Learning to Trust

by Cynthia P. O'Neill

  He finished the last of his salad and took another sip of wine before admitting, in a rather stern voice, “It’s not that hard to figure you out, Laurel. The amount of time you spent in the bathroom was the first indication that you have reservations about the proposal. You’ve been fidgeting in your seat since we sat down and haven’t finished your salad. Plus, Miss Hart, you just called me Mr. Andrews. I don’t tolerate this form of behavior well and if this wasn’t a business dinner, I would smack that lovely backside of yours to teach you a lesson.”

  My mind screamed. What the hell did he just say? Did he just say something about smacking my backside? I could feel my jaw drop open and my eyes bug out from his rather forward statement.

  He leaned close to me in my chair and spoke softly. “I apologize for my words, Laurel; I’m just a little frustrated that you haven’t jumped at what we’re offering you. I don’t know what more I can do to entice you to work for the company. I had hoped the offer would be sweet enough to seal the deal.”

  Still in shock, I somehow managed to find my voice. “Your apology is accepted. The terms of the job proposal are enticing; actually, much more than I’d bargained for. I can easily move to Orlando in the time allotted, since I have to leave the dorms by the end of the week anyway. I’m able to start work soon. However, the issue is a promise I made to my family. I had agreed to spend some time with them after graduation before starting work. If I need to start a week from yesterday, that doesn’t give me much opportunity.” I paused for a moment, taking another sip of wine, before starting in on my negotiation tactics. “I realize that vacation time isn’t granted for new hires. However, I’d like the opportunity to spend a little time with my family within the first few months of work. I haven’t had any time with them since Christmas break and due to their work schedules they’ll only get to see me the day of graduation before having to fly back the following morning.”

  Garrett’s shoulders appeared to relax and he leaned back in his chair. “There should be no problem accommodating your request. We’ve actually had to make similar concessions for past new hires. I understand the need to spend time with one’s family. Do we have a deal, Laurel?” He offered his hand to me.

  I extended my hand, feeling a sudden wave of confidence. “Yes, Garrett, we have a deal.”

  The next course arrived at the table, a grilled filet mignon; his was a larger cut, the waiter explained, with a Roquefort cheese blend with a walnut crust, a ruby red onion confit and a bordelaise sauce. The sommelier poured a red Sauvignon and allowed Garrett to taste and approve before filling our glasses and taking his leave.

  “I hope you like steak,” he said apprehensively.

  I was stunned that he couldn’t read how elated I was. “I haven’t had a steak, let alone a filet, since I was at a friend’s wedding almost two years ago.”

  He was obviously surprised by my remark, but rather than comment, he sliced off a piece and began to chew.

  The steak was divine, cooked to perfection so it melted in my mouth like butter. The taste was so tantalizing that I couldn’t help an appreciative moan from escaping my lips. I quickly looked up, hoping he’d been too busy in his thoughts to notice.

  He had an indulgent smile on his face. “I take it you’re enjoying the meal?”

  I flushed with embarrassment. “Yes, thank you. The food and wine are remarkable.” I quickly took a sip of wine and closed my eyes, savoring the flavors.

  Our meal continued in silence until Garrett had finished his plate and I had managed a little over half of mine.

  He cleared his throat. “Since we’ve handled business and you’ve accepted our offer, would you mind if we continued the night in friendly and honest conversation?”

  I looked up and saw him gazing admiringly at me. “Those are the kind of friendships and relationships I value most.”

  He reached for my hand without warning, taking it firmly in his. “As you’ve probably figured out, I don’t like to beat around the bush. So I’d like to get straight to the point. Do you have a boyfriend?”

  His rather abrupt line of questioning left me speechless, but somehow I managed to shake my head in response. “No,” I whispered. “No boyfriend.”

  “I like you, Laurel, and based on your body language over the last several days, I can tell you like me, too. I’d like to spend time with you and get to know you better.” During the course of the conversation, he’d somehow managed to scoot his chair closer and his face was only inches away from mine.

