And don’t I know it.
Finally, I feel like I’m ready to take that leap of faith.
I’m seated on Ari and Cal’s loveseat when Mel reappears a while later. “Sorry about that,” she says, lowering herself down beside me.
“Everything okay?” I take her hand and twine our fingers. She rewards me with a mega-watt smile, and I can’t resist planting a soft kiss on her lips.
“Everything’s perfect,” she admits. Scooting in closer to me, she snuggles into my chest, and my hand drapes casually over her shoulder. Inhaling deeply, I suck in everything about her. Her smell, her laugh, the touch of her hair under my fingers, the feel of her skin, how she wrinkles her nose when she’s embarrassed, and the tiny crinkles at the side of her mouth when she smiles.
We stay like this for hours, chatting and laughing, kissing—there’s lots of kissing—and I don’t over analyze anything. Content just to be in the arms of a beautiful woman, enjoying her company as much as she’s enjoying mine.
The party winds down and the last of the guests leave. “I’m so tired,” Mel says, with an exaggerated yawn. “Think I’ll call it a night. See you both in the morning,” she says to Cal and Ari, as she takes my hand and starts to drag me down the corridor to the back bedroom. Cal frowns at our conjoined hands and makes as if to follow us, but Ari grabs him and kisses him.
“Go, Zane,” she silently implores. “Have fun.” She gives me a backhanded thumbs-up, and I almost choke with laughter.
I’m lying under the covers, clothed only in my black boxer briefs, waiting for what feels like eternity for Mel to come out of the bathroom. I’m a patient guy, but still. Apart from a few casual hook-ups, this is the first time I’ve willingly spent the night with a girl in the last two years. Desperation and longing ride me hard. I need to feel her in my arms like I need oxygen to breathe. Hopping up out of bed, I pad over to the closed door and rap once. “Mel. Are you coming out here anytime tonight?” I make the effort to keep my tone lighthearted so she knows I’m joking.
The door opens and I’m rendered speechless. Mel is wearing a smoking-hot sexy silk negligee that leaves little to the imagination. My eyes are out on stalks. “Dayum,” I mutter. “You look beautiful.”
She laughs nervously and my heart melts. “Sweetheart, come here.” I pull her into my arms and smooth a hand over her hair. Her arms fold around my back. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. The agreement was just to sleep, and I’m okay with that.” I’m a terrible liar so I’m sure she’s seen through that one. If she doesn’t want what I want, I don’t know how I’ll summon the willpower to lie beside her and not touch her.
Lifting her head, she stares at me forlornly, and I wonder what I’ve said to upset her. “The agreement. Yes,” she says and then it hits me.
“Come sit with me,” I say, pulling her to the edge of the bed. I plonk down and grab her into my arms. She seems surprised but she goes with the flow. Mel has told me on countless occasions how she feels about me, never holding back, always honest no matter the consequences for her.
My brave, beautiful Mel.
Now it’s my turn to repay that and then some. “This isn’t about our deal anymore. At least, not for me,” I start. She opens her mouth, but I plant a finger against her lips to shush her. “I’m sorry that I’ve been pushing you away for so long, but you were right. I’ve been afraid of falling in love again because I don’t want to experience pain like that ever again. I don’t think I’d survive it. But that’s no way to live. Everything I want my future to be has been right under my nose these last two years,” I admit, running a finger across her cheek.
“But I refused to see it. You were right to push me today. I needed that. I’m ready Mel. To let you in. To give ‘us’ a try, and I promise to be totally honest with you going forward. I really like you Mel, more than I was willing to admit. And I want to be with you if you’re still willing to take a chance on me.”
A single tear snakes out of her eye and rolls down her face. I catch it with the tip of my finger. “I love you, Zane. I always have and I know I always will.”
I freeze underneath her with the admission. I can’t return the sentiment, not yet, not until I know that it’s reciprocated for real. Yet I hate sitting here and saying nothing. “I need some time to figure out exactly how I feel, Mel. But know this. I care about you deeply, and I feel a strong connection between us. I—”
“Shush,” she says, quieting me. “You don’t need to explain. And I don’t need to hear that right now. You want to be with me, and you’re willing to give a relationship a go. That’s all that matters to me. You couldn’t make me any happier than I am right now.” She beams at me, and her whole face lights up like a thousand stars have all joined together into one bright iridescent beacon of light.
