Satisfaction

by K. M. Scott

  “Do we get to eat the foot cake, Daddy?” Annalea asked, tearing me from my thoughts.

  I shook my head and smiled. “No. See that cake over there on the counter? That’s the one we eat.”

  “Oh,” she said, her face serious for her five years. “Because I would eat Cassian’s foot cake. Aunt Olivia cleaned his feet, so it would be okay.”

  Unable to stop myself, I laughed as she skipped over to get a piece of cake. Abbi shook her head and smiled as she walked over to stand next to me. “What are you laughing at? I like this tradition.”

  I wrapped my arm around her waist and kissed her softly. “I was laughing at something Annalea said. I like this tradition too.”

  For the next two hours we all sat around eating hamburgers and birthday cake and talked about what was new in our lives. Stefan filled everyone in on his new club and his plans for it now that it had become the hottest place in town. Then he bragged about Shay being close to earning her Ph.D. and she announced that she was hopeful she’d get a full time position at the university soon.

  For Cassian and me, our news was all about the restaurant we just opened, CK, and I liked how everyone looked at the three of us with pride. For the former owners of a fantasy club, it felt like we had finally grown up. Stefan still retained a little of what we’d had in our twenties, even though he was already thirty-one, but for Cassian and me, life had settled into one of marriage, children, and domestic bliss.

  It was a good life.

  “She’s a gorgeous little girl, Kane,” Shay said as she sat down on the sand next to me. “From a rocky start, she’s really something special.”

  I looked over at Annalea burying Stefan in the sand and nodded. She’d grown from that tiny preemie to a strong and beautiful little girl who was the apple of my eye. “She is. I can’t imagine my life without her. Or Abbi, for that matter. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost them.”

  “I don’t think there’s any risk of that. I can’t decide who adores you more, your daughter or your wife. All in all, I’d say you’re one lucky guy.”

  Something in Shay’s voice made me turn to look at her, and I saw in her smile something forced. “I am. I’d say Stefan’s lucky too, though.”

  She chuckled. “No need to say that. We’re happy. It’s just a different kind of happy than what you guys have.”

  “So no chance for marriage and kids with you two?”

  “Maybe. I don’t know. Not everyone has to be married or have kids to be happy, right? It can just be two people crazy for each other and there for one another when the world gets too much, can’t it?”

  “Sure. I’m not saying you two should do anything you don’t want to do. I just want to see you guys happy. That’s all.”

  Shay took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “I think each one of us finds happiness in our own way. I’m just glad you came around to finding yours. You had me worried there for a while right before Annalea was born. I wasn’t sure you’d be able to find your way back to where you belonged, Kane.”

  I shook my head and thought about those dark days. She was right. “I wasn’t sure either, but you deserve some of the credit for that. That night before Annalea was born when we got drunk in my crappy rooms at the club you told me just what I needed to hear.”

  “Really? What did I say?”

  “You told me my mother was wrong. In fact, your exact words were, ‘That’s bullshit, and you know it, Kane.’”

  A sheepish look crossed her face. “I’m about as dainty as a dump truck when I’m drunk. I guess I could have tempered myself a little since I was talking about your mother. Sorry about that.”

  “Don’t be sorry, Shay. It’s what I needed to hear at exactly the right moment, and for that, I’m forever thankful.”

  She took my hand and gave it a squeeze. “People come into our lives for a reason, Kane. You know, I actually entertained the idea of us being together for a few seconds that night you came to see me at the fourth floor bar, but we’re too much alike to be right. You need someone you can protect, and you have that in Abbi.”

  Shay’s admission didn’t surprise me, and I smiled at the idea of the two of us as a couple. I’d also thought about us together a time or two when she worked at the club. “We’d never be good together. I like being the knight in shining armor, and you don’t need or want that. That’s why Stefan and you are good together. He doesn’t come with all the baggage I do. Just ask Abbi. It’s a lot to deal with.”

