Stroke It

by Ivy Jordan

  I thought about that night in the tent, where I heard her tell me she loved me. I’d said it too, but I was certain she hadn’t heard over her own moans. I hoped she hadn’t. I wasn’t sure what I was feeling. It had been a great week, and we’d grown really close. The time spent with Xander, talking about her dad, memories of Tommy, and the decision about Bailey, it all had me twisted.

  I turned off the floor sander and picked up my phone. I at least had to see Kellie, to talk to her; maybe that would help me make the decision. “This is Kellie,” her voice was high-pitched and nasally.

  “Hey, Kellie, it’s Elijah,” my voice cracked as I spoke.

  I cleared my throat. “I was wondering if I could meet up with you and talk.”

  “I’m at the beach right now, but Bailey is with me,” she explained.

  “Would it be okay if I brought you lunch?” I asked, knowing that seeing Bailey was beneficial to me committing to a decision.

  She hesitated with a long pause, and then agreed, giving me her location. “I’ll be there in thirty minutes,” I said.

  My heart raced as the reality sunk in. I wasn’t ready to be a father, but that wasn’t fair to this little girl. She didn’t ask for any of this. “Man up,” Xander’s words sounded in my head.

  I stopped at the burger joint by the beach and picked up three burgers, an order of chicken nuggets, and three fries. I wasn’t sure what kids ate, but the only happy memory I could think of as a child was when my dad stopped at the burger place on the way home.

  I parked across from the beach and sat in my car while working up my nerve to go find them. I took a deep breath, stepped out of my car, and walked towards the sandy beach. It wasn’t crowded, it never was, but there were enough people spread out on the sand that I didn’t see Kellie or Bailey at first glance.

  The sand pushed into my sandals and under my feet, between my toes, and then up my ankle as I began to sink in the soft surf. “Elijah!” I heard my name called and turned towards the sound of Kellie’s nasally, high-pitched voice. I assumed we didn’t talk much the night we hooked up. There was no way I could keep an erection with that noise squawking in my ear.

  Kellie’s arm waved high in the air, motioning me towards where she sat. As I got closer, I noticed the little dark-haired girl playing in the sand a few feet from where her mother had spread out a large blanket. She was building a sand castle diligently, even though the soft sand lost its shape and fell before her walls could be built properly.

  “I brought burgers and nuggets,” I said, handing Kellie the bag.

  I sat down beside her, staring out at the little girl for a moment, lost in my own thought, my own torturous thought. “Looks like she’s having fun,” I said with a smile.

  “She loves the beach,” Kellie said, staring at me intensely as she spoke. Her stare made me nervous, and I knew she wanted an answer from me. I didn’t have one. Not yet.

  “So, why didn’t you ever tell me?” I asked, curious as to why she never tried to reach out, to at least tell me I’d created a life.

  “You were deploying the weekend we hooked up. We were both drunk, stupid, and I didn’t think you’d be excited to find out you had a kid to take care of as you left to go overseas,” she explained.

  “But, I could’ve helped, sent you money, something,” I pointed out.

  “I didn’t need your money,” she sighed.

  I’d forgotten Kellie was the daughter of the richest man on the island. He ran the local airport, owned over a dozen planes, and flew people, mostly tourists, from island to island. He’d cornered the market when he was just eighteen, and by the time he was thirty, he’d already been featured in Forbes magazine twice. “Still, you could’ve told me,” I protested.

  Bailey was still working on her sand castle, building and rebuilding the same wall over and over again. I wanted to go help her, to show her how to use the damp sand so it would pack into a sturdier shape. I knew it was best that I didn’t. Not without knowing what I was going to do.

  “So, why tell me now?” I asked.

  Kellie sighed and reclined back on her arms. “I wasn’t planning on it, but then I ran into you. It isn’t fair to Bailey to deny her a strong male role model, but it isn’t fair to her to give her one that is weak and uninterested either,” she snapped.

