Size Matters

by Stephanie Haefner

  But now that he was starting a new relationship with Bryn, he really wanted to know what he had done wrong in his first marriage. He didn’t want to make the same mistakes.

  He turned to her. “Kris?”

  “Yeah?” She wouldn’t even look at him.

  “Can we have lunch together after the show? I have some things I want to ask you.”

  “Ask me now.”

  “No. This isn’t the place.”

  That made her turn her head. Her eyes narrowed a bit, trying to figure out the nature of his request. “Fine. But I pick where we go and you pay.”

  He hadn’t expected it to be any other way. “Okay.”

  For the next half hour the two exes sat together and watched their little girl dance and sing and deliver lines like she’d been born on Broadway. Eli snuck a peek at Kristen from time to time, and saw a smile he hadn’t seen in years. It reminded him of when he’d met her and how happy they’d once been. Though he no longer loved her, he did want her to be happy. Maybe there was someone out there who could put that smile back on her face and keep it there.

  They hugged and praised their little star and said their good-byes as she headed off to the cast party following the show.

  “Where to?” he asked Kristen as they exited toward the parking lot.

  “Francesca’s.”

  “Of course.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Nothing. I just knew you’d pick it. It’s your favorite.”

  “If you had taken me there more often when we were married, maybe we wouldn’t be divorced now.”

  “I don’t think that would have helped.”

  She huffed. “Well, I think it might have.”

  She got in her car and he headed toward his. Great. This luncheon was off to a wonderful start.

  Fifteen minutes later he pulled into the parking space next to Kristen at Francesca’s, a very expensive Italian bistro on the west side of town. They didn’t speak as they were led to a patio table and handed menus. They only spoke to the waiter when he asked for their drink orders and lunch selections. Finally they were alone after a basket of bread had been laid in front of them.

  “What’s this all about?” she asked.

  “I need to know what I did wrong in our marriage.”

  “We need an entire month to discuss that, not just a lunch.”

  He fought the urge to roll his eyes. “Can we at least cover the top three reasons?”

  She made no attempt to hide her eye roll. “Why?”

  “It’s getting serious with Bryn and I don’t want to make the same mistakes.”

  Her lip curled. “Is that why you brought me here? I’m not going to help you be a better man for some other woman.”

  She stood, but Eli caught her hand before she could walk away. “Please. I want to be happy. And I want that for you, too. Can’t we help each other get there?”

  Maybe she saw sincerity in his eyes. Maybe she was remembering how good they’d once been together. Maybe she wanted to find happiness for herself again. Whatever it was, it made her sit back down.

  “I don’t know if I can even pinpoint one or two things exactly.”

  “Can you try?”

  She breathed deep and let it out, answering him without an attitude for once. “I guess.”

  “When do you think you fell out of love with me?”

  She opened her mouth to speak, but stopped. For a woman who usually had so much to say, it shocked him that she was having difficulty now. “I don’t know. I don’t think there was one moment that changed how I felt. Life just got complicated and we never saw each other. I think I started resenting that you were never home. And before you start, I know you were working to help support our family.”

  For a long time he’d worked all kinds of shifts. It took years to accumulate enough seniority to secure a permanent day-shift gig. “You know I had no control over when I worked.”

  “I do know that. But after a while, it just really got to me. I felt like I wasn’t even married anymore. And when you finally did get day shift, I don’t know, I had my own ways of doing things and you being there just messed with them.”

  “I tried to do things the way you wanted them, but it was never good enough. You always had to have control.”

  “Someone had to.” Her tone changed, the attitude coming back. “You were so lazy all the time.”

  “It looked like I was lazy because I gave up trying to help.” He took a breath, clearing his head. Both of them getting upset was not going to help. “I’m sorry. I thought it would just be better if I stayed out of the way.”

  She must have understood his reasoning. There was no snarky reply to his last statement.

  “So what else?” He was dying to know what had gone wrong in the bedroom. But could he ask her that? Fuck it. This was his only chance to ask these questions. “Why did we stop having sex? Why did you tell me I was”—he lowered his voice—“inadequate?”

  Her cheeks flashed crimson for a brief moment. “I don’t know. I just didn’t want it anymore.”

  “Was I bad at it?” Bryn’s words from a couple of weeks back replayed in his ears, alternating between the insults Kristen had spewed for years. He loved Bryn and was working on changing her opinion. He’d succeeded so far. But he never wanted to go backward. He needed to know what Kristen thought.

  “I don’t know. It just wasn’t enjoyable with you. I don’t think I ever even had an orgasm until after we got divorced.”

  Wow. That was a tough pill to swallow. He had never given his wife of fourteen years an orgasm. “Why didn’t you say something?”

  “I don’t know. We were so young when we got together. I guess I didn’t even know what one was really. Not until I had sex with someone else.”

  “Well, that had to be an eye-opening experience.” He couldn’t help but laugh.

  A smile spread across Kristen’s cheeks. Man, it’d been a long time since he’d made her smile. “Yeah. At first, I thought I was having a seizure.”

  They had a good laugh together as the waiter arrived with their entrées.

