashed her a photo of them in bed, his voice in her ears. Such a lovely picture.

  “Good night.”

  Bryn headed toward her van parked in the lot on the side of the café and he headed in the opposite direction. Was this what good dating felt like? If it was, then sign her up for more. No drama, no insecurities. He seemed to be everything she was looking for. She hoped that too-good-to-be-true thing didn’t apply here.

  ONE WONDERFUL thing about having a babysitter come to the house was the joy of having the children asleep when Bryn got home. No bedtime rituals to worry about, no kids whining to stay up later. It was worth every penny she handed over to Lindsey.

  After a shower and with a glass of wine in hand, Bryn booted up the computer and got right into her account on the dating Web site. The little heart in the corner blinked at her. A new message! It could be another great guy wanting to meet her. Bryn opened her in-box.

  “Oh,” she said out loud, not expecting the message to be from Joel. It had barely been an hour since she’d left him. The tiny butterflies in her belly did a few laps.

  I couldn’t wait any longer before messaging you and setting up a date. I really enjoyed meeting you. You’re a breath of fresh air for me. It’s been a long time since I’ve enjoyed talking with a woman like that. When can I see you again? Please tell me I don’t have to wait too long.

  Joel

  Reading that made the butterflies do a few hundred more laps at a million miles an hour. Was this really happening? Bryn’s hands shook as she hit the reply button. But what should she say? This was so much harder than she thought it would be.

  Hi. I had a really great time tonight, too. I can’t give you an exact date right now, though. I have to check with my sitter. Is a weeknight okay?

  Should she say something else? No. That sounded good. She typed her name and hit send. Now she could go drool over Joel’s photos.

  She barely even got a glimpse when she heard a ding! Her instant messenger box popped up.

  OutdoorGuy34: Hi. A weeknight is fine with me.

  SassyLady: Good. I’ll let you know as soon as I can what nights work for me.

  She hit send, hoping he wanted to keep chatting.

  OutdoorGuy34: I wish it could be tomorrow. I can’t stop thinking about you.

  Oh, this guy was completely swoon-worthy. Bryn felt like a kid again. It had been a long time since she’d been so giddy about a boy.

  SassyLady: Me neither. Is it crazy that I feel a major connection so soon?

  Bryn hit send before she really gave it much thought. As she stared at her message, she wondered if she’d gone too far.

  OutdoorGuy34: Not crazy. I feel it, too. I don’t know how I got so lucky. My first time doing online dating and I hit the jackpot. Humor, brains, beauty. I’m pretty damn happy right now.

  SassyLady: I know what you mean. I never expected this online thing to go so well.

  This had to be some crazy beginner’s luck on both their parts. Bryn waited for his next message, impatience growing as her eyes stayed glued to the screen. She chugged some wine. That helped.

  Ding!

  OutdoorGuy34: I can’t stop staring at your photo. You’re gorgeous. How the hell did you have three kids and still have such an amazing body?

  SassyLady: Good genes, I guess.

  OutdoorGuy34: Oh yes. Those were some very good jeans. Ha ha.

  Well, if they were going to start complimenting bodies, she could get in on that action, too.

  SassyLady: You’re not too shabby yourself. All the hard work you do every day shows. I could see some nice muscles under that T-shirt.

  OutdoorGut34: Thanks. The job definitely helps me stay in shape.

  Bryn loved how easily they chatted. She felt as if she’d known him far longer than a few hours and a few emails.

  Her computer dinged again.

  OutdoorGuy34: I’m gonna go out on a limb here, since I feel like we’re on the same page. Stop me if we’re not.

  That message made her heartbeat quicken. But she wasn’t sure if it was for a good reason or bad. She chugged some more wine as she waited for him to continue.

  OutdoorGuy34: What are you wearing right now?

  Shit. Was he trying to cybersex her? That was a whole new thing for Bryn. Yeah, she and Johnny had done a few video chats while he was away that got pretty racy. And a couple of times they’d had some phone sex. But this was different. She barely knew this guy.

  But she liked him. And maybe she might want to sext with him at a later time. Trying to keep it upbeat, she typed her message.

  SassyLady: I think maybe we should save that for when we know each other a little better. LOL.

  OutdoorGuy34: No worries. I had to try. This connection is so strong that I guess I feel like we’ve already been seeing each other for a long time. I really like you.

  This was awesome. He felt it, too. Maybe a tiny description of her pajamas wasn’t too big of a deal.

  CHAPTER Fifteen

  MMM. SLEEPING in always felt so wonderful. Bryn enjoyed the pleasure of waking slo
wly, and recalled her computer time with Joel. It had been a sweet little conversation that had left her delightfully horny, but without the raging libido. She went to bed with pleasant dreams, not needing to pull out one of her toys.

  “Give me that!”

  “No! It’s mine.”

  “Ahhh!”

  “Mommy!”

  So much for serenity. It may be her day off, but there never was a day off from motherhood. When she got to the kitchen, Cammie was in tears and Zach looked possessed; both their hands were on the stethoscope from the toy doctor’s kit, yanking it back and forth.

  “That’s enough.” Bryn took it away. “Now no one gets it.”

  “Look what you did!” Zach yelled.

  “Hey. That is not how we speak to each other. Go sit on the chair until I tell you to get up.”

  He stomped away and Bryn caught Cammie sticking her tongue out as he passed by.

  “And we don’t do that, either. You go sit on the other chair.”

  “But, Mom—”

  “I don’t want to hear it. If you don’t start treating each other with respect, you’re gonna spend a lot of your time being punished.”

  “She started it,” Zach mumbled.

  “Enough. Not another word. Or you’ll sit there longer.”

  They glared at each other from across the kitchen table, but stayed quiet. Ugh. So much for her pleasant start to the day.

  Bryn fetched the mail and found a box outside her door. She sliced it open, filled to the brim with miniature lubes and individually wrapped Day-Glo condoms—favors for the fashion show. She must have accidentally used her home address instead of the shop address when she ordered them.

  She needed to run some errands with the kids anyway, so she may as well drop them off at the shop. After an hour of begging the kids to get dressed and brush their teeth, and bribing them with an afternoon at the park, they finally made it out the door.

  “Aunt Mia!” Cammie ran up to her the second they stepped into the shop and wrapped her little arms around her. “I haven’t seen you in forever.”

  “I know. We’ll have a playdate soon, okay?”