Reflection: The Stranger in the Mirror

by Rachel R. Smith

  A voice wove through the silence, melodic and soothing. It reminded her of her mother's voice singing a lullaby to her as a child. Nerissa recognized the melody, but the words sounded muted. Straining to hear better, she lost focus on the beckoning light, and the pain pulled her down into the darkness below. Her eyes fluttered open, flooding her senses with another kind of light and the dream disappeared.

  Nerissa closed her eyes again. She was content to listen to the singing, now clear and sharp like the ringing of tiny bells. When she reopened them, the singing had stopped, and blinding sunlight streamed through a window a few feet over the bed. She felt warm and safe, despite the pain. Tiny rainbows were scattered across the ceiling, fading away and reappearing as the sunlight dimmed and brightened. She looked for her crystal chimes and grew confused when she didn't see them. She felt disoriented. There shouldn’t be a window next to her bed, or a wall, for that matter. Her bed had a scrolling framework and tall poles, not a plain wooden board near her feet. The rainbows didn't come from her crystal chimes because this was not her room.

  "Where am I?" she rasped, her voice thick from weeks of disuse.

  "Oh!" The woman's voice had a musical quality to it, even when she gasped in surprise. "You're awake!"

  She dropped the plate she had been scrubbing back into the soapy basin with a clatter and hastily grabbed a nearby towel to dry her hands. The woman was frail and impossibly thin, with skin whiter than the palest cream, but she moved gracefully and easily across the room. Her hair was tied back at the base of her neck with a simple white ribbon. It shimmered like fine strands of gold and silver in the sunlight as she leaned down to drag a short stool closer to the bed.

  "You are in my home in Darnal. My name is Ildiko,” the woman said.

  "Darnal? I know all of the cities in Chiyo, and I've never heard of such a place," Nerissa said hoarsely. At least, she didn't remember having heard of Darnal before. Her mind still felt too muddled to be certain.

  Ildiko poured water from a carafe into a glass on the small table next to the bed. “Here, have a drink.” She held the cup to Nerissa’s lips until she managed to take a couple of sips. “Darnal is the hidden city of Chiyo. It would hardly be hidden if people knew of it." Ildiko’s tone was utterly serious, but her lips quirked upwards at the corners. The suppressed smile failed to push away the dolor in her large gray eyes.

  "How did I end up in a 'hidden' city I've never even heard of?" Nerissa asked. She reached up to rub her aching temple and found a cloth dressing between her hand and the source of the pain.

  "Now that is a long story—and one best saved for later," Ildiko replied. She gently pulled Nerissa's probing hand away from the wound. "There is someone who will be overjoyed to see you awake. Many people, actually. Before that though, how do you feel?"

  "My mind feels foggy. What has happened to me? How did I get hurt?" Nerissa felt both foolish and a little afraid of having to ask such a question. She should know how she had been injured, but for some reason she could not recall.

  "You don't recall how it happened?" Ildiko’s lips formed into a thin line when Nerissa shook her head. "Well, some time and proper food will clear out that fog. You do remember who you are, right?"

  "Of course." Nerissa scoffed at the thought. How could she not know who she was? Then again, she couldn't remember how she had been hurt, so perhaps it was a fair question. "I am Nerissa, Heiress of Chiyo, daughter of Rica the Blood and Parlen the Bond."

  "If you can remember that mouthful, then you will be just fine," Ildiko said, sounding relieved although her eyes remained sad. Nerissa's introduction was not quite accurate anymore, but now was not the time to tell her that. “Let me make you more comfortable.”

  Ildiko helped Nerissa to lean forward and adjusted the pillows so that she could recline on them in a semi-upright position. "Alright then, I'm going to go get him. Try not to move too much. I will be back in a moment."

  She was already halfway to the door when Nerissa called out to her. "Please wait! I apologize. You obviously know who I am, so surely we have met before, but I can't remember who you are. Are you a doctor?"