  Wasn’t fair to Bailey? What about me? I get this dumped on me without warning. Boom, you’re a dad, and she’s already three. I hadn’t had the chance to bond with her since she was an infant like Kellie had. How would I know if she even liked me if I decided to be in her life?

  Bailey ran over to us, stopping to stare at me with dark, large eyes. “I know you,” she smiled.

  “I know you, too,” I smiled. “I brought burgers and nuggets. Are you hungry?” I asked.

  She wrinkled up her nose. “Do you have any sushi?” she asked, her little voice almost as squeaky as her mothers, but somehow not offensive at all. It was sweet. Something about it melted my heart and made me want to reach out and grab her, protect her from the world, but I didn’t. I still wasn’t sure that she didn’t need to be protected from me.

  “I don’t. I’m sorry,” I half-laughed, surprised that the three-year-old had such a sophisticated and finicky pallet.

  “She’s not a big fan of fast food,” Kellie explained.

  It just made me feel that much more distant from the child. I didn’t even know what she ate; how in the hell was I supposed to know what was best for her, for me?

  Bailey bored quickly of us and ran back to her sand castle. I watched her, my heart tugging hard as I noticed something in her familiar, something that resembled me when I was a kid. I wasn’t sure if it was her eyes, her posture, or her mannerisms, but there was certainly something that made me feel she was mine.

  “So, you coming here, does that mean you’ve decided what you want to do?” Kellie asked, not beating around the bush at all.

  “I haven’t,” I admitted. “I just needed some answers I guess. Can I let you know my decision Friday?” I asked.

  “Sure,” Kellie agreed graciously. I was impressed, and a little shocked at how easy she was being, how flexible. This was her child’s life we were talking about, but she told me to take all the time I needed. “I don’t want you to make a decision you’ll regret, for Bailey’s sake,” she added.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Taylor

  Milton looked like a new man sitting across from me in the big comfy chair. He sat one of the colorful throw cushions in his lap and squeezed it as he told me the good news. “I have my flight booked,” he beamed.

  His hair was clean and slicked back from his face, his clothes pressed, and he even looked like he’d gotten some sun from the glistening of his skin. “I’m really glad,” I sighed, feeling a relief that he was going to be okay.

  “I owe it all to you,” he gushed, his eyes filling with the wet tears he tried to hide. “Thank you,” he smiled, pulling back his emotion.

  I couldn’t speak. I knew if I did, my voice would crack and tears would fall from my eyes. I’d grown so attached to this man in such a short time. He was the link to all of the guilt I felt about my own father. He was helping me just as much as I was helping him, if not more.

  “So, when do you leave?” I finally managed to speak clearly.

  “Next week. I’ll visit my son for a week, and then my daughter for a week,” he grinned.

  “You should stay longer,” I encouraged.

  “I can’t be away from the island that long,” he said softly. I knew he meant he couldn’t be away from his wife that long. He visited her every week, leaving fresh flowers on her gravestone that he picked wild. He took very good care of her, even when he couldn’t take care of himself.

  We talked a little longer than usual, but he was my last patient of the day, and I wasn’t in any hurry to leave. I was enjoying listening to him talk about his grandkids, and how much he enjoyed talking to them through Skype.

  As I was walking him
out, I reminded him of the shopping arrangement. I was surprised, but he’d actually written out a list of items he needed. It was short, but I knew he was leaving next week, so I didn’t fight him on it. “I’ll be by later this evening,” I promised, taking the list from his wrinkled hand. I fought back the urge to reach out and hug the old man, knowing it wasn’t exactly the professional thing to do.

  I stood by the front doors, watching him walk to his car. His stride was stronger, his back straighter, and something had definitely changed within him.

  “Taylor, can I have a minute?” Mitchell stuck his head out from his office.

  Chills ran up my spine as I walked towards him. What have I done now?

  “Have a seat,” he offered, motioning to the hard chair in front of his desk. I smiled, took the seat, and looked around his plain, cold office.

