by Sable Hunter
Cecile covered her mouth trying to stall the tears. “Ceelee? Baby? I‘m coming to Dallas. I‘m leaving in just a few minutes.”
God! His voice sounded so sweet. But she couldn’t. She just couldn’t. “No. No.” She grabbed her heart. “I heard what you said Bobby, and I don’t want to see you. Please don’t call again.” She slammed the phone down before she could change her mind.
*****
Bobby tried calling her back. Over and over again – hour after hour – but she wouldn’t answer. He knew that Annalise had called her, and the only thing his new sister-in-law would tell him was that she wouldn’t see him and wouldn’t take his calls. What the hell happened? What did she mean that she had heard what he said?
He had to force himself to take care of his business. Standing in his room, drying off after his shower, he stared at the bed where they had made love. Unable to help himself, he lay down on the bed and buried his head in her pillow. God, it still smelled like her. Groaning, he remembered how her skin had felt under his fingers, and how soft her lips had been when they would kiss. How was he supposed to deal with this?
Dragging himself up, he dressed. As bad as he hated to, he had promised to meet Mary Alice at the rodeo arena. He’d rather go to the dentist – and he hated the dentist. When he sat down to put on his boots, he found Ceelee’s little pink lace panties under the edge of the bed. Picking them up, he buried his face in them – the scent made him crazy – aroused and sad all at the same time. He sat there for as long as he could, but soon it was time for him to go. He stood up, folded the scrap of pink lace and placed it reverently under his pillow – it was all he had left.
Mary Alice was waiting for him. She looked horrible. When he opened his door, she was in his face before he could say a word. “I’m pregnant.”
Bobby felt like he had been knocked in the head with a two-by-four. “What?”
“I’m pregnant, and I don’t know what to do.” She burst into tears and fell into his arms and he couldn’t do anything but hold her up. It wouldn’t have been polite to let her slide down to the ground in a heap.
“How far along are you?” Could he be the father? Hell! This was all he needed.
“Two months,” she sobbed.
God, it fit. But he knew Mary Alice. And it didn’t speak well for him, but he good and well knew that he wasn’t the only one that she had sex with during that same time frame. But he didn’t want to be a jerk and point that out – maybe, she would. “Have you been to the doctor to be sure?”
“Yes, and I don’t want to have an abortion.” Her voice trembled with despair.
Bobby didn’t hesitate. “I don’t think you should have an abortion, either.” Flashes of his future was bombarding his eyes. What if it were his? What about Ceelee? What about Dallas? What would Ethan and Alex say?
“I’m not saying it’s your baby, Bobby. But it could be – and –“ her voice broke. “To tell you the truth, I hope it is.”
Ah, shit. “Let’s not get the cart before the horse, Mary Alice. We’ll have to talk about this and have some tests run. But if it’s my baby – I won’t turn my back on it, I can promise you that.” He didn’t know what he was promising – not forever, that was for sure. Because of Ceelee. My God, how could he tell her? For the first time, he was relieved that Ceelee was in Dallas and he was not.
*****
Cecile stood in front of the bathroom mirror and washed her face. She was a wreck. Her skin was splotchy, her eyes were red, and her nose was swollen from the crying jags. Reaching into the medicine cabinet, she took out her birth control tablets. Opening the round container, she started to take out a caplet. And froze. What was the deal? The pills from last month were still there. How could that be? Unease washed over her. Crap! The turmoil with Carl must have got her completely off-balanced. She stood there for a moment and stared at herself. She could be pregnant. With Bobby’s child. They had had unprotected sex over and over again.
She counted to ten and waited for the dread and remorse to come. It didn’t. Huh! Bobby’s child. He would be beautiful. And hers.
*****
“She’s what!?!?!” Ethan bellowed. “Bobby! Damnit!” Ethan couldn’t believe that Bobby had gotten himself into such a mess.
