Learning to Trust

by Cynthia P. O'Neill

  “I’ve sent a couple of resumes down that direction, but didn’t want to go where I didn’t have any family. But, for you, I’d reconsider. Do you even have to ask about being roommates? You know I love you like a sister.”

  Grace didn’t stop smiling once I said the word “Florida.” I knew it was her lifelong dream to live there, thanks to all the entertainment and activities that were available, but also because of the amount of medical technology and potential sales in the area. This would be a perfect place for her to work.

  “I’ll go ahead and do a search for job openings and start submitting my resume,” she excitedly declared. “Could you do me a favor, though, Laurel?”

  I was always happy to help Grace, especially since she did so much to help me deal with my emotions about Chase. “What do you need?”

  “If it looks like you’re getting a job offer, could you ask if he has any good contacts in pharmaceutical sales?”

  “You know I will.” My face started reflecting Grace’s smiles. “Hate to cut this short, Cuz, but need to get back to my studying. I’ll give you a call Monday to let you know how things went with the interview. Good luck with your exams.”

  “Thanks, you too! Talk to you soon.”

  I could have easily talked with Grace for hours. We were sounding boards for each other, always have been; we met at a family reunion when we were little and instantly hit it off. I was beyond lucky to have her.

  The rest of the week went by in a blur. My senior project was done and I was finally satisfied that I’d been able to get the range of motion I’d been attempting, especially the rotation capacity in the wrist area on my prosthetic arm. Dr. Leonard seemed equally satisfied with the end result, giving me a near perfect score of 98 out of 100.

  When my last final exam was done; I felt the release of weight being lifted from my shoulders. Now I could work on packing up my dorm room and focusing on my interview.

  I was in the midst of packing my books when Hannah bolted into the room and threw her books onto the bed, proclaiming “Thank goodness finals are over forever!” She flopped onto the bed with a contented sigh. “Why are you packing now? Are you in a hurry to leave?”

  “No, just needed something to do to keep me busy,” I responded politely and continued about my work.

  “Have you eaten yet, Laurel?”

  “Not yet, why?”

  “Okay, grab your purse, we’re going out to enjoy a nice celebratory meal with some friends and just enjoy tonight,” she insisted.

  “But I’m not dressed to go out.” I had on my comfortable faded slim jeans, sneakers, and my favorite light pink, square-necked t-shirt, along with the thin gold chain and heart charm my parents had given me for Christmas last year.

  I was about to object again when I saw her arms folded and her foot tapping up and down on the floor. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. You look fabulous; besides, we’re just going to let off some steam.”

  I knew there was no arguing with her when she was this insistent, so I obediently grabbed my purse and followed her.

  Hannah had texted several of her friends telling them where we were headed and asked them to join us. She selected Brinker’s Pub, a fun place several miles from campus that served an eclectic array of food and drinks.

  It didn’t take long for about ten of her friends to show up, with the promise of more to come later. The pub was kind enough to seat us where the tables could be pushed together to form as much space as we needed.

  The food was delicious, but a bit pricey. I loved their Boston Blue Burger with a side salad, but knew I had to make the remainder of my money last through graduation, so despite being ravenous, I opted for a glass of water and the cheeseburger slider appetizer.

  When the waitress brought back all the drinks, mostly beers and a few sodas, to celebrate the end of school, she placed a diet cola and a pineapple juice with coconut rum in front of me, my favorite, rather than the water. Before I could tell her that she had given me the wrong drink, she scurried off towards the kitchen, calling, “Your food will be right up.”

  When the food was delivered, it wasn’t the appetizer plate, but the Boston Blue Burger and side salad. “Miss, I think you gave me someone else’s plate by mistake. The same with the drink order, too; I requested a glass of water.”

  “Everyone has their orders correct, ma’am,” she replied nicely, while gesturing her hand around the table at everyone eating.