  I could feel all control slipping away as I sucked in a deep breath. A wave of panic sent chills down my spine and I pulled my hands away from his grasp, wrapping them tightly around my waist to steady my breathing; trying my best to calm myself down as quickly as possible.

  There was panic etched across Garrett’s face. “What the hell is going on, Laurel? Are you okay?”

  When I didn’t answer, he held his hands up to indicate he wouldn’t touch me, but leaned close enough to whisper. “I’m sorry if I overstepped my bounds. I didn’t intend to make you uncomfortable. Only a really bad experience could trigger a wave of panic this extreme.” He leaned back a little to see the emotion on my face, which I’m sure was still terror, before whispering in my ear. “Has a guy hurt you?” he asked, his voice full of concern. “It’s okay to tell me…this doesn’t affect your job offer, that’s a done deal, nor does it affect my interest in you.”

  I pulled back and looked up to see his kind green eyes etched with apprehension. I don’t know why he had the ability to compel my honesty; maybe it was the draw I felt towards him, but I found myself nodding in admission.

  His eyes closed tight, anguish filling his face. “You don’t have to tell me what happened until you feel comfortable; I’ll respect your privacy. I wish I could take away the hurt and the pain it has caused you, but I can’t change the past or what happened. However, I can change the present, and with your permission, Laurel, I’d still like to spend time with you; show you that not all men are cruel. Is that possible?”

  I somehow managed to find my voice. “I’m not really into dating anyone right now,” I whispered. “Doesn’t your company frown on employees dating?”

  “Technically, you’ll be working for Bio-Medical Life Solutions and the Training Center, whereas I work for Waters Medical Industries. I handle the HR side of things at the head office, I just happened to be in the area scouting out new talent when I came across you. So theoretically speaking, we will be working at two different locations. We don’t really work together, so it’s not considered fraternizing.” He went on to add, “You should know that I don’t really do the dating scene either. My work at the office, traveling across the country for potential recruiting and social events, keeps my schedule rather full, not allowing much time to date.”

  As I processed his words, I felt my expression change to one of puzzlement.

  “What’s wrong Laurel?”

  “How are you going to get to know me without dating me? That doesn’t make any sense.”

  He grabbed my hand and squeezed it lightly, staring deep into my eyes. “We don’t need to go into details right now, as I can tell I have to first learn how to earn your trust and have you comfortable around me. I will say that I find not only your mind, but your entire being, utterly fascinating, and with your consent, I’d like to get to know you very well. Will you try to trust me?”

  My heart felt like it was balancing on the edge of a cliff, afraid of falling over; getting hurt, but my mind, somehow, felt safe around Garrett. I liked how he attempted to ease my concerns and guided me where I needed to be. I know there are a lot of emotions and pain to overcome still, but Grace kept telling me I needed to move on and have a positive experience to help me dispel the nightmares and cut all ties to the past. Maybe Garrett’s my positive experience. I found myself saying, “Okay.”

  Garrett’s eyes and smile took on a look of desire as he lifted my hand to his mouth and kissed it softly, sending a shiver thr
ough me that went right to my core. He kissed my hand again, his eyes locked onto mine. “Thank you,” he whispered.

  I wanted to talk further, but the waiter came to clear our plates and brought us the final course, dessert. I was both surprised and thankful when he sat a dessert plate between us, already feeling full from the food we had enjoyed, and shocked to see it was one of my favorites, strawberry ice cream and warm chocolate cake sitting in some kind of fruit sauce.

  The sommelier reappeared with two champagne flutes and a bottle of Cristal. Garrett nodded in approval as the sommelier opened the bottle with grandeur before pouring us both a glass and leaving the bottle in a chilled ice bucket beside the table.

  He lifted his glass towards me, prompting me to lift mine. “Here’s to your graduation, your new job, your new life and to knowing you better.” We clinked our glasses together before each taking a sip. The taste was exquisite and refreshing, unlike any champagne I had ever tasted.