“Or maybe you can,” she says, a faint blush darkening her cheeks. Leaning in, she brushes her lips against mine, and I ease back in the bed, maneuvering us under the covers.
Turning on my side, I pull her to me, and our arms and legs tangle together as our mouths collide urgently. Her touch feathers deep inside me, and my hands roam all over her body, caressing her soft skin as she caresses mine. Her tongue explores mine, and with every little moan from her mouth, my body jerks in response. I’m quickly losing control.
Breaking free suddenly, Mel sits up and slowly tugs her nightie over her head. Lying back down beside me, she beseeches me with her eyes.
“Are you sure, Mel?” My eyes drink in her glistening, naked skin. She is indescribable, beautiful beyond words. Certain parts of my anatomy are going haywire.
“Yes. I want you.” Lust mixes with trepidation in her stare, and I join the dots instantly.
“Have you done this before?” I ask, though I know what the reply will be.
She shakes her head. “I was saving myself for you.”
Hot damn. I’m blown away. My heart pounds furiously in my chest, blood surging in my veins. “I don’t know what to say.” It’s so profound that I’m rendered speechless.
“I want you to be my first and my last.”
She looks at me expectantly and with so much trust in her eyes that my heart almost dissolves in on itself. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve such a sweet girl, but as I look into her eyes, I see the truth of her statement and I’m overcome with emotion. With feeling. For her. “If this hurts, or you want to stop at any time, you’ve got to let me know.”
“I don’t want you to stop. I want this with you, now and forever.”
The time for talking is over. My lips meld to hers and stay locked in place, as we slowly become one.
Thanks to the newlyweds, we enjoy a long, leisurely sojourn in bed the next morning. Malcolm took the boys back to his place overnight, and I’m sure Ari and Cal want to enjoy the time alone, just as I relish the opportunity to show Mel all the ways in which I’m now happily on board the relationship train.
Once we’re both showered and dressed, we make our way down the corridor to face the music. I can hear Ari and Cal moving about the kitchen, talking in low voices. Somehow, I don’t think Cal is going to be thrilled with our news.
Mel grips my hand firmly in hers, as if she’s afraid I’ll run off if she lets go. Rounding the corner, we step into the kitchen, and Cal freezes in place as he stares at both of us.
“Morning, guys,” Ari says, her tone full of orchestrated sunshine. “We’re just making breakfast.”
“Yum,” Mel says, “I’m ravenous this morning for some reason.”
Ari snickers and then Mel joins in, laughing loudly as she realizes how her words could be misinterpreted. Cal glowers at me until Ari slams her elbow into his ribcage, distracting him. “You promised,” she chastises him. He snorts and mutters something indistinct under his breath.
Mel exhales loudly. “Cal.” She pins him with a stern look. He looks up and eyeballs his sister. “I’m with Zane now, and I expect you to deal with that appropriately. What’s happened in
the past is in the past. If the rest of us can handle that, then you’ll just have to.” Leaning in, she kisses me passionately to further enhance her point. My arms hold her snugly at the waist as I return her touch, kiss for kiss.
Cal clears his throat. “Okay. You’ve proven your point, Mel. Now get your tongue out of his mouth.”
Mel breaks swiftly away and lunges for Cal, shoving him hard in the chest. “I’ve had to endure years of watching you pawing at Ari every chance you get. Now it’s my turn. Suck it up, brother!”
Ari and I trade shocked expressions, and then she doubles over, clutching her stomach as she guffaws loudly. Composing herself, she reaches for Cal and musses his hair. “You’ve got to admit that that’s a valid point.”
He snags her into his chest and kisses the top of her head. “I’m not admitting to anything.” God. He redefines stubborn. “If you mess her around,” he says, eyeballing me. “I’ll kill you.”
