Zach sat down again, satisfied he’d said his piece and satisfied that he’d been heard. As the discussion continued around him, and he fielded the occasional pat on his shoulder or sidelong comment of “Well said” and “Bravo,” he began to feel the acceptance of his peers within the TCC. While no one had been overtly unfriendly to him as his membership was under consideration, it seemed that any barriers left between him and the other members had fallen on the heels of what he’d had to say. As the meeting drew to a close, Sam Gordon, Lila Hacket’s fiancé, approached.
“Well said, Lassiter. You’ve given me something to think about, thank you. Can I buy you a drink at the bar?”
And there it was, that sense of acceptance. That sense that no matter his background, no matter what he might have done before, here, at the TCC, Zach was a valued and accepted member.
“Thanks, I’d like that, and call me Zach,” he accepted with a shake of the other man’s hand. “Everything sorted out for your wedding this weekend?”
Sam put both hands up in the air in a gesture of surrender. “It’s all out of my hands and that’s the way I’m keeping it. I’m just glad I finally got her to agree to marry me.”
By the time Zach returned home that night, Sam Gordon hadn’t been the only one offering to buy him a drink. In fact, if he’d taken them all up, he’d have been blind drunk in a cab by now, he thought ruefully as he rolled his Cadillac into its space in his multicar garage. Not ready for bed yet, Zach went through to his den, where he threw himself on the sofa and loosened his tie. All in all, today had been a good day.
He picked up the TV remote and started to surf through the channels, but nothing caught his eye. Instead he muted the TV and just sat for a moment, absorbing the quiet that surrounded him.
Normally he didn’t mind being on his own. In fact, by the time his day staff had left the house, he relished it at the end of a hard day. He thought back to the meeting, to how the members had listened to him, allowed him to take charge of the issue, and he realized that the feeling it had left him with was one of happiness.
Zach wasn’t usually the kind of guy to dwell on his feelings, but tonight he couldn’t stop thinking about two things—people, in particular. He knew Alex would have been proud of him tonight. Even though he and his friend had never discussed the child-care center in depth—after all, they were both leading bachelor lifestyles—he had gotten the feeling that Alex was a deeply family-oriented guy. That providing the best for children was as intrinsic to him as turning the best deal or finding the best investors to make that deal happen.
He missed his friend with a physical ache. Missed their late-afternoon debriefings over a beer in the office after everyone else had gone home for the night.
“Where are you, buddy?” he asked out loud, wishing with all his might that somehow, some way, he’d get the answer he wanted.
The only person in the world who could possibly understand how much he missed his friend was Sophie. Just thinking about her gave him a pang in his chest and he realized, despite seeing her each day in the office, that he missed her and what they’d begun to share together just as much as he missed Alex.
Two people absent from his life. Two things that if set to rights could make him feel wholeheartedly happy again.
Could he set to rights the emptiness that now existed between him and Sophie? Did he even want to try? He weighed the pros and cons in his mind, first examining in depth the hurt he’d felt when he’d found her here, in his den, snooping in his private email. Even now he still tasted the anger that had flooded his entire body when she’d admitted why she’d been poking around. The sense of having been taken for a fool, used, by her as she continued with her duplicity.
He’d thought she had genuine feelings for him, had known he was developing them for her. God only knew how long he’d kept her at arm’s length, kept his own desires under lock and key. After Anna, he’d been wary of commencing a new relationship. Then, when the feelings between him and Sophie had swelled to the boiling point, it was no wonder they’d spilled over and combusted the way they had.
The way she’d behaved still had the power to rile him up but, he asked himself for the very first time, if the tables had been turned, if he’d suspected she had information about this business with Alex, what would he have done?
Whatever he could.
The answer echoed in his mind. In reality, Sophie had done no more or less than he would have done in the same situation. The only problem had been that she’d discovered things about his personal life that he’d have preferred, out of respect for Anna and her parents, to keep private.
So why had he been so worried about that? Sophie had proven herself to be nothing but the soul of discretion the whole time she’d worked alongside him. Even now, in the face of what had happened between them—with both the highs and lows of what they’d gone through together—she had kept her counsel. She behaved as if nothing had ever transpired between them, as if the status quo had never been ruffled. As if they had never had the wildest sex he’d enjoyed in a long time on the surface of his desk.
Need punched deep and low in his gut. He missed her, all right. Missed what they’d begun to share, missed what they could have continued to share if only he hadn’t caught her on his laptop that night. If only he had remained rational in the face of her accusations. If only he hadn’t all but banished her from his private life.
It had been the intensity of his protectiveness toward that privacy that he’d reacted to. He could see that now. By keeping Anna and her problems, his problems, secured within a box, he hadn’t had to face his own feelings about what she was going through—or, more importantly, his own grief.
Zach stood and reached into his back trouser pocket for his wallet and opened it. There, behind a plastic shield, was a photo of Blake, taken shortly before the accident that had claimed his son’s life. An accident he, in all honesty, blamed himself for as much as he blamed Anna. If he’d been any kind of husband to her, any decent kind of father, he would have been home that night instead of working late in an attempt to earn a partnership in her father’s investment firm.