  The dessert tasted as heavenly as it looked. I was thankful the chocolate cake was light and not too sweet. I looked up and noticed Garrett regarding me with intrigue.

  He lifted his hand and reached over to touch the side of my lips. My first instinct was to lean back, but he stopped and held his palm up. “You have a little something on your face.”

  I relaxed and leaned forward as his thumb brushed gently across the left corner of my lower lip. He showed me the small speck of chocolate and ice cream on his thumb, but to my astonishment, he didn’t wipe his hand on his napkin, but lifted his thumb to his mouth and sucked on it. A sinful smile captured his face. “The dessert tastes even better this way.”

  My eyes dropped to my lap, trying to conceal the blush I felt spreading across my cheeks. His fingers slipped underneath my chin, lifting it to meet his gaze. “Please don’t hide that beautiful face of yours. I love seeing your expressions and your blush; it’s the only thing that gives me insight into what you’re thinking.”

  When we were done with dinner, Garrett stood, pulling my chair back and extending his hand to help me up. He intertwined our fingers and pulled me close beside him. At first, I tensed, but started to relax as his thumb rubbed soothing strokes across the back of my hand.

  We continued to hold hands as we headed towards the elevator. I finally got up enough courage to speak. “Thank you for the wonderful job opportunity and the lovely dinner tonight.”

  He turned and smiled. “You’re most welcome, Laurel. Would you mind if I accompanied you back to your dorm room, to ensure you get home safely? During the ride back, I can show you how to work your new cell phone and laptop.”

  I didn’t mind the opportunity to spend a little extra time with him, knowing that would hopefully help with my issues of trust. “That would be delightful, but why do I need the cell phone and laptop now, when I don’t start until next week?”

  He released my hand and wrapped his arm around my waist, drawing me next to him and putting his lips to my ear. “So I can contact you anytime I want,” he said simply, then planted a soft kiss just below my earlobe, making me melt.

  He took out his cell phone and texted someone a quick note.

  The elevator arrived and Garrett strode inside, keeping me tucked tightly against his side. I didn’t understand why he pulled us all the way to the back, since we were the only occupants. He placed our backs against the wall.

  As the doors closed us in and the elevator began to move, the arm he had around my waist pulled my back to his front. He splayed one hand across my abdomen, holding me tight to his chest. His other hand swept my hair to one side and his lips nibbled on my neck, just below the back of my earlobe.

  “Ahh!” I inhaled sharply and my body went rigid as I was reminded of a forced embrace.

  “Shh…You have my word I won’t hurt you. Do you trust me?” His voice was soft and enthralling.

  I wanted to tell him to stop, recalling bad memories, but my heart craved his touch. I knew it was against my normal judgment, but I couldn’t help myself. “Yes,” I said. “Yes, I trust you.” I’d have to force my heart to trust in hopes of not being hurt.

  He continued to plant gentle kisses down my neck and across my chin, the stubble of his whiskers gently scraping along my cheek. “I’ve wanted my lips on you since the first time I saw you in the laboratory. I’ve wondered how your skin would taste and how you would respond to me.”

  A soft cry escaped my lips as my head turned towards his. He leaned down, brushing his lips gently over the corner of my mouth. He pulled back briefly, staring intensely into my eyes. The next thing I knew, Garrett had turned me so my back was pressed up against the side wall and his hips dug into me, pinning me into place. His lips met mine gently at first; as I started to respond, his hands came up, grasping the sides of my face and holding me to him as the intensity of his kiss deepened.

  My hands reflexively reached out to his hair, pulling him closer to my mouth. As a sigh escaped my lips, he took full advantage of the entrance to my mouth, plunging his tongue deep inside, searching and probing and deepening the kiss.

  Our bodies were so close that I could feel his erection pressing into my stomach as he continued to ravage my mouth. He was stirring emotions in me that I had never known before and it scared me. My mind was frightened by the level of Garrett’s passion, but my body overrode the thoughts and began craving more.