  “Did you have a good week?” he asked, trying to sound interested even though I knew he wasn’t. I hadn’t been here long, and already taking a week off. I was waiting for him to lower the boom. Give it to me, Mitchell; I can handle it.

  “It was an amazing week,” I smiled, trying not to let him induce fear into my soul. I was feeling good, and that’s how I wanted to stay. He wasn’t going to ruin my great mood, my feeling of accomplishment.

  “I’m glad you took the time for yourself. I know this job is overwhelming at times. I hope I haven’t overloaded you too quickly,” he sighed.

  “No, not at all. I’m actually enjoying the workload,” I explained, suddenly panicked with guilt.

  “I was just concerned. I know you took on an extra day with Milton, and on top of everything else…” he paused.

  “No. I took the week to visit a family friend. Getting to his place is a full day hike,” I smiled. I wasn’t going to let him push Milton’s days back to twice a week, not using my week off as an excuse. I wasn’t overwhelmed at work; if anything, I was content. I loved my job and my patients.

  “Milton seemed to be a lot happier,” he admitted.

  My heartbeat slowed to normal, and my palms released the sweat forming on them as my panic reduced. “Yes. He’s a changed man,” I beamed.

  “He spoke very highly of you. He said you helped him get organized at his house, and that you’re doing his shopping for him,” Mitchell questioned.

  I couldn’t tell by his tone if he was irritated or impressed. “That’s not exactly orthodox treatment,” his eyebrows rose high on his forehead as he pushed his glasses down to his nose. His stare was intense, leaving me helpless against the anxiety that arose within my soul.

  “I understand, but I felt it was necessary,” I stated firmly.

  “I agree,” he said, and then leaned back in his chair. My heart raced. “I believe that those extra steps you’ve taken with him brought not only trust that was needed, but confidence that had been lacking for some time now. I’ve spent several years with Milton, and I’ve never seen him this happy, this confident,” he boasted.

  My eyes were locked onto his, still in disbelief that he was praising me, not reprimanding me for my nontraditional methods of treatment. “People often don’t realize that life on the island, especially a small one like this, is much different than in a big city. People are different, and they should be treated differently. That’s why I was so excited to get you here, someone who’s lived on the island, who understands the close bond of the people here. I have to say, I’m impressed,” he gushed, his eyes beaming with pride.

  “Thank you,” I smiled. I’d never been praised so highly while in New York. Maybe the island was where I belonged. It was in my blood. I had roots here. I was one of these people.

  “I’m prepared to make you a full partner once your six-month period is complete. I didn’t want to wait to tell you. I thought you should know now, so you have the time to decide if you plan to stay,” he smiled brightly.

  When I came here, I had planned on going back to New York, when I wasn’t certain. But, a full partnership, that meant a commitment to stay here forever. “I really appreciate that. Thank you very much, Mitchell,” I replied.

  “No, thank you. This island is lucky to have you,” he beamed.

  Wow. This was a huge offer. I was too stunned to determine what I wanted right at that moment. So many things flew through my mind. Milton was here, and I knew there’d be plenty more like him that would need my help. Xander was up the mountain, someone that I could always call on if I needed anything, and Elijah. Oh, Elijah. He was leaving, going back to Miami most likely, and soon. Was I prepared to stay put on this island and not chase him to the States?

  “It’s a lot to think about,” Mitchell pointed out. “I don’t need your answer now, but whenever you know, please inform me of your decision,” Mitchell concluded, standing from his chair and extending his long arm towards me. I took his hand, shook it firmly, and agreed to tell him once I made my decision. What will I decide? What should I decide?

  I left Mitchell’s office feeling both proud and confused. I wasn’t prepared to plan out my future in stone just yet, but I did love it here on the island. I cleaned up my office and locked up. I sat in my car for a few minutes, trying to decide what to do when Milton’s list on my passenger seat caught my eye. I would take it one day at a time; that’s what I would do. Elijah hadn’t made a decision yet about his child, so I could think about this for a few days or weeks if I needed.

