Harts of Arizona Series

by Yahrah St. John

  Addison was recognizing that Caleb was doing everything he could to please her and show her he had changed. During their walks through the shops, he’d bought her a single red rose and just last night, a simple diamond pendant necklace. He just hadn’t said what she wanted to hear, which was that he loved her. She knew it was terribly unjust because she hadn’t said it to him even though she was head over heels for him. She was just afraid to say it first.

  Those old fears of having put herself out there four years ago and have him scorn her love were etched in her memory. Even though she’d forgiven him, she’d never truly forgotten, so it was much harder for her to put herself on a limb again and spill her guts without knowing how he felt about her.

  She did, however, want him to overcome one of his fears—getting back on a horse. They’d talked at length over the last few months about Caleb’s fear of riding. He hadn’t been back on any animal since the accident, and Addison knew how much riding and his family’s ranch had once meant to him. She wanted that back for him, so she’d arranged for a sunset ride on the beach.

  “Where are we going?” Caleb asked the following afternoon as a driver took them around town.

  “You’ll see.” Addison squeezed his hand. She hoped he wouldn’t consider it presumptuous, but she knew he had to face his fears eventually. Why not on a docile horse used to riding on the beach?

  Caleb came around to open Addison’s door. He glanced at the setting. “A day at the beach? Why didn’t you just say so?” He glanced down at the T-shirt and shorts he was wearing. “I didn’t bring my swim trunks.”

  Addison grabbed his hand. “You won’t need them.” They were walking a short distance up the sand when Caleb must have seen the horses because suddenly, he couldn’t take another step.

  “Addison?” He was rooted to the spot in the sand.

  She glanced sideways at him. “I know, you might think I’m ambushing you, but—”

  She didn’t get another word in. “Hell, yes, this is an ambush! You know how I feel about riding. Why would you do this?”

  “Because, it’s time for you to face your fears.”

  “And you’re the judge of that?”

  Her eyes began misting with tears. “Well, no, but I just thought—”

  “That you would force me into doing the very thing that landed me in a wheelchair for two years? I never thought you were that insensitive.”

  “Caleb, I’m sorry.”

  But he pulled away from her and began walking down the beach.

  “Please, please don’t be upset with me,” Addison said, running after him. “I know it was presumptuous of me to assume you’d want to ride again, but I know how much you love it.”

  “Loved it.” He stopped long enough to correct her.

  She nodded her head. “Loved it,” she corrected herself. “And I just thought that with me by your side, I could help you face your fear. I’m so sorry. I never meant to offend you. I only want what’s best for you. I would never do anything to harm you.” Quietly, she turned away from him and began walking in the other direction.

  Caleb couldn’t believe Addison had ambushed him. He hadn’t dared look at a horse yet alone any other animal that could buck him off in over four years. The thought of getting injured again had paralyzed him with fear. It’s why he didn’t visit the ranch or Rylee that much. Their life revolved around animals and horses and his didn’t, not anymore.

  But today, Addison was calling him out on his fears. He didn’t appreciate it, but he could respect it.

  Caleb sighed and then ran after her on the sand. He stopped her and whirled her around to face him. “You didn’t offend me, and I know you would never do anything to hurt me, at least not intentionally, but, babe ... I can’t do this.”

  “How do you know,” she pressed, “if you never try?”

  He shook his head. “I can’t.”

  “Yes, you can.” Her eyes pleaded with him to give it a chance. “You’re just afraid to fall. And I know I can’t say I will catch you, but I will be here for you if anything happens.”

  It wasn’t the admission of love Caleb was waiting to hear, but it definitely meant Addison was in their relationship for the long haul. But should he really be surprised by that? Four years ago, she’d offered him the same thing, but he’d been too afraid to take her up on it. Could he now?

  She held out her hand. Her eyes burned with confidence in him.

  Caleb swallowed his fear. “Okay.”

  Thirty minutes later, after signing the appropriate waivers and saddling up, Addison and Caleb stood in front of two saddle horses. They had to be two of the most docile creatures Caleb had ever seen. The odds of them getting spooked and throwing him off were highly unlikely, but it could happen just the same. Images of being thrown from the bull in the arena and the subsequent kick flashed in Caleb’s mind. He began pacing in the sand.

  Addison must have seen him getting skittish because she slid her delicate hand in his and looked up at him. “You can do this.”

  He inhaled deeply.

  “Ready to go?” the ride coordinator asked, looking at Caleb and then Addison.

  “Caleb?” Addison’s calling of his name was more like a question. Could he do this? Could he conquer his fears?

  Caleb recalled how hard it had been learning to navigate life in a wheelchair. But he’d done it. Until eventually, thank God, he hadn’t needed it.

  Instead of answering, he held his hands out to give Addison a lift before hopping astride an American Saddlebred as he’d done four years ago before the accident. He looked at the coordinator. “Whatcha waiting for?”

  Addison beamed across from Caleb on her spotted saddle horse. He could see how proud she was of him, but he was even prouder of himself for doing something his entire family couldn’t even get him to do. But there was a difference. He would be riding with the woman he loved.