  “But I don’t have enough cash to pay for all this, which is why I didn’t order it.” My voice was becoming a bit frustrated and I was worried everyone would hear me arguing with the waitress.

  “Not to worry, ma’am. Someone substituted this for your order and your bill has already been taken care of.”

  I started looking around in a panic, worried Chase was here, even though I knew he was working as a mechanical engineer at his father’s development firm in New Jersey. Hannah noticed my nervousness and began searching the pub for any sign of the jerk. Thankfully, the place wasn’t crowded and there was no sign of him anywhere.

  The waitress leaned close to whisper, “The gentleman is still here at the pub, but has asked to remain anonymous. He did want to wish you a ‘Happy Graduation.’ If you’d like, I can take it away and dump it and bring you the order you requested?”

  After four years of scrimping and saving to make it through school, I wasn’t about to waste food. However, the idea of someone knowing exactly what I liked and being present in the pub unnerved me to no end. “I guess I’ll take it. Please tell this person that I appreciate their kindness, but wish they wouldn’t be so secretive.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  Hannah wrapped her arm around my shoulder and pulled me in close to where she could whisper without anyone hearing us. “Enjoy the night. I haven’t seen the sleazeball anywhere. Apparently you have an admirer somewhere in the pub?”

  I felt reassured with her words and picked up a knife to cut the hamburger in half. The food was exactly as I remembered, heavenly, and the pineapple and rum drink divine. I nursed the drink slowly through the course of the meal and then focused on my diet soda. The waitress offered a refill on the alcoholic beverage, but I declined.

  Suddenly feeling a pair of eyes on me, I began to scan the room to see where the source of my uneasiness was coming from. It was on my second sweep of the room when my eyes locked onto something familiar; those enticing emerald green eyes from the lab last week were staring straight at me. He was as gorgeous as I remembered, though this time he had a bemused smiled on his face.

  A rush of heat flooded my core as butterflies stirred in my belly. I couldn’t understand how this man was able to elicit such an emotion from me, especially since I attempted to block all feeling from my life. I stayed locked in his gaze until the gentleman next to him at the bar asked him a question and he had to turn to respond.

  He was dressed very casually in a maroon polo shirt, faded jeans, and sneakers; he looked more like a student than a businessman. I began to wonder if he’d been touring the campus, as one of the sons of a benefactor, contemplating attending the school. But his appearance seemed to place his age as late twenties, possibly even early thirties. It wasn’t uncommon for us to have older students in the classroom, but this guy looked too good in a suit to be going back to school.

  He watched me throughout the night and I found my eyes drawn to him. Every time I looked up, he would smile, making my heart skip a beat. I finally escaped to the restroom for a few minutes to collect my thoughts and hoped that Hannah would be ready to go back to the dorms soon.

  I paced back and forth in the tiny stall, trying to figure it out. Who was he? Did he switch my food order? How did he know what I liked to eat? Why is he here? How can I repay him for his kindness?

  I was at a loss for what to do, so I opted to head back to my table and see what Hannah’s thoughts were. I kept my head down, not wanting to make eye contact with him, so of course I bumped into someone and
dropped my purse onto the floor, its contents spilling everywhere.

  I kept my head down, too embarrassed to make eye contact. “I’m so sorry, I need to watch where I’m going,” I said, frantically shoving keys and lip gloss and tampons back into my bag.

  The music was blasting; I could barely make out a male voice. “Not to worry. I should’ve sidestepped you.”

  His voice sounded familiar, but the pounding bass in the background kept me from placing it. I began to stand up, thinking I had retrieved all of my items, when I faintly heard, “Wait! You forgot this.”

  His fingers brushed against mine as he passed me my cell phone. I risked a glance at my knight in shining armor and instantly fell onto my backside, not expecting his emerald eyes and captivating smile to be right in front of me.

  “Are you okay?” he asked, trying to raise his voice loud enough that I could hear over the intense volume of the music.