What had it all been for, he wondered. After the accident, what was left of their marriage had disintegrated—exposed for the empty, guilt-ridden sham it had been from the start. Zach had resigned his position with Anna’s father’s firm and struck out on his own, quickly getting a reputation for taking risks that paid off, risks that drew Alex Santiago’s attention and his offer of a partnership that had quickly led to a strong friendship based on mutual respect.
He dragged his mind away from his missing friend and back to the woman who linked them. The woman who’d been as concerned as Zach about where Alex was. The woman who’d been prepared to do whatever it took to find out. Could he forgive her for not trusting him, for not trusting herself to even approach him about her concerns?
Of course he could. Sophie was good from the tip of her shining golden head to the soles of her delectable feet. Good in a way he had rarely seen outside of his own parents and good in a way he’d almost forgotten existed within the world he’d chosen to inhabit.
Could he forgive Sophie for what she’d done? Of course he could. In fact, how could he not when he’d already admitted to himself that he would have done exactly the same thing to find information if the tables had been turned?
She was hurting inside just as much as he was, he knew it. He’d caught her gaze upon him several times this past week before she’d rapidly averted it and continued with whatever she’d been doing. But within those beautiful, soft brown eyes he’d seen the longing mixed with pain and regret. He wanted to erase that hurt. Ease that longing.
He wanted Sophie Beldon.
Fourteen
The only good thing about getting to the end of this interminable week, Sophie thought, was being able to look forward to Lila and Sam’s wedding over the weekend. How Lila and her mother had managed to pull something as important as this together in thre
e weeks defied even Sophie’s normally logical and practical mind. They were keeping things small, which made it a great deal more manageable to host at the Double H.
They couldn’t want for a more beautiful setting than the Double H. No matter what anyone said about Beau Hacket, or how stuck in the Dark Ages he appeared to be with regard to a woman’s place in the world, he had worked hard to build a very special home for his family.
She turned her attention away from the wedding and back to the report she was finalizing for Zach. She’d barely seen him today, but a tiny knot of tension in her stomach reminded her he was due any moment.
He’d been visiting the Philmore Clinic again. She was burning to ask him how Anna was doing, but given how strained the atmosphere was between the two of them, she had no idea where to start. A call to the clinic hadn’t elicited any information, either, and had earned a terse remark regarding patient confidentiality. She’d even toyed with phoning Anna’s aunt, except she still had no idea what name the woman went by now and had taken that particular frustration out on the private investigator she’d engaged, and now fired. How difficult should it have been for them, with all their resources, to discover that Anna’s aunt had married—that Anna’s surname had changed and her first name had also been shortened?
Her goal, though, had been reached. She had found her sister, for all the good that it did her.
Sophie’s mother had been over the moon with joy when she had phoned her with the news that she’d found Suzie, but she’d been understandably upset and concerned when Sophie told her how ill her sister was. Sophie had briefly toyed with not telling her mom about Anna’s mental collapse, worried it might raise old demons of guilt that stemmed from letting her daughter go in the first place, but her mother had been stronger than she’d expected and had coped remarkably well with the news. Even now she and Jim were driving their RV back to Royal from the Reagan Library in California, putting their vacation plans on hold indefinitely. Sophie would be glad of their support but until they got here she was on her own.
Sophie looked up as Zach entered the executive suite.
“Any messages?” he asked.
“Nothing today. I guess everyone’s busy getting ready for the wedding tomorrow.”
“About that, do you have a plus one on your invitation?”
“Y-yes, I do,” she answered hesitantly.
Why on earth would he want to know that? She knew he had received his own invitation, one that had arrived by special delivery this morning.
“And? Are you taking anyone with you?”
“No, I’m going on my own,” she said, her spine stiffening in reaction.
“Seems silly for us to take two cars. Why don’t I pick you up about three, we can go together?”
She stood there stunned into silence.
“What?” he asked. “You don’t think that’s a good idea?”
“I’m just confused, is all. Especially after…”
“I’ll pick you up at three,” he reiterated. “Now, if there’s nothing else that’s urgent today, we may as well finish up for the week.”
Sophie didn’t need to be told twice. She’d booked an appointment at Saint Tropez, the upscale spa and hair salon in town, for early tomorrow morning. Me and half of the invited wedding guests, she’d thought when she’d been forced to accept an early-morning appointment. Now she was glad she’d gone ahead with it. If she was to spend any time in Zach’s company at the wedding, she’d need the armor of perfect hair, face and nails. All the better to claw him with? She almost laughed out loud at the thought. As if she’d ever get that close to him again.
*
Tears stung Sophie’s eyes as she watched Lila and Sam walk together down the aisle toward the celebrant. They’d decided to forgo attendants and the usual traditions, saying they came to this marriage together and that’s exactly how they wanted it. Their vows were simple and poignant, each one a very personal testament to the love they shared and the promises they now made to each other. Their shared joy shone through their voices and their eyes, eyes they could barely take off one another throughout the short ceremony.