  Later that night in bed, when they were wrapped in each other’s arms after making love, Caleb thanked her.

  “For what?”

  “For forcing me to face my demons,” Caleb replied, brushing damp hair from her brow. He’d just given her quite a workout.

  “I just knew how much riding meant to you, and I wanted you to have it back. I wasn’t going to let some damn bull rob you of something you loved.”

  Caleb was quiet. It hadn’t just robbed him of his ability to walk or ride, it had robbed him of Addison, and he wasn’t going to let that happen ever again. She’d become his whole world, and he couldn’t wait to share his life with her.

  Chapter 25

  The next day, Addison arranged for massages on the cottage patio under the tiki hut so they could hear the water lapping in the distance. She knew he might be sore after yesterday’s sunset ride on the beach, so the massage was the perfect gift. Her heart had welled with pride at seeing Caleb ride again. It hadn’t been an easy step for him, and he’d given her some resistance, but in the end, he’d done it.

  During the ride, she’d glanced over and seen him in his glee as man and horse became one. Caleb belonged there, and she hoped that he would continue to ride once they returned to Dallas and later when he visited Golden Oaks.

  After their ninety-minute massages, they decided to take a dip in the pool, but it didn’t take long for their afternoon of swimming to lead to another aerobic activity.

  Caleb led her to the pool steps and then pulled her onto his lap. He cupped her face with his large hands and kissed her deeply. His invasive tongue was like molten lava and incited hot flames of desire to shoot through her. And when he brushed his lips across her ear, along her jaw and back to the corner of her mouth so he could tease her lips, she moaned, quivering with need for him. When she felt his hands tugging at the straps of her bikini top, she didn’t protest. She just watched it float away in the water. Her breasts were bare to him so he could feast
on them. And that’s exactly what he did: He made a meal of her.

  He twisted her nipples into points until she let out a satisfied gasp. Then he bent his head, drew one hardened peak into his mouth and began suckling. Her breathing became loud, and her eyelids fluttered closed as she enjoyed Caleb’s ministrations. He cupped the other breast and gave it the same treatment. Addison moaned, desperate for more.

  Caleb obliged by changing positions so Addison was sitting on the steps. That’s when Caleb lowered his head under the water and caught her bikini bottom between his teeth and pulled the thin fabric down her legs. Then he set about an exploration of the place between her thighs, which were spread-eagled on the steps. He grasped her buttocks and then his tongue darted inside her wet folds. He set her on a course of pure ecstasy, and Addison’s moans grew louder with each stroke of his skillful tongue. As it went deeper, she began to writhe, and she couldn’t help releasing a scream as Caleb brought her to one helluva an orgasm.

  “Caleb!”

  The sound tore at his soul, but he didn’t stop. His tongue continued its assault, sucking on her clitoris until she was convulsing and screaming as her second orgasm hit her with full force. She arched her back off the steps, and Caleb hauled her to him, kissing her hard as he settled his jutting erection between her legs and plunged forward into her wetness.

  “Yes!” she yelled.

  Addison didn’t know why she was surprised that Caleb would make love to her out in the pool, out in the open. From the start, everything about him was out of bounds and went against the grain. Caleb was a no-rules kind of guy. And after being so long without him—without this—she was now a no-rules kind of girl.

  She clutched him to her chest as he kept ramming into her. “I love you.” The words escaped from her lips as her pleasure rose. Her mind warned her to retreat, but there was no way she could when he was buried deep inside her, filling her completely and invading her womb as she accommodated him in a viselike grip. His movements grew more and more frenzied as he rode her hard, giving her the friction she craved until his orgasm hit him, and he detonated inside her. She felt it too, and it wrung yet another climax out of her.

  “I’m sorry, Addison,” Caleb murmured against her cheek as he collapsed on top of her and both their breathing returned to normal.

  Sorry? That was the best he could offer after she’d just said she’d loved him. Why hadn’t said he loved her? Was it because he didn’t? The magnitude of his omission made Addison slowly extract herself from his embrace and climb out of the pool.

  “Addison, wait!” Caleb yelled. After they’d separated, she’d rushed from him, reached for a towel to cover herself and shot inside the cottage. Caleb was seconds behind her, wrapping a towel around his middle as he followed her.

  He didn’t reach her in time. When he made it to the bedroom door, it was locked.

  Dammit. He should have said he loved her too, but in the heat of passion, all he could think about was how tight she was, how her folds were milking him of everything he had to give. Her words of love, although not a shock, had caught him off-guard, and just as he was about to repeat them, his orgasm had hit hard and strong ... and that’s when he’d realized he hadn’t been wearing a condom. Thus the apology.

  He didn’t want Addison to think he’d done it on purpose. This entire week, they’d practiced safe sex, but just minutes ago he’d gotten so caught up, he’d made a mistake. One which he’d compounded by apologizing instead of saying the three words she’d wanted to hear.

