Learning to Trust

by Cynthia P. O'Neill

  He grabbed hold of my hand, placing it between both of his. “Sometimes life deals you a hand that’s full of crap. How you decide to play that hand is entirely up to you. His decisions may not always be the best, but he does have the best interest of everyone that he cares about at heart.”

  I attempted a smile. “I can’t promise forgiveness. All I can do is think of how I feel about everything that has transpired. I hope you understand that while I care about him, I need time to myself for a while.”

  “I understand, miss. I’ll be down later to collect your plate.”

  I shook my head. “There’s no need to make the trip. It can wait until tomorrow.”

  He stifled a slight laugh. “He’s rather insistent that I come back down to check that you’ve eaten and to see that you’re all right.”

  I let out a sigh of defeat. “Fine. If that’s what it’ll take to get him to leave me alone, so be it. Give me an hour and I’ll have the plate ready for you.”

  “Thank you, Laurel,” Thompson said as he walked away.

  Grace came back to find my eyes puffy and a ton of tissues at my feet on the sofa. It was no surprise when she barked out, “What has the little pisser done to hurt you?”

  She knew me all too well. I tried to calmly explain everything I had learned with tears pouring down my face. To my surprise, she defended him.

  “Don’t get me wrong, Laurel, I am always on your side,” she reassured me. “I get that you finally opened your heart to someone and started trusting him, only to have that trust shattered, and you’re hurting as a result. However, you need to look at his life and imagine what kind of relationship you would both have if the paparazzi followed your every move. He was protecting himself and you. If you’re in the limelight, Chase can track your every move. Just think about it.”

  I heard her words, but I couldn’t dismiss the fact that he didn’t trust me enough to tell me the truth. “Thanks for your insight, Grace, but I need time to think this through. You should know that I threatened to get another job and move out of this apartment. According to Thompson, this place was used to house visiting investors and guests to the company. Apparently he wanted to keep me close and safe, so he turned it back into an apartment for us.”

  She shook her head at the revelation. “Does he always have to do things over the top and be so controlling?”

  I nodded.

  “No wonder you’re so confused.” She gave my hand a squeeze. “I’m headed to bed. I would think things through before doing anything rash, ok? Give yourself time to calm down. If you still feel the need to quit and for us to move, then I’m right there with you, all the way.”

  I stayed on the sofa watching one movie after another, not wanting to go to bed and smell his scent on my pillow or long for his presence. The movies slowly dulled my senses until I was able to drift off from exhaustion.

  I was thankful the next day was a Saturday. I awoke with the determination to search the internet for apartments and see what jobs were available. I was shocked to discover that our rent had been adjusted. Apparently the rent in the downtown area went for three times what we were paying; we would have to move to the outskirts of the city in order to find something affordable and not nearly as nice.

  My brother, Donny, called to check up on me. He could instantly tell by my voice that something was wrong, so I had to explain everything. It was no surprise that he took my side. “I knew there was some reason why I didn’t trust him, Sis. Freddie got the same vibe I did. How can you trust someone that doesn’t trust you?”

  He hit the nail on the head with how I was feeling, though it was no surprise, because we thought alike. I was surprised when Donny told me him and Freddie were moving to the Orlando area in a couple months, after he finished his current semester. “I’m tired of the Duke scene and miss being around my little sis. Freddie isn’t happy at his job and has already had a few phone interviews in the area. I’ve already applied to the local university and can finish up my MBA there, along with doing an internship at one of the companies that I have my eye on, which happens to work in coordination with the university. So it’s a win-win situation for everyone.”

  I was elated to hear that my brother and best guy friend were moving down; it would be nice to have more family surrounding me. But, even with that, my heart was still hurting for the one person I wanted to lean on and couldn’t.

  Saturday turned out to be a check in day with everyone. My parents called a few hours after my brother. They were a little upset that he was moving so far away, too, but happy that we would at least be together in one place.