  She looked over toward my brother and smiled. “I think that’s one of the things I love best about Stefan. I don’t know if it’s because he’s the youngest or if it’s because of who he just is, but what you see is what you get. To many people that would mean he’s simple, but what he is is uncomplicated. There’s a difference that others don’t see, but I do.”

  I looked over at Stefan playing with my daughter and knew exactly what Shay meant. Stefan stayed carefree. His love of life remained steadfast, regardless of what troubles came along. In many ways, he was like his mother in that.

  “Daddy! I buried Uncle Stefan. Come see!”

  Turning to look at Shay as I stood, I joked, “I’m being summoned.”

  “Stefan loves that getting buried in the sand thing. He had me do it on our first date.”

  I smiled and as I walked down to see my daughter’s work, I chuckled at the idea of how different he and I were. It would never occur to me to do anything like that, but that was Stefan.

  Looking down, I saw only his head and hands still sticking out of the sand. “Are you okay being buried like that?”

  Always the joker, he nodded. “She’s great at this! I told her we can build a sandcastle next.”

  “I think we need to go soon, Annalea. You have school tomorrow, so it’s an early night,” I said in my serious dad voice, which immediately elicited a frown from both my brother and my daughter.

  “Oh, please Daddy! Just a little longer? Uncle Stefan is going to show me how to make the biggest sandcastle ever.”

  “Please Daddy,” Stefan whined in a teasing voice. “Please!”

  I rolled my eyes and turned to walk away. “Another hour, but no more. Now you kids have fun.”

  The two of them screamed, “Yay!” and moved on to their sandcastle building as I headed back into the house to find Abbi. Olivia sat with Cash and Cassian as the baby ate his dinner, and I knew by the look in their eyes how happy they truly were. I’d seen that look in Abbi’s eyes and my own when Annalea finally came home from the hospital. It was the look of pure contentment.

  “Have you guys seen Abbi?”

  Cash pointed toward the living room. “I think I saw her walk past a little while ago.”

  I looked to my right and saw Abbi and Alexandria sitting together near the picture window that faced out toward the beach. Not sure if I was interrupting, I took a step into the room and cleared my throat.

  “Just the person I was hoping to see,” Alexandria said with a smile. “I’ve been talking to Abbi about this house and the one on Anna Maria Island.”

  Taking a seat next to Abbi on the couch, I said, “I know you two love that house.”

  Abbi took my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “Alexandria has something she wants to tell you, Kane.”

  “What’s that?”

  Alexandria handed me a small stack of papers and sat down across from us. “I should have done this a long time ago, and for that I apologize. It’s done now, though. Take a look. It’s my will.”

  I stared down at the words on the pages in front of me as they swam before my eyes. Alexandria’s will detailed everything she intended to leave to her sons, her grandchildren, Olivia and Shay, and Abbi and me, in addition to countless charitable organizations and people I’d never heard of. As I reached the part where she listed what we were to receive, I read the words For My Son Kane Jackson and Daughter-In-Law Abigail Jackson and stopped.

  Looking up at Alexandria, I didn’t know what to say. Not only wasn’t
I her son, but I was the bastard her husband had made with another woman.

  “I told you a long time ago that I thought of you like one of my own sons, and I do. This just makes it official, so when I go, you and Abbi will be taken care of. Not that I intend on leaving any time soon, but when the time comes, this is done.”

  Abbi hugged her. “Thank you for all that you’ve done for me, for us. From the moment you met me, you’ve been like a mother to me. And you’re truly Annalea’s grandmother in every way.”

  I sat speechless as they talked about the future and our daughter, and when Abbi left to find Annalea, Alexandria stopped me.

  “I told you years ago that you weren’t a mistake, no matter how your mother and father made you feel. Abbi once asked me why I cared for you, and I told her I thought you deserved it. You’re my son as much as Cassian and Stefan are.”

  Choking back emotion, I muttered, “Thank you.”

  Cradling my face, she smiled. “When your father told me about you, he asked if I’d be willing to have you come live with us so you could have all the good things your brothers grew up with. I said yes, even though I hated the idea of him with someone else. But I never hated him, and I don’t think I ever hated you. I just wish all those years for you had been different.”