  I pulled my car from the small parking lot and headed into town. Madison’s bakery was pulling me towards it, not only for the sweet treats inside, but for my good friend’s advice.

  I pulled into the parking lot in front of the bakery. There was a line wrapped around the building, and I could see Madison through the window, smiling and greeting guests as they entered one by one. What the hell was going on?

  I walked up to the storefront, taking notice of the long line. I waved to Madison through the window as she walked by. I watched as she waved in my direction, and then handed a basket to one of the girls working inside. “What is all this?” I asked as she stepped out. She looked exhausted; proud and happy, but exhausted.

  “I’m giving away free samples of my new savory dessert,” she boasted, pushing a small round donut towards me.

  My eyes widened as I took the treat. It looked like a donut hole but was covered in a thick, creamy icing. The aroma was different, but appealing. “What is it?” I asked before placing it in my mouth.

  “Just try it,” Madison laughed.

  I took a bite, recognizing the flavor, but never in a donut before. “Oh wow,” I exclaimed with my mouth still full.

  “You like it?” she asked, her eyes wide and hopeful.

  “Yes,” I swallowed my first bite. It was a donut ball with fried chicken inside, a maple syrup glaze with bacon bits sprinkled on top. “It’s probably the second best thing I’ve ever put in my mouth,” I giggled, thinking about Elijah as I spoke. Madison’s eyes narrowed, and her lips curled into a smile. She knew what I was talking about. I didn’t have to say it, she just knew.

  She laughed as she let out a soft sigh. “How was your week in the wilderness?”

  “It was amazing,” I gasped, unable to express to her just how amazing it truly was. “Elijah is one of the most impressive men I’ve ever met,” I sighed.

  “Sounds like you’re falling for him,” she teased.

  I didn’t respond with anything except a smile. “Oh my God, you are!” she exclaimed.

  My cheeks burnt with the redness I knew flooded them. It was true. I was falling for Elijah. Now what?

  “He’s leaving soon,” I groaned, trying to convince myself as much as Madison that I wasn’t being naïve.

  “Did you get a chance to ask about your brother?” she questioned, thankfully changing the topic.

  “No. I’m not sure I really need to know now. I got to see how close a bond those men shared, and I’m certain it is a topic neither of them would care to discuss. Knowing all the details may be too hard for me. Just knowing he was with people who
loved him, that’s enough,” I replied.

  “Good,” Madison responded, looking over her shoulder at the crowd gathering inside. “I have to get back in there.”

  I reached out and gave her a hug before she disappeared back into the bakery. I wanted to ask her opinion about my partnership, but I knew she’d just tell me to stay. There wasn't any way I wanted to tell her I thought about following Elijah to the states, or that I was begging for him to stay and be a father to little Bailey. There was so much she didn’t know. I hated the fact I couldn’t share all of my secrets with her. Elijah’s secrets.

  I left my car in the parking lot near the bakery and walked across the street to the market. I scoured each aisle for the items on Milton’s list, all pretty basic. He loved the small boxes of juice, and the single serving milks I’d bought, so he added them to the list. A few of the snacks I’d purchased him last week, some more fruit, and garbage bags were all that were left on the list. I wondered if he’d skimped on a few items because of cost, or if he truly didn’t need them. I’d look when I got there, just to make sure he was getting everything he needed.

  The cashier was busy chomping on her gum and talking to the manager. It was obvious they were attracted to one another, and I tried not to giggle as I placed my items onto the belt. Something about love, it was just in the air. I felt it, and these two felt it; it was contagious.

  “Is this all?” the woman asked, quickly turning from her flirting and to my groceries. I nodded as she scanned each item and placed it in a large paper bag. I handed her a fifty, took the change, and headed out the door with my two bags for Milton’s just as Kellie walked in with Bailey clinging to her hand. The little girl was wearing a swimsuit, and her hair was in tight braids on either side of her head. Kellie looked directly at me as I nearly ran into her. “Hey, Kellie, right?” I stammered.