  Eli dug into his chicken marsala, suddenly starved. But one last question nagged at his mind. “Why wouldn’t you ever let me go down on you? Or you on me?”

  “You want the truth?” she asked as she sipped her sangria.

  “Of course.”

  “My mother told me it was a disgusting thing to do. Only prostitutes gave blow jobs. And she had me convinced my lady parts tasted like garbage.”

  He laughed and almost choked on his pasta. “Are you serious? Do you still think that?”

  “No.” Her face grew flush again. “I know it’s not true.”

  “So, you’ve got a boyfriend now? Does he give good head?”

  She chugged some more of her drink, cheeks as red as the sangria. A smile played at the corners of her mouth. “Are we seriously discussing this?”

  “Yes, ma’am.” He really felt like they had climbed to a new place, a better place, where they could actually be friends again. “I want you to be with someone who satisfies you.”

  “He does.”

  That’s all he was getting out of her and that was fine. “Good.”

  They ate a few more bites in silence, but then she spoke up again. “So things are serious with Bryn?”

  “Yeah.” He hesitated, wondering if he should go on. “I’m in love.”

  Kristen looked up at him, blinking a few times. “I figured.”

  “Are you okay with that?”

  She just kept staring at him, searching his face for something. Finally she answered. “Yes. I want you to be happy, too.”

  Their conversation moved onto the kids and the play and how proud they were of their little theater star. For the first time in a long, long ti
me, Eli felt positive that he and Kristen were going to be good parents for their children. And maybe they could be good friends to each other, too.

  BRYN, MIA, and Penny spent the afternoon getting the shop organized with all the new merchandise. Bryn fielded at least a dozen phone calls from Gilles. It’s a good thing she had a calm head, because he certainly didn’t. She didn’t dare tell him about the model mishap.

  Oliver arrived and Bryn gave him a huge hug and a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you for saving us. I’ll make sure Mia takes home something real naughty to model for you.”

  “I’ll hold you to that.”

  “I know you will. Let me go get your wardrobe for the show.”

  Logan strolled into the shop. “I see suit boy decided to do the show after all. You missed me, didn’t you?”

  “Regardless of what you think, the world does not revolve around you and your ego.”

  “It’s not ego if it’s the truth. Women love me. And men love me, too.”

  Oliver’s lips morphed into a sly grin. “Well, since my toys sold out the first week, and yours didn’t, I think it’s safe to assume my dick is better.”

  “Oh my God. Are you guys done waving your cocks around? We have work to do.” Bryn didn’t have the energy to deal with the boys and their immature feud spilling over from the original dildo-making venture months ago. They obviously enjoyed mocking each other, but she was thrilled when the makeup and hair team arrived and separated them.

  Once the guys had been powdered and coiffed, Bryn handed Oliver his attire: a bright orange mesh shirt with matching orange briefs, yellow and teal striped shorts, and a bright green lacy bodysuit.

  He inspected each item and held up the bodysuit by one finger. “Is this for Mia?”

  “Nope. It’s for you.”

  “I’m not wearing this.”

  “We gave Logan the thongs. This is what’s left.”

  He turned to Mia, eyes begging to be told he didn’t have to wear it.

  “It’s kinda like a wrestling uniform, right?” Mia said, trying to placate him.

  “No.” Oliver looked so unamused. “But I’ll put it on because you need my help. This is the last time I will ever be mostly naked for the benefit of the store.”

  “And we appreciate it.” Mia lifted up on her tiptoes and kissed him. “Love you.”

  By six thirty, the ladies had expertly applied makeup and big, sexy hair, and the men—with much grumbling from Oliver—had makeup on, too. He drew the line at spray tan, though.

  They packed up their things and headed to the venue. When they walked into Club Paradise, it had been transformed into a retro wonderland. Day-Glo fabrics covered every surface, and neon rope light outlined every curve. The catwalk extended halfway down the huge dance floor, illuminated from beneath with color-changing lights.

  “This is awesome,” Penny said, looking around.

  “You like?” Gilles had come up behind.

  “This is so much more than we planned on,” Bryn said. “You didn’t have to do all this.”

  “I know, but I really wanted it to look fabulous.”

  Being there, seeing the place all done up, Bryn couldn’t wait for it to be filled with people. It was going to be a great party.

  CHAPTER Thirty-two

  ELI ARRIVED at Club Paradise with the four other off-duty police officers he’d asked to help out. They wore street clothes to blend into the growing crowd, though it was proving quite difficult. The majority of guests were women in fancy dresses and heels and men in bright, flamboyant getups. Bryn had been right when she’d said most of the men would be gay. But still. That guy outside the shop the day before had been exactly what he’d been afraid of. He wasn’t taking any chances.

  He gave a few instructions to his men and they fanned out. Eli chatted with the head of security for the club to get an idea of what they already had in place. Between both sets, it seemed like they had the event sufficiently covered.

  He walked around the club once more, spotting a door near the back of the club. He pushed on it, finding it led to the alleyway. He didn’t like this at all. Anyone could use this door. It didn’t even lock from the inside when it closed. He went back into the club, searching for the owner or the head of security. He had to get a lock on that door.

