Best Sex Writing 2008

by Rachel Kramer Bussel

  When she was in graduate school at Columbia University in 2002, Melendez witnessed firsthand the degree to which many other people of color share her interest in sexuality studies. She was involved in the development of a program at Columbia called MOSAIC, which was intended to get undergraduate students of color involved in the field. By offering minischolarships, conducting weekly seminars, and bringing the students to conferences such as the ones held by the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality (a leading national sexuality studies organization), MOSAIC was able to engage students of color and legitimize their preexisting interest in sexuality studies.

  Melendez believes that sexuality studies needs to embrace students of color by creating more structural programs, like MOSAIC, and more courses that acknowledge and examine the intersections of race and sexuality, like Baham’s African-American Sexuality. “It’s vital that more people of color enter the field, but I don’t think that’s going to happen until people make a concerted effort.” This effort, she says, could include sexuality studies programs working to get more students of color into their classes; it could also entail black or other ethnic studies programs including classes on sexuality in their roster, and it could mean an academy-wide effort to destigmatize the word “sexuality” itself.

  Race, Sex, and Power

  Baham’s time in the classroom goes a long way toward meeting all three of those goals. But the real revolution comes from within.

  At the beginning of the course, Baham says, students always come in with a “pseudo-scientific” notion. “The question that they want answered is: Why are people gay?” Baham says. “I get them to understand that asking ‘why’ comes from a particular privileged position of power,” namely that of heteronormativity.

  Baham also gets the students to look at the notion “that black gay men are the biggest health risk in the black community. What about cocaine, heroin, unsafe sex among heterosexuals?” In getting students to critically examine topics such as internalized and externalized homophobia, Baham encourages analysis of the ways in which students personally construct their own sexualities.

  Finally, the course ends with a look at BDSM. “We’ve had this motif that runs through the course: it’s called power,” Baham says. “I ask the students: How about if we play with power? How about if we play with violence? How about if we play with slavery? I talk about BDSM as a political act. [In BDSM], all the issues with gender roles, slavery, violence and power, all of these come to a head. I deal with it as a potentially very mature way for people to resolve issues that develop from the sexual persona, such as pain, loss, mistrust.”

  Baham starts by talking about spanking or being spanked as an example of what BDSM can entail. He’ll often bring in a guest speaker from the BDSM community. Through these discussions, the students are able to see the potential for BDSM to be, as he puts it, “a redemptive and spiritual act.” His students often mention having a slight interest in the topic, but that they don’t know what it is and think that it’s a “white thing.” Despite this, students report that the idea of “doing things that are aggressive or submissive is exciting. There’s a tremendous amount of interest, but real lack of information on it,” Baham says. “When I talk about trust and safewords, and they see it’s not people getting together willy-nilly and beating the crap out of each other, they can understand it. Only later do we talk about the more extreme forms of BDSM, such as race play.”

  Baham often overhears his students telling their friends, “Man, you wouldn’t believe what we do in that class!”—which he takes as a compliment.

  What does the future hold for Baham’s African-American Sexuality and for Melendez’ desire to see more people of color studying and researching sexuality? In CSU East Bay’s Ethnic Studies Department, Baham and colleague Luz Calvo have proposed the creation of an entire departmental program to focus on the gender and sexuality of people of color. The African-American Sexuality course would become part of that program along with similar courses.

  Melendez dreams of the day when academics will work to make sure that “young people of color know the importance of studying sexuality, that it’s not just fun and games, but that it deals with really important issues that are of concern to many communities of color” such as HIV/ AIDS, intimate partner violence, pregnancy and birth control, the rights of same-gender-loving individuals, and sexual agency and the right to pleasurable experiences. “If I had my way,” she concludes, “sexuality studies would take over the entire university, because everything relates to sexuality.”

  Dangerous Dildos

  Tristan Taormino

  Many years ago, I did a photo shoot with porn star Chloe for Taboo magazine. It had been a long day of a hundred different poses and we were tired. “Let’s get that double dong and do an ass-to-ass shot,” said the photographer right before her assistant handed me a red two-headed rubber dildo fresh out of its package, with that shiny film on it that many jelly toys have. I spread lube on one end and began to slide the dildo into my ass, which was already warmed up from Chloe’s fingers. As the head slipped inside, my ass suddenly felt like it was on fire. A burning sensation spread throughout my butt, and when I looked up at Chloe, who was waiting for her end, she said, “I know that look. The toy must be old. Hot poker, right?” I yanked the fiery phallus out and jetted to the ladies room where I used an enema bottle filled with warm water to rinse out my butt. It didn’t do much good. I would later learn that the culprit was phthalates, a group of industrial chemicals with many uses, including, as I found out, being a pain in the ass.