“Cal!” Ari and Mel shriek at the same time.
I hold up my hand and silence the girls. “That’s fair enough, and I wouldn’t expect any less. But I have no intention of hurting Mel. I care about her, and I only want to make her happy. I’m not messing about. This is serious for me.”
“For both of us,” Mel says, coming to my side and snuggling into me. My arm wraps protectively around her, and our pose almost mirrors Ari and Cal’s.
The beeping of the smoke alarm rescues the situation, and it’s all hands on deck as we scramble to rescue the remnants of breakfast.
As we sit around the table, eating and joking, I feel like I’m finally breathing after years of barely keeping my head above water. I finally feel alive, and the future is bursting with promise. Turns out, Mel knew me better than I knew myself. All this time she’s slowly been healing me, a bit at a time, without me ever knowing.
As if she can read my thoughts, her head flips up and she holds my gaze. There’s so much power in that one look, and as I return her adoring smile, I know I’m home.
That she’s all I’ll ever want and all I’ll ever need.
UNDER THE MISTLETOE
This story is set four years’ post-epilogue, so you should only read this if you have already read Destiny Rising.
Ariana
Tilting my head back, I inspect the smooth oval edges of the evergreen leaves hanging over my head. Cal wiggles the branch, and a glistening berry makes a break for freedom, shooting through the air as the mistletoe hovers invitingly around my persona. My husband steps closer, shuttering his eyes and puckering his lips, and I can’t contain the snicker that escapes my mouth.
“You look totally ridiculous,” I tease, laughing.
“Shut up and kiss me” is his impatient reply.
I sigh. As if he needs to beg.
I brush my lips timidly against his, conscious of the many guests scattered throughout our house. But as usual, he so takes it there. Before I can plan my escape, his arm wraps firmly around my waist, and I’m hauled up against his warm, solid chest. Cupping my face, he angles his head and deepens the kiss, his tongue pleading with my mouth. Unable to deny him a damn thing, I willingly concede, and our tongues start a merry dance, touching and caressing as delicious tingles shoot up and down my body. I press against him as we continue to devour each other, and no one else exists but him.
“Get a room!” Deacon yells right beside my ear.
I jump back, shrieking. “Jeez! Could you be any louder? I’m certain the neighbors heard that.”
“I knew there was a reason I was reluctant to do this whole big-family dinner thing,” he says, waving his hand through the air. He plops down on the couch and takes a quick swig of his beer. “I forgot how nauseating you two are.” He smirks as he kicks his boots up on the coffee table.
Cal levels a purposeful look at him, his gaze flitting between Deacon’s face and his feet. Either Deacon is being deliberately obtuse or he’s genuinely ignorant, but he doesn’t budge an inch. Cal strides toward him and knocks his feet off the table. “Show some respect when you are in other people’s homes.”
Anneka comes puttering into the room making a beeline for me. I smile at my three-year-old daughter as she latches onto my leg. “Mommy,” she says in that adorable cute voice of hers, “Me can’t find Charlie.” She pouts, and of course, her dad instantly swings into action.
“Come here, princess. We’ll go find him together.” He swoops her up into his arms, throwing her high into the air, and my heart almost stalls in my chest. She squeals and the sound of her laughter takes the edge off my anxiety.
“Again, Daddy! Again!” She giggles as Cal thrusts her up toward the ceiling, and my heart pounds erratically against my chest.
“Okay, enough. My fragile heart can’t withstand any more.” I pat a hand over my chest.
Cal slides Anneka around his back, and she wraps her arms around his neck, clinging to him like a tiny spider monkey. Leaning over, he kisses me quick. “You worry too much.” He kisses me again. “Be right back.” He swats my butt for good measure on his way out of the living room, and I roll my eyes.
“Promise to knock some sense into me if I ever end up like that,” Deacon says in all seriousness.
I sink into the couch beside my brother and elbow him in the ribs. “Don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it. You should be hoping you end up like Cal. He’s a great husband and father, and things are really good between us. Don’t you want that for yourself one day?”
“Marriage is for pussies.” He gulps back his beer.