  I couldn’t find my voice and only managed to nod. He smiled and offered his hands to help me up. As I grabbed hold of them, a strange pulse of electricity surged through my core and I felt flushed by the contact.

  Once on my feet, I began to sway; I’d stood up too fast. One of his hands came to rest on the small of my back while the other grabbed hold of my shoulder to steady me. When my balance returned, he didn’t let go but drew me close up against him.

  “Do you have your balance yet?” he asked.

  I was overwhelmed by his closeness and the need to get away, though I managed to nod in answer to his question. I finally looked up into his eyes and whispered my thanks, then hurried off to find Hannah, hoping I could convince her it was time to go back to the dorms.

  Hannah had just ordered another drink and asked if we could stay long enough for her to finish it and then handed me her keys, letting me know I would be the one driving back. That’s when I realized one of the reasons for my invite tonight was to be the designated driver; as usual.

  Mr. Green Eyes had returned to the bar and smiled warmly whenever our eyes met. I, on the other hand, didn’t return his smile and instead averted my eyes whenever he noticed me staring.

  He started to take a step forward in our direction; Hannah noticed and piped up loudly. “Man, is he sizzling hot!” She turned back to me and started turning a little green. “I’m not feeling good, Laurel,” she managed to say. “Can you drive us home now?”

  I knew she was feeling the effects of the alcohol. Early in our college life, we both discovered an inability to hold much alcohol. I usually opted for just one, maybe two drinks, tops, while she would push for more, resulting in a night of misery and nausea.

  I got up, grabbed our purses, and guided one of her arms around my shoulder, slipping my arm around her waist to steady her. We started heading towards the door, managing only a couple of feet at a time, when I felt a warm hand on my shoulder and a strange-yet-familiar surge of electricity run through me.

  “Do you need some help?”

  I glanced back to see him standing right behind me. “Thanks, but we’re good,” I replied, pushing Hannah to walk a little faster.

  Hannah stumbled slightly and he grabbed hold of her before she could take both of us down. That’s all I’d need, to fall twice in front of him. How embarrassing!

  “At least let me help you get her to your car,” he offered.

  Realizing he wasn’t going to back down, I nodded and led the way. “She’s parked right over there,” I said, pointing to Hannah’s red BMW 328i. I opened the passenger side door as he gently slid her in, allowing me to buckle her.

  “Are you going to be okay to drive home and get her back to her room?” he asked chivalrously.

  “I think we can manage. There isn’t much of a walk from the parking lot to our dorm room.” I didn’t want to be rude, so I added, “Thank you for your help tonight.”

  “You’re quite welcome. I hope that I’ll get to see you around sometime; maybe soon,” he said with a wink and a smile before turning on his heels and walking back into the pub.

  I don’t know why, but my heart felt as though a piece of me walked away, never to return. I’d made it a point to shut off as much emotion as possible since Chase, not wanting to allow myself to feel used, hurt, or embarrassed. I didn’t know this guy from Adam, yet these new feelings, these strange, foreign, electric feelings, made me almost upset that I didn’t get his name; upset over the thought of never seeing him again. Why?

  “What are you doing, Laurel?” Hannah asked groggily as I stood, staring into my closet.

  “Welcome back to the living. I was beginning to wonder if you were going to sleep the day away; it’s already the middle of the afternoon,” I teased. I couldn’t hide my smile. I walked over and gave her a glass of water and a couple of ibuprofen capsules. “Take these and see if that helps your headache.”

  She held her head in her hands, probably feeling as miserable as she looked; a hangover isn’t a good look for anyone. “Ugh,” she moaned, taking the water. “Thanks, Laurel.”

  I went back over to the fridge and grabbed one of the juices I kept on hand and offered it to her. “Here’s some orange juice. It should help raise your sugar levels and ease your head fog.”

  “You’re a lifesaver.” She looked embarrassed by her actions. “I’m sorry for last night. You’d think that after a few years, I would’ve finally learned my limits with alcohol.”