  "That is because we have not met before now, but you do know my husband," Ildiko said, smiling kindly as the words danced from her tongue. "As I said before, my name is Ildiko. I am Einar’s wife and a practitioner of medicine. I will return shortly." She bowed with the grace of a swan and then disappeared into the adjoining room.

  Ildiko had said she was a practitioner of medicine, so that explained why she was caring for Nerissa’s injury. Nerissa wondered how she had come to be here though. Why wasn’t she being cared for in the Manor?

  While that thought was still in her mind, Einar burst into the room, several seconds ahead of his wife. He stopped short and stared at her with an unreadable expression, suddenly uncertain of what to do.

  "Einar?" Nerissa's voice was thick with surprise.

  Einar suddenly laughed, hurrying to the stool Ildiko had occupied earlier. He took Nerissa's hand and squeezed it excitedly. Her voice had broken the unseen barrier that held him back and unleashed the torrent of emotions he had restrained for weeks. "You're alright! Well, not exactly...but you're awake, and that's good enough! I don't know what I would have done if you had died t—"

  "Einar!" Ildiko exclaimed before he could finish his sentence. "The poor girl has just come back to her senses, and now you seem to have lost yours."

  Nerissa tried to laugh. The blanks in her mind were discomforting, but seeing a familiar face, no matter how out of place it may be, made her feel somewhat better. "I've never seen the Einar I know act like this. It’s hard to believe that the person in front of me is my all-knowing archery instructor."

  Ildiko winked impishly as she helped Nerissa to drink some more water. "Do you feel up to having some broth or porridge?"

  "Not really. I feel like my stomach is hollow, but maybe food would resolve that," Nerissa said. She poked it experimentally a few times to be sure it hadn't really become that way.

  Ildiko nodded. "I think you're right. Einar, we've run out of rice. Can you give me a hand bringing some up from the cellar?"

  "Of course," he said. He hesitated before letting go of Nerissa's hand, afraid she might not be there when he returned. "We'll be back in a few minutes."

  Nerissa listened intently until their footsteps ceased a few seconds later. They had either gone to another room without opening a door, or they had stopped for some reason. Her mother had used that same maneuver in the past. They must be discussing something she wasn't supposed to hear.

  A suspicion in the back of her mind told her that she already knew what that reason was. There was no other explanation why Einar would have been the first person to see her, instead of her parents. Nerissa eased out of the bed onto wobbly legs and made her way across the room one teetering step at a time. It was of the utmost importance to be quiet, or they would hear her coming long before she could overhear them. Fortunately, she had only to get to the doorway before she could hear their voices clearly.

  "What were you thinking, mentioning her parents right away?" Ildiko scolded in hushed tones.

  "I wasn't thinking. You're right, Ildiko. I realized it as soon as I said it," Einar replied. "She is going to ask about them soon. I'm surprised she doesn't already suspect anything is wrong. Her instincts sometimes make even Raysel's seem dull."

  Ildiko's empathy for the girl was obvious in her voice. "It’s inevitable, but let's not tell her anything for now unless she brings it up first. She needs time for her body to heal. It would be too cruel for her to find out now."

  "It would be even crueler not to tell me and let me imagine all the horrible possibilities instead." Both Einar and Ildiko's expressions were the essence of surprise as their heads swiveled simultaneously toward the doorway where Nerissa now leaned against the frame. "I want you to tell me what is going on, and I'd really appreciate it if you told me everything."

  Nerissa returned to the bed, coaxed bac
k by Einar's assurances that he would tell her exactly what had happened. She was now certain of what he was going to tell her about her parents but found that her eyes were surprisingly dry. Across the room, Ildiko was boiling water to make rice porridge. There was nothing she could do for Nerissa but to help her body heal and provide a comforting shoulder.

  Einar wrung his hands together. It was as if telling Nerissa the news caused him physical pain. "Nerissa, do you remember the masquerade?"