“Deacon! Mind your language, there are kids in the vicinity,” I say, quickly glancing around to make sure none of the children are in earshot. “I know you are young and marriage is probably the furthest thing from your mind right now”—he snorts as if I’ve made the funniest joke ever— “but I don’t understand where this attitude is coming from. You’ve had nothing but good examples.”
“Yeah, it sure worked out well for Nate,” he says snidely, referring to his biological father.
Now I’m getting the picture. I could protest and propose a myriad of different reasons why he shouldn’t use Nate as the appropriate matrimonial example, but I know there’s no point. While Deacon has accepted his parentage, and on the outside, it looks as if he’s made his peace with it, I know deep down inside he still harbors a lot of resentment and anger. And I can understand that on one level.
“Well, he seems happy now,” I admit. No one was more shocked than Zane and Cal when their surviving parents started dating. While Mel has taken it all with a pinch of salt, Zane still struggles to accept the reality of the situation. His relationship with his father-in-law has improved over the years, and I know he has found it in his heart to forgive Nate for the torture he inflicted on him all those years ago, but it’s always been a tentative bonding.
I understand that Zane is worried that Nate is going to hurt his mom, but Erin is more than capable of standing up for herself, and from what I’ve seen of them as a couple, they appear really happy and very much in love. I’m thrilled for both of them, and I genuinely hope it works out.
Deacon snorts and shakes his head.
Honestly, sometimes I’d love to throttle him.
Sure, he’s been through a lot, but so have all of us. I can’t help comparing Cal at eighteen to Deacon, and there’s a vast difference in their maturity. And that’s not a very flattering assessment of Deacon, because Cal was an obnoxious, immature brat on plenty of occasions.
“I’m not ever getting married,” Deacon admits, leveling me with a determined look. “There’s no way I’m bringing anyone into my messed-up shit.” He drags a hand roughly through his blond hair, sending messy waves tumbling over his forehead. His piercing blue eyes betray a hint of the hurt he works so hard to hide, and my heart aches for my little brother.
“Your life isn’t messed up, Deacon.”
“You don’t think?” He arches a brow. “Try explaining two different dads and the fact that my brother is married to my siste
r.”
I resist the urge to roll my eyes. “Stop being so melodramatic. We are your half-brother and sister, and there’s no bloodline. I think you like overplaying it to get a reaction.”
And isn’t that the truth. Deacon’s flair for the dramatic is most definitely a Remus family trait, and I’ve witnessed my fair share of him milking it to invoke maximum sympathy. Mainly from the continuously revolving line of girlfriends he’s never shy of parading. None of them ever last more than a few weeks, and I’d imagine my brother is gaining quite the rep.
Deacon’s jaw clenches tight, and I know I’ve hit a nerve. “You don’t know jack shit, Ari. And stop trying to psycho-analyze me. You were already married and a mom at my age, so you can’t know what it feels like to be me.”
“I do,” Cal says, pushing off the doorframe. I’m not sure how much he heard, but judging by the thunderous look on his face, it’s enough.
“Tag team now, huh?” Deacon swills his beer, jaw twitching.
“It’s Christmas, Deacon. Can you just leave the attitude outside for one day? This is a special time for the kids. Don’t ruin it by getting drunk and mouthing off.” Cal drops down beside me, grabbing me onto his lap. I curl into him, instantly feeling less anxious. “Why don’t we go out for a beer tomorrow, and we can talk,” Cal suggests.
Deacon laughs. “And what brotherly words of wisdom will you have for me this time?”
Cal stiffens underneath me. I kiss his cheek. “Don’t,” I say quietly.
He glares at Deacon and then he relaxes. “It’s okay. I’m fine, babe.” He brushes his lips against mine, reeling me in tighter.
“Man, you are so whipped.” Deacon laughs again, and my fists clench at my side. It’s not that this attitude is unusual, but he had promised me faithfully that he’d be on his best behavior today.
“Getting married and having kids was the best thing that ever happened to me—was the making of me.” Cal looks pensive. “It sure as hell beat sleeping around.”
True Calling: The Short Story Collection Page 4