  “Thank you. I’m okay with what happened then. It took me a long time to understand when my mother told me all those times that I was meant to hurt she was talking about how much she hurt. I get that now.”

  “She shouldn’t have done that to you, Kane. No matter what we feel, we shouldn’t make our children suffer. And your father didn’t make things any better. I know that. But I hope you see that you’re as much a part of this family as Cassian and Stefan. I saw your face when I said the foot in the cake is a tradition for anyone born into this family. I’m sorry you didn’t get that.”

  “It’s okay, Alexandria. My mother and father made choices and how I deal with them is the choice I’ve had to make.”

  “Your father would be proud of you, Kane. I’m proud of you. You have everything you ever deserved with Abbi and Annalea.”

  I took her hands in mine and smiled. “Everything and more. And every night when I go to sleep, I thank God Abbi found it in her heart to forgive me. I know you helped her see that, and I can never repay you for that.”

  “That’s what mothers do, Kane. They butt in when they aren’t supposed to and champion their son’s cause, even if no one else believes in it. I didn’t have to work too hard, though. Whatever Abbi seemed like on the outside, on the inside she still loved you. She just needed to become strong enough for you.”

  “Thank you, Mom.”

  I’d called her that a few times since she asked me to right after Annalea was born, but never before had she looked so happy to hear that one word from me. Sometimes it felt odd to say since she wasn’t the woman who’d given birth to me, although I often wished she had been. How different my life would have been if I’d been her son all along.

  “Okay, enough of this seriousness. I want a picture of my family, so let’s get everybody together,” Alexandria said with a smile. “It’s a big day, so it’s picture time.”

  We all huddled together on the back porch as she stood in the yard below aiming my phone up at us. Three men, three women, and two children who didn’t want to sit still while she tried to squeeze us all in, so I ran down to help her or we’d never get back to celebrating little Cassian’s first birthday.

  As she handed me the phone, she complained, “I have no idea how you’re all going to fit. I might have to take two or three pictures.”

  “No, we’ll get it,” I said as I focused the camera on the group up on the porch. Cash and Olivia sat on the left with the baby on her lap all smiles as his mother bounced her legs up and down and his father beamed like the proud daddy he was. In the middle, Stefan and Shay cuddled up together full of smiles like lovebirds. And to the right, the two most important people in my life smiled and waited for me to rejoin the group as the final missing part to our family portrait.

  And when we looked at the picture afterward, there was no doubt. We were one hell of a family.

  *

  Annalea scooted under her covers and patted the bed next to her. “Tell me the dragon story, Daddy. Mommy said you’d tell me the dragon story tonight.”

  I turned and smiled at Abbi standing at the foot of the bed. “You did, huh? I guess I don’t have a choice since both my girls want me to tell it.”

  “I’ll leave you two to it. I’m going to grab a shower, but before I do, I want a kiss from my Jelly Belly.”

  Abbi planted kisses all over Annalea’s face and then finally kissed her on the lips, whispering, “Goodnight, Annalea. Sweet dreams, baby. I love you.”

  “I love you too, Mommy. Sweet dreams.”

  Left alone with my daughter, I smoothed the hair from her forehead and began my story. “Once upon a time there was a dragon who terrorized a faraway village. Every day and night, the people in that village lived in fear of that terrible dragon. Just one lowly knight had the job of slaying him.”

  “And his name was Kane!” Annalea said in excitement.

  Nodding, I smiled. “Yes, his name was Kane. And it took this lowly knight a long time to get the courage to slay the dragon, but one morning a fairy princess arrived and gave him that strength and courage to do just that. So he pushed down his fears and went off to find that dragon. And when he did, he raised his sword and the dragon breathed angry fire, but the knight didn’t give up. He fought and fought and finally, he got rid of that dragon once and for all.”

  Annabella tugged on the bottom of my shirt. “Can I see the dragon?”