  Donny had wasted no time in telling them that Garrett and I had broken up and who he actually was. Mom asked for my side of the details and to my surprise, also sided with Garrett. “I admit he should have been forthcoming with you. I would almost bet that, given time, he was about to tell you everything and things just got out of hand and pushed to the back burner. Give yourself a little time to think things through. Try to put yourself in his shoes and see where he was coming from; then if you feel you need to change things, go for it. Know that we’ll always love and support you. If you need to come home to get away from the situation and clear your mind a bit, know that your dad and I would love to see you.”

  I thanked Mom for her insight and promised I would think about visiting soon. I agreed to allow myself time to think about things, but would still see what options were available to me, just as a safety. I ended up submitting my resume to a few companies on a “let’s see what happens” basis.

  The rest of the weekend was a blur. I needed to work out some aggression, and since my sugar levels were finally stabilized, I was able to start on an exercise routine that Dr. Chadler had approved. I was allowed to do thirty minutes of low intensity cycling, followed by a thirty minute to an hour long swim at my pace, pending my sugar levels, which I was supposed to check after the biking.

  The exercise helped give me focus over the next week. My only problem was that Garrett started to show up towards the tail end of my workouts, looking ultra sexy in a pair of shorts, tight sleeveless t-shirt and his hair pulled back from his face, claiming he was just there to work out his frustrations, same as me. It was his building, so I couldn’t tell him to take a hike, though I did ask him to respect my privacy. His reply was always, “I need you.” I needed him, too, but I would never admit it. I only asked for him to leave me alone.

  I still felt confused and ended up having a Skype conversation with Hannah to get her take on things. She knew there was something not quite right about him, but couldn’t put her finger on it. “I agree that it wasn’t fair to keep you in the dark; however, I see why he did, as a means of protection to both himself and you. I’m not saying to forgive him easily, but if you care for him as much as I suspect he cares for you; I’d give him a second chance and see what he has to say.”

  It seemed like everyone wanted me to give Garrett another chance, with the exception of my brother and Freddie. Had I overreacted? Was he right in keeping me in the dark? To me, the answer was no.

  I started getting calls about my resumes and had some amazing interviews. The promise of a new job was in reach, but for some reason, as soon as they called for references, their attitude changed and I was told the job no longer existed. I finally had enough of the run around and asked, “Does it have anything to do with where I’m currently working?”

  The response was always the same. “Miss Hart, it’s not where you work, but who you work for. Mr. Waters has made it abundantly clear that if we attempt to take you away from his workplace, he’ll buy our company and take us over.”

  To say I was livid would’ve been an understatement. “Thank you for your time and I apologize for any trouble this has caused you.”

  I didn’t feel like my life was my own anymore. Even though Garrett wasn’t in it, he was still controlling every aspect of it. Plus, lately I felt that I was being continually watched and followed. To make matters worse, I receive
d a typed letter in the mail with no return address or signature, but obviously from Chase.

  He was no good for you. You and I are meant to be together, forever!

  The next note came a few days later.

  Now that I’ve found you, I will NEVER let you go. – C

  He had found me and the nightmares were back with a vengeance. Why couldn’t he just leave me alone? Why was he so obsessed with me? Had anyone ever told this guy NO?! Was he nothing but a spoiled little rich kid?

  I went to the local police station and showed them the notes and, reluctantly, told them what happened in the past. Unfortunately, they couldn’t act on anything and even said I couldn’t file a restraining order unless he approached me or tried to intentionally hurt me.

  My nerves were on edge, so I resorted to asking Franklin to have one of his security detail meet me at my car in the mornings and to walk me out in the evening, just as a safety. He had asked if there was a problem with one of the fellow employees, so I enlightened him about the notes. He didn’t like keeping secrets from Mr. Waters, but obliged to keep me happy.

