Wandering Heart

by Hestand, Rita

  Perhaps they had other plans. Maybe Maxine planned her little seduction scene at her place.

  She couldn't drive half way across town just to spy on them, could she? No, that was going too far. No, she'd wait here and see if anyone showed up.

  It was storming now. Lightning lit up the yard around the bungalow, casting eerie shadows against the side of the house. Angela tried to get close enough to the window for a little protection, but the bushes and shrubs around it prevented her. Suddenly she heard footsteps. There was someone inside. Dear God, were they in bed?

  She saw a shadow on the shade as a dim light was switched on. It was Cooper.

  As she moved away from the window, she caught her T-shirt on the same bush. She cursed under her breath. She was wet, muddy, and now torn to shreds. She soon realized that the bush she kept hanging up on was the rose bush she had planted three summers ago. She cursed it under her breath.

  In her haste to pull away from the bush, she fell down and let out a small yelp. She wiped the mud from her face with the back of her hand, like a child. But it was too late. When she looked up she saw a dark shadow looming over her.

  It wasn't until lightening lit the sky again that she was sure it was Cooper, staring at her with utter surprise.

  "Angel!" He boomed.

  "I…I." The words wouldn't come. She'd been caught. Humiliation flooded her. Tears rolled down her cheeks, and she could only hope he thought it was rain. "I've got to go," she finally managed, scrambling to her feet and trying to get away before he put it all together and realized exactly why she was there.

  "Angel!" He called to her as she ran swiftly down the gravel road her own shame following her.

  It was pouring rain now, and the storm was raging out of control, just like her thoughts. But she didn't care. She had to get away. Escape. She couldn't face him. However, she had no choice as a vice-like grip halted her attempts to flee.

  "What in the hell?" He pulled her around so he could look at her.

  "Please," she begged. "Please don't."

  "What's this all about? What are you doing here in the middle of the night, in the middle of a storm?"

  "Let me go," she cried, trying not to face him, not wanting to look at him, and yet hungry for the sight of him.

  "Not on your life," he grumbled somewhere near her ear as he picked her up in his arms and carried her back to the small front porch of his bungalow. "Now," he said lowly as he sat her from him and stared down into her face.

  The door was swung open from the wind, and a dim light shone against her. She felt incapable of talking. As though someone had grabbed her tongue. Her tears overwhelmed her, and she hid her face in her hands. Then she heard the music that melted her heart and sent tears streaming down her face. "Oh, my love."

  "Angel." His big hands clamped around her upper arms, and his face looked like a mass of confusion. "Why don't you tell me what's wrong?"

  She didn't want his comfort. It was too humiliating. She didn't want to listen to that beautiful music at this moment either.

  "I'm so ashamed," she began, unable to look at him until.

  "Of what?" he asked gently.

  "I…I can't . . ." She somehow managed to pull loose of him, and ran back out into the storm, the echoes of the song following her.

  He caught her again, whipping her around, demanding she explain herself.

  She bent over in pain from her sobs. Anger was the only thing that drove her to explain. Anger at herself.

  "Isn't it obvious? I came here to spy on you," she shouted through the rain at him. But the weather was oblivious.

  The look on his face told her he didn't understand.

  "Spy on me?" he questioned sincerely. "What did you hope to find?"

  She couldn't say anymore, her guts hurt, her head hurt, and it was raining so hard she could hardly breathe, much less talk.

  "Angel?" He took her arms again, this time bringing her close against him. He held her there for a long moment, until she stopped sobbing.

  Pulling out of his comforting arms, she shouted at him, "I had to know! Are you satisfied? I've made a complete idiot of myself. Now, will you let go of me?"

  "Know what?"

  "If you and she, if you . . ."

  "She? She who?" He looked around them as if to make sense of what she was saying.

  "You better go back inside, Coop. Your company might get lonely."

  "What company?" He growled lowly, pulling on her arm a little harder. When she didn't answer, he pulled her face up to his. "Who and what are you talking about?"

  "Please, let me go," she wailed helplessly.

  "Not until I know what this is about."

  "You want me to say it? You want me to humiliate myself further? All right—Maxine."

  He stopped dead cold, let her go without warning and stared at her for a long moment. As though he had to assimilate everything she had revealed. "You thought..."

  She turned away, not able to face him anymore. "Now can I go home?"

  "Not on your life," he bellowed, picking her up and over his shoulder and hauling her back to the bungalow, this time inside.

  The water dripped from their clothes in large puddles on the floor, but neither of them seemed to pay any attention. It was again obvious he had been in bed, the covers were in an disarray. But equally obvious he hadn't undressed yet. The bed was a mess.

  Angela quickly assessed the situation. Perhaps Maxine had already been here and gone.

  "Now, does it look like I'm entertaining anyone?" he muttered.

  "Well, no, but . . ."

  "But what?" he demanded angrily. "You think she's in the closet? Go look."

  "But you had a date. Where did—"

  "Wrong again. We had no date." His eyes blazed into hers.

  "But she..."

  "Yeah, she had all kinds of plans. But I didn't. Did it ever occur to you I didn't want Maxine? What do you think I am, some kind of idiot? Do you think so little of me that you think I'd make love to you and then Maxine? I guess you did—you believed what you heard."