  Phthalates (the ph is silent) are added to polyvinyl chloride (PVC) to make it more pliable, so they are often found in soft plastic things, like toys made for small children, animals, and sexual pleasure. Vinyl sex toys containing the chemicals are among the most inexpensive and widely available on the market. But while their texture makes them ideal for insertables, it turns out that what makes them enjoyable may also make them toxic. Because phthalate-spiked PVC is not a stable inert compound, these toys continually leach phthalates, which can cause a nasty odor, a greasy film, and genital irritation (like the burning sensation in my ass?).

  It seems like phthalates are everywhere: they’re in cosmetics, perfume, hair products, body lotion, deodorant, nail polish, carpeting, flooring tile, and medical devices. But that’s not all: A 2000 National Institutes of Health (NIH) study concluded that 85 to 90 percent of our phthalate exposure comes from food—mainly meat and fish. They come from processing equipment and food packaging, and because they’re everywhere in the environment, they’ve made their way into the food chain. Today, you probably washed some down the drain.

  In studies on mice and rats, high levels of phthalates have been linked to reproductive organ damage, liver damage, and liver cancer. According to Consumer Reports, four studies published in the NIH journal Environmental Health Perspectives have linked high phthalate levels to human health issues, including premature breast development in young girls, low sperm count or motility in men, and lower testosterone levels in male newborns. The most well-publicized human study tested the urine of pregnant women and found that a higher level of phthalates correlated with a smaller anogenital index (the distance between the anus and the genitals) in male newborns. However, critics argue that the science of the study is flawed and there’s no evidence that being on the small end of the anogenital index is problematic.

  Other countries have responded to the potential threat based on rodent studies and research. In 1998, Canada took children’s rattles, teethers, and dog chew-toys made with phthalates off the shelves. In 2005, after an eight-year battle, the European Union banned the use of three phthalates in children’s toys and childcare products and the use of three others in toys and items that can be put in children’s mouths. According to Environmental Science and Technology Online, “Some disagreement existed over the risk assessments…. The technical experts concluded that DINP, the phthalate most widely used in toys, posed
no risk. However, the Scientific Committee for Toxicity, Ecotoxicity and the Environment disagreed and considered it a potential risk. The Environment Directorate of the European Commission advised the EP [European Parliament] that enough ‘scientific uncertainty’ existed to warrant limiting the use of DINP in toys that can be sucked and chewed.” The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) tested similar products and concluded they are not harmful. But if Canadian and European kids can’t put such products in their pie-holes, should we be sliding them into other holes?

  There have only been two studies on the relationship between sex toys and phthalates, both European. In September 2006, the Danish Technological Institute’s “Analysis and Health Risk Assessment of Chemical Substances in Sex Toys” concluded that implied health risks were minor to nonexistent (except for pregnant and breast-feeding women, who were cautioned against “heavy usage”). In the same month, Dutch research firm TNO (hired by Greenpeace Netherlands) found that seven of the eight toys it tested contained at least one of the phthalates banned by the EU, and that phthalates made up 24 to 49 percent of the toys’ composition.

  Although the study didn’t contain any new information about the health effects, Greenpeace called for the ban of sex toys containing phthalates.

  Researching the research on phthalates is a dizzying project in itself, with each side of the argument using scientific jargon to discredit the other. Environmental activists say they’re toxic and should be banned. The Environmental Protection Agency classifies one phthalate (DEHP) as a probable human carcinogen (based on the rodent studies). Right on cue, the plastics industry, its lobbyists, and the CPSC insist that phthalates are proven safe. Then there are the unbiased number crunchers: Statistical Assessment Service (STATS), a group which analyzes “the use and abuse of science and statistics in the media” (see stats.org) concludes, “The phthalate story is a complicated one…. There is evidence that our exposure level is about 1000 times lower than the level of exposure at which rats display observable effects. However, since primates are different from rats, we cannot conclude that phthalates are either safe or unsafe based on the animal studies.” But Trevor Butterworth of STATS says, “This is not a public health crisis.”

  So what’s a tree-hugging dildo-loving girl to do? Mine is not an isolated incident; ask any sex store clerk or porn star: lots of people are talking about the burning, itching, and other irritation experienced after using PVC sex toys with phthalates.

  Another downside to these toys is that they’re porous, so they cannot be easily cleaned or completely disinfected (like nonporous materials such as silicone or glass). Irritation is one thing, but whether these toys are toxic and cause long-term problems is a hotly debated question. The research cited above has shown a link between the chemicals and cancer in mice and rats but not in humans. (Furthermore, most human research deals with phthalate exposure through the skin and mouth, not through the absorbent tissue of the genitals.) What is clear is that the issue highlights a growing tension within the sex toy industry between companies stuck in an outdated “adult novelty” model and those invested in raising the bar.