  He spotted the owner. Gilles? Something like that. His suit was covered with glittery multicolored squares, like a gay Rubik’s cube. “Can I talk to you a minute?”

  “Sure, honey. I can give you thirty seconds,” he said, then turned to a waitress, or a waiter—Eli wasn’t really sure if it was a man or a woman. “You. Get on that tray over there. I don’t want to see an empty food tray at all during the night.” He turned his attention back to Eli. “What’s up?”

  “I don’t like that door over there.” He pointed toward the back. “I want it locked.”

  “Oh, honey. That’s not gonna happen. My guys need that door to access the Dumpster. I can’t have them traipsing through the club with trash. And besides, it’s gotta be unlocked. It’s a fire exit. Gotta be up to code.”

  Fuck. The guy was right. “Fine. Then I want someone on that door all night, making sure no one goes in or out that shouldn’t be.”

  “Okay, Mr. Security. Whatever you say.” Gilles flashed a grin and skipped away to tend to someone else calling his name.

  As Eli headed toward backstage, he spotted that guy. Joel. He needed to talk to Penny about him. See what she really knew about her boyfriend, because he was giving Eli some serious psycho vibes.

  Stepping backstage, he searched for Bryn and Penny. And he sure saw Bryn. Almost all of her. She looked sexy as hell, but barely covered. He wanted to beg her not to do the show. His stomach churned, but he slapped on a smile and ignored it.

  “There you are! You look amazing.” He was afraid to kiss her and mess her makeup, so he just pressed a simple peck to her cheek. “Are you all ready?”

  “I think so. I’m super nervous.”

  “There’s nothing to be nervous about.” He hoped he sounded far more convincing that he felt. “You’ll be great.”

  “Thanks.” She leaned in and kissed his cheek.

  “I have a huge red kiss mark on my face, don’t I?”

  “Yep. And it looks adorable.”

  He reached for a tissue and scrubbed as the hairstylist futzed with Bryn’s do, then moved to Mia’s. The guys were there, too, their balls tucked into tiny florescent orange and electric blue spandex underwear, perfect abs oiled up and glistening under mesh shirts. He loved Bryn, but there’s no way in hell she’d get him into something like that.

  Twenty minutes until showtime and Penny finally stepped out from behind the changing screen. Here was his chance to talk to her.

  “Penny, hey. Can I ask you something?”

  “Sure,” she said as the stylist fluffed her curls.

  “Your boyfriend, his name is Joel, right?”

  Her eyes narrowed. “No. I don’t have a boyfriend. My husband is Jack, though he won’t be my husband for much longer.”

  What? “So, you’re not dating someone named Joel?”

  “No, I don’t even know anyone by that name. But, oh, wait a minute. Bryn was kinda seeing a guy named Joel for a bit.”

  Shit. This didn’t sound good. He went over to her. “Are you, or were you, dating some guy named Joel?”

  Her face flushed, pinker than the bright blush she was already wearing. “Um. Kinda. But I’m not anymore.”

  A knife pierced through his chest. He’d never even entertained the thought that it could be Bryn. He knew she’d been dating that Troy guy, but there’d been someone else, too? “Well, he sure thinks you still are.”

  “I stopped talking to him. I even deleted my profile from Forever Mate so he couldn’t contact me anymore.”

  “What? You were dating
online?” He tried to control himself. “Do you know how dangerous that shit is?”

  “I know lots of people who do it, and some have even met their spouses there.” She brushed it off nonchalantly.

  “Yeah, and do you know how many more have restraining orders against men they’ve met there? Or disappeared altogether?”

  “I get it, okay. He got weird, so I broke it off. End of story. You need to let your cop brain rest a little.” She giggled and reapplied her lipstick.

  “This is serious. He’s out there, you know.”

  “At the club? How do you even know what he looks like?”

  “I saw him outside the shop yesterday, practically salivating at the mannequins in the window. And now he’s at the show, thinking you’re his girlfriend.” Eli was worried and pissed at the same time. “How could you do something as stupid as joining an online dating site? And tell the guy where you work?”

  Bryn’s eyes looked as if they’d shoot fire at him if they could. “I am not stupid.”

  “That’s not what I meant.”

  “Oh yes it is. Nothing has changed since yesterday. You still want to control me. You still think I can’t make my own decisions. I told you before, and I’ll say it again. I do what I want.”

  “I love you and I’m trying to protect you.”

  “I don’t need protection!” she yelled.

  Gilles waltzed into the room, oblivious to the shouting match. “Ten minutes till showtime!” And just as quickly, he danced right back out.

  Eli breathed deep before he spoke. “I don’t think you should do the show with him out there.”

  “I don’t care what you think. You need to leave so I can calm myself down and prepare for this.”

  “Fine. I’ll go back in the club.”

  She stepped forward, as tall as him in her crazy high heels, jaw clenched. Her voice had an eeriness to it he’d never heard before. “I don’t want you here. At all.”

  A chill spiked through his veins. “I need to be here in case he tries something.”