“It’s not certain that I’m the father,” Bobby tried to maintain his cool. He was doing a pretty good job of it, until he looked up and saw Annalise pinning him with a disappointed stare. God, what if she told Ceelee? “Lise, don’t . . .” he began.>
“Don’t what, Bobby?” Annalise walked into the room with them. Even though she was put out with him, she still hugged him. Bobby was loved.
“I was going to say – don’t tell Ceelee about Mary Alice, but she probably wouldn’t care anyway.” Bobby bent over, holding his Stetson between his legs. “What am I going to do?”
Ethan stretched his long legs out in front of him and accepted the cup of coffee that ‘Lise handed to him. He patted his knee and she settled herself down to snuggle. “You’re going to find out if that baby is yours – and if it is, we’ll deal with it. The baby will be a Stewart and we don’t turn our back on family. But that doesn’t mean you have to throw your whole future away because of one poor choice – you’re going to go ahead with your plans. If you get drafted by Dallas – you play for Dallas. If Ceelee will take you back,” he patted his brother on the back, knowing full well how he was feeling, “you hold your arms out and welcome her home.” With that sage bit of advice, he kissed his wife – thoroughly.
*****
She was pregnant. Cecile hugged herself close. She was pregnant with Bobby’s baby. Picking up the phone, she did the only thing she could – she called Annalise on her cell. She still wasn’t ready to talk to Bobby. But, she had to talk to someone. “Cecile?”
“Hey, how are you?”
“I’m fine. How are you?” Was there something in her voice?
“What’s wrong? I can tell something is wrong.” A dozen things ran through her mind. “Is it Scarlet?”
“No, the operation was successful and they’re both doing well. In fact, they’re on their way to Graceland on their honeymoon.”
“That’s a relief.” Cecile was sincere. The whole family was important to her.
“It’s Bobby.”
Cecile’s heart jumped. Visions of a mammoth bull stomping Bobby into the ground had haunted Cecile’s dreams. “Is he all right? He hasn’t been hurt, has he?”
“No, nothing like that.” There was that tone again.
“Tell me.” She was insistent.
“He’s just going through some stuff. I wish you’d talk to him. He misses you, so much.“ Annalise began. “I’ve never seen him like this.”
“I can’t,” Cecile stated a little too fast. “Not yet.” Dead silence. Cecile suspected they each knew the other was hiding something, but neither wanted to discuss it.
“What’s up with you? Did you get my chapters I sent you, yesterday?” She had, but she hadn’t looked at them. Cecile had been too preoccupied with baby thoughts.
But what else did she have? It wasn’t like she could tell the truth. So Cecile jumped on the topic change. That was as good an excuse as any. “Yes, I got them and I wanted you to know that I’m sending you a cover mock-up. You let me know what you think. Okay?”
Annalise was a little confused. This was the type of thing that they handled by email all the time. She wondered if there was more going on than what she was hearing. “Are you sure that’s why you called?”
Cecile let out a ragged sigh. “I’m pregnant.”
“What?” Annalise roared. Cecile had to hold the phone away from her ear.
“It’s Bobby’s, of course.” And then it hit Cecile what position Annalise was in. This was no longer just her best friend. This was the sister-in-law of the man she loved. “And you can’t tell him, Annalise. I mean it.”
“Oh, my God,” ‘Lise sounded horrified.
“I’m not unhappy about it, Annalise.”
Cecile wanted that known up front. This was her child and there would never be a moment when he or she might think they were ever unwanted. “You just can’t tell Bobby. Understand?”
“Now how am I supposed to keep a secret like that?” Cecile heard her huff in exasperation. “I’m with him every day. Are you feeling well? Have you been to the doctor?”
“I have, and I’m as healthy as a horse.” The release of the tension that Cecile had been living under made her giddy, and she giggled. “And you have to keep the secret. I’ll tell him when I figure out how – this isn’t easy for me, you know.”