  “Yep.”

  Standing up, I pulled my shirt over my head to show her the dragon I wore on my skin, which was her favorite part of my telling the story. Each time, she would trace the lines of the tattoo that covered my back and stop where the dragon’s head met its body and touch the two A’s there.

  I sat down and she did as she always did when she saw my tattoo. Her little fingers danced over my skin until they came to rest on those two letters meant to symbolize her and her mother’s names.

  “A and A, for me and Mommy, right?”

  Turning around to face her, I kissed her forehead. “Right. Now it’s time for the fairy princess to go to bed. Sweet dreams, honey.”

  She hugged me, laying her head against my chest just like she had in those first weeks in the NICU when I’d sit in that rocking chair and hold her to my skin as I promised her I’d be the father she needed. “Sweet dreams, Daddy. I love you.”

  I smoothed her long blond hair under my hand and kissed the top of her head. “I love you too, Annalea.”

  I turned off her light and watched her for a moment as she snuggled up underneath her blankets with Angel. Somehow that fairy princess who had come into this world too early and so tiny she nearly fit in the palm of my hand had been strong enough to save not only herself but me too, and no father adored his child more than I adored her.

  Abbi stepped into the bedroom still damp from her shower and dried her shoulders as I watched her from the bed. Her hair reached halfway down her back now, and the long blonde strands hung in her eyes as she struggled to catch it all in the towel. As beautiful as the first time I laid eyes on her, she enchanted me just as she did that night in Cash’s office.

  “Is Annalea asleep yet?”

  “I don’t think so. She was pretty excited about that dragon story she wanted to hear, so it’ll probably take a few minutes for her to drift off.”

  “Hmmm…the party was nice today, wasn’t it? That baby is so adorable. He’s the spitting image of Cassian, except for his eyes, don’t you think?”

  “And his smile. He’s got Olivia’s smile,” I said.

  Abbi stopped drying her hair for a moment and thought about what I’d said. Nodding, she agreed. “Yeah, I think he does. Annalea had a good time with Stefan today. She couldn’t talk enough about the sand
castle they made as I was getting her dressed for bed.”

  “Why don’t you come here so I can help you dry that hair?” I asked, not really interested in anything involving her hair, to be honest.

  Seeing right through my offer, Abbi raised her eyebrows in disbelief. “You want to help me dry my hair?”

  “Come here.”

  She crawled across the bed toward me, pulling her towel off to reveal her gorgeous breasts just as she reached me. Looking down, she tried to bring it back up to cover her, but I stopped her hands and ran my fingers over her soft skin.

  “Don’t put it back on. I’m only going to take it off.”

  “Kane, Annalea is still awake. She’ll hear us.”

  I knew she was right, but I didn’t want to stop. “Just close the door. She won’t hear.”

  Abbi kissed me softly on the lips and readjusted her towel to cover her once again. “She’ll probably come in to see what’s going on. Do you want her to see us like that?”

  “No, not really.”

  She walked toward the door and tilted her head to look down the hall. “Let me see if she’s still up. I’ll be right back.”

  I was already hard, so I hoped our daughter had been exhausted by a full afternoon of playing outside and had fallen fast asleep after my dragon story. Abbi returned a few seconds later and closing the door behind her, whispered, “She’s asleep, so I think we’re safe.”

  As she climbed onto the bed, I asked, “Why didn’t you want to share our big news today?”

  Abbi shrugged and smiled. “I wanted to keep it just between us for a little while longer. Plus, it was little Cassian’s day and I didn’t want to take anything away from that.”

  I cupped my palm over her still flat belly. “I get that, but when they find out we’ve kept this to ourselves for nearly three months, you know they’re going to wonder why.”

  “We haven’t even told Annalea yet, Kane.”

  “Yeah, which makes me wonder why all the secrecy. Is there something you aren’t telling me?”

  She sighed and shook her head. “I just worry it will be like when I was pregnant with her. I don’t want to get everyone excited and then have something bad happen.”