  I continued to feel like I was being watched. I walked down the block Saturday morning to pick up a few items from the nearby deli and decided to stop in for a small iced café mocha at the coffee shop. It was then that I noticed a guy, around six feet tall with short, wavy, black hair, wearing a polo shirt, jeans, sunglasses, and talking into a Bluetooth. He’d been at the deli and was now at the coffee shop; it was a little too coincidental for my taste.

  I kept a continual quick stride towards the complex and noticed he moved with me, keeping a short distance. When I got within twenty feet of the complex, I ran the rest of the way, punched the elevator button and depressed some of the buttons for the upper floors before ducking into the stairwell.

  My thoughts were correct, he’d opted for the stairwell to try and run the distance to catch up to me. But I shocked him with my pepper spray in hand. “You have one minute to tell me who the hell you are and why you’re following me or I scream the place down and have you arrested.”

  His hands were up and he removed his shades. “My apologies, Miss Hart, I’m only following orders that Thompson and Mr. Waters have in place.”

  I shook my head in disbelief. “Who are you and how long have you been following me?” I glanced over his facial features and felt that I’d seen this man before. “Have we met before?”

  He had a soft southern accent. “My name’s Dillon Caldwell, ma’am. I’ve worked for Mr. Waters for almost two years now. I do a lot of the behind the scenes work, so I’m not seen as much as Thompson.” He reached into his pocket and produced a card with his name and cell number. “Both Mr. Waters and Thompson have been worried about your safety and since you’re keeping them at a distance, they’ve asked me to ensure your well being. Please don’t be offended, ma’am. I’m only doing my job. And, yes, ma’am. I was the one following you to the bleachers after your graduation.”

  I finally released the breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. “I appreciate your honesty, Dillon. While I’m not happy that they’ve both gone behind my back, I don’t want to get you in trouble. Can you tell me when you watch me? Are there any others?”

  “It’s only me, ma’am. I follow you anytime you leave the apartment or work. When you’re hunkered down for the night, my shift ends,” he admitted.

  “I see. I won’t keep you from doing your duty. I actually appreciate that I have someone watching over me. But if you are to continue, could you please keep a bit more distance?”

  He seemed to relax with my response, even cracking a bit of a smile. “It would be my pleasure, ma’am, but only if you promise to call me should you leave the apartment for any reason after hours, so I can keep you safe.”

  I couldn’t help but smile back, “Okay, you have a deal.”

  That afternoon I started getting bombarded with flowers again, one arrangement at a time. The cards had similar sentiments asking for forgiveness, though this time instead of four arrangements, I received seven. They were all a dozen roses each, with every color conceivable, including red ones.

  I threw out the older flowers and placed the new arrangements throughout the apartment so Grace and I could enjoy their fragrance. As soon as she saw the flowers, she started in on me to give Garrett a second chance. I wasn’t ready to go there yet, so I just remained quiet.

  The next week flew by with plenty of work to keep me busy. I was almost ready for Grace to try out the improvements on the prosthetic and give me her honest opinion.

  She’d been out of town on business for most of the week, so we decided to meet for lunch at the Italian bistro Garrett had taken me to. I opted to meet her there, since she had to run in to work and drop off some things. I was finally ready to open up and express my fears concerning him.

  I called Dillon to let him know where I was headed, then proceeded to walk the short distance. When I arrived, the same hostess was there. “Hello, Miss Hart. Is Garrett joining you today?”

  She surprised me by knowing my name. “I’ll be dining with my cousin today. A table for two please, Sherry.”

  “Yes, ma’am. Right this way.”

  I sat at the table, perusing the menu selections and thinking about the last time I’d been there, when a familiar voice asked, “Would it be okay if I joined you for a moment, Laurel?”

  I looked up to see Jonathan standing next to the table, smiling. “Jonathan, it’s a pleasure to see you again. What are you doing here?”

  “I could say the same thing. This is actually my bistro. I own, manage, and do most of the cooking here.”

  “So that’s how Garrett knew everyone’s name and what was on the menu?”