  She shook her head in disbelief. Dear God, had she misjudged him again? He'd never forgive her. How could he? What she insinuated was almost to the point of dirty. But the mind could play dirty little tricks.

  "I…I'm so sorry," she began and started running out of the bungalow. She'd made such a fool of herself she couldn't go on.

  She heard him call her, but she couldn't face the music. Until he pulled her up by the back of her shirt, and it nearly ripped off her.

  "Angel," he shouted, turning her around slowly, unmindful of her state of dress, and pulling her into his arms—warm arms that melted all resistance to flee.

  "I'm so sorry," she began. Her sobs racked her body.

  He shushed her gently. The rain beat against them, but neither of them seemed to notice. They just stood there staring at one another, as though it didn't matter.

  "You don't have to be sorry. It was my fault," he whispered near her ear as he held her tighter.

  "Yours?" she barely managed, as she looked up and felt his chin nod at her.

  His heart was beating wildly against her own, and she couldn't stop herself from snuggling closer. He groaned and pulled her head up off his chest, to look into her tear stained face, a mixture of rain and tears.

  And quite suddenly his lips were on hers, in frenzy as though it weren't near enough. Nothing moved but his lips on hers. Over and over he kissed her. Oblivious to time and place. His kisses went all over her face and jaw. He held her tight, his big hands warm against her bare back.

  "Come on, I'll explain, if I can keep my hands off you long enough."

  It could have been a tornado and they wouldn't have known the difference. Moments later, he held her closely, cajoling her with soft spoken words as another soft love song drew them together. "Dream lover." They were both dripping wet, but neither seemed to notice or care, as he pulled her down to sit beside him on the bed. He held her against him tight.<
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  "Angel, after you and I made love, other women were history. I thought you'd know it instinctively." He paused for a moment then said, "Actually, before that. Long before that, I knew the 'right' one was out there for me, waiting." He stopped long enough to cup her face in his big warm hands, and smiled. "We've had a connection for so long, a spiritual connection. A deep abiding connection. Something, or someone, namely you, brought me here. Not a funeral. You. A force stronger than attraction, stronger than friendship. We were meant to be together. I knew it. You didn't."

  "But you never said anything," she barely whispered.

  "Not directly, no. I couldn't. You had your life in such order. And, in order for a connection like that to work, both of us had to feel it. And that night, well, you just broke up with Greg. I wanted you to have time to be sure, before I pressured you with my feelings. How could I be sure you wouldn't go back to him? I wanted more than just your body. I wanted you!"

  "Oh, Coop, what a fool I've been," she cried, as he brushed the wet curls from her face.

  "No more than I have. I've been out of my mind tonight wondering where you were. Don't think I didn't worry, too. When you didn't come home I thought you might have gone to see Greg. I mean he is leaving town..."

  She smiled a little. "You're the only man I want."

  He looked deep into her eyes, and smiled gently. "Keeping my hands off you these last few days has been murder. But I wanted to give you some space. I wouldn't blame you if you chose Greg. I can see where you might figure him as the best prospect for husband material. But it made me so angry to see him with you, and him not claiming you. I can't imagine being in love like that."

  He glanced down at her, saw her shiver, and went to the closet and brought back a blanket. He covered them both in it and leaned against the bed frame, holding her close all the while.

  "I want you so bad this very minute, but I've had a lot of empty physical relationships. I didn't want our relationship smothered in merely physical desire.I wanted you to see the difference. Although I'm already tied in knots from being this close to you. There are so many things I want to talk to you about. So many things I want to share with you. I've been waiting a life time to share my life with someone."

  Angela snuggled closer, a slow lingering smile played at her lips. "I've never met anyone I'd rather spend the night talking to."

  They cuddled and talked well into the night. Occasionally he'd stop and kiss her tenderly on the lips. But his hands didn't stray.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  "Looking for me?" she said with a big smile, the next morning as she scrambled some eggs for their breakfast. He had walked her home in the wee hours of the morning and kissed her thoroughly before letting her go inside, alone.

  There was a smile on his face as big as Texas as he strode lazily over to her at the sink, wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against him.

  "Come here," he urged her as he pulled her through the kitchen and out the back door.

  She giggled merrily, rejoicing in his playfulness. "What?"

  He looked deep into her eyes, and then pointed. "Sunrise can be as beautiful as sunset."

  She smiled and sighed against him.

  Partner came up to them, nudging them almost as though saying, "Yes, this is where you belong."

  Cooper held her close, wrapping both arms around her and snuggling against her. They stood watching the purple and orange, and yellow and blues of the sunrise, and very lowly he whispered against her ear, "I love you, Angel. Will you marry me?"

  She turned in his arms, planting a delicate kiss to his chin, and shyly replied, "I love you, too, Coop. And yes, I'll marry you."

  Then without warning he picked her up, held her against the chameleon sky and gave a loud Texas whoop. Partner barked a couple of times.

  Cooper dotted her face with kisses, and then proceeded to carry her back into the house. "We were meant for each other, you know? It'll be good between us, Angel. I'll see to that. We're so right for each other."