  Caleb sat with his head between his hands as he waited for Addison in the living room. He didn’t know what to say or do to make things right. He could only take his cues from her. She emerged thirty minutes later, fully dressed and holding a suitcase.

  “Addison—”

  “I think it’s time we head back,” she said, not looking at him. “We already stayed longer than I anticipated. This was only supposed to be a long weekend, and I need to get back to work.”

  That was utter bullshit, and he damn well knew it. Addison hadn’t been thinking about work a half-hour ago when he’d been buried to the hilt inside her.

  “We need to talk,” he replied, coming toward her.

  When he reached her, she tried to ignore him and sidestep him, but she wasn’t getting past his six-foot frame.

  “Let me pass.”

  “No, not until we talk about what just happened outside.”

  “Why? It won’t change anything.”

  “Everything has changed,” Caleb said. “We just made love, and we could have created a baby. And if we did—”

  She cut him off. “We’ll deal with it. But right now, I just want to get home, so kindly get dressed.”

  He glanced down at the towel he was still wearing. He was naked underneath it. And despite how cold she was being to him, he knew if he dropped his towel and took her back to the bedroom, he would reach her. But again, sex had never been their problem. It was communication.

  He sighed. He would do this her way, but he intended on having a serious talk with Addison Walker. She needed to know that she was the only woman for him and he wanted her for his wife and not because she could be carrying his child, but because he loved her.

  He was ready in less than an hour, dressed in a blue button-down shirt, denim jacket and Levis. Addison was waiting for him and from the looks of it, she’d already done some preliminary cleaning and was airing out the cottage because it had returned to the coastal environment it had been, instead of their love nest with flowers, candles burning and the scent of their lovemaking permeating every room.

  Several minutes later, the town car was outside, so Caleb wasn’t going to get the opportunity to speak with Addison. It was clear to him she’d wanted it that way. She’d wanted as little interaction with him as possible.

  He was hoping to talk to her on the short plane ride, but instead, once he’d turned on his cellphone after several days, he discovered his uncle had left several urgent messages within the last twenty-four hours. They were about an accident on the HE oil rig. Caleb had no choice but to call him from the jet’s phone. He discovered he was going to have to get over to the rig as soon as he got on land.

  As they were touching the tarmac, he ended one of the many calls he’d had to make during the flight to find out exactly what had happened on the rig. “Is everything okay?” Addison asked.

  “So you notice I exist?” She’d barely spoken two words to him since they’d left the cottage.

  She rolled her eyes.

  Caleb sighed. He knew he’d hurt her when he hadn’t said he loved her, but after everything they’d been through, shared, how could she doubt him? Yet despite their personal relationship, they still had a business one. “As you probably surmised from what you overheard from my phone conversations, there’s been an incident on the oil rig. Could be some fallout afterward. So to answer your question, yes, HE is going to need our publicist.”

  “Of course.” She returned to staring out the window.

  Should he have said he needed her? Would it have made a difference? She’d already made her mind up, and at the moment, Caleb wasn’t sure how to get through to her. He just hoped that he would.

  Addison was in a sour mood the next day. Given that she’d just shared a week with Caleb in Galveston, she should have come back feeling ecstatic; instead, she was more confused than ever. During the trip, she hadn’t been that happy since, well, since the last idyllic week she’d spent with Caleb four years earlier.

  Then her mind wandered to that incredible lovemaking session in the pool. It had been one of the most intense times they’d shared, and subsequently, they’d been so enraptured that Caleb hadn’t worn a condom, which meant she could be pregnant. It was much too soon to tell, but it could very well mean that they would finally have a long-term connection. But she hadn’t wanted it like this. Not without love, and i
t was clear that it was one-sided. She loved Caleb, but he didn’t love her. Although she’d said it during lovemaking, she’d meant it and he’d known that, which is why he’d wanted to “talk.” Had he been blowing smoke about wanting marriage and babies?

  She’d never felt that connected to a man before and that free without anything between them. So she certainly hadn’t been prepared for a talk so he could blow her off. No, thank you. She wanted to lick her wounds in a drink, but that was going to be impossible. As soon as she had arrived back at work, a pile of papers had beckoned from her desk, not to mention she had been waiting on a call from Caleb on a potential media firestorm that was about to hit Hart Enterprises.

  It was a long day, and when she made it home, she really wanted a glass of wine, but she settled on tea instead. She was making herself a cup in the kitchen of the Walker mansion when Collette joined her.

  “Well, look who’s returned?” Collette said, giving her a kiss.

  “Hey, girl.” Addison gave her a one-sided hug.

  Collette stepped backward with her hands on her hips. “Wow! Don’t sound so excited to see me.”

  “Sorry.” Addison smiled half-heartedly. “How the heck are you?”

  “I’m on cloud nine. I met this awesome guy at a gallery opening, and we’re going out on another date.”

  “That’s great, Collette. I’m so happy for you.”

  Collette frowned. “For someone that just came back from a getaway with her boo, why aren’t you smiling from ear to ear? Girl, if I were you, I would barely be able to walk straight.”