  He nodded. “My brother is one of my best customers. We end up doing a lot of catering for his companies.”

  “The food is spectacular.”

  “Thank you,” Jonathan said, sliding into the seat across from me. “Speaking of my brother, I heard you found out who he really is and that it didn’t go well.” His lips were held in a grim line at the thought.

  I nodded my head and sighed. “Please tell me you aren’t here to plead his case, too.”

  “While I am here to discuss what happened, I won’t push you. Personally, I think my brother was an idiot not to confide in you in the first place. You’re the breath of fresh air that he needs; you have such a positive effect on him, my whole family can see it. I’ve never seen him so attentive to anyone, ever, and for him to bring you around our family is a huge step.”

  He took my hand in both of his and looked carefully into my eyes. “Garrett’s past is not a pretty one and while I would like to enlighten you, it’s not my story to tell. He’s been hurt, and as a result, he builds walls to protect himself. You’re the first person he’s let in. It’s obvious he adores you. He’s made a mistake and paid an ultimate price; he lost you. He’s miserable without you. Just consider talking with him, okay? After all, don’t we all make mistakes at times?”

  I felt a gentle touch on my shoulder and looked up to see Grace with a perplexed look on her face. I rose out of my seat to give her a quick hug. When I turned, I noticed Jonathan standing straight and tall. “Who’s your lovely friend, Laurel?”

  “Grace, this is Jonathan, Garrett’s brother. Jonathan, this is Grace Hart, my cousin.”

  Jonathan reached for her hand but instead of shaking it he leaned down, pulled it to his mouth and planted a gentle kiss. He didn’t release her; instead he continued to hold onto her. “It’s truly an honor and a pleasure to meet you, Grace.”

  She walked towards him and he pulled out the chair he had been sitting in for her.

  I’d never seen Grace with such a smitten look on her face, but she was definitely interested in Jonathan. “The pleasure is all mine, Jonathan.”

  “Please, feel free to pick anything on the menu. It’s my treat today, to make up for my brother’s idiocy.”

  “Why don’t you surprise us with your culinary sk
ills?” I suggested.

  His smile was infectious. “Sure thing. How about I start you off with a nice drink?”

  We both nodded in agreement and he was off to the bar.

  “So, what did he talk to you about?” Grace was inquisitive today.

  “He wants me to hear Garrett out.”

  “And?”

  I threw my hands up in frustration and waved the white napkin around in surrender. “Fine, I’ll talk to him, but only when I’m ready.”

  Before she could say anything, Jonathan returned with two waters and what looked to be two champagne cocktails. “These are mimosas with a touch of smashed strawberry. I’ve gone light on the alcohol for you, Laurel. Your food should be up shortly.”

  I watched as he placed the drink in front of Grace and winked. Hmm, who would have thought those two would be flirting with one another?

  Grace and I continued to talk, mainly her asking me all I knew in regards to Jonathan, which wasn’t much. “Do you think you could get his digits for me so we could talk more?”

  I was about to respond when he came back with two plates full of food. There was a small serving of lemon piccata chicken over a little penne pasta and a tossed green salad with lemon vinaigrette.

  “Thank you, Jonathan, the food looks amazing!” I gushed.

  I watched as he put the plate in front of Grace. This time she winked and he smiled. I wanted a break from romantic notions today and I was stuck watching a full-on flirtfest. For the love.

  The food was, of course, out of this world. We were surprised to have dessert delivered to our table as well. “Here’s some sweet tiramisu for a charming young lady,” he said, placing the dessert in front of Grace. He turned to me and slid a sliver of cheesecake in front of me. “I’ve been playing around with a sugar-free cheesecake recipe for you and Sandra to enjoy. Let me know what you think.”

  I took a tentative bite of the cheesecake and the flavors exploded in my mouth. “This is remarkable. If you didn’t tell me it was sugar-free, I would’ve never known.”