On her end, Annalise had pulled up a chair and sat down to fan herself. Two babies? It was almost funny – except it wasn’t. Poor Bobby. The woman he wanted was pregnant with his child, and determined to keep it from him. The woman he didn’t want was flaunting the possibility to high heaven. It had already hit the gossip rags; Bobby was too big of a personality for something like this to be kept quiet. Annalise just hoped that Cecile wouldn’t run across the articles. “I won’t tell, but you’re asking a lot. I don’t know if I’m that good of an actress.”
“Do it for me, Annalise.” Cecile lowered her voice to a near whisper. “And take care of Bobby for me, please. Our time together didn’t mean the same thing to him that it did to me, but I’ll never forget him. He gave me a gift that no one else ever has. He made me realize that I am worthy of a man’s love.” It hadn’t lasted – but, at lease she knew it was possible.
*****
Sometime in January
Thank God! Bobby opened his truck door and pulled himself in. At least that nightmare was over and dealt with. Mary Alice was pregnant with Prescott Ford’s baby, not his. Prescott was a bull-dogger that she had hooked up with occasionally. The only problem for Mary was Prescott was married to a woman with oil. And there was no way he would leave his wife for the buckle bunny. More than likely, Prescott’s wife would solve this problem with money. There were rampant rumors that she had done this several times before.
He watched as Mary pulled her little foreign car out into the traffic. Maybe they had both learned a lesson from this. He pulled out behind her, but his destination was the forty acres, so he made a left at the next light and headed back to campus. Today was the day. He’d had a meeting, earlier, with a Dallas rep, and before the day was over he would know if the offer would be made. Thoughts of Cecile were never far from his mind. What was she doing? God, he hoped she hadn’t seen the news speculation about him. The coach had given him a hard time – told him to rein in his dick or they were going to make him wear a chastity belt. Bobby had said what he had to – told the coach that he had learned his lesson and wouldn’t fall into that trap again. And he wouldn’t. He didn’t want anybody but Cecile. And he was going to do whatever it took to win her back.
*****
“Hey, boss. Did you hear the news on Bobby Stewart?” Cecile almost dropped her coffee cup. Her secretary didn’t know about her fling with Bobby, but she did know of Cecile’s association with the family. Just hearing his name made every nerve in her body jump.
“What news?”
“He’s had a rough time. Some girl accused him of fathering his child.” That was all she let the poor girl say. With one swoop, she tore the magazine from her hands and headed to her office and shut the door. She’d worry about explaining herself later.
Not waiting to sit down, Cecile devoured the article. Reading quickly, she let out a sigh of relief. It wasn’t his. The woman had a paternity test and Bobby was off the hook. Weak in the knees, Cecile found her chair. And then she read words that were like a knife in her heart. Bobby was quoted as saying, “I would stand by any woman that was pregnant with my child. But I have to tell you – with everything that’s going on in my life right now – being a father at this stage in my life is the last thing I want.”
*****
"I want to see you."
Those words were more a surprise to her than any she could have heard. What could Carl possibly want?
"Why?" Cecile wasn't in the mood to take any crap off of him. She was nauseous, her feet were swelling and she felt a little on the mean side.
"I need to apologize to you about something. Please. This is important to me." Carl's voice wasn’t whining, but it was close.
"All right." Cecile gave in. She had to admit, her curiosity was aroused. In all of the years they had been together, Carl had never apologized to her about anything. "Come on over, I can spare you a few minutes."
She took the intervening time to pull herself together. It had been hard. Bobby hadn't given up, and to tell you the truth – her resolve to keep him at a distance had begun to weaken. Annalise had really given her something to think about – she said that Bobby wrote her a letter every day, sealed it in an envelope and give it to Annalise to either keep for her or forward to her address. All Bobby had asked was that ‘Lise do her best to get Cecile to read his letters. That news had really made her think. She had done the only thing her heart would allow; she had asked Annalise to send the letters to her.
The last conversation she had with Lise still rang in her ears, "He's changed, Cecile. Bobby Stewart is no longer a playboy. He hasn't had a date with a woman since you left."