A gentle breeze blew softly against the bride’s diaphanous strapless gown, exposing the soft roundness of her early pregnancy as if with a loving caress. And when the bride and groom kissed, there was an uproar from the crowd as congratulations, whistles and applause filled the air. Finally united as man and wife, they turned to face the gathering, their happiness beaming over everyone present.
While Sophie wished her friend all of the very best, she couldn’t help but feel a chasm opening between their lives. Lila was married now, with a family on the way and with a bright successful career. Before, Sophie had barely felt the difference between herself and her married friends, but today in particular created a wistful ache deep in her chest. She was no closer now to long-term happiness than she’d been five years ago, than she’d maybe even be in another five years. It was an incredibly painful truth, and hard to bear—even more so watching Lila’s wedding while the man Sophie loved with all her heart, but whom she could never have, stood at her side.
Sophie felt a gentle nudge against her arm.
“Here,” Zach said softly.
She looked down, surprised to see a crisply ironed white handkerchief in his hand. She touched a hand to her cheek, surprised to find the tears she’d thought she’d contained liberally running down her face—no doubt ruining the makeup applied so carefully at Saint Tropez that morning.
“Thanks,” she said, her voice husky, and dabbed carefully at her eyes and cheeks.
“It was a beautiful ceremony,” he said simply.
“Yes, it was. Perfect.” Her voice closed on a hitch. “Ex-excuse me, please.”
She couldn’t bear it a second longer; she needed a moment or two to herself. Without waiting for Zach’s response, Sophie turned and pushed her way through the well-wishers crowded around the happy couple and made for one of the guest bathrooms inside the main house. Once inside, she locked the door firmly behind her. She leaned against the solid wood, dropping her head back and closing her eyes, now acutely aware of the hot, inexorable slide of tears down her cheeks.
Pull it together, she told herself sharply. You’re happy for Sam and Lila. Thrilled that they’ve pulled the threads of their attraction together into a tightly woven future. And she was truly happy for them—just insanely miserable for herself.
She pushed off the door, opened her eyes and stepped up to the cream marble vanity unit, turning on the cold tap with a vicious twist before thrusting her hands under the cool, gushing water. As it poured over her wrists, she began to calm down, get control of the crazy emotions that ran rampant through her body.
So she’d failed with Zach. She’d abused his trust and she’d failed, coming up with a big fat zero. She could overcome this. There was nothing keeping her in Royal, not now with her mom happily remarried and enjoying her retirement traveling around the country in a luxury RV. She could relocate, find another job somewhere else. Maybe even in Midland. No one said she had to stay in Maverick County. Maybe she could travel farther afield to Dallas or Houston, or even out of state. Her savings and her skills could travel with her and she’d proven over and over again while she was growing up that she could pretty much make a home anywhere.
But what about Anna? a little voice deep inside her asked. Now you’ve found her, do you really want to go away?
Sophie met her gaze in her reflection in the gilt-edged mirror. Could she honestly do it? Could she walk away from the sister she’d been searching for? The sister she’d missed from her life for the past twenty-two years?
No. She couldn’t walk away now. Even if she couldn’t tell Anna who she was right now, eventually she’d be well enough and Sophie wanted to be there when that happened—for both their sakes. She was just going to have to suck it up, plaster over her broken heart and keep on going. Besides, she couldn’t let Alex down now, wherever he was.
Ma
tter-of-factly, Sophie opened her clutch and took out her lipstick and powder. There wasn’t much she could do to repair her eye makeup, but thankfully the reception was outdoors and she could probably get away with wearing her sunglasses. She did the best she could to repair the ravages of her tears and then straightened in front of the mirror, pulling her shoulders back and meeting herself square in the eye.
“You can do this,” she said firmly. “You’re strong, you’re intelligent, you’re in control. You will survive.”
She spied Zach’s handkerchief on the vanity and shoved it in her clutch. No doubt he’d prefer it returned without the streaks of mascara and foundation that currently marred its pristine whiteness. She’d launder it for him and return it on Monday.
With one last check in the mirror, Sophie opened the door and walked straight into the last man on earth she expected to see waiting for her.
“I was getting ready to knock the door down. Are you okay?”
“Have you been waiting here all this time?” she asked, incredulous and a little embarrassed.
What if he’d heard her little pep talk to herself in there? She stifled an inner groan of dismay.
“When you didn’t immediately come back, I got worried. Then when you didn’t come out of the bathroom I began to get even more worried.”
“Well, thank you, but you didn’t need to bother. I’m fine,” she breathed with an insouciance she was far from feeling.
“They’re asking everyone to take their seats at the tables. We’re together,” he said, offering her his arm.
Of course they were seated together, she thought with a tiny sigh. Could today get any worse? She put her hand in the crook of his elbow and tried to ignore the instant flare of heat that burned from her fingertips to the very center of her being. Of course it could, but she’d get through it. She had to.
Fifteen
Something about the Boss... Page 12