  Reasoning finally began to take over as I lowered my hands to his chest, pushing him away with only slight resistance. He pulled back with a questionable look on his face, keeping me pinned with his hips. We were both out of breath and he took a moment to recover before he spoke.

  “What kind of enchantment are you placing on me, Laurel?”

  I didn’t understand what he was asking and looked at him quizzically. “None?” I answered dumbly.

  Garrett cradled my face with one hand, pulling me into a chaste kiss, while the other dropped to my waist, holding me tight against him. He looked adoringly into my eyes. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I shouldn’t have kissed you like that. I just can’t help the way I feel when I’m around you. I promise to take things slowly and gain your trust. Please tell me I didn’t just fuck up, that I still have a shot at getting to know you.”

  My heart was racing from his kiss, my inner core beginning to burn for him. I could feel a throbbing and wetness between my legs and knew it was the first time I’d ever desired someone. I couldn’t find words to answer his questions, but instead found my hands reaching for his face and pulling it to mine in a featherlight kiss.

  The elevator doors began to open and Garrett took a step back. His fingers locked with mine, pulling me alongside him as he walked feverishly across the lobby of the hotel and out the doors to the awaiting Town Car where Thompson held the door open to us.

  Thompson nodded towards both of us as Garrett said, “Back to Miss Hart’s dorm room, and feel free to take the back roads.”

  “Yes, sir,” he acknowledged.

  As I entered the car, I was surprised to find a cell phone and laptop sitting on the far side of the rear seat, so I took a seat in the middle. Garrett sat down beside me and reached over to my new toys. “The laptop is a top of the line system, with tons of memory, a large hard drive, and a built-in camera so you can Skype with your family and me when I’m traveling. You’re already set up with your own company email account and design software, which happens to be the same you’ve used here at the university, and a few other programs that you can learn from your managers next week. All the programs have shortcuts set up on your main screen. You can use your laptop for personal use, as you will be taking it with you back and forth.”

  He powered on the cell phone and pointed to the various areas of the screen as he described it. “Your cell phone is to be used for work, primarily, but can also be used for personal contact with your family. You’ll carry this with you at all times. It’s the latest Android version smartphone, a Samsung Galaxy S4, and it’s already set up with your company email acc
ount. I’m number two on your speed dial, a direct link to my cell phone, and I’m already in your private email contact list. If you have any questions or issues regarding work, or you need to talk about anything, including emergencies, don’t hesitate to call me. By the way,” he said, focusing all his attention on my eyes, “this isn’t a request.”

  I had never been around someone so authoritative before; to my surprise, it had a calming effect on me. I liked how he didn’t demand or force anything on me unwillingly, but explained things in detail, letting me know this was how he would like things to be.

  “Why do I need to have the cell phone with me at all times? Shouldn’t I just use it for work? I don’t want to start out on a bad note misusing company property.” I didn’t understand his reasons for being able to use the items for both work and personal life.

  He smiled a warm and soothing half smile. “All the employees carry their company phones and laptops with them, especially the engineers. While they may not have them on their persons at all times, I don’t have any interest in knowing where they are, but I do with you. How else can I get ahold of you if I need to?”

  I blushed at how forward he was being. It was comforting and a little exciting that he wanted to know where I was all the time.

  He reached back over, placing the cell phone back on the seat next to me. Our faces were only a fraction of an inch away from one another; I could feel his breath wash across my lips. Before I had time to process anything, his hands snaked around me and his lips brushed against mine; I soon found myself sitting across his lap, while his lips trailed loving kisses down the side of my jaw and up towards my ear, before his teeth nipped my earlobe.

  “Wait,” I whispered and pulled back for a moment. My body was tensed and I looked anxiously in Thompson’s direction, feeling self-conscious about what he must be seeing.

  Garrett’s lips continued to plant kisses down the side of my face and neck. “No need to worry, sweetheart.”

  He pressed a button next to us and a privacy screen began to rise up, enclosing us in secrecy in the backseat. My body relaxed and I watched his pupils grow with intensity, looking like a predator out for his prey. His face curved into a salacious smile. “Now, where were we?”