Cecile had tried to explain it. "That's probably because of that pregnancy scare with that rodeo queen." Jealous much?
"I'm sure that had something to do with it," Annalise admitted. "Mostly it’s because of you. And I have a box of love letters all written to you to prove it."
"Letters?" Every girl loves a love lett had bbsp;
“He writes one every day.” Annalise's voice grew serious. "You need to talk to him, Cecile. Bobby really loves you."
"What about the baby?" She couldn't forget what he had said in the magazine article.
"He would be on top of the world about that baby, and you know it." Her best friend was very convincing. But Cecile had lived in a vacuum of self-doubt for so long that she had a hard time believing that someone could love her that much. Carl had done a job on her – and she might never fully recover.
"Send me the letters. I'll email you my address." Annalise had refused to find out where Cecile had moved to, she was afraid that she would give in to Bobby's pleas.
"All right!" Triumph was obvious in Annalise's tone. "Bobby and you are meant to be. You'll see."
Cecile didn't know about that, but the opportunity to read his thoughts was too big of a temptation to pass up.
"Come in." She let Carl in. He had lost weight. Funny how time can change your perspective of a person. Where once there had been resentment and anger – now there was something akin to remorse – remorse for time wasted and remorse for so many unkind things that had been said.
Carl moved into the room about six feet and stopped. He looked around at the home she had created for herself. It looked completely different from the living space that they had shared. Gone was the modern art and the sleek leather furniture; instead, there were warm colors, soft fabrics and a collection of original artwork by Texas artists. Anyone who knew her association with Bobby Stewart would know she collected the western prints and sculpture to draw his memory closer to her. "Nice place."
"Thank you. Would you like to sit down?" She couldn't imagine what they had to talk about.
He went into her living room and set on the edge of the blue sectional sofa. "I want you back, Cecile."
If he told her that he was giving her a million dollars, it wouldn't have shocked her more. "What? Why?" Cecile stammered and stuttered. "You didn't want me when you had me. Why would you want me back?" Not that she was tempted, at all.
"I lied to you, Cecile." Carl's face was haggard as if he d just been rescued from a castaway's prison.
"What about?" This couldn't be good.
"I lied to you about your appeal, your sexiness, your desirability – all of it." He looked at her with such wistfullness that Cecile backed away, afraid that he was going to try and embrace her.
She was stunned. Surely, she hadn't heard him right. "You lied to me? Why? For what purpose?" Her whole reality was becoming hazy. What could he mean?"
"You were never frigid. It was all my fault." He didn't reach for her; instead he slumped over and put his head in his hands. "The problems were mine, not yours. I was too proud to tell you that I couldn't get it up for anybody. I've always been attracted to you. I still am."
This was pitiful. She was actually feeling sorry for the jerk. "What do you mean? What kind of problem did you have that was so bad you couldn't be honest with me?"
"I have a prostate condition. It's genetic. The medication that I have to take renders me impotent. I was embarrassed." His confession didn't do a thing to make Cecile feel better.
"So you're telling me that to save yourself from embarrassment, you led me to believe that I was a failure as a woman – a dud in bed – so undesirable that my own husband couldn't bring himself to fuck me?" She was livid.
"I've changed medications. I can get hard now. And I want you back. I love you, Cecile."
He looked so sincere. Cecile was speechless. She stood up and walked across the room. At one time these words would have been music to her ears. Not anymore. Besides, everything had changed. And she might as well tell him – it wouldn't be a secret much longer.
"I'm not going to take you back, Carl. I've moved on. I'm pregnant with another man's child."
His face grew red, and for a moment Cecile was afraid that he might become violent. She moved to the other side of the bar – putting as much distance between them as she could.
"You're pregnant?" He said the words slowly, as if he were frozen with disdain. "That was fast. Have you been having an affair on me all this time? I should have known. Any floozy who would go down on her knees and take a man's cock in her mouth uninvited, is just showing her true colors."