  She thought back, focusing all of her concentration on remembering. Despite her efforts, she could not recall anything that happened after leaving Tao's house the night before the ball. Even those memories seemed fuzzy and distant. "No, I can't remember anything at all about that day."

  After heaving a long sigh, Einar looked her in the eye. His countenance was heavy with sadness. "Casimer attacked the Manor during the masquerade. He used catapults to launch balls of flames at the Manor from a boat docked on the river. You were supposed to have retired to your room for the evening, but you were actually in the gardens when a projectile struck nearby. One of the pillars collapsed on you. That is how you were injured."

  Hearing his description of the events of that night was an eerie feeling. Nerissa recalled her carefully constructed plans in detail. She had formed them weeks ahead of time. Make an appearance at the dance, feign illness and retire early, then return wearing her second costume to enjoy the night in blissful anonymity. She must have followed through, but it seemed that fate had other plans for that night.

  "What about my parents? Were they injured as well? Did some part of the building collapse on them too?" she asked.

  "Nerissa..." The pained look in Einar's eyes as he said her name was an external mirror of the heaviness that Nerissa felt inside. "I don't know a gentle way to say this," he said, folding and refolding his hands in his lap. "They were assassinated by Nils, the Chief of the Senka, and a group of his men. I saw it all.” Einar’s voice wavered, but he continued on. “I was blocked by debris, and there was no way to reach them in time."

  Einar waited for a reaction from Nerissa. He expected more questions, anger, tears, something, but, instead, she responded with stoic silence. There was little else to do but recount the events of that night and try to fill the gaps in her memory. He started by telling her about the Ohanzee and their role as the secret protectors of the Royal Family of Chiyo, and about the Senka, their counterparts in Marise. Then, he described how he had rescued her and brought her to Darnal. The explanation took quite some time, particularly with Ildiko’s insistence on interrupting to make sure Nerissa ate a few bites of the rice porridge she had fixed.

  Nerissa assumed that Einar gave her a thorough explanation of who the Ohanzee were and their role as guardians of her family. In truth, however, his voice had become little more than a distant buzz. The reality of the situation was setting in. Her parents were gone. They were not away on a trip, and they would not be returning. They had been ripped away from her. Chiyo, their legacy, had been ripped away from her as well. Casimer had tried to kill her. Nerissa's mind reeled in pain, in agony, in anger. Conflicting desires to either hide under the blankets or rush out headlong seeking Casimer for revenge welled up inside her.

  "Nerissa?" Einar questioned gently, feeling even more worried than he had before she awakened. The expressionless look on her face was worse than any other reaction. His own guilt made him want her to lash out at him for his failure. She should scream, hit him, get angry, or cry—anything would be better than this silence. "Take some time to heal and think about what you should do next. You are welcome to stay in Darnal as long as you like. Permanently, if that is what you wish. Know that the Ohanzee will be behind you regardless of your decision. If you want to fight, we will go to battle for you. If you would rather remain here in peace, you are welcome to stay in our home." Einar added hesitantly, "There is no shame in choosing peace."

  Nerissa finally broke her silence. "The days of Casimer's rule over Chiyo are numbered, Einar. I will see to that,” she murmured. “Thank you, both of you, for taking me into your home and caring for me." Nerissa hoped she sounded sincere. She really was grateful. It was just difficult right now to show any emotion at all. Einar only nodded before bidding her goodnight. Ildiko shuttered the lone glow lamp and extinguished the candles.

  “I’ll be in to check on you frequently throughout the night,” Ildiko said. “If you need me in the meantime ring the bell next to the bed.” She pulled the door closed quietly behind her, leaving Nerissa alone in the darkness.

  Thoughts raced through Nerissa’s mind as she waited restlessly for sleep to come. Charis had told her that crystals were shattering all over Niamh. She had even seen one of Tao's break right before her eyes. There was no doubt now that this was the change that they had indicated. She wished that she had taken the warning more seriously, but how was she to know back then? Like the crystals, her life and everything she held precious had been shattered into a thousand fragments. She believed she could rely on Einar and Ildiko, but nothing of her previous life remained. Alone in the darkness of a strange new world, she felt the saline sting of unbidden tears as they streamed silently down her cheeks from behind closed eyes.