  "I felt it, Coop. But it scared me. You see, I thought I had things worked out in my head. And then you came along, and instantly things began to change. You stirred feelings I didn't know existed. Feelings Greg never began to. You were different from any man I've ever known."

  "What things changed?" He asked with a smile as he watched her return to the eggs.

  "Well, for one thing, I was reacting to you more than Greg. Every time you touched me, my toes curled. And when I listened to your heartbeat, it was so much faster, so much more alive. I felt awakened from a deep sleep."

  He smiled warmly. "I couldn't keep my hands off you. Or my mind."

  "I had dreams about you for months before you came back," she admitted, placing the eggs on the table and setting the table as though they were talking about the weather.

  He crooked his head. "You did? So did I, about you."

  She giggled softly. "About me?

  "Oh, yes, wonderful dreams."

  "Mine, too. Only I didn't know it was you for a long time."

  "What were they like?"

  Her mouth broke into a big smile, and she sighed as she happily planted herself in his lap. "Like nothing I had ever experienced before. Sort of supernatural. Fulfilling, loving, gentle. Everything a woman wants and more. But they had me rattled, I'll admit. Because I knew instantly these dreams weren't of Greg."

  He kissed her lightly on the nose, and stared evenly into her face. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you that first night we made love how I felt. But I wanted you to be sure about Greg. About your own feelings. I wanted to give you time to change your mind if you needed to. When you said you loved me, I wasn't sure if you knew what you were saying. I didn't want to upset your life any more than it already had been. You've been through a lot."

  "And I thought you didn't want to commit yourself."

  "I did that a long time ago, Angel. First, I fell in love with you, and then I fell in love with Josh. And I've always loved this place. I'd like to make this place a showplace if you'll let me. I've got so many ideas."

  "You know I really thought you were a man down on his luck, when I ran into you that night. And yet, when you finally told me, it didn't seem to matter. Money was never an issue with you. It was how you treated me, treated Josh, worked the farm, and loved the animals. Some mornings when I got up too early, I'd watch you from the kitchen window, tending the stock. You were so gentle with them. And Partner thinks you're his master."

  He smiled and kissed her hard. She was breathless when he let her go.

  She looked at him solemnly. "No one's ever affected me the way you do. I mean, just the sound of your heartbeat thrills me. Everything about you affects me. And it's so funny, but the night I realized I loved you, I was sitting in a hotel room with Greg."

  "That was the night I was afraid I'd lost you for sure. I didn't know what I was going to do that next morning. I was already so wrapped up in you and Josh, and I was losing you."

  Angela smiled and snuggled against him, her fingers playing idly with his shirt buttons. "I was so ashamed of myself that night. And then to think I could come into your room and..."

  "You did nothing wrong. With me or Greg. And, if you hadn't, there's no telling what I might have done. If you think you were jealous of Maxine, you should have seen me that night before you came home. I was a living mess. I wanted to tear Greg limb from limb. I wanted to find you, take you, and make you mine. And then when you walked in, dressed in that sweet little nightgown, that makes the imagination go wild, I knew there was no turning back. And believe me; I never wanted another woman after that moment."

  She giggled. "So, where do we go from here?"

  He growled, his hands going over her slowly. "Straight to the alter, with Josh at our side."

  "Josh loves you, Coop."

  "And I love him. I wasn't kidding when I told you he was the son I never had. And I guess it's safe to tell you now, he was sort of hoping this might happen between us."


  She closed her eyes, a small tear forming at the edge of her eye. Cooper rose up to kiss each eye, and take her into the cradle of his arms. Then, he sighed again and nearly choked out the words that she had waited to hear so long.

  "Oh, woman, I love you so."

  "I'm almost afraid to be this happy."

  "Don't be," he cajoled against her ear, "because we're going to be even happier soon." And he sealed that promise with a kiss.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  "Fire! Fire!" Angela screamed as she witnessed the lightening striking against the barn roof. The old building had turned white hot and practically burst into flames.

  For a split second she couldn't move, couldn't react. Cooper came to her side in a flash, barking commands at her to snap her out of it.

  "Turn the water on, honey, I'll get the hoses!"

  She froze.

  "Angel, turn the water on!" He prompted his voice shrill and anxious.

  Instead, she slowly tuned on him and shouted, "Where's Josh?"

  Cooper looked up at her from his task. Both of them knew he had been tending the stock. Their heads turned to the small corral, then the yard. There wasn't a sign of him.

  Suddenly, Josh shouted at them from the hayloft in the barn. "Mom, Coop. I'm up here. I'll jump."

  "No, wait," Cooper responded in a split second. "You'll break your neck. Stay there, I'll come and get you."

  "You can't. The fires all over the place down there," Josh called back.

  All the while, the lightening raged, but not one drop of rain. An electrical storm in an ominous black sky sent tremors upon the dry earth.

  "I'll just have to chance it," he called back. Glancing at Angela, who had turned the water on and was gathering the hose, he ordered, "Quick, wet me down."

  She started to protest, but realized he was right. She did as he asked without another word. Panic seized her stomach, tying it in knots.