  When co-owner Jessica Giordani opened the Smitten Kitten, a sex toy shop in Minneapolis, her first shipment of PVC toys arrived in a box with a strong odor and full of what looked like oil stains. According to Giordani, when she questioned her distributor about it, he said, “Oh, yeah, that happens.” Unsatisfied with that answer, she asked the manufacturers about their ingredients. No one would tell her what their toys were made of. So, Giordani decided to do the research herself, which led to the formation of CATT, the Coalition Against Toxic Toys (badvibes.org), a nonprofit consumer advocacy and education organization dedicated to ending the manufacture, distribution, and retail sale of toxic sex toys. CATT sends popular toys (like the Rabbit Habit) to an independent lab to test their formulations and publishes the findings on its website. “We want to make the information available to consumers so they can make informed decisions,” says Giordani. The Smitten Kitten and Womyn’s Ware in Canada won’t carry any toy they consider toxic. Other retail stores, like Good Vibrations and Babeland, inform customers what a toy is made of, and, in the case of toys with phthalates, recommend using a condom over them.

  Thanks to Giordani and others, there’s been enough media coverage about the issue and dialogue among retailers and consumers that many toy manufacturers have begun advertising products as “phthalate-free.” This would seem like a step in the right direction; however, unlike other products, sex toys are not regulated by any agency (part of this is due to an unfortunate loophole whereby sex toys are labeled “for novelty use” meaning they have no actual use). The FDA makes sure that shampoo manufacturers must tell you what’s in their product, but dildo companies are not required to list a toy’s actual ingredients. This allows the industry to provide misleading and incorrect labeling, which it routinely does, from “hypoallergenic dildos” to so-called silicone toys that aren’t made of silicone. Some well-established companies recognize the need for change and have moved toward higher quality products; others don’t seem that concerned.

  When you look at the phthalate issue in a larger context, what you see is the current split within the sex toy industry between old-school adult novelty makers and new age sex-positive toy companies. The former are stuck in a model of “get it as cheap as you can from China, make it look like a penis (that’s what women want, right?), and spend as little as you can on packaging.” Toys from these companies scream, “Who cares if this looks good or actually works? No one’s going to return it or complain, they’ll be too embarrassed. Besides, it’s just a dildo,” reinforcing people’s low expectations and shame. Nick Orlandino, chief operating officer of Pipedream Products, recently told Adult Novelty Business, “Most of our customers don’t give a shit what their toy is made of.” This gag-gift mentality treats its products, and by extension sexual pleasure and satisfaction, as frivolous and unimportant.

  Metis Black, president of silicone toy manufacturer Tantus (tan-tusinc. com), disagrees with this attitude: “Consumers need to expect more and demand higher quality products.” Tantus toys are made of the highest quality (and most expensive) medical-grade platinum silicone. Black thinks there should be self-regulation within the toy industry and transparency when it comes to the ingredients they use. “The phthalate studies are a mixed bag. We know that these toys smell and off-gas, and that can’t be good for you. It’s not just phthalates. They’ve found cadmium and lead and industrial-grade mineral oil, which is like kerosene, in some toys.”

  Tantus is part of a new generation of companies dedicated to research and development, top-quality materials, attention to detail, and consumer satisfaction. These sex-positive manufacturers design and test their products with real bodies and pleasure in mind. They stand behind their stuff, and want consumers to know they have the right to toys that are well made, long lasting, and do what they say they’ll do. They treat butt plugs like they treat sex: as something valued and valuable.

  As these two kinds of companies with radically different philosophies battle for a share of the market, I can only hope that quality will prevail over making a fast buck. My pussy and ass deserve quality sex toys. So do yours.

  Absolut Nude

  Miriam Datskovsky

  Naked parties are bullshit.

  Yet nude living, especially the naked party—also known, in my humble opinion, as grunting, sweating bodies unnecessarily sacrificing sexual pleasure—has taken off at college campuses nationwide. Naked parties are an established underground trend at Brown,Yale, Northwestern, and Pomona. At Wesleyan, one of the dormitories, West College, also known as WestCo, is affectionately nicknamed the Naked Dorm—clothing is optional. Hamilton College even has its own self-proclaimed “varsity streaking team,” a group of students who can be seen tiptoeing through libraries and running down hills in flying-V formation while making caw noises, stark naked. They consider themselves number one in the nation.
r />   Columbia, too, has joined the naked ranks. The annual naked run never fails to draw a large, excited crowd. Lingerie and full-on naked parties are becoming increasingly common. Carla Bloomberg, de facto Columbia naked party spokeswoman, featured in both New York magazine and the New York Sun, has repeatedly insisted that naked parties are not about sex. Instead, she claims they are about challenging social constructs, and more specifically, the idea that we define ourselves by what we wear.

  Carla has a point. I’ll be the first to confess: I am obsessed, down to the matching earrings and stilettos, with my clothes. But stripping down to your birthday suit at a designated naked party is not the same as doing so in front of a lover. In some sense, naked parties are simply another social construct: if everyone is naked, then people are likely to feel comfortable about it, and everyone can easily agree that being naked is supremely better than being clothed. And while it might be easier to pinpoint how people spend hours perfecting their outfits in order to refine their self-images, that does not preclude those people who spend hours working out, perfecting their body images so they will look and feel sexually attractive without their clothes on.