  Chapter 12

  Spring Flowers

  A few days later, Nerissa sat beneath an oak tree sipping anise flavored tea with Ildiko and Hania. This was the first time she had met the eldest Chief, and she had been surprised by Hania's appearance. Nerissa had imagined that he would be tough and stern, like an aged version of Einar. In actuality, Hania didn't appear very Chief-like at all. Instead, he reminded Nerissa of a child playing dress up. While Hania's face was a map of wrinkles, it seemed that the creases were caused by the varying degrees of his perpetual smile rather than a disapproving frown. Those around his eyes were the most telling. As his smile grew, more and more lines appeared at the corners. Two deep lines ran down from the corners of his mouth, which only added to his childlike manner by making his chin look like that of a talking doll.

  The conversation so far had covered a variety of topics. According to Hania, everyone in Renatus believed she was dead, aside from the three Chiefs and their wives. Casimer would undoubtedly seek her out if he learned she was still alive. Even a hint to the contrary could mean that her friends would be viewed as potential sources of information. Nerissa had a hunch that Casimer would not simply accept their ignorance. The last thing that she wanted was for anyone to be put in danger for her sake. She had requested that Hania and the other Chiefs keep her true identity a secret for now, even among the rest of the Ohanzee. As much as it pained her to do so, it was safer to allow the misconception to persist until she figured out what to do next.

  Having thoroughly addressed the more serious topics, the conversation now drifted to lighter matters.

  "Your roses are growing quite fast this spring," Hania said. Nerissa’s ears perked up at the mention of roses.

  "Yes, at this rate the first buds will open weeks before the summer solstice," Ildiko murmured over the rim of her teacup.

  "Indeed. The spring flowers have been particularly beautiful this year. I think they become more so with every passing year. Their memory is a comforting promise in the gray winter and a reason not to mourn the falling leaves during the harvest. New blossoms will always grow, even after the coldest winter," Hania said.

  Ildiko couldn't help but notice the way Nerissa's brows furrowed together at his comment. What was Hania thinking? However metaphorically he was speaking, it was far too soon to suggest such things. The poor girl needed some time to grieve. After all, she had lost more in the attacks than anyone else.

  "I have something you may be interested in seeing, Nerissa," Ildiko said. She jumped up and made a point of giving Hania a nettling look before disappearing into the house.

  Hania merely shrugged and turned his kindly eyes onto Nerissa, his smile unwavering. He gestured with his thumb in the direction Ildiko had headed. "Be gentle with her, she's been sickly sin
ce she was born." The wrinkles around his eyes creased thoughtfully before he continued. "Despite her physical limitations, she is as protective of you as Einar is. I do hope that I didn't upset you. Sometimes I forget how much age has changed my perception of death."

  "No, not at all, Hania. As a matter of fact, you reminded me that my mother said something very similar when my grandfather died." Nerissa found it impossible to get upset with such a kindly man, though she suspected there was much more to him beneath the simple exterior he presented.

  Hania's smile deepened. He had told Rica the very same thing back then. It warmed his heart to find that she had thought enough of his words to pass them along to her daughter. "You know, they aren't really gone. They're waiting for you to meet up with them again, just like they waited for you before you were born. My Gerda is there with them too. I remember that she used to sit at the gate waiting for me to come back from missions, years ago. As soon as I was within arm's reach, she would grab my ear and drag me home like a misbehaving child. She may tug them both right off my head for making her wait so long this time. Death is nothing to fear. This world is neither the beginning nor the ending."

  "You are right, of course. Thank you for the reminder, Hania," Nerissa said.

  Hania simply nodded in response. They sat in silence sipping their tea until Ildiko returned from the house carrying a box and an armful of other objects. She handed Nerissa a small, padded box and began to spread the rest on the blanket in front of them.