  Her face looked a little perplexed, as though she were remembering something. “Did some hot guy help carry me to the car?”

  “I’m surprised you remember that. I thought you were out cold.”

  “All I remember was how gorgeous he was and wishing I’d been able to form a coherent sentence to talk with him,” Hannah admitted.

  “I don’t know that I want to talk to him,” I said rather curtly. “He’s THE guy that I told you about the other day; the one from the lab; the one I’ve been dreaming about.”

  “No way!” she cried. There’s nothing like boys to perk up Hannah.

  “I wonder if he’s who sent the food and drinks over last night, because he stared at me the entire time we were at the pub.” I continued on about running into him outside of the bathroom and spilling my purse. I shook my head in disbelief at my reaction to him. “Hannah, I made such a fool of myself, falling on my ass when our hands touched and I looked at his face. It was like an electric shock went through me. I don’t understand how he could illicit such a reaction from me.”

  “You’re such a dork, Laurel. You can’t keep everyone at a distance forever. You need to open up! Start living life and stop treating everything like it’s a science experiment!”

  She smiled knowingly. “It seems like he’s smitten with you and you’re caught in his love spell.” Leave it to her to gyrate her hips to emphasize a point. “Did you get his name at least?”

  “I don’t know who he is. I thought maybe he was one of the benefactors or headhunters they brought through, but now I’m not sure. He did say that he hoped to see me around sometime soon.”

  Hannah’s hands came together in a clap of excitement, “Sounds like someone has the hots for you! I bet you see him again soon. But, this time remember to get Mr. Beefcake’s name!”

  The whole discussion was starting to make me feel uncomfortable, so I tried to change the subject. “Can I get your help with something, when you’re feeling more like yourself?”

  “Sure. What do you need?” she said as she got up from the bed.

  “I haven’t been on an actual interview before, so I’m not quite sure what to wear or what they ask. I was wondering if you could help me pick out an appropriate outfit and decide how to wear my hair?”

  Her eyes brightened and a smile spread across her face. “You mean a makeover?”

  “I guess you could say that, though I don’t want anything drastic, just something that says professional and respectable.”

  She clapped her hands together excitedly. “I finally get to make you over! New Laurel, here we come!” Sh
e headed towards the bathroom. “Let me just grab a quick shower and then we can see what kind of clothes we have to work with.”

  Many hours and several outfits later, we came to the conclusion that I didn’t have a good interview suit. Luckily, Hannah and I wore close to the same size clothing and shoes.

  She walked over to her closet and pulled out a gray pinstriped jacket and matching skirt, a white sleeveless blouse with ruffled collar, and a pair of black, open-toed slingbacks.

  “I can’t possibly wear this. These are your clothes and the heels are too high and—” I tried to object.

  She gently laid the outfit over the back of my desk chair and placed the shoes on the floor. “Just do me a favor and try them on to see how they look.”

  I changed quickly, and to my surprise, everything fit perfectly; it looked professional and, at the same time, emphasized curves I didn’t even know existed. I was a little uncomfortable with how low the shirt plunged; it exposed a small portion of my cleavage and I was a no visual cleavage kind of girl.

  “You look amazing, Laurel,” Hannah gushed. “The coloring really complements your skin tone, and the cut is perfect for your body; it’s as if the suit was meant to be yours. In fact, just keep it; I have plenty of suits and I’m already done with my interviewing. Besides, the shoes hurt my feet.”

  My face began to flush at her compliment. “I couldn’t possibly keep this; it belongs to you. I don’t mind borrowing it, but I’m not sure the top works for me.”

  She laughed a little at my uneasiness. “The suit and shoes are yours, end of story. My mom bought them for me, but the coloring is all wrong for my skin tone and washes me out completely. Plus, the shoes are a half size too small and kill my feet. The outfit really enhances your outer beauty and makes you look so professional. Besides, it doesn’t show much; just don’t bend over and you should be fine.”